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[Alucard]

So I'm at a friend's bbq. There are some people from the university I go to there as well, some of which I know by sight but not really by name. The night's going fine, I'm chilling and chatting it up, and feel that this one girl is somewhat interested in me. She's friendly and funny and pretty cool. She's just not...attractive to my eyes. (A bit heavy for my tastes and I like girls with a bit of weight)

So the friend who's holding the bbq walks up (drunk) in the middle of the circle of people I was chatting with and says how me and this girl should hook up. So what's the first thing that pops into my head? "Ahaha. I'm still sober." WHOOPS. She was pretty offended and didn't really talk to me for the rest of the night. As soon as she left though, all my buddies started laughing while saying "that's probably one of the stupidest things you have ever said...especially since you probably could have at least made out with her."

All in all, a fun night!

 

[Idle Will Kill]

Hahah, gosh that's great.

 

[Black Deatha]

lol, that's cold man.

~Black Deatha

 

[belgurdo]

Still beats cocky and funny

 

[Alucard]

At the time I didn't really mean it to be offensive. It just seemed like a funny thing to say...and I was being honest 'cause I wasn't really attracted to this girl. Even after she left my one friend was insisting on how I should go out with the girl despite my best efforts to explain why I wasn't interested.

 

[Ecrofirt]

True story.

At school, I was in line for the soda machine, when a female friend decided to cut in front of me to be cute. I said "Man, what a cunt" outloud, and boy was she ever pissed at me.

 

[Idle Will Kill]

Freshman year in high school I called this fat girl on the bus fat right to her face. I think I meant to do it in an inoffensive, joking manner, but apparently, that's not possible.

 

[Mike Works]

I used to do this a lot, so now I just do it on purpose. That way they know that I'm joking. Oddly enough, it almost always works better than most anything else I say.

 

[Alucard]

I used to do this a lot, so now I just do it on purpose. That way they know that I'm joking. Oddly enough, it almost always works better than most anything else I say.

So how's it feel to be the "cheap laugh" guy?

 

[sefskillz]

I used to do this a lot, so now I just do it on purpose. That way they know that I'm joking. Oddly enough, it almost always works better than most anything else I say.

Mike practically invented cocky and funny. He was c&f before it was cool to be c&f.

 

[Asbel]

LMAO! Did you really go 'Ahaha'? LOL. You should make your quote your tag Alucard.

 

[Greekboy]

You cockblocked yourself?

 

[Loki]

Damn Alucard, I always took you for someone with a bit more tact and class than that. Though I guess we all have our moments-- you probably just got caught up in the moment trying to say something funny, like you said; the alcohol you had already imbibed likely propelled you further towards your unfortunate gaffe.


Still, that girl's gotta be hurting now. I don't even think that a simple "I'll pass" would have been as damaging as what you ended up saying.


But I mean, in a "normal kid" kinda way (i.e., how typical kids nowadays act/think-- with no forethought or consideration), that is absolutely hysterical. I'm not too old yet that I can't see the humor tucked away in there.

 

[Alucard]

You cockblocked yourself?

You are correct miss. Alas, I have standards and principles.

 

[Kabuki Waq]

this happened at college with ppl around at our table.

Girl: hey are you staring at my boobs? *wink*

me: Yes and for my next magic trick i am going to feel up this nice flat table *wink*

me:*rubs table in circular motion *

girl: fuck off! *leaves table*





good times

 

[Greekboy]

You are correct miss. Alas, I have standards and principles.

No doubt but there also times when I throw standards and principles out the window too.

 

[Alucard]

Damn Alucard, I always took you for someone with a bit more tact and class than that. Though I guess we all have our moments-- you probably just got caught up in the moment trying to say something funny, like you said; the alcohol you had already imbibed likely propelled you further towards your unfortunate gaffe.


Still, that girl's gotta be hurting now. I don't even think that a simple "I'll pass" would have been as damaging as what you ended up saying.


But I mean, in a "normal kid" kinda way (i.e., how typical kids nowadays act/think-- with no forethought or consideration), that is absolutely hysterical. I'm not too old yet that I can't see the humor tucked away in there.

Yeah, I'm normally not so vulgar. When I'm in an environment like that though, I kind of lose myself a bit. I've also grown more bitter and cynical over the past couple of years so my "nice guy" persona isn't as prominent anymore. Ah well.

 

[Alucard]

No doubt but there also times when I throw standards and principles out the window too.

Alright then. Let's do this thing. ASL?!!

 

[Triumph]

Damn Alucard, I always took you for someone with a bit more tact and class than that. Though I guess we all have our moments-- you probably just got caught up in the moment trying to say something funny, like you said; the alcohol you had already imbibed likely propelled you further towards your unfortunate gaffe.


Still, that girl's gotta be hurting now. I don't even think that a simple "I'll pass" would have been as damaging as what you ended up saying.


But I mean, in a "normal kid" kinda way (i.e., how typical kids nowadays act/think-- with no forethought or consideration), that is absolutely hysterical. I'm not too old yet that I can't see the humor tucked away in there.

GAFers, something must be done about these smilies. They are a heaping bucket of suck, especially : p(I refuse to actually be a part of something that lame, so I'll space it when I type it or use the ol' faithful Darkshire patented ).

 

[Alucard]

this happened at college with ppl around at our table.

Girl: hey are you staring at my boobs? *wink*

me: Yes and for my next magic trick i am going to feel up this nice flat table *wink*

me:*rubs table in circular motion *

girl: fuck off! *leaves table*





good times

LMAO. Most. Hilarious. Conversation. Ever.

 

[Greekboy]

Alright then. Let's do this thing. ASL?!!

Trust me. You really don't want to know.

 

[fart]

what you said was awesome but you have to mean it next time

 

[Alucard]

Trust me. You really don't want to know.

Hey, anything over 19 is fair game.

Okay, it's getting way too late and this probably belongs on IRC. @_@

 

[Loki]

Yeah, I'm normally not so vulgar. When I'm in an environment like that though, I kind of lose myself a bit. I've also grown more bitter and cynical over the past couple of years so my "nice guy" persona isn't as prominent anymore. Ah well.

Not to fret-- all us "nice guys" get progressively more corrupted and jaded as time marches on and we see more and more of our (always overly idealistic) expectations fail to be met. Our status and power is slowly being eroded from within by our own realizations, and usurped from without by cocky&funny hooligans and other assorted miscreants.


The above was entirely in jest. Ok, well, except for the first sentence at least.

this happened at college with ppl around at our table.

Girl: hey are you staring at my boobs? *wink*

me: Yes and for my next magic trick i am going to feel up this nice flat table *wink*

me:*rubs table in circular motion *

girl: fuck off! *leaves table*





good times

C & F !

GAFers, something must be done about these smilies. They are a heaping bucket of suck, especially : p(I refuse to actually be a part of something that lame, so I'll space it when I type it or use the ol' faithful Darkshire patented ).

Yes, I'm a known emoticon abuser. But, like always, you're just going to have to deal with it. My exuberance and emotivity know no bounds. Internet be damned.

 

[Triumph]

Yes, I'm a known emoticon abuser. But, like always, you're just going to have to deal with it. My exuberance and emotivity know no bounds. Internet be damned.

Nah dude, I'm not knocking the use of the emoticons. I'm knocking the emoticons that we have available to use... ESPECIALLY : p. Ugh.

 

[Loki]

Nah dude, I'm not knocking the use of the emoticons. I'm knocking the emoticons that we have available to use... ESPECIALLY : p. Ugh.

Ah, I see. Quite the valid point. (<---used just to enrage you further )

 

[Triumph]

Loki... just answer one question for me.

Did you like ICO?

 

[Socreges]

So the friend who's holding the bbq walks up (drunk) in the middle of the circle of people I was chatting with and says how me and this girl should hook up. So what's the first thing that pops into my head? "Ahaha. I'm still sober." WHOOPS.

You're a bastard. But a really funny bastard.

 

[Mike Works]

Mike practically invented cocky and funny. He was c&f before it was cool to be c&f.

fucking cubsfan

 

[Loki]

Loki... just answer one question for me.

Did you like ICO?

I see your ploy, Duke, and I shall adroitly sidestep your little trap by saying that I've never played ICO, only watched my friend play it-- it looked very nice, however.


You have to wake up preeeetty early in the morning to fool me, Raoul.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Thats awesome. Kinda mean, but still awesome. Sometimes you just can't control those little comments, gets me in trouble with women all the time. I must have some brain disease that doesn't filter out that stuff...I know its the dumbest thing to say and I still let it out. Many men have the same disease these days.

 

[J2 Cool]

Well, better to say something stupid, instead of doing something stupid. Back in like 5th grade man was I a confused boy. Never got attention from girls too much. Just moved into a new town and school. All the girls liked the tall blonde boy who quickly became my best friend. So I'd hang out with him at reccess and such and notice girls always flirting with him. Push him and he'd shove em back. Just laugh while he acted stupid.

But one day they were joking around and the guy was pushing girls and running from em. So I got no clue how I come to this but I decide to join in. I take a running start and throw this girl to the ground. Then hear her getting up saying "what the fuck?! Matt, what the fuck is your friend doing. You better take care of him". Needless to say I turned hella red and just decided to forget about attention from girls and getting to be friends with any of them

Oh, and around those same years I also really liked this one girl. Hottest girl in our school. I was hanging out with a few friends doing this video report for school and they call her up to fill a part. So things are ok at first and we all hang out and laugh. But man I froze whenever she would talk directly to me. Said the stupidest stuff. Then we all walked to white hen or something down the street and I was just completely silent for like a half hour besides laughing at stuff. Ah well. Im a mack daddy now, play it coool. Except for that other chick I pushed down last week. But other than, coooool.

 

[nitewulf]

oooh...thats...cold. but funny, yes.

 

[Sho Nuff]

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies"

 

[The Shadow]

It would have been truly boneheaded if she was hot, you were interested in her, and there was a solid connection. She wasn't all that great and you weren't interested so it's no big deal.

I *hate* hurting people's feelings but sometimes they won't leave you alone unless you do say something truly insensitive, especially if their friends are determined to hook you up. Ugh...

 

[Troidal]

Well I think its one of those moments that you were being honest [that you weren't interested], it just came out the wrong way, LOL.

 

[Ghost]

I did almost exactly the same thing only it was the heavy girls BBQ and her parents were standing about 3 feet away from me at the time, funny thing was her dad almost pissed his pants with laughter, his mum on the other hand...lets just say im not welcome back there anymore.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

College, freshman biology lab. There was a girl in there that was a lil manish. I was looking in the microscope and she came over to look at the slide. I didn't recognize it was her and I looked away from the slide when she said, "Can I see?" I turned briefly to look at her and just saw the short hair and was like, 'Hold on dude!'

Of course, everybody heard and I immediately felt embarrased for her and me cuz I said it like she was a guy. I quickly looked back into the microscope. After she left, everybody started laughing and getting on me for calling her a guy. Oh well. I wasn't trying to be funny. It was just one of those times when you use those subtle clues to identify people and lesbians/gays throw a wrench in the party. BTW, I have nothing against lesbians. I support them. I relate to them.

 

[mrmyth]

Sometimes being an ass works. Hell, most times being an ass works.


There was this girl that started at my first real job about six months after I did. Complete fucking knockout. Light-skinned Mexican, long-ass legs, an ass that could give Shakira ass-lessons. She was completely used to men swooning over her. One day we're both heading toward the copier. I was in a shitty mood, so I sped up and cut her off. She stops, clears her throat, and goes, "Excuse me, ladies first."

I said, " I know. But I didn't see any ladies, so I went ahead."

She talked about that comment to her circle all day. She couldn't believe Somebody insinuated that she wasn't the bomb. She started coming by my work area. We eventually ended up screwing like rabbits that whole summer. Looks-wise, I still haven't topped that girl. Too bad she was a psycho hosebeast.

 

[mightynine]

This may suck, but it's the most recent one I can think of.

I went to Best Buy to pick up a DVD rack. It doesn't come in a box, just has a little wraparound thing, so the female checkout artist says "Just keep the receipt out in case they ask about your rack." I go, "Well, that would be the first time someone has asked me about my rack." I got a chuckle.

Or, there's the other night at the bar. This extremely attractive girl I had just met a few days ago walks in, and after a few moments deciding whether or not I should bother, I figure what the hell. She's quite drunk, and I'm not quite as drunk, so I'm just messing around and ask her how come she's not here with her boyfriend. She says she doesn't have one, so I act mock outraged and go on how she could have any guy in this place, especially the one right in front of us, if he wasn't so preoccupied with putting his tongue down some other's girl throat. I think the fact that she was pretty lit helped the humor with that one.

Or there was the time I told the stripper I wished I'd earned this lapdance instead of having my friends pay for it. True story.

 

[impirius]

But one day they were joking around and the guy was pushing girls and running from em. So I got no clue how I come to this but I decide to join in. I take a running start and throw this girl to the ground. Then hear her getting up saying "what the fuck?! Matt, what the fuck is your friend doing. You better take care of him". Needless to say I turned hella red and just decided to forget about attention from girls and getting to be friends with any of them.

It's like KiNeSiS used to say

"If it has a rack, you should push it over"

 

[Cubsfan23]

I said, " I know. But I didn't see any ladies, so I went ahead.

cocky and funny

 

[McLesterolBeast]

You had "potential" to make out with a fat bitch and said something mildly offensive. This was certainly worth starting a thread about.

 

[Mike Works]

You had "potential" to make out with a fat bitch and said something mildly offensive. This was certainly worth starting a thread about.

Why would you say this after 40+ worthwhile/entertaining responses?

 

[RevenantKioku]

Why would you say this after 40+ worthwhile/entertaining responses?

Perhaps he wasn't being sarcastic, but that concept blows my mind.

 

[shuri]

Well today I made fun of my boss's hometown right in his face, without knowing he grew up there.

 

[Kiriku]

I remember this party a girl in my class was having a few years ago. During the evening, I was confronted with her and her cousin, who was kind of drunk. Her cousin asked me:

"Who is the cutest girl, my cousin here or me?"

Of course, being an honest man, I answered "Your cousin."

Obviously it wasn't the answer she had been expecting. So out of nowhere, she tried to slap me.
Good thing she was drunk, I just managed to back away before being hit. Then I simply walked away. End of story.

 

[The Shadow]

I said, " I know. But I didn't see any ladies, so I went ahead."

Did you consciously think of that, or did it just pop out?

 

[Mugen]

alright... while waiting in the sidelines to play badminton, a friend of an aquiantance (girl) who I kinda like, introduced herself to me which caught me by surprise because I assumed she wouldn't recognize me that I went to same school as her. Though that guy that he went to badminton with (a guy that I don't really know but sometimes talk = aquiantance), was a preety cool guy. Guy who everybody knows kinda deal. But anyways, after she introduced herself, I introduced myself also (of course) and we kinda get into a conversation.

Everything was going well UNTIL... I called her by her friend's name. The girl's name is some bitch I don't really like (I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WILL SAY HER NAME OF ALL THE NAMES I COULD SAY). But anyways, after I said the wrong name, there was a loong pause that went on and finally ending with that guy she went with calling her to play badminton with him. And while she walks away, I put my head down in shame and bang it in the wall right after. Ahhh good times...

 

[EmSeta]

I say stuff like that to girls all the time. Jokingly, of course. You should have passed it off as a joke.