Collete
Member
Wow...
And I thought my ex-roommate was bad, damn...
Glad you didn't get hurt and survived that.
Roommate horror stories; first or secondhand
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Wow...
And I thought my ex-roommate was bad, damn...
Glad you didn't get hurt and survived that.
ScreenSplitter
Member
You guys make me feel so much better about my roommate stories. Like I am glad mine are so woefully inadequate by comparison. Drug raids are nothing compared to dead babies and rotten chicken shit attack.
Yeah, I just had to live with a balding smelly weird guy, not a crackwhore turning tricks.
Huevos de Oro
Member
That story about the bags of shit.
It's like the stories are one-upping themselves. D:
It's like the stories are one-upping themselves. D:
ScreenSplitter
Member
I forgot about all the prostitute stories... yeah I live with five guys so it's pretty much just a bit of a mess, that's all.
Featheredkitten
Banned
I roomed with my best friend (former now) a few years ago. She was supposed to pay half the utilities but never did. We were supposed to share the cleaning duties but of course that never happened. I did see her clean the toilet, and bath tub with one of those blue circle things you put in the top tank. Just sitting there with the toilet lid off sticking the wand thing in the top and swirling it all around. Bizarre.
She also stole my debit card, changed my pin, and stole about $3000 dollars from me. Kicked her ass straight to the curb after i found out. She claimed i was out to get her because my boyfriend moved in.
She's fat now. Really really fat. hahaha
She also stole my debit card, changed my pin, and stole about $3000 dollars from me. Kicked her ass straight to the curb after i found out. She claimed i was out to get her because my boyfriend moved in.
She's fat now. Really really fat. hahaha
cheststrongwell
my cake, fuck off
It was surreal. About 5 days later, I came home on my lunch hour and found her trying to cut the A/C unit power line(while it was running,with a pair of those black handled all metal scissors). I asked her what the fuck she was doing, and she turned around and stared at me with completely dead eyes. I went inside and called the police. I looked out my window while on the phone and she was just standing in the driveway. The police came and questioned her. I didn't press charges(stupid). She was totally shocked that I called the police. Anyway, I haven't seen her since. I had a few nightmares that she was standing over my bed with a knife though. Scary shit.
Devolution
Member
Hell yeah.
CrunchyFrog
Member
Had a roommate come back in the middle of the night to have fairly loud sex with a random chick in his bed not but 6 feet from mine. *shrug* next to then at least having the courtesy of putting an orange bandana on the doorknob to sexcile me until 2 in the morning.
but damn, some of you have been through some fucked up shit. The worst I ever heard was just piss in the middle of the carpet
but damn, some of you have been through some fucked up shit. The worst I ever heard was just piss in the middle of the carpet
My reaction to this is my avatar
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I don't have any real big horror stories. I moved in with someone I was kinda friends with, and we lived together for about 6 years, with no big problems. We got a long pretty well. He would have some parties, but I would usually go out and mingle. If I had to sleep that night, they would keep it lower. His girlfriends were a bit crazy though. One was annoying and always hung out with 18 year olds and douchebags. She also insisted on having this big fish tank, when our apartment didn't allow pets. She did however clean weekly though, so not a bad tradeoff. His other one was a crack addict, who was trying to kick the habit. It wasn't going well and she duped a friend and me to take her to her dealers house saying its where some of here meetings were. (it was right next to a church, and she had us take her to the church) I swear she stole some of my movies though. Strange thing was they were movies that make no sense to steal like surf ninjas and the hobbit animated movie (still pissed about that one)
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I don't have any real big horror stories. I moved in with someone I was kinda friends with, and we lived together for about 6 years, with no big problems. We got a long pretty well. He would have some parties, but I would usually go out and mingle. If I had to sleep that night, they would keep it lower. His girlfriends were a bit crazy though. One was annoying and always hung out with 18 year olds and douchebags. She also insisted on having this big fish tank, when our apartment didn't allow pets. She did however clean weekly though, so not a bad tradeoff. His other one was a crack addict, who was trying to kick the habit. It wasn't going well and she duped a friend and me to take her to her dealers house saying its where some of here meetings were. (it was right next to a church, and she had us take her to the church) I swear she stole some of my movies though. Strange thing was they were movies that make no sense to steal like surf ninjas and the hobbit animated movie (still pissed about that one)
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Oh have I got roommate stories. I had two roommates with the same name. We will call the Mals: Young Mal and Old Mal. To start things off, here's the story of Young Mal as he crossed the boundary into the age of 21, a day he shall remember (or not) for booze, food, vomit, and Lord of the Rings. I'm just going to quote what I've written up in the past about it.
tl;dr: Horribly lightweight friend, over the course of 18 hours, drinks 3 bottles of wine, 11 dark and heavy beers, eats 3 full pizzas and a full mexican dinner secretly laced with habenero sauce. Projectile vomits orange vomit all over the bar door, sidewalk, and parking lot, then attempts to streak out into the highway. Also, Mudkips and Lord of the Rings.
tl;dr: Horribly lightweight friend, over the course of 18 hours, drinks 3 bottles of wine, 11 dark and heavy beers, eats 3 full pizzas and a full mexican dinner secretly laced with habenero sauce. Projectile vomits orange vomit all over the bar door, sidewalk, and parking lot, then attempts to streak out into the highway. Also, Mudkips and Lord of the Rings.
faceless007
Member
Not my story but a friend's: He needed a roommate quickly, so he took the first guy who answered the ad, a guy named Kyle. He seemed like an OK dude at first, but he was a druggie and they began to suspect he was a dealer on the side as well. Almost everyone who visited the apartment, upon meeting him, would go "Does he remind you of Jesse from Breaking Bad?" (this was back in season 1 when Jesse was kind of an idiot). He smelled terrible, and when my friend was at work, he would go on my friend's computer (without permission) to look at porn, not even bothering to close the pages when he was done. He also started to get late on his rent.
None of which is all that terrible, until someone tried to break into the apartment. Turns out he'd gotten in bad with someone and they came to collect. Luckily someone was home so they just ran off when they saw the place wasn't empty. So my friend and the other roommate kicked him out and moved out right after, since the management company didn't seem to give a shit someone had tried to break in, even in a gated community.
None of which is all that terrible, until someone tried to break into the apartment. Turns out he'd gotten in bad with someone and they came to collect. Luckily someone was home so they just ran off when they saw the place wasn't empty. So my friend and the other roommate kicked him out and moved out right after, since the management company didn't seem to give a shit someone had tried to break in, even in a gated community.
And now for a story about Old Mal, though Young Mal is also very much involved.
We were all in the final year of college and were soon going to be leaving our apartment. Young Mal needed to actually leave a semester early, as all he had left before graduation was an internship in another state. This meant he needed to sublease or face paying for a place he wasn't going to be using ever again. After
Now, the thing about Old Mal is that he fancied himself a bar tender. He rarely actually drank on his own, but he wanted to make sure that he was able to make whatever drinks the few friends he had over on a regular basis wanted. Because of this, he spent a large amount of money collecting a massive liquor collection that would rival most bars. And the even more impressive thing was that this collection wasn't just bottom shelf Aristocrat and Burnnet's shit. He actually shelled out for a lot of mid-ranged liquor, and even occasionally went for top shelf stuff. This collection was so large that, even when placed into multiple rows, it still covered most of our kitchen counter. To accompany this impressive assortment of booze, Old Mal also lined the top of our cupboards with empty liquor and beer bottles. Again, these were placed into rows, and still managed to go across the whole kitchen.
It was kind of a regular problem that people coming to the apartment for the first time would see the liquor collection as soon as they walked in and think that we all had an alcohol problem. Since this was a college town, that usually meant that those people were generally chill college students that accepted the quick explanation that Old Mal was an amateur bar tender and the rest of us never touched his stuff.
Problem is that Young Mal knew that this might not work for a potential subleaser coming from out of town or, worse, their parents. And from what he gathered from talking to the first major potential subleaser, some parents are really sensitive to the idea of their child being around a bunch of corrupting party animals, and this guy's parents were among that mindset. Because of this, when the potential subleaser and his family arranged for a visitation, he requested that Old Mal and I hide our alcohol in order to make them think that we were a bunch of quiet students that never partied (truth was that we were generally quiet, but occasionally threw parties).
I grabbed the few bottles I kept in the fridge and hid them in my bathroom, and left for the evening while I expected Old Mal to do the same.
A few hours passed, and I get a call from an enraged Young Mal, who demanded that I return home immediately to see what had just happened at the visitation. I eventually made my way back and immediately broke into laughter when I saw what had caused the commotion.
You see, the family had arrived and was making their way through the house. Old Mal had indeed moved all of his liquor and empties, making the kitchen look quite respectable. As we had been making an effort to keep a decent household, the guy and his parents were almost sold on the spot. As the tour winded down, the family walked back towards the kitchen (which is the entrance of the apartment unit), to discuss further details with Young Mal. At this point, the inquisitive mother noticed a door to her side (our pantry) and wanted to see what was inside. Upon opening it, she was treated to a massive curtain of paper towels covering some of the shelves, and a bunch of food thrown on the pantry floor. She moved the paper towel curtain to the side and discovered thousands of dollars worth of liquor staring right back at her.
Apparently she had gave a single motion to her husband, who saw the state of our pantry, and their attitude immediately changed to disinterest in our apartment. Before their son was able to really say much, they politely excused themselves and quickly left.
After Young Mal finished explaining what had happened, and I had finished laughing at the privacy curtain of paper towels, Old Mal arrived, only to laugh as well at a furious Young Mal.
As an afterwards, Young Mal was probably angrier when he discovered that Old Mal had stashed all the empties in Young Mal's shower.
We were all in the final year of college and were soon going to be leaving our apartment. Young Mal needed to actually leave a semester early, as all he had left before graduation was an internship in another state. This meant he needed to sublease or face paying for a place he wasn't going to be using ever again. After
Now, the thing about Old Mal is that he fancied himself a bar tender. He rarely actually drank on his own, but he wanted to make sure that he was able to make whatever drinks the few friends he had over on a regular basis wanted. Because of this, he spent a large amount of money collecting a massive liquor collection that would rival most bars. And the even more impressive thing was that this collection wasn't just bottom shelf Aristocrat and Burnnet's shit. He actually shelled out for a lot of mid-ranged liquor, and even occasionally went for top shelf stuff. This collection was so large that, even when placed into multiple rows, it still covered most of our kitchen counter. To accompany this impressive assortment of booze, Old Mal also lined the top of our cupboards with empty liquor and beer bottles. Again, these were placed into rows, and still managed to go across the whole kitchen.
It was kind of a regular problem that people coming to the apartment for the first time would see the liquor collection as soon as they walked in and think that we all had an alcohol problem. Since this was a college town, that usually meant that those people were generally chill college students that accepted the quick explanation that Old Mal was an amateur bar tender and the rest of us never touched his stuff.
Problem is that Young Mal knew that this might not work for a potential subleaser coming from out of town or, worse, their parents. And from what he gathered from talking to the first major potential subleaser, some parents are really sensitive to the idea of their child being around a bunch of corrupting party animals, and this guy's parents were among that mindset. Because of this, when the potential subleaser and his family arranged for a visitation, he requested that Old Mal and I hide our alcohol in order to make them think that we were a bunch of quiet students that never partied (truth was that we were generally quiet, but occasionally threw parties).
I grabbed the few bottles I kept in the fridge and hid them in my bathroom, and left for the evening while I expected Old Mal to do the same.
A few hours passed, and I get a call from an enraged Young Mal, who demanded that I return home immediately to see what had just happened at the visitation. I eventually made my way back and immediately broke into laughter when I saw what had caused the commotion.
You see, the family had arrived and was making their way through the house. Old Mal had indeed moved all of his liquor and empties, making the kitchen look quite respectable. As we had been making an effort to keep a decent household, the guy and his parents were almost sold on the spot. As the tour winded down, the family walked back towards the kitchen (which is the entrance of the apartment unit), to discuss further details with Young Mal. At this point, the inquisitive mother noticed a door to her side (our pantry) and wanted to see what was inside. Upon opening it, she was treated to a massive curtain of paper towels covering some of the shelves, and a bunch of food thrown on the pantry floor. She moved the paper towel curtain to the side and discovered thousands of dollars worth of liquor staring right back at her.
Apparently she had gave a single motion to her husband, who saw the state of our pantry, and their attitude immediately changed to disinterest in our apartment. Before their son was able to really say much, they politely excused themselves and quickly left.
After Young Mal finished explaining what had happened, and I had finished laughing at the privacy curtain of paper towels, Old Mal arrived, only to laugh as well at a furious Young Mal.
As an afterwards, Young Mal was probably angrier when he discovered that Old Mal had stashed all the empties in Young Mal's shower.
Ciastek3214
Junior Member
This is a story I read from a poster on forum I was on before GAF.
He had 2 roommates. They all used to play a game that was about one guy hiding his feces somewhere and leaving it for others to find. The person who managed to hide it for the longest, won. The record for this was a week, it was set right before one of them got kicked out, and here's why.
So it was his roommate's turn. He hid his shit somewhere and told them to look for it. They couldn't find it for 3 days. They figured it would be dry already so they slowed their searchings a little. After 4 days of mystery, one of them went to the kitchen, and took butter from the fridge, he took some bread, and a knife to butter it. So he takes a knife, slices off some butter with it, and the sudden discovery made him throw up in terror.
Because there was shit in the butter they were eating for nearly a week.
He had 2 roommates. They all used to play a game that was about one guy hiding his feces somewhere and leaving it for others to find. The person who managed to hide it for the longest, won. The record for this was a week, it was set right before one of them got kicked out, and here's why.
So it was his roommate's turn. He hid his shit somewhere and told them to look for it. They couldn't find it for 3 days. They figured it would be dry already so they slowed their searchings a little. After 4 days of mystery, one of them went to the kitchen, and took butter from the fridge, he took some bread, and a knife to butter it. So he takes a knife, slices off some butter with it, and the sudden discovery made him throw up in terror.
Because there was shit in the butter they were eating for nearly a week.
Fusion Pizza
Member
Shared a bathroom, he must have shaved his entire body daily because he would keep clogging the fucking shower drain with his nasty ass pubes and never clean it up.
I confronted him about it multiple times but he still never did anything. It eventually got to the point where our shower would not drain at all so finally i just dumped a whole thing of drain-o down that bitch and it cleared right up.
He then came up to me afterwards and said "Oh! You unclogged the drain! I was gonna wait and see which one of us cracked first! Haha!"
He then proceeded to clog the drain for the remainder of the year.
I confronted him about it multiple times but he still never did anything. It eventually got to the point where our shower would not drain at all so finally i just dumped a whole thing of drain-o down that bitch and it cleared right up.
He then came up to me afterwards and said "Oh! You unclogged the drain! I was gonna wait and see which one of us cracked first! Haha!"
He then proceeded to clog the drain for the remainder of the year.
From another thread:
I had a roommate recently who was pretty disgusting. The worst thing was when we ran out of toilet paper and I had to go to his bathroom to look for some. I open the cabinet beneath the sink, hoping he's hoarded some. I see a bag of paper towels. They'll have to do, I think.
As my hand breaches the bag and brushes against some of the towels, I notice they are also covered with thick brown stains. Then the smell hit me.
tldr; My roommate wiped his ass with paper towels and hid them under the sink.
I had a roommate recently who was pretty disgusting. The worst thing was when we ran out of toilet paper and I had to go to his bathroom to look for some. I open the cabinet beneath the sink, hoping he's hoarded some. I see a bag of paper towels. They'll have to do, I think.
As my hand breaches the bag and brushes against some of the towels, I notice they are also covered with thick brown stains. Then the smell hit me.
tldr; My roommate wiped his ass with paper towels and hid them under the sink.
holy shit
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