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[Haly]

Hey, guess which house gets favoritism from the school's administration, and whose headmaster "looks the other way" when they're in clear violation of protocol. Sometimes, they even get awarded for breaking the rules!

Yeah that's right.

That's what I thought.

 

[Cyan]

Nothing about gryffindor says "STEM majors" save for Hermione maybe, Harry wanted to be a frigging cop when he grew up and Ron wanted to be a pro Athlete, jocks and fratboys sounds right.

Seriously though, Hermione is a Ravenclaw, Neville is a Hufflepuff, Ron & Harry are the only real Gryffindors and they're both kinda dumb.

Headcanon > actual canon

 

[Angry Grimace]

Nah, Hermione was the self-insert. Ginny is super awesome because Rowling wants her hero to get a super awesome girl, not because she's a self-insert.

The thing is, I don't think that ended up being interesting at all. Hermione and Ron was interesting because there was a lot of character development involved and Rowling took her time to develop that. Harry just ends up saying, "wow that girl is hot and she is conveniently a member of my surrogate family."

 

[googleplex]

AKA House Yamcha

Ehhh.. More like House Rock Lee.

 

[Chairman Yang]

Nintendo fanboys remind me of Hufflepuffs

Nintendo: Hufflepuff
Microsoft: Slytherin
Sony: Gryffindor
PC: Ravenclaw

 

[foxtrot3d]

Nothing about gryffindor says "STEM majors" save for Hermione maybe, Harry wanted to be a frigging cop when he grew up and Ron wanted to be a pro Athlete, jocks and fratboys sounds right.

This is the truth.

 

[FortuneFaded]

gryffindor has emma watson

Don't shit where you eat.

 

[-Plasma Reus-]

All I know is that I am Gryffindor.
We in here.

 

[TheGreatDirector]

Hufflepuff's animal made no goddamn sense to me.

Gryffindor, obviously a griffin.

Slytherin, obviously a snake.

Ravenclaw, obviously a raven.

Hufflepuff though? A goddamn badger. How does that even relate remotely to the name?

 

[SmithnCo]

Nintendo: Hufflepuff
Microsoft: Slytherin
Sony: Gryffindor
PC: Ravenclaw

Ouya: Squibs

 

[R10Neymarfan]

I though cedric was gryffindor, hermione a raven and ron a hufflepuff. The actual story makes no sense

Seriously though, Hermione is a Ravenclaw, Neville is a Hufflepuff, Ron & Harry are the only real Gryffindors and they're both kinda dumb.

Headcanon > actual canon

Everyone knows the sorting hat is bullshit. You can literally choose where you want to be in the end. Nothing more than a glorified magical personality test.

 

[Toxi]

Hufflepuff's animal made no goddamn sense to me.

Gryffindor, obviously a griffin.

Slytherin, obviously a snake.

Ravenclaw, obviously a raven.

Hufflepuff though? A goddamn badger. How does that even relate remotely to the name?

Lion.

Everyone knows the sorting hat is bullshit. You can literally choose where you want to be in the end. Nothing more than a glorified magical personality test.

Thank God I'm not the only one who remembers this.

 

[PSqueak]

Nah, Hermione was the self-insert. Ginny is super awesome because Rowling wants her hero to get a super awesome girl, not because she's a self-insert.

Reminds me of that one time when there were rumours she was going to kill ron and worried fans always were like "Please don't kill Ron!" and she was like, "Why doesn't anybody care about Hermione?!"

 

[Angry Grimace]

Hey, guess which house gets favoritism from the school's administration, and whose headmaster "looks the other way" when they're in clear violation of protocol. Sometimes, they even get awarded for breaking the rules!

Yeah that's right.

That's what I thought.

I remember at the time thinking how much flagrant bullshit it was that Dumbledore and McGonagall would repeatedly give their own house like 301987512903 points just so they'd win the stupid cup at the end of the year despite the fact that it was supposed to be a year long competition.

 

[Steamlord]

Eh, that's one way to see it, but i always saw Hufflepuff as the "Broest of bros" house, it just seemed to me that valuing Friendship was their thing.

Hufflepuff is the "we got your back, bro" house, the Hufflepuffs are the one who are there to be your best friends, the ones who will pick you up when you're down, the ones who will let you win at street fighter to cheer you up, Hufflepuff is all about fair play and union, while all the other houses are about bitter rivalries and eltism. Yes, they play Slytherin as the "supremacist" house, but Gryffindor was also full of "my house rules, yours sucks" and Ravenclaws always seemed stuck up.

Hufflepuff is the house you could share a [butter]beer with and have a good time.

That's a good point. It's basically the only house that isn't full of assholes...at least from what I can recall.

 

[striferser]

I don't know OP, i mean, i can't remember what that house specialty is until you mention it. Seem like a perfect house for a mob character.

 

[PK Gaming]

Seriously though, Hermione is a Ravenclaw, Neville is a Hufflepuff, Ron & Harry are the only real Gryffindors and they're both kinda dumb.

Headcanon > actual canon

They had that "relevant character factor" though

Come to think of it, Gryffindor was almost entirely comprised of major characters, lol

 

[ibyea]

I remember at the time thinking how much flagrant bullshit it was that Dumbledore and McGonagall would repeatedly give their own house like 301987512903 points just so they'd win the stupid cup at the end of the year despite the fact that it was supposed to be a year long competition.

I thought that was just Dumbledore. McGonagall made sure Harry, Ron, and Hermione paid a heavy price for rule breaking.

 

[Haly]

I remember at the time thinking how much flagrant bullshit it was that Dumbledore and McGonagall would repeatedly give their own house like 301987512903 points just so they'd win the stupid cup at the end of the year despite the fact that it was supposed to be a year long competition.

All the other houses at the end of every fucking year:

 

[bchamba]

OP got sorted into HufflePuff

 

[Angry Grimace]

I don't know, we only actually see like 4 Hufflepuffs and all of them are useless nitwits.

Luna is basically delusional, Ernie's shown to be mostly incompetent, Cedric is a useless pretty boy. Their head of house is the teacher of the most garbage magic profession ever - that's right, she's the fucking Gardening professor.

 

[PSqueak]

Everyone knows the sorting hat is bullshit. You can literally choose where you want to be in the end. Nothing more than a glorified magical personality test.

Well, didn't Rowling said that Neville wanted to be put on hufflepuff but the hat said "gryffindor" and Neville was like "yeah, no, i want Hufflepuff" and he went at it with the hat for several minutes until the hat was like "dude, you're rebeling against my ruling of putting you in Gryffindor, that's like, the most Gryffindor thing ever!" or something like that?

I don't know, we only actually see like 4 Hufflepuffs and all of them are useless nitwits.

Luna is basically delusional, Ernie's shown to be mostly incompetent, Cedric is a useless pretty boy. Their head of house is the teacher of the most garbage magic profession ever - that's right, she's the fucking Gardening professor.

Tell that to Hermione and all the people that had to be restored at the end of the second book.

 

[SmithnCo]

I remember at the time thinking how much flagrant bullshit it was that Dumbledore and McGonagall would repeatedly give their own house like 301987512903 points just so they'd win the stupid cup at the end of the year despite the fact that it was supposed to be a year long competition.

Yeah, the end of book 1 was Dumbledore giving a middle finger to Slytherin

 

[Toxi]

You know, I think the people saying Hufflepuff>Ravenclaw have a point.

The most important Hufflepuff student was Cedric Diggory.

The most important Ravenclaw student was fucking Cho Chang.

EDIT: Ooh, I forgot Luna was Ravenclaw. Yep, Hufflepuff still at the bottom.

 

[Vibranium]

Slytherin needed to be portrayed as being divided by the "Death Eater kids" and actually decent, ambitious people, rather than cartoonishly evil. Rowling really messed up there, should have had them at the final battle. She also should have had some Slytherin kids tell Malfoy to fuck off and back up Harry during previous books.

 

[Stet]

It's dangerous to eat transmogrified food. Can you imagine your celery sticks turning back into lard?

Great, now Foodbabe is affecting the Potterverse.

 

[Dresden]

The most important Ravenclaw student was fucking Cho Chang.

still the most chinese name ever

 

[Cyan]

All the other houses at the end of every fucking year:

Well Slytherin probably is full of anti-Semites.

 

[Brakke]

literally the Moral Of The Story with the houses is that they're a sham and don't mean anything

dumbledore laments that we sort people as kids

snape's the bravest dude in the whole thing

 

[Cyan]

I don't know, we only actually see like 4 Hufflepuffs and all of them are useless nitwits.

Luna is basically delusional, Ernie's shown to be mostly incompetent, Cedric is a useless pretty boy. Their head of house is the teacher of the most garbage magic profession ever - that's right, she's the fucking Gardening professor.

Luna is tha bes. Luna/Harry OTP

 

[Angry Grimace]

Wait, Luna was in Ravenclaw, right? Shit I forgot that. Still, she's more competent than any of the other dudes I listed, e.g. Ernie, Hannah, or Professor Gardening. Why the fuck do the students even need to study Magical Gardening anyways? Seems like a horseshit mandatory subject vs. English, Math or "how to blend into the Muggle world given we are a tremendous minority"

 

[Toxi]

Slytherin needed to be portrayed as being divided by the "Death Eater kids" and actually decent, ambitious people, rather than cartoonishly evil. Rowling really messed up there, should have had them at the final battle. She also should have had some Slytherin kids tell Malfoy to fuck off and back up Harry during previous books.

Slytherin is basically this frat.

 

[Haly]

The badger thing is really dumb. My friend and I agree that the animal mascots just invoke stupid fairytale/children's book ideas of animals.

Raven: Smart (this is the only one with basis in reality)
Snake: Evil/Ambitious (nothing about this could be further from the truth, snakes are shy and jumpy little fucks who spend most of their time chilling)
Lion: Courage/Noble (yeah, like lazing around all day while your harem does stuff for you while your only job is to have sex with them is the height of courage and nobility, maybe in 15th century England)
Badger: Whatever (badgers are mean fuckers, pint sized juggernauts of the marsupial world, Brian Jacques had the right idea)

 

[Dresden]

Wait, Luna was in Ravenclaw, right? Shit I forgot that. Still, she's more competent than any of the other dudes I listed, e.g. Ernie, Hannah, or Professor Gardening. Why the fuck do the students even need to study Magical Gardening anyways? Seems like a horseshit mandatory subject vs. English, Math or "how to blend into the Muggle world given we are a tremendous minority"

Muggle studies being mandatory would mean that the muggle justice warriors won.

 

[PK Gaming]

I don't know, we only actually see like 4 Hufflepuffs and all of them are useless nitwits.

Luna is basically delusional, Ernie's shown to be mostly incompetent, Cedric is a useless pretty boy. Their head of house is the teacher of the most garbage magic profession ever - that's right, she's the fucking Gardening professor.

Luna Lovegood was a Ravenclaw you ignorant shit

Luna is tha bes. Luna/Harry OTP

I was convinced that it would be a thing in the 6th book(?) after he asks her to join him for that Slughorn party/dance/thing? I was so mad when he ditched her.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Luna is tha bes. Luna/Harry OTP

I actually forgot Luna was in Ravenclaw. I remember having a serious argument in a bar that Luna would have been a more interesting choice for Harry than Ginny, simply because she actually had demonstrable flaws by the time Harry picked her, which would have been more interesting and/or satisfying to read.

 

[Haly]

Muggles studies is like the women studies of the wizarding world.

Or maybe classes on African American/Chicano literature.

 

[Cyan]

Wait, Luna was in Ravenclaw, right? Shit I forgot that. Still, she's more competent than any of the other dudes I listed, e.g. Ernie, Hannah, or Professor Gardening. Why the fuck do the students even need to study Magical Gardening anyways? Seems like a horseshit mandatory subject vs. English, Math or "how to blend into the Muggle world given we are a tremendous minority"

Huh, I forgot that too.

I guess it's Cedric for Hufflepuff numero uno. But I mean, the dude got picked as the official Hogwarts champion, beating out a bunch of assholes from the other three houses. That's gotta count for something.

Didn't get picked through bullshit magic cheating like that jerk Potter.

 

[IdreamofHIME]

Slytherin for life. I want to live in a mansion, not a broken shed like those scrub Weasleys.

Buy a pack of condoms you moron!

 

[TheGreatDirector]

Lion.

Well...shit.

Still though, out of all of them Hufflepuff doesn't even remotely relate to the animal. With Griffins at least have the body of a lion.

 

[PSqueak]

Muggles studies is like the women studies of the wizarding world.

Or maybe classes on African American/Chicano literature.

As taught by a misogynist/racist.

Didn't they mention the shit they thaught there was basically super wrong?

 

[Angry Grimace]

Muggles studies is like the women studies of the wizarding world.

Or maybe classes on African American/Chicano literature.

MRA spotted. It's "Womyn's Studies."

The fact that essentially everyone from the Wizarding world was practically incapable of interacting with Muggles demonstrates a serious need to learn that shit given that they implied they went into hiding because muggles fucking kill them when they find out.

 

[Cyan]

Ravenclaw mascot is the EAGLE. At least, book canon says so.

...

See, it's shit like this that makes headcanon > book canon. How do you name a house Ravenclaw and then its mascot is a fucking eagle, jesus christ Rowling.

 

[Regiruler]

Nintendo: Hufflepuff
Microsoft: Slytherin
Sony: Gryffindor
PC: Ravenclaw

Nah

Hufflepuff: Microsoft
Slytherin: Sony
Ravenclaw: PC
Gryffindor: Nintendo

 

[Angry Grimace]

The badger thing is really dumb. My friend and I agree that the animal mascots just invoke stupid fairytale/children's book ideas of animals.

Raven: Smart (this is the only one with basis in reality)
Snake: Evil/Ambitious (nothing about this could be further from the truth, snakes are shy and jumpy little fucks who spend most of their time chilling)
Lion: Courage/Noble (yeah, like lazing around all day while your harem does stuff for you while your only job is to have sex with them is the height of courage and nobility, maybe in 15th century England)
Badger: Whatever (badgers are mean fuckers, pint sized juggernauts of the marsupial world, Brian Jacques had the right idea)

They literally picked the mascots in the Eleventh Century. Sounds about right.

 

[PSqueak]

...

See, it's shit like this that makes headcanon > book canon. How do you name a house Ravenclaw and then its mascot is a fucking eagle, jesus christ Rowling.

I guess people got it backwards, Slytherin is the odd one out in the sense that the animal ties in with the name.

 

[Haly]

As taught by a misogynist/racist.

Didn't they mention the shit they thaught there was basically super wrong?

I forgot about that part. Welp!

MRA spotted. It's "Womyn's Studies."

Let's not start this here Grimace...

I guess this is a good a time as any to bring up a HP fic (yeah yeah, I know) I read recently. I'm not much of a fanfic guy but this was pushed onto me by a friend I trust and it is legit:

Applied Cultural Anthropology, or... How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cruciatus

Albus Dumbledore always worried about the parallels between Harry Potter and Tom Riddle. But let's be honest, Harry never really had the drive to be the next dark lord. Of course, things may have turned out quite differently if one of the other muggle-raised Gryffindors wound up in Slytherin instead.

The gist is, we all know Hermione was OP as fuck in the books, and that she was only held back by being a goody-two-shoes Gryffindor.

But what if she was in Slytherin? This fic makes a good case for her rise as a potential Dark Lord, having to deal with bullying as a nerd in the muggle world, and bullying as a muggle-born in the wizarding world, but with enough brains and cunning to rise above it all.

 

[Cyan]

I guess people got it backwards, Slytherin is the odd one out in the sense that the animal ties in with the name.

Fuck that, don't trust Rowling, jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt a horcrux.

 

[googleplex]

But I think we can all agree that Luna Lovegood was the best girl.

 

[TheGreatDirector]

Seriously though, Hermione is a Ravenclaw, Neville is a Hufflepuff, Ron & Harry are the only real Gryffindors and they're both kinda dumb.

Headcanon > actual canon

Neville showed bravery and courage though. He stood up to Harry and his friends leaving the dormitory at night in the first book. became one of the most active participants in Dumbledore's army, led most of the rebellion in Hogwarts against Voldemort, and slayed Naga with the sword at the end of seventh book,