It's appropriate writing for the wide target audience.
Let me explaing: as an adult I agree with you, and the writing is really snowflake. But then I look at my kids. I do not agree with how I was brought up (I love my parents, and recognize they have done the best they could with what they had) and I do want to make sure that they get positive reinforcement, that life is difficult, it isn't perfect, and you fail more often than not. I LOVE to play in front of them, die, and laugh it off. It isn't a big deal, you regroup and retry.
So I do get what you say, but this game is for kids as well, and I believe that kids needs that kind of writing.