Chuckie
Member
word.
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- Thread starter ShockingAlberto
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GameplayWhore
Member
You're ... doing it wrong?
Or maybe I'm doing it wrong. Or maybe we only have the good succubi here, and the malevolent ones are hanging out in places not near New York.*
Hmm, although the girls in San Fran and Reno and Black Rock and Delaware and Pennsylvania seem pretty enyouthening. Perhaps moving to one of those locations (maybe not Black Rock) would help?
edit: You might have a point if we're talking about Boston. My jury's still out on that area.
* Present lady company excepted, of course. I'm only being 99% sexist here.
.la1n
Member
I'll see how I fare in LA I guess. It couldn't possibly be any worse than Atlanta.
lazybones18
Banned
Awesome
They say he's cheaper to pay, works harder, doesn't play on the internet and is easier on the eyes
Meh... I'm a cat person.
.la1n
Member
Although, that's not to say that I don't have a dog. There is a dog in my household, but I do not claim him as mine. He is my wife's dog.
Bentley.
This is the only shot I actually have of him as he and I have a hate/tolerate relationship.
And speaking of animals I rarely talk about. My wife's cat, Indy is a pain in the ass. And he was not at all amused that I found his hiding place inside my 4 year old's play set.
Bentley.
This is the only shot I actually have of him as he and I have a hate/tolerate relationship.
And speaking of animals I rarely talk about. My wife's cat, Indy is a pain in the ass. And he was not at all amused that I found his hiding place inside my 4 year old's play set.
clearacell
Member
Here is as good a place as any to vent so here I go:
My teeth have been hurting like hell, so I went to the dentist. I have no insurance, so I knew no matter what it was bad news financially, but just how bad I needed to find out. Turns out I'm going to need a root canal (total cost about $1500)...yeah, I can't do that. I asked to just get it pulled out, but he gave me enough reasons to try to save my tooth, so he said he would recommend that he do some work on it to at least to stop the pain. I said aight lets do this...so the lady comes in and talks about the price...$300...fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. But the choice was live in pain or bite the bullet and get that shit done. I now have $8 in the bank And as a part-time working student...welp, I'm now looking for a second job. Luckily I can take solace in that I'm pretty smart so I probably don't have to study as much as I pressure myself to right now, and I do have summer break to catch up on my finances...but right now, looks like it's ramen noodles and tap water for breakfast, lunch, and dinner . I still have more work on my teeth that needs to get done. I wish we had universal healthcare Oh yeah, the anesthesia is wearing off, my tooth hurts like FUCK but the dentist says the pain willl go down in a few days, I should just take aspirin or something for the time being.
So in like 3 days I've found out my cat has AIDS and liver cancer, I'm SOL financially, my teeth still hurt, and most importantly that chick I thought was cute has a fiance Feels bad, man.
My teeth have been hurting like hell, so I went to the dentist. I have no insurance, so I knew no matter what it was bad news financially, but just how bad I needed to find out. Turns out I'm going to need a root canal (total cost about $1500)...yeah, I can't do that. I asked to just get it pulled out, but he gave me enough reasons to try to save my tooth, so he said he would recommend that he do some work on it to at least to stop the pain. I said aight lets do this...so the lady comes in and talks about the price...$300...fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. But the choice was live in pain or bite the bullet and get that shit done. I now have $8 in the bank
And as a part-time working student...welp, I'm now looking for a second job. Luckily I can take solace in that I'm pretty smart so I probably don't have to study as much as I pressure myself to right now, and I do have summer break to catch up on my finances...but right now, looks like it's ramen noodles and tap water for breakfast, lunch, and dinner . I still have more work on my teeth that needs to get done. I wish we had universal healthcare Oh yeah, the anesthesia is wearing off, my tooth hurts like FUCK but the dentist says the pain willl go down in a few days, I should just take aspirin or something for the time being. So in like 3 days I've found out my cat has AIDS and liver cancer, I'm SOL financially, my teeth still hurt, and most importantly that chick I thought was cute has a fiance
Feels bad, man.I honestly dont know how my wife puts up with me... This is an exerpt of the AIM chat log between she and I just a few seconds ago. She's so incredibly patient. This is just a small peek into the hard time I've been giving her.
All she's trying to do is solidify our plans to take the kids to the zoo tomorrow. =)
All she's trying to do is solidify our plans to take the kids to the zoo tomorrow. =)
Dude. I can only hope that good stuff is coming your way shortly. That's a brutal week. Root canal is serious businessHere is as good a place as any to vent so here I go:
My teeth have been hurting like hell, so I went to the dentist. I have no insurance, so I knew no matter what it was bad news financially, but just how bad I needed to find out. Turns out I'm going to need a root canal (total cost about $1500)...yeah, I can't do that. I asked to just get it pulled out, but he gave me enough reasons to try to save my tooth, so he said he would recommend that he do some work on it to at least to stop the pain. I said aight lets do this...so the lady comes in and talks about the price...$300...fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. But the choice was live in pain or bite the bullet and get that shit done. I now have $8 in the bank
So in like 3 days I've found out my cat has AIDS and liver cancer, I'm SOL financially, my teeth still hurt, and most importantly that chick I thought was cute has a fiance
You might be able to get the procedure done much cheaper at another office or a dental school. You're probably gonna have to learn to love advil for a while.Sorry your cute chick was taken, but as least you don't have to worry about buying her dinner and movie tickets while you recoup your finances for a little bit.
Thanks for keeping a level head during our raid on Gei Ming Keep by the way.
Lol... show that post so she at least realizes how much you appreciate her?
GameplayWhore
Member
Bring me back a monkey!
Here is as good a place as any to vent so here I go:
My teeth have been hurting like hell, so I went to the dentist. I have no insurance, so I knew no matter what it was bad news financially, but just how bad I needed to find out. Turns out I'm going to need a root canal (total cost about $1500)...yeah, I can't do that. I asked to just get it pulled out, but he gave me enough reasons to try to save my tooth, so he said he would recommend that he do some work on it to at least to stop the pain. I said aight lets do this...so the lady comes in and talks about the price...$300...fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. But the choice was live in pain or bite the bullet and get that shit done. I now have $8 in the bank
So in like 3 days I've found out my cat has AIDS and liver cancer, I'm SOL financially, my teeth still hurt, and most importantly that chick I thought was cute has a fiance
Sorry to hear the bad news. Only thing you can do really is to keep that head up. Tough times are ahead of you but I know you can endure. You got Gaf behind your back.
GameplayWhore
Member
right now, looks like it's ramen noodles and tap water for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
I can't speak to the rest of your troubles, but if you can save enough money, I recommend getting a huge-ass bulk bottle of multivitamins. You can go a long time on ramen, but only if you're getting the proper nutrients.
I truly hope that your other issues resolve more easily than a first glance would suggest.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Here is as good a place as any to vent so here I go:
My teeth have been hurting like hell, so I went to the dentist. I have no insurance, so I knew no matter what it was bad news financially, but just how bad I needed to find out. Turns out I'm going to need a root canal (total cost about $1500)...yeah, I can't do that. I asked to just get it pulled out, but he gave me enough reasons to try to save my tooth, so he said he would recommend that he do some work on it to at least to stop the pain. I said aight lets do this...so the lady comes in and talks about the price...$300...fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. But the choice was live in pain or bite the bullet and get that shit done. I now have $8 in the bank
So in like 3 days I've found out my cat has AIDS and liver cancer, I'm SOL financially, my teeth still hurt, and most importantly that chick I thought was cute has a fiance
D: Really sorry, Clear. They say bad things happen in threes and then the good rolls in, so hang in there. If the good declines to follow this superstitious rule, then we'll just MAKE it happen the coming week. I promise you that. ^_^
Never let her go. EVER.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
This kind of thing is why my partner puts up with me. I think. She does it back to me, at any rate.
Chuckie
Member
I hope my new story requests weren't unreasonable.
You wanted to slay EviLore and marry queen Lissar?
Nope. Try again. XD
Chuckie
Member
Nah, just wanted to mention the most unreasonable.
I'm not even queen anymore! *thankful*
Finally read the story, Hawk. Nice job! Thinking of an illustration for it but sadly I'll have to wait until after Monday to work on it :<
GameplayWhore
Member
You want to slay Lissar and marry EviLore?
Chuckie
Member
No worries! Take your time. It's so amazing to me, I've never had anything of mine illustrated before :O
I'll of course be including your illustrations (and any Tence does!
) in the nicely-formatted website version of all this. (With credit given, and with your permission only of course)I really wanted to complete Chapter 3, wherein ShockingAlberto is rescued and returns to the party, tonight, but it's been an odd week, and I'm too tired, and quite honestly drunk, to do the coding to get this stuff up on the site tonight, let alone finish this chapter. Tomorrow! But whatever, here's the first half of it!
Chapter 3 - Bonds of Fire (Part 1)
High atop the tallest peak of the Offtopica mountains, well above the cloudline, a monk stood on one foot, arched his back, and stretched his other leg vertically toward the heavens. Stretched across his back was a study bo-staff made of oak. His eyes were closed as if in deep meditation, and he remained inhumanly still despite the thin air and harsh conditions.
"LazyBones!" A voice rang out from hundreds of feet below. "Get down here! I believe I've found a legitimate challenge for you."
The monk's eyes opened suddenly. With less than a second's hesitation, he leapt down from his high perch and somersaulted through the air, disappearing beneath the clouds.
Meanwhile, in the forests on the outskirts of Gei Ming Keep, the group of adventurers sat around a bonfire in solemn contemplation.
"How can you be sure?" asked Clearacell.
"I'm sure," said Beef. "Besides, do you think I would have revealed such interesting information if it wasn't going to pay off?"
"But how-" started Hawkian.
"When the Vicar's guards caught me, they mentioned that they wouldn't put me where they ordinarily would. That a certain 'shocking' individual would be occupying the space. They needed me put elsewhere, and brought me to this keep, even though it's rarely used to house prisoners with magical ability. I wonder why..." Beef glanced over his shoulder at the still-smoldering entryway to the keep.
"Supposing we believe you," said H. Pro. "How far away are we from this place?"
"About a day's travel. And we won't be making many friends along the way."
"You mean-"
"It's straight across Gei Ming territory. That's where Alberto got himself caught in the first place."
Hawkian held aloft the spoils of their mission, the dark, locked chest. "We need to get this back to Lissar. We can go dashing off across the Empire's lands just because this blue mage thinks he knows where-"
"Hawk." Clearacell place a hand on the other thief's shoulder. "It's Alberto. None of us would even be here having this conversation if not for him."
"Y- yeah. You're right." Hawkian replaced the lockbox in his satchel. He turned his gaze to Professor Beef. "We trust you for now out of desperation. Get us to Alberto and you'll earn that trust in word and deed."
Professor Beef nodded happily.
"So, Professor, how do we make our way across enemy territory without being spotted? Surely the Gei Ming side will be a bit unhappy about the embarrasment at their keep. And this band isn't exactly tough to spot," said RawPower.
"I figure we can all just go into Hawkian. We'll all just walk into Hawkian, and then he'll walk around, and it'll look like he's the only one walking around, but really we'll all be in there," answered Beef.
"Right, but really how?" asked Dave, holding Sumo by the scruff of his neck as the feline looked about ready to lunge and rip the newcomer's throat out.
"A cloak and muffle spell I picked up when a couple of Nightfangs had the misfortune of wandering onto the grounds of the Mage College. It'll make the lot of us look like nothing more than a stiff breeze to all but the most skilled workers of magic."
Pau sighed, pondered for a moment and nodded.
"Fine," said La1n. "But the moment we smell anything fishy, Beef, you're well-done."
The rest of the party stared at the black mage blankly.
"Okay, that was regrettable."
"Let's head out," said Clearacell.
Professor Beef cast his cloaking spell, and the group of travelers ventured deep into the forest parallel to the keep. They kept up a brisk pace, racing against the dawn. After a few hours the trees grew thinner, the soil more compact. The wanderers found themselves exerting more energy with every step. Soon, despite the ever-lush trees and spiraling roots, it seemed they were walking on hard, packed gravel.
Hawkian felt a rumble beneath his toes. He paused and put his ear to the ground. The rumbling grew louder. Small pebbles and stones began to shake and jump from the surface. "Hey, guys-"
With a sound like a gust of hurricane-force wind, an enormous, shifting shape erupted out of the ground, knocking Hawkian on his back. Then, as quickly as it had emerged, it dove back into the hard ground as if diving into a placid lake.
"SANDWRAITHS!" cried La1n, backing up rapidly with his eyes fixed on the ground.
Three of the monstrous, silty abominations rocketed from the ground. Huge clumps of sand shifted and hardened in midair, threatening and scattering the group. They briefly formed into the shape of humanoids with long, bladed arms before disintegrating again and sinking back into the earth, again, hunting.
"Why can they see through our cloak?!" Hawkian yelled at Beef.
"That doesn't really seem like our most pressing concern right now, does it?"
"HELP ME!" screamed Dave. The three sandwraiths had erupted again and surrounded him and his cat. They swirled around him, forming grotesque shapes and coalescing into their dread human forms. Each raised a sharped, sand-sculpted blade as if to all at once carve the beastmaster into thirds. Sumo growled and crouched menacingly in front of his master, ready to fight but unsure of what his prey could possibly be.
Dave swung his mighty club into the "torso" of one of the wraiths. Its form exploded into a cloud of sand, but quickly reformed and swirled about him, clogging his ears and blinding his eyes. He dropped his club and the other two malevolent figures continued to close in on him. His companions could only look on in horror.
THWIPTHWIPTHWIP!
Three gleaming steel arrows careened through the air with astounding velocity. Each one struck the "skull" of a sandwraith and pierced through to the other side, the third one connecting just as the one Dave had clubbed reformed its vile imitation of a head. Each one collapsing immediately into a pile of violent, swirling sand on the ground, pulsating and contracting as if wrestling with some unseen force.
A green-cloaked ranger emerged with his bow drawn from between two tall elms. He slung his weapon across his back and placed his hands to the ground. His fingertips seemed to do more than merely touch the soil; they seemed to plug into the framework of the earth, his body functioning as a conduit to the living aura of the forest. He began to whispher unintelligibly with his hood drawn, and a pale golden outline began to shine around him.
The three massive clouds of sand were drawn toward his fingers as if caught in a vacuum. They began to swirl and coalesce in front of him into a thin funnel. He continued to whisper and chant and the funnel grew taller and thinner still, as if it had become an impossibly dense tornado. When the mass of sand seemed like it could grow no more tightly packed, the ranger threw his hands up into the air. The sandwraith-funnel cloud shot skyward and, miles above the forest, exploded with an unmistakable ripping sound.
Dave and Sumo hesitated for a moment, then tackled the ranger to the ground in a tag-team bear hug. "ZeroRay! If you aren't a sight for sore eyes..."
"Those disgusting spirits have been disturbing my woods for too long now," the ranger said absentmindedly.
"Tell me, Zero," began Hawkian. "How'd you like to help us rescue a friend?"
----Professor Beef
Banned
I can't believe you guys don't trust me. Just how suspicious do I look??
clearacell
Member
Well according to your lissar-pic you look like lando calrissian...he shouldn't have been trusted at first as well.
Professor Beef
Banned
If you can't trust a mage who was locked up in a prison and all of a sudden tells you where to go next, then I just don't even know anymore.
It's the facial hair.
Anyways, just read the three chapters Hawkian. Loving them so far! Can't believe I didn't get the Gei Ming joke until like the fourth mention.
Professor Beef
Banned
Just because I'm wearing a mask, and have slightly evil-looking facial hair, and was in jail, doesn't mean I can't be trusted.
Some people...
Some people...
lazybones18
Banned
We must have a drawing of a Sandwraith
Can't wait for the second half
Can't wait for the second half
I mean, you are a Professor. How could you not trust someone with such a profession?
.la1n
Member
The fact that I even woke up this early is reason enough for me to be in a bad mood. It is a nice day out, suppose I could...exercise or something. Excellent chapter Hawk, keep up the fantastic work
The fact that I even woke up this early is reason enough for me to be in a bad mood. It is a nice day out, suppose I could...exercise or something. Excellent chapter Hawk, keep up the fantastic work
I'd prefer not to drag my own personal shit in here, so check my latest FB status if you want to know what I'm pissed about.
:O Mind blown. Sorry, will fix! Were there any other mentions of him as her so far?
GameplayWhore
Member
Me too. Irritable and too lazy to leave bed. My solution will be to get some exercise, do a little bit of shopping, then have some people over and play "Time Warp" at 1:58am.
Dude. DUDE!
That's exactly how I imagined a Tence-ified version of one would look in my head. It's tough to describe how surreal it feels seeing these illustrations. It's like, I was just writing down words... and there they are!
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