Joe Lieberman: I Want To Be Number Two
In the latest in our on-going series of possible vice presidential candidates, today: Joe Lieberman. He's been attached to John McCain at his (still unbroken, knock on wood) hip, and, as Walter Shapiro wrote in Salon this week, "it is not hard to pick up Republican whispers that the wild-card Lieberman speculation is grounded in reality rather than water-cooler fantasy."
Sure, he used to be a Democrat, but on the other hand he is willing to say anything, and next to John McCain, he's almost charismatic. Plus, in the GOP's southern base, his religion is less despised than Mitt Romney's.
For more about Joe Lieberman...
Current job: U.S. senator from Connecticut
Age: 66.
Astrological sign: Pisces.
A-hole factor (1-10): 11.
Vibe: Annoying.
Celebrity look-a-like: Deputy Dawg.
RGI (Regular Guyness Index):
Extremely low. Spent the early years of the Vietnam war fighting on the New Haven front, at Yale University.
Cons:
* Combined age of ticket would be 226 years old
* Despised by virutually everyone who comes into contact with him.
Pros:
* Not everyone has come into contact with him.
* Has already helped the Republicans win one presidential race (2004).
* Has the most love for John McCain that a man can legally have according to the laws of Connecticut and the Torah.
Famous for:
* Being the first prominent Democrat to publicly criticize Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
* Leaving the Democratic Party and running under the "Connecticut for Lieberman" party after he was beaten in the Democratic Party by Ned Lamont in 2006.
What John McCain loves about him: His loyalty.
Brings to ticket:
* Youthfive years younger than McCain.
* Can deliver the self-hating Jewish vote.
* Wife Hadasssah rumored to be a swinger.
How Bangable by Opposite Sex (1-10): 1.
How Bangable by Same Sex (1-10):
* Gay community at large: 2
* Jowl fetish community: 8
Most likely scandal:
Is found to be having a long-term sexual affair with the Western Wall.
Odds of being chosen: 10 - 1.