Hey kids! Do you like Patlabor? TOO BAD. Its DEAD. GO THE FUCK HOME.
Okay, okay, maybe Im overreacting a little bit, but give me just awhile to explain where Im at with this movie and why Im not happy about it. To do that, Im going to give just a brief rundown of how I feel about the whole series and let you go from there. As such this post serves as mainly my thoughts on the movie but also my feelings about the entire franchise.
Patlabor on Television was my first brush with this franchise, and I loved it. It introduced an incredibly well-rounded female lead, a stellar supporting cast and a well-thought-out world in which giant robots made sense and functioned and evolved in believable ways. It was perhaps the most down to earth Mecha anime Id seen, and it was funny to boot. Izumi Noa wasnt overly sexualized, she wasnt completely dependent on guys to do things for her, and at the same time she wasnt a hyper competent badass, either. She had strengths, weaknesses, moments of incredible determination and endearing vulnerability. She had important relationships with other women at the SV2 and conversations with them that were independent from men. She earned those relationships and they developed naturally. Its not hard for me to consider that Izumi is the best written woman in any anime Ive ever watched.
The New Files, then, was just as well received. It helped give closure to the whole thing for me. Sure, Gotoh never hooked up with Shinobu, but at least we got some insight into how she felt about him. Sure, Asuma never hooked up with Izumi, but at least we got to learn why hed even joined the SV2 in the first place. It was full of touching moments and action that helped to finish things off. Even series-specific character Kumagami got to develop and have her own friendship with Kanuka forged.
Early Days continued the series tone and I think that tone reached its peak in Movie 1. There were serious moments and struggles, but on the whole it was an energetic experience about the team I had known for many episodes coming together to take on a bigger challenge. The final showdown between Izumi and the possessed Zero had me on the edge of my seat.
But then I watched Movie 3 and things changed. For starters, Izumi and Asuma were reduced to cameos. There was CGI. BAD CGI. The entire plot was centered on two side characters who were of minimal importance to the TV series, OVAs, and first movie. Theres a sequence in the first movie where these two side characters are doing legwork to track down the villain. This movie felt a lot like that sequence stretched into an entire film, and it wasnt fun. It wasnt bad, it was just incredibly dull.
The film centered on their investigation into a serial killing where the serial killer was a giant penis monster made out of cancer cells. I dont think any major Patlabor character featured in this film for more than ten minutes total. The entire experience wouldve been surreal had it not been so dull. But what I didnt know was that a lot of it was also a sign of things I could expect in the next movie. Where Patlabor 1 was colorful and energetic, Patlabor 2 was bleak, washed out and oppressive.
The plot of Patlabor 2 centers on a terrorist attempting to plunge Tokyo or Japan into a civil war. He developed the idea of military grade Labors and watched the first team of them die when HQ sat on its ass and did nothing. Not surprisingly, a whole lot of nothing happens in this movie because the events of the film are part of his orchestrated attempt to make all of Japan feel what he felt in that moment.
I cant rightly tell you that this movie is bad. It probably isnt. But I didnt really like it, either. In a way, it reminded me of Zeta Gundam, if Tominos method of getting fans to let go of Gundam had been something other than murdering the entire cast of Gundam. Because this movie is most certainly about letting go. The main villain is a man, after all, who cannot let go of what happened to him.
To put it bluntly, it felt to me like the point of this movie was to convince the audience to let go of Patlabor and to do that by framing the entire thing as one giant set up to Captain Gotoh letting go of his long-time attraction to Captain Nagumo. I feel that every aspect of this movie reflects these two main points, and I will attempt to explain that.
The movie uses a sort of grey-scale palette of colors to create a sort of repressed setting. This setting represents both the writers feelings of entrapment by the franchise and Gotohs own imprisonment within his interest in Shinobu. The seeds of the eventual emotional divorce are sown early on: Shinobu has received a promotion, the entire crew of the SV2 has moved on to other jobs, Izumi isnt piloting Alphonse, and, most important of all, Shinobu suddenly has a long lost love interest. This is important for two reasons: the first is that this lost flame is the films central antagonist and figures heavily into the split between Shinobu and Gotoh and the second is that this character has never once been mentioned in any other Patlabor work. Combining the two together leads me to feel that the character must have been introduced for this purpose.
All of these elements represent the way the writer feels about the work. Izumis not piloting Alphonse anymore because Oshii isnt interested in writing about it happening anymore. At one point she goes so far as to say I dont want to be known as the girl whos interested in giant robots my whole life. And if thats not a statement about wanting to move on from this franchise, I dont know what is. Everywhere you look in the movie the cast has moved on. Shinshi has a baby and a desk job, Otas training cadets, The Old Mans retired with Shige taking over his job, Kanukas in America, and so on. Everybodys moved on, and its time we did, too.
A major moment in the film is a protracted dialogue between Gotoh and one of the Japanese Intelligence agency members debating the difference between Unjust Peace and Just War. In the film this is a commentary on the present situation, but in the context weve been discussing it takes on a different meaning. It becomes a consideration of Gotohs relationship with Shinobu. It clearly isnt a sincere and just relationship, since Gotohs attraction to Shinobu frequently puts him at a disadvantage to her, whilst Shinobus ironwalled attitude creates the situations where she can take advantage of him whether she realizes it or not. At one point in the film she exclaims I see now just how much your promise to me meant to you! which is a painfully harsh condemnation of a man who has at numerous points gone well out of his way to help and cover for her. The Just War would be the very deserved enmity that could come of such a friendship. The conversations meaning then boils down to this: Is it okay for Gotoh to continue to pine for Shinobu in silence if it means that he may someday come to hate her openly? Is it okay for Oshii to keep making Patlabor movies when he doesnt really want to if it means making fans happy? Even though one day he will come to hate Patlabor if he does?
As the movie carries on, Shinobus trust in Gotoh continues to deteriorate despite the fact that her own actions are just as if not even more questionable than his own. At every step she makes terrible decisions because she once loved Tsuge and isnt over him yet. Shinobu cant move on and that creates huge problems for Gotoh. She trails Tsuge into a trap on a boat without telling anyone, but when she sees his face she loses her nerve and he slips out of her fingers. In this same scene her relationship deteriorates even further when a horde of cops arrive because Gotoh tipped them off (even though it was her mother who called him, worried about her). The film is full of instances of Gotoh going to great lengths to try and help Shinobu and at every turn being rebuffed by her.
The movies climax comes when Shinobu confronts Tsuge as the reassembled SV2 dismantles his operations. She quotes to him a verse from The Bible in which The Lord warns that He will divide the people. This verse refers to Tsuges plan to turn Japan into war on itself, but also to the state of contradiction Shinobu finds herself in with the men in her life and the fans and Oshii find themselves in. As the movie closes, the villain, Tsuge, still cannot move on from the franchise, discussing what will happen in the films future. Gotoh, however, upon seeing that Shinobu has yet to actually move on from Tsuge, turns his eyes to the celebrating SV2 and remarks I guess, in the end, theyre all I really have. This symbolizes that after 50 episodes and numerous ovas and movies, Gotoh has at last let go of his attraction to Shinobu and moved on from her. Now it is time for the fans and the writer to let go as well and move on with their lives.
EXCEPT that Gotoh doesnt have them, either. Sure, they came when he called, but theyre not around anymore. Sure he can rely on them in a pinch but theres nothing else in this movie to really indicate that Gotoh spends time with them the way he used to or talks to them very much at all. We never actually see him interact with any of them, and even at the end he is physically far away from them. So for me, at least, the ending isnt Gotoh moves on and is instead Gotoh is abandoned by everyone which is almost as horrible and depressing as the rest of the movie.
I wont say this was a bad movie, but I wont say it was one I enjoyed either. I cannot help but hate a movie that builds itself entirely around depressing the audience into moving on from it. I cannot bring myself to like a film so blatantly devoid of interest in what made the franchise great that it actively avoids it. Like Patlabor III theres barely any mecha fighting going on, and most of the cast are absent. Its just 2 long, dreary hours of Oshii attempting to convince fans that theres nothing left to see by draining their will to carry on. And thats my generous opinion of the film. In the heat of the moment Im tempted to write the entire production off as it being the worlds longest and gloomiest NTR, in which we watch the hero quietly sit by and lose the woman of his dreams to a mass murderer as she herself suddenly becomes colder and bitchier than shes ever been before simply to hammer an artificial wedge between them and really bludgeon the point that HEY ITS OVER MOVE THE FUCK ON KIDDOS into your heads.
Patlabor II is grey, depressing, and a lot like riding a slow moving, flat rollercoaster in a rainstorm. You dont go anywhere and youve had a net value of negative fun by the end. Id compare it to death by asphyxiation except Im pretty sure thats more colorful than this film was. I dont think Patlabor II was bad, but I fucking hate it just the same.