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- Thread starter ShockingAlberto
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GameplayWhore
Member
I'm way ahead of you there.
♫♫♫
Anyway, more music, why not....
Earlier, I mentioned that I strongly dislike parody songs. I just feel that they're generally lazy. You take an already existing song and just substitute words in for the subculture you like. Those two incredibly popular break.com parodies of "Tonight I'm Watching You" and "California Girls" annoy me to no end, because they just throw random nerd references in with no context, and all the actual work was done by the artist of the original song! Still, for some reason I have an almost complete exemption of this rule for Weird Al Yankovic. I like his parodies. For some reason, listening to his parody of a song makes it easier for me to get into the original artist if I did not care for them before.
That aside, I like his original songs, too. Here's one of them that particularly appeals to the "maker" in me:
Weird Al - Hardware Store
It's a bit unnerving that the author is named Dave as well.
FTFY
His Beach Boys pastiche, "Pancreas," is pretty impressive as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqDBB0no6dQ
InfiniteNine
Rolling Girl
(Most of) M birthday presents to myself came in today~!
Waiting on Metroid Zero Mission, Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga, and Oracle of Ages and Seasons.
Waiting on Metroid Zero Mission, Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga, and Oracle of Ages and Seasons.
Hey it's a gamechild special pedition(Most of) M birthday presents to myself came in today~!
Waiting on Metroid Zero Mission, Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga, and Oracle of Ages and Seasons.
(Most of) M birthday presents to myself came in today~!
Waiting on Metroid Zero Mission, Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga, and Oracle of Ages and Seasons.
It is awesome indeed.
So awesome.
And good luck cleaning all the little details.
I wish I could say the same.I had a good friend confess to me once :< At first I stayed away because I thought he would be uncomfortable with it... but because we had mutual friends and classes we had a lot of contact, and eventually we came around to being even better friends
Long story short, he likes me too much and don't even bear to talk with me these days. I find that extremely sad, because I really enjoyed his company.
...And now, too much have happened after I was here last time. What.. five pages to read. I am not going to have time for it now I am afraid. Perhaps later so forgive me I am so last season.
I have couple spare pounds if you wish to have them. In muscles or in fat?
This is awesome.
Yeah I was bored.
echoshifting
Banned
My poor cat, guys
She looks so miserable. I sure hope those kittens come out soon. Wish there was something I could do to make her more comfortable =/
She looks so miserable. I sure hope those kittens come out soon. Wish there was something I could do to make her more comfortable =/
Awwww. That poor little thing.My poor cat, guys
She looks so miserable. I sure hope those kittens come out soon. Wish there was something I could do to make her more comfortable =/
I can't think of anything you could do though. Time is most likely the only thing that helps. They will be out sooner or later.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
My poor cat, guys
She looks so miserable. I sure hope those kittens come out soon. Wish there was something I could do to make her more comfortable =/
Kitty massage and catnip? I'm serious about the massage. Mine turns into a puddle when I rub the area between her shoulder blades. Her eyes get all stoned and she drools a bit.
I confess I mostly do it now to laugh at her stupid expression.So what did the shelter people say about giving you a 'spayed' and yet preggers cat?
CrudeDiatribe
Member
echoshifting
Banned
Kitty massage and catnip? I'm serious about the massage. Mine turns into a puddle when I rub the area between her shoulder blades. Her eyes get all stoned and she drools a bit.
So what did the shelter people say about giving you a 'spayed' and yet preggers cat?
Sounds like they are going to cover the spay. They have asked us to "surrender" the kittens but we aren't going to do that (and we told them as much). We already have good homes selected for all of 'em.
Not much by way of apology or anything, but we didn't ask for one. They have asked for proof of the pregnancy which is reasonable, provided we don't have to bring in the cat...and they've agreed to that condition. Just need a phone call from the vet and the x-ray pic I posted a couple days ago.
Anyway...she won't touch catnip anymore...and she tries to kill me when I attempt to pet anything but her head. She's kind of developed a bit of a grouchy "fuck off I'm pregnant!!!" streak...fortunately I have some experience in this area
clearacell
Member
My cat has feline AIDS and liver cancer. He is throwing up everything he's eating so he's slowly starving to death. He's an old man of about 9 years though (outside cat) so I'm not too surprised by his deteriorating health. Just sad to see him now so skinny though.
I am 5'6''. I have no idea what I weight though and I actually don't have any desire to do so either. I would be just shocked so better not to.
Ignorance is a bliss.
I weight anyways most likely more than most of you though. DD cups and also some muscles do that. I don't ever train and I can still lift a lad who weights around 200 pounds and easily carry a person who weights 160 pounds.
So yeah, if someone is in a need of couple pounds of muscles or pure fat, just ask me. I would be happy to help and donate some. ;P
Awwww. Poor thing. That sounds like a really cruel ending to your lovely companion.
Have you been thinking about euthanasia to relief him from the pain?
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
I don't know what my height/weight is. Oh well.
Incredible song
Specifically "DO YOU WANNA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFE"
Also I can't be bothered to find the post, but
*glares at leadbelly for the self-harm emo quip he made*
Incredible song
Specifically "DO YOU WANNA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFE"
Also I can't be bothered to find the post, but
*glares at leadbelly for the self-harm emo quip he made*
*avatarquote*
clearacell
Member
Yep but we're trying to put him on pills first, see if he can get some appetite back and maybe hold in some food. He deserves to at least have a shot to live a little longer but eventually we're gonna have to put him down.
I feel you there. I have gone trough same kind of situations with pets numerous of times. It is every time as sad and you never get used to it. They are worth it though.
Poor kitty. I had to put an old cat (my first pet) down due to feline AIDS as well. *hugs*
I have the strangest boner right now.gif
Take out the bit about dying cats and I can follow you out onto that limb.
How far in are you?
Boletarian Castle.
I mean, have you beat the Phalanx yet?
Nah.
Ah. Well, I would definitely give it until you reach the Tower Knight for the first time before giving up on it. The sense of accomplishment when you beat your first boss will give you a new wind. When you get to your second one for the first time and get crushed, you'll know whether you feel like trying again until you beat the fucker, or giving up.
shanshan310
Member
Just go straight into dark souls
And 5 2, awww yeah..
an inch too short to work on an airplane ;.;
Professor Beef
Banned
5'10 here. *stands up straight*
Starting with Dark Souls first isn't actually a bad idea. I wouldn't say it's easier, but the first 10 hours are more traditional, and less "throw you in the deep end." Of course, it's hard for me to be objective because I loved the shit out of Demon's Souls before playing Dark.Just go straight into dark souls
And 5 2, awww yeah..an inch too short to work on an airplane ;.;
Brofist!
Just go straight into dark souls
And 5 2, awww yeah..an inch too short to work on an airplane ;.;
I'm almost a foot taller than you. =P
Professor Beef
Banned
Let us all stand up straight and give each other the highest of fives, gentlemen.
What kind of character you playing?I think it's growing on me.
GOD I love that game.
shanshan310
Member
lol, that doesn't surprise me.
My partner is a bean pole-y 6'3. We look incredibly dorky standing next to each other =/
Knight, yo.
shanshan310
Member
Chuckie
Member
According to this website, the end of the year (new years eve). Really who knows though
Ah, a rumored date. I'll take it with a grain of salt.
I want this game BAD.
Okay, SO...
Upon finishing this and reading over the prologue, I realized it's really more of a first chapter than a prologue. So, retcon- that was Chapter 1 and this is Chapter 2. I'll write a real prologue that does a better job of what a prologue is supposed to do at some point (probably before either Chapter 3 or Chapter 4).
I'm also going to (hopefully tomorrow during the day) come up with an elegant way of integrating these into the site from this point forward. I'll hook you all up when it's ready, but it'll be easily reached from http://rpg.demigodmode.com/
If you need to catch up with the fun, here's a link to my post of what is now Chapter 1:
Chapter 1 - Things as They Seem
Anyway, hope you enjoy!
----
Well then!
I understand if you prefer to wait until I get the stuff up on the site to read it. The forum font isn't exactly ideal for reading prose and I can't even do paragraph indents let alone dropcaps and what have you. Anyway, it's done before I went to bed so I kept my promise
I barely proofread it, so please point out any typos you might see!
If you're really antsy to get your character introduced, please PM me. Otherwise I think I had pretty decent ideas for when certain of us should come to pass through the tale.
Upon finishing this and reading over the prologue, I realized it's really more of a first chapter than a prologue. So, retcon- that was Chapter 1 and this is Chapter 2. I'll write a real prologue that does a better job of what a prologue is supposed to do at some point (probably before either Chapter 3 or Chapter 4).
I'm also going to (hopefully tomorrow during the day) come up with an elegant way of integrating these into the site from this point forward. I'll hook you all up when it's ready, but it'll be easily reached from http://rpg.demigodmode.com/
If you need to catch up with the fun, here's a link to my post of what is now Chapter 1:
Chapter 1 - Things as They Seem
Anyway, hope you enjoy!
----
Chapter 2 - The Thing for the Scholar
——
Knock, knock.
Knock knock knock.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
"Patience!" called Lissar.
The scholar's concentration broken, she let out an exasperated sigh and the silver spoon stopped stirring; the floating book fell helplessly onto a side table. Sentry hissed in the general direction of the front door.
Lissar swept across the small room and unlatched the various locks. Swinging it open and inward, she saw two robed individuals, one male and one female, flanking on either side a bizarrely-clothed, blonde young man. The robe-wearers supported the man with their full strength. Despite the fact that the middle figure appeared to be quite thin, the others struggled to keep his body held upright without collapsing.
"Please, let us in! We found him in the woods near our temple. He has a pulse unlike anything we have ever heard," said the man.
"He's alive, but we can do nothing to rouse him. He doesn't seem to be breathing regularly or responding to our healing at all," added the woman.
Lissar considered sternly for a moment, then waved them in. Lacking adequate table space, she had them lay the unconscious man out on the floor.
"I'm Acid O'Eight," said the man. "Please call me Acid. An unusual name for a man of the cloth, I know."
"Not so unusual. Several types of acid are noncorrosive and have legitimate uses in healing, not to mention the various functions fulfilled by acids within the human body. Ascorbic acid is one of the guardians of health, while..."
She trailed off after noticing the eyes of her visitors.
"Right. And you are?" She gestured to the woman.
"Enne. Enne Peasea," she replied. "The village elders said that you were the only one that might be able to help. Our oath requires to tend to all those in need, but nothing works!"
"Which village?" inquired the scholar.
"RealPica. They seemed certain you could help!" Acid smiled reassuringly, as if to make clear that he had no ulterior motives.
Lissar squinted skeptically but seemed to accept the priests' claims. "Sentry, could you get the door?"
The cat leapt into the air and sailed back down, sank through the floor, then zoomed out of the wall paws first toward the door. He bounced off it and somersaulted backwards as it swung shut. He seemed to pose briefly for the stunned guests upon landing.
The scholar leaned in briefly over the strange, still body before her and put her ear to its chest. In place of a heartbeat she thought she heard a sort of dull buzzing, like that of bees or wasps. She glanced over at her stuffed bookshelves as if pondering where the solution to the unconscious man on her suddenly-crowded floor might lie. But before she could follow this line of thinking much further along, her eyes flashed bright green again for an instant, and she swung her head quickly toward her window. What are they getting themselves into...
Back in the thick forest, the party of eight adventures marched along at a steady pace. They held themselves high with a sense of purpose, each one focused somberly on the task ahead. The jostled each other congenialy, but seemed intent on accomplishing what they'd set out to do sooner rather than later.
More than one stomach was rumbling as well, it should be said.
"Seriously I need some food," said H. Pro.
"Hear, hear," agreed RawPower.
"A few days ago I made this pie. Oh wow, you guys should have seen it. So good."
"Look, we're all hungry," said Clearacell matter-of-factly. "Talking about it is definitely not going to make food appear."
"Speak for yourself," whispered Davedough, gesturing with his chin toward a nearby thicket. A tri-horned mossboar was muching leisurely on some shrubs, seemingly unaware of the group. It was massive- more than enough for a hearty lunch.
"Wow, what else can do you?" Hawkian nudged Davedough on the shoulder.
"Everyone stand back and be quiet," announced RawPower, readying his sword to charge at the beast.
"Shhhh," said La1n, placing a hand on his shoulder. He winked. A burst of flame, and the boar was perfectly roasted, upside-down on its back. Its hind legs twitched slightly. "Sorry. I don't have any silver platters on me."
The thieves unsheathed their largest knives and rapidly set about the roasted boar. With undetectable precision, they sliced choice cuts of meat and tossed them to the eager companions. After a few minutes, the forest was thick with the sounds of smacking lips and sighs of contentment. Dave and La1n could be heard laughing at something or other Clearacell had said. Wallach sat silently with a smile on his face; every once in a while a mechanical fork-on-an-arm extended from a patch on his elbow and brought a bite of boar up to his mouth.
"Very nice job with the boar," said an unfamiliar voice.
Eight pairs of eyes swung to look in its direction. Hawkian and RawPower readied their blades.
"Potent magic you've got there, mage." The man wore a mage's hat himself, along with bluish-purple fitted robes. He was sitting with his back against a large tree, just a short distance from the group, drawing intently into a large sketchpad. No one had noticed his arrival. With his eyes pointed downward and the brim of his hat tilted low, no one could make out his face. Slung across his shoulder was a brown sack, out of which popped the head of a sleeping Moogle.
"Good day, traveler!" exclaimed Clearacell as sincerely as he could manage. "What brings you to these woods on this fine day?"
"Oh, oh. Nothing so much at all. I simply like to come out here to draw," he said, indicating the sketchpad in his hands. "Don't mind me."
The group looked at one another warily. Several members shrugged.
"Okay then. You take care now," said Hawkian urgently, indicating to the other members of the party that it might very well be time to go.
The last mouthfuls of boar were downed and belongings packed. The travelers started off deeper into the forest. La1n hung back and stared at the other mage for a few moments as if trying to remember something, then followed his companions.
The party marched onward in silence, drawing nearer to their destination and growing more tense with every moment. The suns had begun to set over the horizon; night was coming, the natural environment of the Thieves' Guild.
"We have to be getting pretty close now," muttered Hawkian. "Are we positive this thing is going to be there?"
"Absolutely," replied RawPower suddenly.
The thieves turned and looked at him with suspicious eyes. "How do you even know what we're looking for?"
"Er, I don't," replied the knight. "Just being optimistic. I have a good feeling about this mission."
"And you want the second half of your gold payment," quipped H. Pro.
"Heh, I wouldn't deny that."
"We are close," said Clearacell. "No more than a half hour from the castle walls now, I'd say."
"It won't be quite dark yet in a half hour," said Hawkian.
H. Pro smirked. "Twilight will be good enough. We're good at this!" Pau nodded and smiled in agreement.
"It's going to be in the dungeon," Clearacell explained. "I heard they're keeping it in its own cell. Don't even want their own soldiers getting a look at it I suppose."
"Guys, we're not alone," said La1n.
Everyone stopped, and Hawkian squinted and peered in all directions. "That other mage show up again?"
"No, not him. Over there..."
A hooded man in brilliant green robes strode into view from between the trees. Slung across his back was an intricate bow and a quiver of arrows. He sported a short, neatly trimmed beard.
"Well met, travelers! I mean you no harm. I am ZeroRay the ranger. What brings you to my humble forest home?"
"We certainly have no quarrel with you, ranger," said RawPower.
"We head toward Gei Ming Keep. Is it nearby?" asked Hawkian.
"You are mere minutes from the castle walls. I can assure you safe passage to its perimeter, but I must leave you there. I have no business with the Empire today."
The group thanked ZeroRay and with his guidance, quickly made its way to the main gate of the keep. The ranger bid them farewell and disappeared back into the woods.
"Nice fellow," said Hawkian. "Now what?"
The eight companions peered out through the trees at their goal. The keep was quite large. Thick, reinforced stone walls sat obnoxiously high with a huge, crenellated parapet around the entire edge. High towers with pointed, gleaming spires adorned each corner. It was surrounded by a wide moat, and the drawbridge in front of the gate was raised.
"Yep, this looks like a pretty stereotypical castle," said La1n.
"Yeah. Alright, we can handle this for the most part," said Clearacell, gesturing to the rest of the Thieves' Guild. "It's dark enough. We'll scout along the entire perimeter and find the spot where the moat is the thinnest. We can get across with our hooks and scale one of the towers. Then we'll split up and each take a corner of the keep. Don't kill anyone unless you have to. Look for the entrance to the dungeons. Once you've got the stash, throw a bunch of smoke bombs, set a munitions cart on fire, anything that tells the rest of us that the job's done and it's time to get out. If we're lucky, no one will know we're here until that moment."
Hawkian, H. Pro, and Pau nodded. They crouched low and sprinted out of the forest.
Clearacell looked back over his shoulder. "The chaos that follows us out of this place is what we'll need the rest of you for. Especially you, mercenary." He and the rest of the thieves continued out toward the gate.
Suddenly their footsteps were interrupted by a loud, dull thud of metal on wood, followed by the metallic chunk-chunk-chunk of the gate being rapidly raised. The drawbridge swung down and smacked into place across the moat. In the gap between the castle walls there was a churning, sputtering contraption on four wheels. It rolled out to halfway across the moat and exhaled steam in all directions. Centered between the four wheels was a tall bronze cylinder, two or three feet in diameter. A number of hidden slots in the metal surface slid open, and long, metallic barrels poked out of each one.
"Um," started Hawkian.
Explosive shells shot randomly from each barrel on the rattling machine in the general direction of the party. Chunks of tree trunks and branches flew in all directions and the ground shook with each impact. The thieves scattered and ran back into the forest, putting their backs against a different tree every few seconds to stay ahead of the destruction. Davedough bared his teeth and huddled Sumo close, staying low to the ground. La1n put his palms out and detonated a stray shell here and there with flashes of fire, keeping them from reaching the group. Wallach wandered out amidst the chaos and calmly sat, cross-legged, a few feet in front of the bridge.
"What are you doing, you lunatic?!" cried RawPower.
Blasts of metal and fire seemed to rip apart every molecule of space around the Steamwitch. Somehow he remained completely unharmed and unperturbed.
"Okay, I guess he's not going to be much help this time around," muttered Hawkian.
Pau readied a handful of shurikens and tossed them with inerrant accuracy toward the mass of metal. The projectiles bounced harmlessly off its shell.
"I've heard of these things. That's a Clockwork Bomba!" said H. Pro.
"Any weaknesses?" yelled Dave.
"Well, it's a machine. So if we had anyone well-versed in lightning magic..." H. Pro grinned at La1n mischeviously. The black mage rolled his eyes.
"It can't shoot in a full 360 degrees. It rotates. We should spread out," mused Clearacell.
"Got it!" announced Dave, rising to his feet. He nodded at RawPower. "Sumo!"
Davedough extended his finger pointing toward the far right side of the drawbridge. Sumo raced fearlessly out of the forest and cut quickly across the line of fire. The moving target was too appealing for the automaton, which rapidly rotated on its hinges to follow. The machine fired, but the feline proved quite nimble; not a single shell could keep up with the blaze of fur.
Dave raised his great club to his shoulder, aimed for a moment, then heaved it at his metallic enemy. All seemed silent for a few seconds, and a series clangs rang out as the club impacted the extended barrels. Three of the barrels were bent at odd angles as the machine still struggled to track Sumo's dash across the bank of the moat. It seemed to hesitate for a moment, considering this new damage.
Hawkian's expression grew grim. "All of you, stay here and keep them occupied!"
He gestured at Pau, who nodded in response. The two of them rushed out amid the temporary interruption in gunfire and past the dread contraption, slinking into the keep.
The Bomba lost track of Sumo, sputtered and turned back to the group huddled in the forest. Getting over its momentarily lapse in confidence, it fired again from all barrels- and the three struck by Davedough's club exploded violently. The machine was thrown wildly off balance. It twisted and wheezed, attempting to recover.
"Raw, NOW!" screamed Dave.
The mercenary revved his sword a few times, ran out from his spot of safety in the forest and sprang forward over the oblivious Wallach. Holding his weapon high above his head, he swung it downward with the force of an avalanche. The heated blade carved through the Bomba sending sparks in every direction. Metal and flame distended until the sword chopped through the bottom of the contraption's base, finally embedding itself in the wood of the drawbridge.
The knight quickly kicked each half of the now-powerless machine into the moat. After a few seconds, the pieces exploded, muffled by the deep water.
"Nice work for hired muscle," said Davedough, shaking the knight's hand.
"Way to go, Raw!" said H. Pro.
Wallach shook his head as if waking up from a dream and walked back to the forest to join the rest of the group.
"Let's get in there," said RawPower.
Clearacell shook his head. "Hawk said to wait for them out here. I trust those two. Besides, someone's going to be wondering what happened to their big shiny toy out here."
As if on cue, a brigade of soldier, riflemen and halbardiers poured out of the keep onto the drawbridge.
"Now that's more like it," said La1n as three of them spontaneously burst into flame and fell screaming to their knees.
The party emerged from the forest. Dave reclaimed his club, and the keep's guards where thumped, skewered, incinerated and backstabbed relentlessly in the moonlight. There seemed to be no end to these armored pawns, but their bounty of numbers was matched by their lack of skill.
An hour or so passed. The flow of mindless, ineffectual guards lessened and eventually seemed to stop. La1n grew bored and made a small campfire just inside the edge of the forest, which the party gathered around.
Suddenly from near inside the keep there was the sound of a small explosion. A half-minute went by and Hawkian, Pau, and a third figure ran out across the drawbridge and collapsed, exhausted, by the fire.
"We got it," said Hawkian, holding up a small, unassuming black chest. "At least I think this is it. I can't pick the lock. And this is-"
"BEEF?" asked La1n incredulously. "What are you doing here?!"
"You know this guy?" asked H. Pro, regarding the newcomer. He wore crisp blue robes and a matching hat with a single brilliant white feather atop it. Bizarrely, he also wore a blue mask across his eyes. He smiled warmly as one does at the end of a long day.
"From the Mage College..." replied La1n. "One of the weirdest Professors I ever had."
"It's good to see you too. I got caught stealing Chaos Magic from the Third Vicar. Apparently the Empire frowns on this sort of thing..."
"He was in the cell next to the chest. He seemed to know that Lissar would want it, and he had some other interesting info-"
"So what is it? What does it do?" H. Pro asked Professor Beef excitedly.
"Hm? Clearly, it advances the plot in a significant way. Haven't you guys ever done this before?"
The thief pursed her lips and rolled her eyes.
"Let's just get it back to the scholar. She'll know what comes next," said Clearacell. "Hawk said you had information about something else?"
"That's right." Professor Beef inhaled deeply. "I know where Alberto's being held."
----Well then!
I understand if you prefer to wait until I get the stuff up on the site to read it. The forum font isn't exactly ideal for reading prose and I can't even do paragraph indents let alone dropcaps and what have you. Anyway, it's done before I went to bed so I kept my promise
I barely proofread it, so please point out any typos you might see!
If you're really antsy to get your character introduced, please PM me. Otherwise I think I had pretty decent ideas for when certain of us should come to pass through the tale.
- Status