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Relationship Road - The First, The Finest, The Foul + Debauchery Den (NSFW)

Relationships are the absolute core of our society and existence, without them our lives would be extremely unfamiliar and disorganised. From the beginning of time cavemen and women have learned to communicate in order to understand one another, socialise and enjoy each other's company, but also procreate and build families to carry on the human race as we know it. Unlike those times however where men were more in touch with their carnal tendencies and simply took women without small talk, we've progressed as a species and have learned to understand one another through advanced verbal communication, visual observation and physical actions. Our relationships are more multifaceted and complex, bringing with them additional variables and baggage to contend with. One aspect that hasn't changed and makes us all too similar to our caveman ancestors are those physical attractions and intimacies, with them making up a huge aspect of today's relationships and social expectancies. We see a beautiful classmate in high school and immediately want to approach her to make her ours, or perhaps head out on the town for the purpose of having as much sex or scoring as many numbers as possible than our mates. Relationships are common and widespread, especially in today's climate where the single life is looked down upon with disdain and repulsion. So let us celebrate and reminisce those past romances and unions, let's share those uplifting tales of pure love and affection, but also sexual hedonism and deviousness, let's take a walk down Relationship Road by way of Debauchery Den...

CHOOSE ONE OR BOTH OF THE FOLLOWING:

Relationship Road:

  • The First: Childhood sweethearts and young love.
  • The Finest: Enduring relationships and marriages.
  • The Foul: Miserable unions with or without abuse.
Debauchery Den:

CHOOSE UP TO THREE FROM THE FOLLOWING OR ADD YOUR OWN:

  • Prostitution/escort.
  • No strings attached.
  • Open relationships.
  • One night stands.
  • Swinger relations.
  • Dick drainers.
And so on...

Mine:
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Unlike my previous threads where I share my own selections in the opening post I'm doing things differently this time. I'm refraining as I'm a private individual and out of respect to those women in my life, all two of them who aren't imaginary.
 
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Fuck me. What next? 12 ways to tell he's into you. We used to have threads about hot chicks and guns and tits. Now it's this Cosmo shit.
We still have those threads you fool and what's with this stupid "cosmo shit" terminology? This thread is basically the electronic version of a couple dudes bragging out their sex lives and past romances over a couple of beers on the weekend.
Why would anybody lie about their past relationships, what point would they have to prove? Just be honest Feynoob, nobody dated your behind and now you want to bury this thread because it's a harsh reminder.
This feels a lot like homework.
Woah woah woah Grildon, humble brag much? All you have to do is write "my sister" for all the options and be done with it.
I feel like this thread is a poorly veiled attempt by an AI to write the next Judd Apatow romcom script.
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