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- Thread starter ShockingAlberto
- Start date
- Status
Yep. I'm going to have to do this now.
Professor Beef
Banned
Mermaids aren't know for studying, though!
I didn't say I'd be a permanent mermaid
I just, you know, like to swim.
Professor Beef
Banned
She's one mean studyer.
Everyone knows you can't be a mermaid without talking animal companions.I didn't say I'd be a permanent mermaid
I just, you know, like to swim.
/dreamcrusher
I have a cat who... sort of talks to me
I mean, not in human words. But she lets me know when someone has annoyed her A couple of days ago she ran up the stairs meowing and meowing. I didn't know what her problem was, so I turned over and went back to sleep. Later I find out that she wanted to sit in this great sunny spot as she does most mornings, but found someone else was already sitting there. This upset her so much she had to come and tell me about it. This is my cat.
GameplayWhore
Member
She could hang out with another mermaid. They're animals.
Or humans even.
GameplayWhore
Member
Aw, c'mon, which would you really prefer to hang out with?
Fish people creep me out.
Well, humans aren't THAT bad. I quite like a few of them. As long as they don't want to eat me.
He has to clean it sometime. It's as good a time as any.
Professor Beef
Banned
AwwwwwwwwI have a cat who... sort of talks to me
A couple of days ago she ran up the stairs meowing and meowing. I didn't know what her problem was, so I turned over and went back to sleep. Later I find out that she wanted to sit in this great sunny spot as she does most mornings, but found someone else was already sitting there. This upset her so much she had to come and tell me about it. This is my cat.
Well why didn't you help him out?
GameplayWhore
Member
Good point there. Before Cracked became inexplicably awesome, back when they were a cheap knockoff of a popular parody magazine, they tried to split off into making scary comic stories. One of them was about mermaids that turned out to be kill man-eaters (probably woman-eaters, too). Whoa, that particular synapse has not fired in decades!
The stories were not scary.
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
It's 2:30AM, I can't sleep, I can't be bothered with uni at all and I'll probably end up accidentally sleeping through it tomorrow, and I'm feeling rather lonely.
Bluuggh.
Bluuggh.
I thought about presenting myself topless in TC tonight if that would help
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
*forces a load of food down your gullet*
Hm? What do you mean "not that kind of empty"?
...oh.
Erm.
...sorry.
*stares at sentence in confusion*
No TC for me tonight
I'm not the kind of person who eats myself happy
But I might have some spicy almonds later.Mmm, Spicy Almonds.I'm not the kind of person who eats myself happy
Do you (and Dave) have a moment to peek in the RPG google doc?
-What did the ghost say to the wall?
Hey just passing through.
-Why was the scientists head all wet?
cuz, he had a brain storm.
-What did one plate say to the other?
Lunch is on me.
-Where does a one legged man work?
IHOP.
-Why do you go to bed?
because the bed won't come to you.
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
Fucking shit
Goodfellas was on at the cinema last night
And I completely forgot
Fucks sake
Goodfellas was on at the cinema last night
And I completely forgot
Fucks sake
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I feel like dangerously down.
So, I'm going to work out and see if that helps.
yay for mental illness
So, I'm going to work out and see if that helps.
yay for mental illness
Haha. Fortunately I love terrible jokes.
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
I knew I forgot to do something! O:
Chuckie
Member
I noticed some people have left behind my avatars
That's fast.
Happened to mine too. Some never even used them
Professor Beef
Banned
I'll change mine at midnight.
That's fast.
Happened to mine too. Some never even used them
Yeah, it's sad when that happens :<
Speaking of which, we really must have a Tence Redux this summer
I love my avatar too much to not use her again.Woohoo!
Ahem.
----
NOTES:
-Please don't worry if you haven't been mentioned or are not one of the initial 8 party members. If you have a bio you will be mentioned and do something awesome during this storyline.
-Yes, Sentry has been transmogrified into a pet cat at some point before the start of our tale here, shortly after graduating from the Mage College. 'spose I'll leave it up to him if he wants to get cured as part of the plot.
-If you have something specific in mind for your character or want to check if something is possible or whatever, please PM me. The less you give me, the less spotlight your character will have (and if that's what you want, you can let me know that too of course).
-If you haven't been introduced yet and, regardless of your bio, decide you'd like your character to be an antagonist or betray the group or something, please PM me.
-If you happen to be willing to have your character die, please PM me.
-I'll organize and make these chapters available on the RPG site somehow as I write them.
-Any guesses as to who's at the door? It's one of us
Chapter 1 - Things as They Seem
——
It was dawn.
In a modest stone cottage atop a rather inaccessible cliff, a young scholar paced back and forth hastily, the tassel on her demure cap swinging excitedly in the morning light. Her outstretched arms and open hands clutched a tattered book in front of her face. Her eyes darted left and right as her brain made sense of each line. On a table to the left of her pendulous stride there lay a much larger book that seemed so heavy as to require two of her to lift. Arcane characters glistened slightly on the pages of the massive tome. Every so often, the scholar shifted her gaze from the book in her hands over to the bigger one, as if to double-check or reconsider or illuminate some aspect of the words before her.
A third book floated nonthreateningly on the other side of the woman as her feet continued to wear a path into the cobbled floor. This one appeared to contain something like a recipe scrawled in shorthand. It hovered in the air, following the scholar lazily from side to side though she seemed to be paying it no mind herself. Other, more stationary books lined the walls and shelves fixed to the ceiling. If one were to follow the curving staircase downward from this room, he or she would find its walls lined with more books, leading to cellar after cellar full of more books yet, as it plunged deep into the mountainside.
In the corner of the scholar's study there sat a golden, tarnished cauldron filled nearly to the brim with a deep red liquid. A large, ornate silver spoon stirred the mixture as a constant rate as if of its own desire. Every so often it boiled from red to bright, fluorescent green. On one side of the red-shingled roof of the cottage was a chimney, exhaling smoke that coalesced occasionally into odd shapes: a star, a lightning bolt, a lion's head. Also, the smoke was blue.
A grey-and-black striped cat hopped onto an open windowsill and peered into the cottage. After meowing fruitlessly a few times, the scholar's concentration seemed to break momentary and she glanced over at the feline. He jumped lithely into the study and, when he should have landed on the stone floor, seemed instead to slide through it as though it were made of smoke, and reemerged from a wall near the celing. He landed silently on a thick stack of books and purred happily.
"Good morning, Sentry," said Lissar.
The cat meowed and cooed in response. He turned and walked back into the wall; this time, he popped out of a bookshelf just above the golden cauldron. He peeked at the pulsating liquid and made a quizzical noise, tilting his head and looking at Lissar.
"Healing potion for the Thieves' Guild. If I have to hear about the lack of Clerics around here one more time when they come by with scraped elbows and broken toes..."
Something seemed to catch her attention suddenly and she rapidly turned to stare out the window. Her pupils briefly flashed a brilliant green and her eyes widened in a look of surprise. Her lips, a thin, horizontal line, did not waver.
Her gaze projected outward from the cottage, widening and expanding in her mind as if strained through a fisheye lens. She peered at the wall of trees forming a nearby forest. Then her gaze penetrated the forest, racing past trees and underbrush, increasing in speed as though the scholar were flying through the foliage. Suddenly the rushing view slowed and settled on an open clearing with the sun slowly peeking over the new day's horizon. Eight figures stood, kneeled, or lay about the clearing in various states of rest.
“You can call me RawPower,” proclaimed a heavily-armored, bearded knight carrying a large sword.
“Subtle,” said a cloaked figure with a smirk. “And what precisely would you say you can offer this group? The name is Hawkian, by the way.”
RawPower grunted, bemused, and lifted the gigantic sword above his head, then plunged it downward. The blade sunk nearly a foot into the firm soil. Bronze gears in the handle whirred and a rush of steam escaped the mechanism, driving the weapon down even further.
Another cloaked, shifty rogue punched Hawkian playfully on the shoulder. This one wore a mask. “I say we hire him. I’m Clearacell,” he said, turning and nodding toward the mercenary.
Two other hooded adventurers, both female, stood nearby.
“We’re the Thieves’ Guild,” said Hawkian. “That’s Hiro Protagonist over there...”
“I go by H. Pro,” explained the thief, smiling wryly.
“And the lovely quiet one just there is Pau,” said Hawkian, pointing. She nodded a silent hello.
“I’m hungry,” muttered H. Pro.
“We keep going. We’ll get our resident firestarter to roast us something nice if we bump into it on the way.”
“Hawk, I’m hungry too. These muscles don’t maintain themselves you know.” This voice came from a shirtless beastmaster, clothed in bright, fresh pelts skinned from a variety of fauna. A particularly menacing leopardskin covered his scalp. Beside him stood an giant black and white feline about half his size. He regarded RawPower warily. “I am Dav’du, charge of the great whiteback Thu’l-ah, pride of the Gongorro. But you’re never going to remember that, so I go by Davedough. This here is Sumo,” he said, patting the huge cat on his neck.
“These are our friends,” Hawkian said to the mercenary, gesturing toward Dave and the two other remaining members of the increasingly eclectic band.
One of them stood with his back against a tree trunk, snapping his thumb and forefinger loudly ever few seconds. Each time he did, a floating flame sprang into life an inch or two above his fingers, then snuffed itself out again. His clothes were particularly stylish for a random traveler in the forest, and his wizard’s hat sat cocked at a roguish angle atop his head. “La1n,” he uttered by way of introduction.
“Best black mage in the lowlands,” said H. Pro. “That is, assuming you want something lit on fire. Which we usually do.”
“And that-” said Hawkian slowly, pointing at the final figure in the clearing, “-would be Wallach.”
Wallach stood a good ten or fifteen feet away from the rest of the group. RawPower’s mouth opened in disbelief as he got a good look. His body was covered in whirring, clicking mechanical contraptions. Every so often one of them seemed to start smoking or sent a light shower of sparks in all directions. His head was covered by what appeared to be a witch’s hat, but poking through it on either side was a gleaming golden Viking horn- each with a flared tip that was constantly spewing steam. He did not seem at all concerned with RawPower’s presence, or anything else for that matter, except for the task that kept his hands fixed in front of him: telekinetically disassembling and reassembling a mechanical spider.
“You’ll... come to get him over time. So, you’ll help us out?” asked Hawkian.
RawPower nodded, yanking his sword from the earth.
“Right then,” said Clearacell. “We get some food for the kids, we hit the castle and get the thing for the scholar, and we hightail it back to her place by sundown. Agreed?”
As the members of the ragtag party nodded in agreement, Lissar’s projected view flickered and contracted, then zoomed back through the woods and found its way into the window of her cottage once again. She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes.
“Well,” she murmured, stroking Sentry on the scruff of his neck, “it appears we have our work cut out for us.”
Suddenly there was a loud, panicked knock on the door of her cottage. Her head swiveled rapidly around to face the startling noise. Her stoic expression, however, remained unchanged.
----
NOTES:
-Please don't worry if you haven't been mentioned or are not one of the initial 8 party members. If you have a bio you will be mentioned and do something awesome during this storyline.
-Yes, Sentry has been transmogrified into a pet cat at some point before the start of our tale here, shortly after graduating from the Mage College. 'spose I'll leave it up to him if he wants to get cured as part of the plot.
-If you have something specific in mind for your character or want to check if something is possible or whatever, please PM me. The less you give me, the less spotlight your character will have (and if that's what you want, you can let me know that too of course).
-If you haven't been introduced yet and, regardless of your bio, decide you'd like your character to be an antagonist or betray the group or something, please PM me.
-If you happen to be willing to have your character die, please PM me.
-I'll organize and make these chapters available on the RPG site somehow as I write them.
-Any guesses as to who's at the door? It's one of us
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I noticed some people have left behind my avatars
But thanks to the ones who are still wearing them :3 Especially you! You know I'm talking to you. Thanks a lot for that.
I woke up and saw this... been trying to figure out how to remove the lines like everyone else!
Hahahaha!! This is too awesome. Quoted for the new page! Oh and as much as I would've liked to be a character who can walk upright, I can't exactly complain when I'm getting stroked by lisaar.
But seriously, wicked writing and awesome integration with the art of each character. I might have some ideas for me, though, while still making sense in the story so far.
This seriously made me honestly laugh out loud, lol.
Chuckie
Member
Chuckie
Member
It started with Real Pic January where a group of users used their own pic as their avatar. It had some sub-themes like Hats, balancing stuff on your head and ties.
After that came Fake Pic Februari where I made paint-versions of peoples real avatar (see tag for how they looked)
Now it's RPG march, where Lissar has made paintings of us in our favorite RPG class.
- Status