WCW Monday Nitro 11/16/98
TO THE BACK. The presidential motorcade has arrived. BUT WHO WAS LIMOS?!?
Jericho will defend against Bobby Duncum Jr. That's all we're told for the night. Oh, World War 3 is this weekend.
Juventud Guerrera vs Kidman WCW Cruiserweight Championship
What the fuck. First, THIS GOD DAMN MATCH IS HAPPENING AGIAN. THIS IS WORSE THAN KOFI VS ZIGGLER. Second, Juvi lost a number one contender match to Rey on Thunder. How on earth does he lose the match and get a title shot before Rey? It was the same thing when he lost to Disco (twice), yet got a title shot anyway. I'm going to do a tally of all of these matches. I think it has to be near 20. And I know there will be at least a few more. New city? Run Kidman/Juvi. City you've been to 3 times this year? Run Juvi/Kidman. Thunder? Run Kidman/Juvi. Juvi loses number one contender match? Run Kidman/Juvi. I don't care if the crowd is hot for it. Fuck off with this match. Juvi wins. New champion. What the fuck. He lost a number one contender match on Thunder, and now he's winning the title on Nitro? Are you fucking kidding me?
Recap of Rick/Judy challenging Buff/Scott for World War 3. Something has happened to Judy and we'll get footage from her from a hospital later tonight.
Wrath vs Raven
Raven compares his mom to Judy Bagwell. WCW won't tell him who or when he has to wrestle, so they can have the match without him. Kanyon begs him to snap out of it and take the match. Kanyon's going to do his shtick then. Wrath attacks during The Question. Meltdown. I guess Wrath wins. No mention of their former partnership. The lights go out and Glacier comes out.
Glacier vs Kanyon
Wrath should come back and ruin Glacier, too. Put a final stamp on Blood Runs Cold. Wrath does just that. Wrath wins again, I guess. And again, Blood Runs Cold wasn't mentioned once. After the break, it seems the match is still on. Or just starting with a 10 count. Suplex on the floor. Fameasser on the steps. Kanyon jumps off the top right into the Cryonic Kick. Kanyon hits a kick of his own. Kanyon wins with the Flatliner. BANG! I guess you could say...blood....runs....cold.
Recap of President Hogan on Nitro last week, and then visiting Imus in the Morning.
Sonny Ono vs El Gringo
I'm quite certain that El Gringo is Kaz Hayashi. He unmasks as Kaz to ZERO reaction. Nothing at all. Cat ran in and kicked Kaz. Sonny gets back in the ring and pins him.
Stevie Ray/Horace vs Steve McMichael/Dean Malenko
Man, this month is just as bad as the Summer months of awfulness. At least there was a build for most of the Halloween Havoc matches. As of the go home Nitro, there is no TV, US, or World title matches scheduled. This match is thrown out when Arn went tire iron crazy.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Ric Flair is the guest. Sans the rest of the Horsemen. Why was Mongo wrestling and not Benoit? Arn has been sent to jail courtesy of "Not guts, no gonads Bischoff. If Bischoff was a man, Flair would chop him so hard he'd be the first man with 4 nipples. Ric talks about tradition and brings back BARRY WINDHAM! Bischoff comes out. Flair doesn't have the money to hire Barry Windham. Ric says he's paying for Barry personally and that he's going to have Barry tear Eric's girlfriend up tonight. As in Liz. So more rape is on the way for her.
Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
Eddie begs Rey to join the LWO. If Eddie loses tonight, he'll let Rey be. Rey agrees. Arm drags! Eddie takes his patented monkey flip into the ropes. Tiltawhirl backbreaker. Eddie tries to blow Mickie Jay for some help. Rey hits the moonsault DDT. Never looked as good as HH97. I don't know what the fuck happens, but Rey does a whisper in the wind with Eddie not even looking, kind of hit Eddie's leg, and neither guy knew what to do. Eddie gets tossed to the floor. Huge Asai moonsault. It goes back in the ring just for Eddie to get knocked out to the other side. This new LWO guy trips Rey up. Powerbomb. Juvi comes in and accidentally leg drops Rey. Frog splash. Eddie wins! Rey must join the LWO.
TO THE HOSPITAL. Judy Bagwell is in the bed, claiming that Scott Steiner put her there. She's guilt tripping Buff.
Scott Putski vs Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Putski shows his Polish power with a body slam and lariatoo. Chavo uses Pepe to distract Scott and hits some Superman forearms.
TO THE BACK. A limo arrives. IT'S BAM BAM BIG YELLOW! He decks Dillinger and goes right for Goldberg's dressing room. Everyone knows Goldberg doesn't show up until there are 15 minutes left in the show.
Bam Bam comes to the ring. He takes out both men and calls Goldberg out. JoJo and Bischoff come out together with security and cops. Goldberg comes out! We've gout ourselves a pull apart brawl! Bischoff blames JoJo and wants to see him in the back right now. The first genuinely exciting thing to happen in months. Probably since Warrior's debut.
TO THE BACK. Eric bitches JoJo out. JoJo is FIRED! Good. Fuck him. JoJo quits! Fuck him.
Saturn vs Konnan
Saturn talks about Konnan taking over his feud. He says that was bullshit and Konnan was just out there to plug himself. You don't say. That was 2 weeks ago and Konnan hasn't had dick to do with the LWO since then. Saturn hits Konnan while he was doing his rapping bullshit. Saturn is now my favorite wrestler. Here comes the LWO. We have a split screen with Gene and Bischoff outside of Goldberg's locker room. Then they cut fully to Gene and Bischoff. Eric says Bam Bam is not a part of WCW and will not be in WW3. Goldberg grabs Bischoff and forces him to agree to Goldberg vs Bam Bam tonight. I wish every Konnan match was interrupted by backstage promos. The LWO interfere finally and end this shit. Saturn punches everyone. Saturn and Konnan get back into it.
A Hall and Nash recap airs.
Buff and Steiner come to the ring with their own ref. Their ref shows how to properly count. I think it is Slick Johnson, but he looks more like a mini Harris Brother. Buff apparently gave Scott permission to hit Judy. They're now BFFFL. They bring out some man dressed as a woman, saying it is Mrs. Steiner. Scott let's Buff beat up his mom. Rick comes running out. He pulls the lady clothes off of this guy. Norton attacks Rick from behind. Scott says he will end Rick's career if he shows up at WW3.
Chris Jericho vs Bobby Duncum Jr. WCW TV Championship
Duncum is basically Bradshaw, but in shape and with curly blond hair. I mark for just about anyone with cowboy wrestling boots. Except for Bo Dallas. Jericho for some reason is out wrestling, striking , and submissioning Duncum, despite being a good 6 inches shorter. Vertical suplex. Bobby gets up and boots him in the face. Flapjack Norton. Flying lariatoo off the apron. Duncum throws Jericho into the crowd. Diving lariatoo in the ring. Jericho says fuck it and leaves with his title.
President Hogan comes out by himself. This is so stupid. And also offensive that they can't find a wrestling program for Hogan to do, yet still give him a big angle, but Goldberg is the champion and they can't find shit for him to do. This thing with Bam Bam is the first real angle he's had since he won the title. Hulk introduces his intern: A Monica Lewinski impersonator. She's kind of hot. She gives Hulk a cigar. This is so pointless. It isn't even leading to anything. Unless you count the Finger Poke of Doom. Bischoff comes out with his serious face on. Someone threw something at him. They call Hall to the ring. He accuses Bischoff of not having his head in the game, which makes Bischoff lol. Bischoff tells Hall to go to the back. Hall decks Bischoff. Hogan then fights with Hall until Nash ran in to make the save.
You know what really bothers me about the Nitro Girls? Besides being poor dancers and even worse as a group (since they were never in synch), they used the same 2-3 songs over and over, sometimes on the same show.
Bret Hart vs Chris Benoit
Oh shit. There isn't much time left and we still have a main event to go. Hopefully they go full tilt for 10 minutes. Benoit gets right to work, beating the shit out Bret. Brain doesn't know if they've had a match and Tenay says he thinks one maybe. This whole thing was over Benoit being injured by Bret in their first match, then Bret trying to reinjure Benoit as soon as he came back. That's the whole story of the match. How could they not remember if these two had a match previously? Bret finally gets back in it by being a dick head. Second rope elbow. Bret works Benoit over for a few minutes until Benoit kills himself on a superplex. He basically gave himself a top rope Ganso Bomb. JESSUUUUSS. Diving headbutt. Bret grabs a chair. Benoit punches it in his face and gives him the snot rocket. The ref won't let Benoit use the chair, which opening him up to a low blow. Bret uses the chair on the freshly healed arm. Dean makes the save. Brain still makes time to make fun of Helen. Bret ran back in and ambushed Dean. DDP returns to stop the beat down. He takes the time to say SCUM a few times. 3 times in 30 seconds. 4 times. Hollywood SCUM, Randy Macho SCUM, Bret HitSCUM, and an unaffiliated SCUM. Another HitSCUM. Before JoJo got fired, he got a match signed with HitSCUM at WW3. He said SCUM 6 times in about 2 minutes.
Goldberg vs Bam Bam Big Yellow WCW Championship
Bam Bam attacks during Goldberg's pyro. They're not anywhere near the ring. Security breaks it up. WE'RE OUTTA TIME.
Well, Bam Bam showing up put a spark into the show. I think they should have been more or less booking Goldberg like 80s Hogan, with monsters of the week/month. Not run in to save people and then but completely disconnected from the angle.
And President Hogan is worse in 2 weeks than all of the Warrior shit. Especially with the knowledge that the pay off is something completely unrelated and ends in the Finger Poke of DOOOOOOOM. One new match was made for WW3, but one was removed. The Cruiserweight Championship match is now up in the air since Juvi won the title, but Rey beat him to face Kidman at WW3, but Kidman deserves a rematch. So who knows. If it's Kidman vs Juvi again, I'll going to be so pissed. The Steiner thing desperately needs to end, Hall has been SWERVING Nash since February, there has literally been zero progression in the Bischoff/Flair storyline since the night Flair came back, Goldberg doesn't (and won't) have a match going into the PPV. Warrior seems to be gone since he wasn't mentioned at all. But Mr. Hogan still gets 10 minutes to ramble with tons of security, balloons, and confetti for a completely non wrestling related angle.