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POPGAF |OT9| Too much shade can burn you...
- Thread starter cory64
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Sis, go IN.
I love all PopGaffers, none of you should leave. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I haven't noticed that Gravelord takes the brunt of personal attacks in this thread. I've seen people be just flat-out mean to him in this thread. Everything from his grammar, to Puerto Rico shade (which...Puerto Rico is awesome, and they have the best drag queens), I've seen it in this thread. And each time, sis is just like:
Sis, you're my spirit animal.
BlueBadger
Banned
Hmm.. I don't remember you ever standing up for me when my feelings were hurt in LGBT. In fact, I just remember you laughing along with everybody else which can be just as hurtful
Listen, I'm not here to start anything with you. I like you a lot and I adore everybody here. I just felt like Alex really had a leg to stand on, and your additional jab at the end when he really didn't need it was uncalled for. I don't know what kind of history you have with him, but they say it's only funny until someone gets hurt. And someone was
.I had no idea people were so mean to you. I've only been in PopGAF for a few weeks. But believe me, if someone was making the same jab at you right meow I'd be saying the exact same things to that person. I just really don't want anyone to leave because I really love all the friends I've made in here ;__;. That includes you and Alex and everybody else.
Hmm.. I don't remember you ever standing up for me when my feelings were hurt in LGBT. In fact, I just remember you laughing along with everybody else which can be just as hurtful
wow this is disgusting
You are one of the better posters I've seen here and I'm sorry you had to experience that form of bullying Blue
Beyonce Beytwice
Member
You should GIS that cyber bullying tweet by Tyler the Creator, it's very educational.
(I'm not sure if it is allowed to post it here because it contains the n-word, so that's why you should GIS it)
Hmm.. I don't remember you ever standing up for me when my feelings were hurt in LGBT. In fact, I just remember you laughing along with everybody else which can be just as hurtful
Listen, I'm not here to start anything with you. I like you a lot and I adore everybody here. I just felt like Alex really had a leg to stand on, and your additional jab at the end when he really didn't need it was uncalled for. I don't know what kind of history you have with him, but they say it's only funny until someone gets hurt. And someone was
I had no idea people were so mean to you. I've only been in PopGAF for a few weeks. But believe me, if someone was making the same jab at you right meow I'd be saying the exact same things to that person. I just really don't want anyone to leave because I really love all the friends I've made in here ;__;. That includes you and Alex and everybody else.
I laughed cause I didnt expected that answer from all the guys. It wasnt meant to hurt you or anything just that I found all those answers unexpected and it was funny to watch everyone saying no to you as the gay mafia leader which itself was a joke. Next time you decide to jump to conclusions and say this person is this or that you should maybe look back to the other threads or the same thread before calling this person nice or not. I had enough of things said to me in this thread and I aint gonna play nice when I get constantly shamed from my grammar, to where I live, to who I like etc. As you said there are people who are more sensible than others and I say there is people who handle mean people differently than others
I'm not stabbing anyone nor insulting them because believe me if I wanted to actually insult him I would gone straight to the ban. If me being honest that I really have no opinion of him is hurtful I don't wanna see what would have happened if I said multiple things I have on my mind about other girls in here that treat me worse than him.
As I said earlier be nice to me and I'll be nice to you. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite telling someone I don't like to stay simply cause "It's the right thing to do". I showed that soft side before gifting music, making gif request but you know how things are here where people notice a negative thing and build from that instead of looking at everything I do.
Matt_
World's #1 One Direction Fan: Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you~~~
Weapxn
Mikkelsexual
He's really gross. :\ That one song of his that was "big" always bothered me, even more so when I found out that he spews shit like this (or worse) on a regular basis.
BlueBadger
Banned
But just because you're capable of saying something much worse than you did doesn't mean that what you said wasn't hurtful to begin with!
Also I did read the entirety of that thread. Even after I said my feelings were hurt, you just went on with all the others about how I was creating "Glee drama" and just started joking about that. You weren't as malicious during that incident as other guys in that thread, of course! But you were still involved to some degree
. But I'm not trying to bring up the past anymore. I just want to act like a real community yknow? Cause that's what we're supposed to be Thanks for the apology mister I really appreciate that <33.
I mean I'm obviously okay now. But I was pretty hurt and sad at the time
! But I'm really glad to hear you say that you value me as a poster here <3. It's been a lot of fun finding new music and stuff and I can't wait to find more with you guys :3.But just because you're capable of saying something much worse than you did doesn't mean that what you said wasn't hurtful to begin with!
I didn't do that before but when people were/are constantly mean to me in this thread I simply couldn't/can't stay quiet letting them all say what they want. I reported to mods that some people getting personal and all I got was a grow a thicker skin message by a mod.
What does that tell you about how I should behave? Why don't they tell that to others? Do you see what I'm dealing with?
I just want to act like a real community yknow? Cause that's what we're supposed to be
Every community has their own set of events which come with good and bad. None is perfect and confrontations no matter how much are tried to be kept at bay eventually will happen. Also this being PopGaf shade is the word of the day every single day.
Booty Patrol
Banned
BlueBadger
Banned
Like I said, I don't condone people being mean-spirited and personal with anybody. And I'm all for people standing up for themselves when they're being shaded. But in this case, it doesn't seem to me like that's what went down. Alex just said he was going to leave because his feelings were hurt by the way he was being treated. He didn't mention you at all and you still just went for it
.EDIT: of course shade is something that's going to happen in PopGAF, but there's a difference between joking around with music tastes and then taking a jab at someone who's STATED that their feelings have been hurt ;_;
which one
I don't need to answer what you already know. 💅
💀which one
Booty Patrol
Banned
Watch out Pupi, I've gotten banned myself for spilling tea about the unfairness of CERTAIN mods when it comes to CERTAIN people.
It's a mess, tbh.
It's a mess, tbh.
7echnicolor
Member
We need more love in here.
❤ 🌈 💕 😚
💀💀💀
I'm done.
❤ 🌈 💕 😚
💀💀💀
I'm done.
Beyonce Beytwice
Member
Bb, you can train yourself to turn off your emotions so your feelings can't be hurt anymore. It's quite easy.
The hardest to train to turn off are anger and vindictiveness. When you have learned how to turn those off you are a blackbelt.
BlueBadger
Banned
But why would anyone want to turn off emotions? :/ they're what make us human. And I don't think someone who hasn't turned off their emotions should reap the consequences just because they haven't..
Bernard is saying that you need to learn to ignore shit or not take things too literally. 🔎
7echnicolor
Member
BlueBadger
Banned
<+)O Robido O(+>
Member
Does this mean the FlopCast isn't happening?And on a not so much dissimilar note, today might not be the best day to put a mic in front of my face....
7echnicolor
Member
Beyonce Beytwice
Member
Because they're annoying and pointless. They have no value.
Unless you use them for your own benefit. Like, I'm crying right now because someone just called me Bernard. But I'm making the best of it by using my tears to season my lunch. This saves me money on salt. So I turned something negative around into something positive, just like Buddha and various pop icons would advise us to do.
<+)O Robido O(+>
Member
Not everybody gets it. It took me a minute to get it when I first got here.
Does this mean the FlopCast isn't happening?
Oh it still is I think
, I wouldn't miss it for the world! 
BlueBadger
Banned
While I disagree with the first part of your post about emotions being pointless, I will say that your post did make me laugh pretty hard haha! <3. And I think there's merit to it, as well. :3. I should try to meet somewhere in the middle somehow, I think..
お帰り
I suppose this means I need to address some things. We have had problems with both bullying and feuding in these threads, issues that have spilled out to other places (Skype, KiK, Plug, and possibly other places I'm even less familiar with) and occasionally originated in those places. I have not been immune to this; I stopped hanging out in Skype months ago because of the ugly and incessant harassment I was receiving in there. And it is one of the difficulties of moderating this community that I won't always recognize when something is going to be taken as an affront versus something that is going to be taken in stride. There have been times where I have been PM'd about posters taking oblique potshots towards other posters, and I frankly would not have recognized it as such without it being pointed out. And oftentimes I'll admit that I did not do anything because on their own they seemed rather mild - like something that ought to be ignored. I was wrong, and it's helped to create an uncomfortable atmosphere for some of us. I'll also admit that I did not notice the fact that Touchdown was getting nearly as much shit as he has been. He has been ignoring it, by and large, but several people have been pointing out the fact that certain posters have been making oblique comments about it, and even bringing it up in OT. This is going to stop. The nickname(s) need to stop; the posts with screenshots of PMs need to stop, and the conversations-that-aren't-about-it-but-really-are need to stop.
Gravelord_Nito is right about one thing: I have treated him differently. I don't make any apologies for this; I have treated him differently because he has behaved differently. It is true that he has gotten teased for his grammar, where he lives, and who he likes - though this last is expected here - and I admit that even once I noticed it I did not realize that he was taking such offense to it. I probably should have, and it's a consequence of the fact that when you allow some kinds of insults it creates opacity on where you ultimately draw the line. Still, none of that could excuse the personal attacks Gravelord made in response - "Get your welfare hoodrat ass back to the corner you were selling your anus for a happy meal before saying things without knowing."
We treat disputes differently depending on the behavior of the posters involved. You do not get to call someone a welfare hood rat selling their anus for a Happy Meal, whatever they said before that, and then demand to be treated as if you were the victim in that exchange. You either get to 'keep it real', and get banned along with whoever was making fun - if you're lucky enough that the provocation seems to warrant it - or you get to report it. And let me be clear: When you decide to go in on someone like that, you help take the whatever heat there might have been off of them and onto yourself. You change the dynamic from one person being a bully to two people bickering, and one of them happens to be behaving much more poorly.
DMJ, however, is right about nothing - though I would particularly note the foolishness of repeatedly 'calling out' the only moderator who didn't want to perm him the last time around. The more fool he.
So. Here are some changes I would like to see:
- If you are currently engaging in the sort of mean-spirited posting designed to drive people away that this fracas has been about, either as one of the hangers-on who likes to quote the offending posts and titter about the 'in-joke', or you are one of the people who is doing so directly: Stop. I know who most of you are, and I will be banning for it in the future, both those starting it and those who encourage it. This is your only warning. If you cannot tell the difference between mean-spirited and not, stick to throwing shade at pop stars and not other posters.
- If you believe that someone is being mean-spirited or trying to drive you - or someone else - from the thread, don't engage with them. Instead, send me a PM about the issue. Do not just say, "So-and-so is making fun of me." I need a post, or posts, and I need you to explain what is happening. This is especially true if they are making a reference that I may not get because it stems from something off-site. The better you can document the issue, the longer I get to ban them. It's win-win.
- Remember that I do not read every post in this thread. I do not read this thread on a daily basis, and even when I am reading the thread I skip over a lot looking for the things that interest me. I read this thread because I enjoy it, not because I'm 'the official moderator' (which I'm not; any moderator is capable of moderating this thread, a point we'll come back to). Even if you see me posting on the same page as something shitty, don't presume I've seen it. If it bothers you, and you don't think I've done anything, send me a PM. The worst that will happen is that I will tell you I didn't think it was bad enough (though if you bring me a pattern, something that may not be bad enough on its own might be bad enough in context), or I PM'd a warning already. If you do not report posts, you don't get to complain later that no one did anything about it.
freenudemacusers
Member
this thread is covered in slime
Mumei has spoken. And for what it's worth, I agree.
The best thing to do, really, is keep the shade throwing to the popstars and everyone else's utter lack of taste in music. When you find yourself shading people for something other than their opinions of your faves, that's usually the point where it starts to go too far. There's reading, and then there's being a bitch.
And I actually forgot about that "welfare hoodrat" comment while I'm over here sticking my neck out
The best thing to do, really, is keep the shade throwing to the popstars and everyone else's utter lack of taste in music. When you find yourself shading people for something other than their opinions of your faves, that's usually the point where it starts to go too far. There's reading, and then there's being a bitch.
BlueBadger
Banned
Awesome post, Mumei I'm really sorry for any trouble I caused.. ;______;!!
I'm really sorry for any trouble I caused.. ;______;!!Leona Lewis
Banned
That was fast.
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