BeatResetsTheWorld
Banned
Nope. But, I will say if you do a Match % search you see profiles that never show up in special blend. Special blend is some weird subset of match percentage
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Nope. But, I will say if you do a Match % search you see profiles that never show up in special blend. Special blend is some weird subset of match percentage
Ok Gaf, I need help.
First time doing online dating, friend of mine recommended it, and I am completely lost. I'm more of a human interaction type of guy and can feel things out when talking to women.
Online though, no clue what the hell I am doing. I posted on okcupid reddit to see if I could get some feedback and some of it was helpful, most of it not so much. My biggest question is, should I be waiting for the other person to like me back before messaging them? Should I be answering a ton of questions? I stopped at 50 since I thought that would be enough and some of the questions didn't seem like they had anything to do with getting better matches.
Also, if you could tear my profile apart and let me know how I should put it back together, that would be frigging awesome I would owe you all a bunch!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LebaneseLatino
Thanks again!
Edit: I got a lot of responses on reddit saying my pictures were really bad or blurry. Not sure what the problem is to be honest since that's all that was really said.
First time doing online dating, friend of mine recommended it, and I am completely lost. I'm more of a human interaction type of guy and can feel things out when talking to women.
Online though, no clue what the hell I am doing. I posted on okcupid reddit to see if I could get some feedback and some of it was helpful, most of it not so much. My biggest question is, should I be waiting for the other person to like me back before messaging them? Should I be answering a ton of questions? I stopped at 50 since I thought that would be enough and some of the questions didn't seem like they had anything to do with getting better matches.
Also, if you could tear my profile apart and let me know how I should put it back together, that would be frigging awesome I would owe you all a bunch!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LebaneseLatino
Thanks again!
Edit: I got a lot of responses on reddit saying my pictures were really bad or blurry. Not sure what the problem is to be honest since that's all that was really said.
User 479360
Banned
I spent the whole afternoon and night sending messages back and forth with the girl I mentioned earlier. And I didn't bore her or turn her off. That's new.
Apparently she also enjoyed the conversation, and things are looking good. I think she wants kids, though, so it's doomed to fail.
Apparently she also enjoyed the conversation, and things are looking good. I think she wants kids, though, so it's doomed to fail.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
She mentions it multiple times in her profile and is a self declared hippie. In the questions she wouldn't accept people who don't smoke weed.
You're going to get different answers on how to handle messaging here. I would say answers more than 50 questions: comparing answers can tell you things not said in their profile. If a woman disagrees with me on a deal breaker questions I move onto someone else.
Only suggestion I feel confident to make is restructuring the "What I'm doing with my life" section. Maybe make it two sections for school/work and other. Besides that you come across as an awesome, caring dude. On top of that, you're a hunk! Your pictures look fine, just remove #4 and #5.
This sounds awkward to me - "I am currently studying to be a paralegal than hopefully moving onto full blown law school while working at a firm as a paralegal." First, it should be "then". Restructuring the sentence might help..."I am currently studying to be a paralegal, then hopefully working as one while moving on to full blown law school."?
Personally, I'm not a fan of sentences that don't say anything. "Only ever done this twice and both times I didn't really know what to put in here, kinda running into that same dilemma..." or "Music: I pretty much will listen to anything."
When it comes to questions, I've heard it suggested you should answer at least three a day, including explanations when you can be funny/poignant. This will cause you to pop up in girls' "Recent Activity". Only other way to get there is by changing your profile or uploading pics, and you can't do either every day.
As for your pics...party pics are awesome. They tell girls that you're not a lone wolf and you socialize with others. Only problem with yours is you're not the focus. It takes more than a glance to figure out who you are there.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Personally, we wouldn't get along if that's her attitude.
Duly noted and made the change. Appreciate the help by the way and thanks for the compliment haha.
Thank you as well and I made some changes but still have to add more information to my music section. Yeah I totally agree with you on party pictures and that was my mindset when I posted mine. Problem was that was the only picture I had on me at a party.
I was thinking of maybe zooming in but than it would look a bit awkward. Thanks for the tips!
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
It's too bad you don't have better party pictures Azul. Salamando is right, it makes you look social.
Good shit, dude. What do you have planned for V-day?
I literally have no idea. It's such ahort notice. And, if I'm honest, I wasn't expecting it to go this far, but things just seem to be going well. I'm at a loss as to what to do, mind.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Post a link to your profile. For what it's worth, I don't bother with Special Blend. Just use Quickmatch and hit "Like".
Red_taiyaki
Member
Well, the sad truth of reality on Internet dating sites is that it's really a female buyer's market (I've stated this in the past). We can setup our profiles to be perfect, choose the best possible photos and we're still only going to get messaged back maybe 30-40% of the time when we do. Then out of those maybe we'll go out with or meet only a handful.
That being said, the most gregarious girls will always be the ones who don't get a whole lot of guys contacting them as "average" looking girls just need to log on on any given day and said a whole new slew of potential new suitors. I myself have setup dummy profiles in the past to test this out, a few with no photos, and they get bombarded a lot.
So just go with the flow, stay persistent and message girls who are your type; ignoring the "special blend" filter. Sure you are going to get no responses or dropped responses a lot of the time, but all it takes is a few to make it worth your while. Anyways, good luck!
As for me, girl I met up with a few weeks ago dropped off the face of the Earth (contact-wise). Ah well, more experience!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/kgrizzay/
Yeah, I'm not showing my body in my picture, and I only have that one. Just made the profile two days ago.
Yeah I'm messaging my buddies to see if they have pictures of me but it's a bit awkward to ask and I'm more of a live in the moment type of guy, don't usually think to take pictures of everything and stuff.
I'm not sure I get quickmatch. I've had like 9 people "Like" me already but I can't see them cause I need A-list or something? Really weird.
On a good note, I already have 3 dates so that's great. One tomorrow, one either Saturday or Sunday, haven't nailed the day down yet, and one next weekend. OKC isn't all too shabby at all
.Yeah I'm messaging my buddies to see if they have pictures of me but it's a bit awkward to ask and I'm more of a live in the moment type of guy, don't usually think to take pictures of everything and stuff.
I'm not sure I get quickmatch. I've had like 9 people "Like" me already but I can't see them cause I need A-list or something? Really weird.
On a good note, I already have 3 dates so that's great. One tomorrow, one either Saturday or Sunday, haven't nailed the day down yet, and one next weekend. OKC isn't all too shabby at all
wat.
guess I'm just ugly then
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
It's okay man. I had 3 dates all of last year.
So on Sunday I was suppose to meet up with someone but they never showed. It was in my area, so I was just waited for them to text me and say they were on there way but she never did. A few hours later she hits me up saying she fell asleep, whatever. No big deal. Deleted my Tinder after that, I'll come back to it but I need better pictures.
That said, on Tuesday I had a date and for the time in a long time it was someone I was really into. Like more than just a hook up kinda thing. The date was short because she had an interview for that birthright thing but I'll be seeing her Valentine's day and hoping I don't fuck this up.
That said, on Tuesday I had a date and for the time in a long time it was someone I was really into. Like more than just a hook up kinda thing. The date was short because she had an interview for that birthright thing but I'll be seeing her Valentine's day and hoping I don't fuck this up.
95%! Date time.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
You're making me blush
Red_taiyaki
Member
Keep getting replies on OKC recently, but they're usually disengaged and keep their answers short without asking any questions....
why they even bother replying I'll never know.
#FWP
why they even bother replying I'll never know.
#FWP
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
A spot was locked down for Saturday. A time hasn't because she hasn't gotten back to me. I'm gonna play that one cool though. Went on a date last night, first one from Match and it went really well. Good conversation and shared interests. I told her that I would be busy on Saturday due to other plans, but if things do fall through with this other woman, I'll see if last night's date would be up for dinner.
We'll see how things go.
We'll see how things go.
If we knew the answer to that...
What I've started doing is asking them one question - "What's something you want to ask me that you wouldn't be surprised if I don't answer but you kind of sort of want to see if I answer it?" Some girls take this and turn it into a game of chicken. Didn't take long at all for this one girl to start telling me exactly what she likes in bed...
MonorailCat
Member
I know that feel.
Been on okcupid since July, swiped thorugh ALL quickmatches in my area and got about 20 in total who liked me back in the last 8 months. And I live in a 3 million city.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
You are a closer match to me than almost everyone haha. You definitely need more pictures; you aren't ugly but you need to avoid the impression of it being a myspace type deception picture - perhaps one of you with friends. Seems decent enough to me. I don't think profiles are very important, they just need some conversational hooks - bands, movies, employment etc. Pictures are most important.
Someone post that gif of the lion telling the boy he's beautiful. Kev needs it.
My gf left me after 4.5 years, we were planning to move in together in a few months, then a guy who is better looking than me introduced himself to her and suddenly I stopped existing. So yeah it feels shitty every time someone is better off than me because I'm not 10/10.
megamerican
Member
You aren't ugly by a long shot. I would guess the problem is that you have just one picture and it's a pretty flat looking selfie.
I added some picz
It's better to put all your pics in your profile pics folder. Any other folders are as good as nonexistent, as far as the mobile app is concerned.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Congrats!
MonorailCat
Member
Was just looking if there was something I could shamelessly copy ;>
I feel like a really good date with you would be taking turns playing Sonic R.
edit: Just looking through your recent posts, you hate the big bang theory and are disappointed in america. Combined with your looks, if I were a girl, we'd already be together.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Valentine's day date completed. I opted to not take the cheap Chocolates that I bought earlier in the week and she was totally cool with it. It was a no pressure date on the beach. Good few hours in Santa Cruz.
O honey, no one is perfect
User 479360
Banned
Well, I've run out of questions to answer on OkCupid. Now what will I do when I'm bored?
I did that initially and I found when going back through it I didn't care about most of them.
So i reset it and answered like 150 of the most important ones.
The next most important thing is adding pictures to your profile
User 479360
Banned
I'm not very photogenic, and have hardly had my picture taken in years. It's not good, because my only picture on my profile is a black and white one I took when I got my laptop back in 2006.
My hair has thinned since then, but I look pretty similar.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
When I was actively on OKC in July/August/September of last year the profiles I was seeing were decent enough. When things got real with the woman I met on POF in late September, I eventually disabled my account.
I re-enabled it mid January of this year when that thing ended and I've had to shake my head "nope" to nearly everything they were pushing my way or who was viewing my profile.
I don't want to delete it, because of the 100's of questions I've answered.
I re-enabled it mid January of this year when that thing ended and I've had to shake my head "nope" to nearly everything they were pushing my way or who was viewing my profile.
I don't want to delete it, because of the 100's of questions I've answered.
Big Papa Husker
Member
Yeah that is my problem too. I have quite a few pictures from 3-5 years ago. I look the same except my hair has thinned quite a bit. :/
TimeEffect
Member
Just to confirm:
On tinder, if you turn off Discoverability, it doesn't delete the people who you've swiped right on that haven't matched with you (yet), right?
They'll still see me and get to decide to swipe right or left? Or am I hidden from them too?
I turn off discovery every time I'm not on...
On tinder, if you turn off Discoverability, it doesn't delete the people who you've swiped right on that haven't matched with you (yet), right?
They'll still see me and get to decide to swipe right or left? Or am I hidden from them too?
I turn off discovery every time I'm not on...
User 479360
Banned
I'm considering downloading Tinder and trying it, but I don't think it'd be a good idea as an overweight, hairy geek.