JBL is doing commentary for the PPV tonight and Raw tomorrow. He may be in for longer than that too...
Holy hype, hopefully they don't tone down his style because JBL is fantastic on commentary.
Hang on, hang on... Is it time? Is it prediction time? IT IS! IT IS PREDICTION TIME! BAH GAWD KING! IT IS PREDICTION TIME!!
Yeah I guess it is.
Night of Champions is that rare time of year where the US title is guaranteed to actually turn up on the card itself in a title defence instead of the pre show or something, that's probably the most notable thing about this event these days.
Antonio Cesaro vs ??? for the US title
Well with Cesaro obtaining the belt it appears that the US title is creeping back into actual use instead of merely being a fashion accessory, but the booking is still as piss poor surrounding the belt that a battle royale on the pre show is needed to name a contender. Terrifyingly the last SD seemed to indicate one Brodus Clay as a threat to Cesaro which will be boring as hell since the Funk's wrestling ability is pretty much on par with his dancing that boils down to making maws out if his arms and marching around like a prehistoric plonker. Whatever happens Cesaro retains since there's no need to remove the wind from his sails so soon.
Layla vs Kaitlyn for the Divas title
Well this feud has more than a whiff of Eve surrounding it, she should factor in here. Kaitlyn is greener than the grass that's also on the metaphorical other side, yet she's sort of likeable and has tree trunk/Chun Li legs that should be applied to a greater role, perhaps like Goldeneye Xenia style submissions or something. Layla is okay, not really a fan of her in ring antics but it isn't that bad, the face versus face dynamic here doesn't really change to much, I don't see Kaitlyn winning this so it goes to Layla, possibly due to her new fake best friend Eve. Also serves as a lovely food preparation time/piss break, no not at the same time, that would be
disgusting.
Air Truth (?) vs TEAM FRIENDSHIP for the Tag Team Titles
My interest in WWE has been dwindling recently, Bryan and Kane's antics though have become do not miss television for me and it would be criminal if they don't get the belts, want to see some Shelby involvement as well, he's great in his role.
And the very hopeful side of me desperately wants Kofi off doing something worthwhile with a character shake up, for so long he has propped up the mid card hanging around the tag, US and IC titles, time to give him another shot at something else or an actual feud with a plot to it.
Anyway Kane and Bryan need to continue their uneasy alliance to a sketchy victory and stick around as champs for a month or so before inevitably falling apart with Bryan hopefully being put over by Good Guy Glen.
Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler
Orton's coming off a suspension and heading off into a movie, meanwhile Ziggler holds the MITB and could use more credibility, I should think the booking is obvious here....
LOL ORTON WINS, RKO OUT OF NOWHERE! punishment? what the fuck is that? only mid carders have their careers ruined by a suspension, Orton is untouchable for reasons unknown and has been for years.
Sheamus vs Del Rio AGAIN for the WHC
Oh boy it's this match again, as if Del Rio hadn't looked shit enough over the past few months now it's like a lose, lose situation where even if he wins (not bloody likely) he looks weak since the Brogue Kick is banned for some very half assed reasons, mostly because Irish Cena needs more odds to overcome.
Sheamus fortunately has like 2 other finishers to pull out, ADR has a submission which as a heel can only work on mid card faces, top faces are invulnerable unless there's like multiple falls allowed.
For what it's worth the dynamic seen in HBK/Orton when sweet chin music was banned could be present here and that was actually pretty fun, but while Sheamus isn't that bad at all he isn't HBK. A good chance for some MITB stuff post match regardless of the result where the Brogue Kick stipulation will still be in play. As for this match though, Sheamus wins of course.
Miz vs Mysterio vs Rhodes vs Sin Cara
Two kind of half assed feuds from recent weeks thrown together for a fast and frantic fatal 4 way match up. While Cara has been getting better he apparently botched the hell out of his last match on SD so my faith in him pulling off great work here is slightly diminished, everyone else will go through their motions, though perhaps Cody will put more effort in, Miz likely retains and will continue to hover around purgatory since WWE have no real plans for him right now. Should be fun to see Rey and Cara go at it though, perhaps a sign of things to come if it goes well.
John Cena vs CM Punk for the WWE championship
NEW MUSIC? NEW BELT? PIPE BOMBS? Nope.
HAIRCUT? BLAH-RESPECT-BLAH? HEYMAN? well there's that at least.
I've not hidden my opinion on Punk's turn, I think it sucks, I didn't mind his face run even if it was a bit lacking, this heel run started from weak beginnings and has attempted to slow burn from a dismal fire. Punk has looked cowardly and like a whiner.
Cena meanwhile has looked like Cena which is to say he smirks a lot and has promos that start jokey and then go into lots of yelling, fortunately his recent bout of yelling was enough to make this match sort of interesting, I want Punk to retain and really I expect him to yet at the same time i'm actually more compelled by Cena's stale self in this feud, strange.
Last year this matchup was a roaring fire, now it's a single birthday candle that could be snuffed out by an asthmatic wheeze. They need to do something real good to pull me back into this, and no, "respect" or Big Show are not valid ways to do that.
Filler: Wade Barrett maybe, he's actually back but has arrived with a whimper beating up Tatsu on SD last week but not seen since, he claims he's open for business so maybe some heel can hire him for dirty work, ADR, Ziggler or Heyman maybe.
Ryback, the surviving squasher from the great spring squash segments, where Funk and Tensei have fallen he has grown stronger and looks to consume everything.
Now here's an outside chance, the NXT title? maybe Seth could show up in some form, it is NoC after all.
When it comes down to it this ppv is pretty weak, surrounded by unfocused booking on midcard belts as usual, a show where the tag team title match is all that really appeals to me on the strength of one team, don't think i'll be staying up for this. At best you may get a Ziggler cash in but nothing else particularly noteworthy looks to happen.