Rottenwatch: TRANSFORMERS Revenge of the Fallen

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Weren't you supposed to be busy being wrong somewhere else?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/jul/05/johnny-depp-megan-fox

Trash has been on reviewing duties for the past few weeks but I couldn't let this little gem go unearthed for you. Talking to Megan Fox who was in town for the Transformers 2 premiere, I found her more forthright and intelligent than her performance in the mega-hit would suggest. The role demands that she drapes herself over motorbikes and runs around in a vest. How did she get the part which has made her what lads' mags call the "hottest girl on the planet". She told me she went to director Michael Bay's house to audition and he made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed her. She said she didn't know what had happened to that footage. When I put it to Bay himself, he looked suitably abashed. "Er, I don't know where it is either."
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Fafalada said:
These robots travel through vaccum at absolute 0 temp without so much as blinking an eye and the movie expects us to believe that temperatures some 200 degrees higher somehow stop them.
Yea, no. He either froze/stasised himself on purpose, or the plot of the first movie is even more idiotic then I thought.
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Tv Tropes has the answer for this
 
syllogism said:
Looks like TF2 will not make it to $400m. Not guaranteed, but slightly more likely than it making at this point.
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It's the 2nd fastest to $300M. It's gonna make $400. It's only been 2 weeks.
 
Superman00 said:
It's the 2nd fastest to $300M. It's gonna make $400. It's only been 2 weeks.
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:D

I can see people praying for this to bomb. Too late! Certified success. The movie was great, i loved it. One of the most fun films this year.
 
Prine said:
:D

I can see people praying for this to bomb. Too late! Certified success. The movie was great, i loved it. One of the most fun films this year.
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If this had to be a bomb, the first one had to be on the same level as this one. :D
 
Trash has been on reviewing duties for the past few weeks but I couldn't let this little gem go unearthed for you. Talking to Megan Fox who was in town for the Transformers 2 premiere, I found her more forthright and intelligent than her performance in the mega-hit would suggest. The role demands that she drapes herself over motorbikes and runs around in a vest. How did she get the part which has made her what lads' mags call the "hottest girl on the planet". She told me she went to director Michael Bay's house to audition and he made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed her. She said she didn't know what had happened to that footage. When I put it to Bay himself, he looked suitably abashed. "Er, I don't know where it is either."
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2cf3yo9.png
 
irfan said:
TDK was the fastest to $500M too, did it break $600M? Legs.
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Your comparison makes no sense. TDK was out for 45 days before it reach $500M. While TF2 is out for 14 days and it reach $300M. By next Monday, TF2 is already gonna be in the $340-350M range.
 
Transformers Revenge of the fallen is a piece of puked up, raped sh!t.

Ill break it down: Boom! Boom! Megan Fox's Tits and Ass, Retarded Story line, Boom! Yeeey!, Robot Heaven, America F*ck Yeah! At least Megan Fox is Hot and the CGI is good. But I could see Hot women on the internet and the action i could have gotten it from a game or a better f*cking movie. Jesus didint die for this shit.

Oh my god, I could understand if the movie was made to distract retarded people with explosions but man oh man...

I know its "Transformers". LOL if you expected some stroyline but my god someone just cummed all over my nostalgia.
 
Otrebor Nightmarecoat said:
Transformers Revenge of the fallen is a piece of puked up, raped sh!t.

Ill break it down: Boom! Boom! Megan Fox's Tits and Ass, Retarded Story line, Boom! Yeeey!, Robot Heaven, America F*ck Yeah! At least Megan Fox is Hot and the CGI is good. But I could see Hot women on the internet and the action i could have gotten it from a game or a better f*cking movie. Jesus didint die for this shit.

Oh my god, I could understand if the movie was made to distract retarded people with explosions but man oh man...

I know its "Transformers". LOL if you expected some stroyline but my god someone just cummed all over my nostalgia.
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:lol :lol :lol

Well, my impression of the movie, wasn't nearly as bad. I thought it was fair, maybe mediocre. The first half was absolutely terrible. The second half had some nice action and CG that kept me interested enough. This one kind of lost its charm. The first was so much more compelling. I couldn't give a fuck what the characters were doing or what happened to them. Not good.

Around a 5 maybe 6-ish out of 10, for me.
 
Superman00 said:
It's the 2nd fastest to $300M. It's gonna make $400. It's only been 2 weeks.
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Great analysis there, just do the math. It has to drop less than ~45% on average to hit $400m. Doable, but far from guaranteed. If it drops more than TF1 on average, it will not make it.
 
Holy crap at Bay's paycheck:

The relationship between Dreamworks/Paramount, Hasbro and Michael Bay is oddly incestuous when it comes to money. Dreamworks/Paramount, of course, have to pay Hasbro a license fee to use the Transformers brand and characters in the first place, but in turn, Hasbro has to give up money on movie-related merchandise; many people have already made a big deal out of Bay's profit-sharing on the Transformers movies - He'll make way more than his $75 million share from the profits of the $708 million-grossing first movie on Fallen - but he also makes an estimated 8% of the profit of every movie-related toy released, as well.

Considering that Bay is heading towards a payday of somewhere in the region of (and this is more than a little conservative) at least $150 million in addition to his actual fee for directing Revenge of The Fallen, two things become clear - Firstly, that Bayhem is an extremely lucrative career, and secondly, that - desire to do something smaller or not - there's almost no way that Bay will be able to refuse the lure of a similar pay day with a third installment.
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Saw the movie: much (much) worse than no. 1* and a complete waste of all the new (and most of the old) robots - characters from the first film not named Optimus, Megatron, Soundwave or Starscream got a single line, if that. Bleagh. I still like Shia though.

*To quote someone from IMDB, like driving at 100 m.p.h. and crashing into EVERYTHING and not being able to die.
 
Superman00 said:
Your comparison makes no sense. TDK was out for 45 days before it reach $500M. While TF2 is out for 14 days and it reach $300M. By next Monday, TF2 is already gonna be in the $340-350M range.
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You missed the point entirely. Fastest to x does not guarantee y. Legs.

syllogism said:
Great analysis there, just do the math. It has to drop less than ~45% on average to hit $400m. Doable, but far from guaranteed. If it drops more than TF1 on average, it will not make it.
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And we have Bruno and Hairy Potty coming up, its tough.

luxarific said:
Holy crap at Bay's paycheck:

http://io9.com/5310350/the-incestuous-payday-behind-transformers

Saw the movie: much (much) worse than no. 1* and a complete waste of all the new (and most of the old) robots - characters from the first film not named Optimus, Megatron, Soundwave or Starscream got a single line, if that. Bleagh. I still like Shia though.

*To quote someone from IMDB, like driving at 100 m.p.h. and crashing into EVERYTHING and not being able to die.
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Is that the highest paycheck in Hollywood so far? o_O

And yeah how can this be worse than the first? Its basically
not
the same movie. :lol
 
Warm Machine said:
That is going way too far. The MKA is close to the worst movie of all time and certainly the worst movie I have ever seen in the theater along with Spawn and The Black Mask.

On visuals alone TF2 is a better movie, let alone actors who actually believe the situation they are in, and direction (like it or hate it). MKA has no redeeming qualities.
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Staring at paint drying for 2 and half hours would be more stimulating visuals to myself over seeing that horrid piece of shit ever again.
 
Holy shit, saw this yesterday. First 40 minutes are made of epic multi-transformer orchestrated brawling win. I seriously thought GAF was full of shit for 40 minutes straight.

Enter grandpa Blackbird-robot and Egyptian treasure hunt.

w
t
f
 
irfan said:
Is that the highest paycheck in Hollywood so far? o_O

And yeah how can this be worse than the first? Its basically
not
the same movie. :lol
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The first movie was not the most logical thing I've ever seen, but at least it retained a sense of wonder about the robots (which, ostensibly, is what the films are supposed to be about in the first place). It wasn't that there were too few robots in the 2nd installment, it's that we barely got a chance to see them as individuals (except for the lucky few I listed previously and a few of the new ones, like Jetfire - the less said about the waste of digital fx that were the Twins, the better). And I know it's supposed to be a dumb summer blockbuster and I can live with that, but a little respect for the audience wouldn't hurt (mountains and deserts bordering the DC Mall? Really? The giant robots were more believable).

Shiny is nice, but shiny with some substance is even better.
 
luxarific said:
The first movie was not the most logical thing I've ever seen, but at least it retained a sense of wonder about the robots (which, ostensibly, is what the films are supposed to be about in the first place). It wasn't that there were too few robots in the 2nd installment, it's that we barely got a chance to see them as individuals (except for the lucky few I listed previously and a few of the new ones, like Jetfire - the less said about the waste of digital fx that were the Twins, the better). And I know it's supposed to be a dumb summer blockbuster and I can live with that, but a little respect for the audience wouldn't hurt (mountains and deserts bordering the DC Mall? Really? The giant robots were more believable).

Shiny is nice, but shiny with some substance is even better.
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I agree with you, on all points. I was just sarcastic at the notion that both movies are on the same level. Anyone who disagrees is asking for a smack down from Ebert. :lol
 
luxarific said:
The first movie was not the most logical thing I've ever seen, but at least it retained a sense of wonder about the robots (which, ostensibly, is what the films are supposed to be about in the first place). It wasn't that there were too few robots in the 2nd installment, it's that we barely got a chance to see them as individuals (except for the lucky few I listed previously and a few of the new ones, like Jetfire - the less said about the waste of digital fx that were the Twins, the better). And I know it's supposed to be a dumb summer blockbuster and I can live with that, but a little respect for the audience wouldn't hurt (mountains and deserts bordering the DC Mall? Really? The giant robots were more believable).

Shiny is nice, but shiny with some substance is even better.
Click to expand...

When were there mountains and desert bordering DC? I don't remember this. The only jarring transition I remember was the rather quick trip between that factory where the Decepticons had Sam and the forest where that battle (and by extension the best part of the movie) occurred.

I agree with most of your points beyond that, though still found the movie enjoyable for what it was.
 
ultron87 said:
When were there mountains and desert bordering DC? I don't remember this. The only jarring transition I remember was the rather quick trip between that factory where the Decepticons had Sam and the forest where that battle (and by extension the best part of the movie) occurred.

I agree with most of your points beyond that, though still found the movie enjoyable for what it was.
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It's when Jetfire blows out the wall of the Air & Space museum - the humans follow him outside to the plane graveyard (in a desert-like plain). You can clearly see mountains on the horizon (I think it's the Rincon range in Arizona, given the location of the Tucson graveyard where they filmed that sequence). I saw this movie in Alexandria, right outside DC, and the audience laughed when they saw the mountains. Sort of like that Georgetown Metro scene in No Way Out or Robert Redford driving into DC to get to the CIA (in Langley, VA) in Spy Game.

(That graveyard is so cool. Your tax dollars at work!)
 
omg rite said:
:lol

Oh, critics. It's like watching PS3 fans look at sales charts.
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Selective quoting for the win?

So let's focus on those who seriously believe "Transformers" is one of the year's best films. Are these people wrong? Yes. They are wrong. I am fond of the story I tell about Gene Siskel. When a so-called film critic defended a questionable review by saying, "after all, it's opinion," Gene told him: "There is a point when a personal opinion shades off into an error of fact. When you say 'The Valachi Papers' is a better film than 'The Godfather,' you are wrong." Quite true. We should respect differing opinions up to certain point, and then it's time for the wise to blow the whistle. Sir, not only do I differ with what you say, but I would certainly not fight to the death for your right to say it. Not me. You have to pick your fights.
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irfan said:
I was just sarcastic at the notion that both movies are on the same level
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Well, it's kinda like going from MK:A -> MK:A extended-cut (if such a thing existed). So technically the second is somewhat worse just because there's more of it, but really, they are still the same thing.
 
Owensboro said:
Found a spectacular FAQ that everyone who has seen the movie should read. I laughed a lot while reading it.


http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php
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:lol :lol :lol :lol

FAQ said:
Well, if one shard brought Megatron back to life, can't Sam just use his shard piece to resurrect Optimus?
Yes. He could.

...
...

Well?
He doesn't.

Why not?
I'm not sure exactly.
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FAQ said:
So Turturro translates the symbols.
No, that would be silly. He does, in an incredibly bizarre series of connect-the-dots, lead them to Jetfire, an elderly and deceased Transformers whose corpse is hanging out in the Air & Space Museum.

What good is he dead?!
Ah! Remember the shard? Sam uses it to bring Jetfire back to life!

Not Optimus?
No! This way, Sam can get the symbols translated... so he can, er... find the ancient machine... that can, uh... possibly bring Optimus back to life.

You have to fucking be kidding me.
Moving on! Jetfire teleports everyone to Egypt, including some of the missing Autobots --
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The movie's plot was horrifying enough, until I read this and realized the whole movie basically made no sense.


FAQ said:
How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?
Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.

So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What?
That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.

...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.
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And I didn't realize this either. Wow way to go Bay!


FAQ said:
Why is the U.S. military helping them?
Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.
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I noticed this one instantly though. Do the screenwriters think we're retarded?
 
Owensboro said:
Found a spectacular FAQ that everyone who has seen the movie should read. I laughed a lot while reading it.


http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php
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there are so many problems with this. Sam found the shard in his house, not his first day of college. Also, they don't use the shard to bring Megatron back to life, they use the spark from a Decepticon. "Kill the little one", remember? sheesh.

Which Autobot does the translating?
Err... none of them. Actually, it's John Turturro.
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next page:
So Turturro translates the symbols.
No, that would be silly. He does, in an incredibly bizarre series of connect-the-dots, lead them to Jetfire, an elderly and deceased Transformers whose corpse is hanging out in the Air & Space Museum.
Click to expand...

So which is it?
A lot was made of how Shia the Beef's hand injury was written into the film. How was this done?
Well, sometimes Shia had a huge bandage on his hand, and sometimes he didn't.

That doesn't sound "written in" at all.
Well, no actual words are used to explain it. It might be more accurate to say it "shows up sometimes."
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Did this person even watch the movie? during the teleport scene he lands on his hand, cries out in pain, and is bandaged up in the very next scene. They show the bandaging! much like they show the walking...they show the bandaging. I know the movie was tiring but wth?

but if you liked that, here's another: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/smg-transformers-10-questions.html some of the same problems ("where'd the bandage come from?") but hey, facts schmacts.

I didn't care for the film, but when arguments as retarded as this are made it's annoying.
 
I wonder if Paramount cooked the books or someone bought tickets to make Transformers beat Ice Age this weekend.

Traditionally kid's movies do better on weekends, but despite coming in number 2 this weekend Ice Age has beaten Transformers every weekday so far this week.
 
allegate said:
there are so many problems with this. Sam found the shard in his house, not his first day of college. Also, they don't use the shard to bring Megatron back to life, they use the spark from a Decepticon. "Kill the little one", remember? sheesh.
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LOL WAT. I'll leave this one for others to explain it for you. Obviously Bay didnt make that scene comprehensible enough for you.

allegate said:
So which is it? Did this person even watch the movie? during the teleport scene he lands on his hand, cries out in pain, and is bandaged up in the very next scene. They show the bandaging! much like they show the walking...they show the bandaging. I know the movie was tiring but wth?
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The bandage kept coming and going even after the landing in the desert. Its not always there.

allegate said:
I didn't care for the film, but when arguments as retarded as this are made it's annoying.
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While I dont agree with all the arguments from that piece, it does highlight a lot of plot holes in the movie that this doesnt even warrant the title of "summer blockbuster, please turn your brains off".

Grant DaNasty said:
I wonder if Paramount cooked the books or someone bought tickets to make Transformers beat Ice Age this weekend.

Traditionally kid's movies do better on weekends, but despite coming in number 2 this weekend Ice Age has beaten Transformers every weekday so far this week.
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Cook the books by deflating the weekday numbers to inflate the weekend? Possible. But buying tickets? No. :lol
 
Grant DaNasty said:
Traditionally kid's movies do better on weekends, but despite coming in number 2 this weekend Ice Age has beaten Transformers every weekday so far this week.
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Transformers is also a kids movie though.

irfan said:
LOL WAT. I'll leave this one for others to explain it for you. Obviously Bay didnt make that scene comprehensible enough for you.
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a) Megatron is revived at least half an hour(real, not movie-time) before decepticons even find the spark-shard.
b) Underwater scene features a 15seconds scene of murdering one of their own, taking something shiny from him, and sticking it into Megatron.

Now if you are implying that this somehow means that "one of decepticons had a piece of shard inside of him that required killing him to revive Megatron", then yes, Bay most certainly didn't make that scene comprehensible at all.
 
irfan said:
LOL WAT. I'll leave this one for others to explain it for you. Obviously Bay didnt make that scene comprehensible enough for you.
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what he said above.


The bandage kept coming and going even after the landing in the desert. Its not always there.
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maybe I missed it in the early scenes then but there is still a scene that shows him injuring it.


While I dont agree with all the arguments from that piece, it does highlight a lot of plot holes in the movie that this doesnt even warrant the title of "summer blockbuster, please turn your brains off".
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I totally agree there. The biggest ones are the graveyard and the teleporting. wth?
 
Fafalada said:
a) Megatron is revived at least half an hour(real, not movie-time) before decepticons even find the spark-shard.
b) Underwater scene features a 15seconds scene of murdering one of their own, taking something shiny from him, and sticking it into Megatron.

Now if you are implying that this somehow means that "one of decepticons had a piece of shard inside of him that required killing him to revive Megatron", then yes, Bay most certainly didn't make that scene comprehensible at all.
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Hold on.

Isnt Megatron revived after Ravage infiltrates and steals the all-spark shard from the military? The decepticons then take this and revive Megatron. They sacrifice one of the smaller insignificant decepticons and Megatron salvages the parts from it (Remember Megatron didnt have a leg when they dump him in the abyss).

If they didnt use the all-spark shard from the military on Megatron then why bother stealing it? Correct me if I'm wrong here.
 
irfan said:
Hold on.

Isnt Megatron revived after Ravage infiltrates and steals the all-spark shard from the military? The decepticons then take this and revive Megatron. They sacrifice one of the smaller insignificant decepticons and Megatron salvages the parts from it (Remember Megatron didnt have a leg when they dump him in the abyss).

If they didnt use the all-spark shard from the military on Megatron then why bother stealing it? Correct me if I'm wrong here.
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You are 100% correct.
 
It says that on the wiki page as well so it must be true. Honestly, the movie is such a jumbled mess that it's easy to get the sequence of events off. I'm not watching it again just to say "hah!" either. :p
 
Solo said:
If this movie somehow falls short of $400M after hitting $300M faster than any movie aside from TDK, then :lol
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I wonder if Bay will post that on his website.

"FIRST MOVIE TO MAKE $300 MIL IN 14 DAYS TO NOT MAKE IT TO $400 MIL!"
 
DMczaf said:
I wonder if Bay will post that on his website.

"FIRST MOVIE TO MAKE $300 MIL IN 14 DAYS TO NOT MAKE IT TO $400 MIL!"
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:lol If a director did that ever, they'd have my attention forever.
 
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