Strangest things to happen in class

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Artanisix said:
I didn't go to a really ghetto highschool or anything (lived out in the suburbs of Northern California), but there was some weird shit that went down.

First off, my Spanish teacher was odd. She was very weak -- quiet, non-intimidating, unexcitable voice; a broken hip which made her stutter step everywhere; and shaped like a piece of candy corn. Everyone made fun of her broken hip, I remember someone writing "hips don't lie" on the door to her classroom in permanent marker and she ended up resigning that school year. Also, because her voice volume was so low, she used a speaker wrapped around her stomach to amplify her output. This didn't really solve anything because while the volume would be loud, the voice wasn't commanding at all. One day in class, no one wanted to listen to her, so some student yelled out, "I'M A CHICKEN CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK," and then another student screamed, "I'M A COW!! MOOOOO MOOOOO," and then next thing I knew, the whole fucking class was moaning like farm animals. I joined in too, I made horse noises and shit, and we did that the whole class period while she cried at the desk. Also she never gave us any real work, all the extra credit coloring papers were worth more than the final in terms of points, so everyone just did those and ignored the rest.

Okay, what else. Our music teacher was universally hated by every student. Someone ended up taking a literal shit on his grand piano. Everyone made Matrix jokes because his name was Mr. Anderson. And he also had a twin brother who was a successful businessman, so he was made fun of for being the "least successful" of the two.

Speaking of shit, one morning in the 9th grade -- I had P.E. 1st period -- someone had used one of their own logs and drenched the locker room handle in poop. They also drew a smiley face on the door with it too. We didn't have P.E. that day and had to sit out on the bleachers in the cold.

A kid I knew started crying and screaming because I stole his gatorade and played football with it.

A guy chased me through the whole school with a giant staff on Halloween because I creeped up behind him and swiped his hat off his head. He said he was supposed to be a monk but he looked more like a fucked up character from Runescape 1. I didn't want to die so I threw his hat on the ground. I wasn't trying to steal it or anything, was just doing it for shits and giggles. This guy also wore diapers and called me a fatass constantly, even though he was extremely obese and I was fit.

Oh yeah, there was this extraordinarily mean russian guy I used to hang out with. One day, he stole one of those rubber tracking balls from a mouse in the computer room. He put it in a gum wrapper he had found on the ground, and he gave it to a mentally retarded kid. The kid started eating it because he thought it was legitimately gum. This russian guy also used to call one of my friends "Nacho Cheese" because my friend would always eat nachos at lunch.

Bunch of dudes got naked during school hours and started rolling down the track field, I think they were drunk or some shit, not sure. They were suspended.

Can't think of more right now, but I know there are some things I'm missing.
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What the fuck is wrong with you? O__o
 
All at my highschool:

- The year before I went there, some teacher tried to kill herself by jumping from the balcony... the 2nd floor, 15ft high balcony... she just broke her leg and went right back to teaching.

- The Vice Principal saw some kid vandalizing another student's car in the parking lot right after school and approached yelling; the kid takes off running and our 5'-6", chubby, middle-aged VP sprints after him and dive-tackles him into the grass. Kid was suspended and had to pay for the damages.

- On the bus ride to school, a kid was smoking weed from his bong hidden in his backpack. The bus driver obviously smelled it but didn't make it known, she just radioed in and had them call the school's on-site Sheriffs. We get to school, everyone gets off the bus and the two deputies make a B-line right to the pot-head and take him in. How did they know it was him? From the trail of smoke billowing from his backpack, he accidentally lit it on fire. lol.

- One kid wanted to be "cool" and smoked some weed from the "cool kids." Then the "cool kids" went to security and said "That kid is smoking weed," and collected the $50 reward for turning him in. lol!
 
Stories of when I was in the school:
-My last year of high school a kid got super drunk at the afterprom, pulled down his pants in the middle of the hotel, took a dump and then passed out on the ground for the rest of the night.
-grade 11 or 12 a bunch of gang members for some reason decided to show up at our school and for no real reason decided to pick a fight with a lot of the black kids. A brawl ensued highlights were my math teacher punching a few of the gang members in self defense and one of my buddy's jumping on top of one of their cars and smashing a trash can into the windshield.
-friend of mine on the first day of high school got his tearaways ripped off revealing he was only wearing tighty whities underneath. Everyone formed a circle around him and laughed. A teacher had to come and cover him up and escort him out.

Stories of before and after I was in the school:
-few years before I came to the high school I heard a story of one of our basketball players while playing in a rival school dunked on a guy, stood over him, beat his chest and called him a "pussy". The stands emptied and a brawl ensued.
-A year after I left the school was locked down, some idiot decided to show up to school with a bb gun. The faculty thought it was a real gun obviously.
 
DonMigs85 said:
Artanisix sure was a huge jerk.
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Hieberrr said:
What the fuck is wrong with you? O__o
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Young and dumb bro, this was over 7 years ago. Although the kid whose gatorade I took was in our circle of friends at the time, so I didn't understand why he ended up crying. I didn't notice he was that upset until I touchdown'd it across the field and noticed he was sitting down in the field with his face in his hands. Felt bad man.
 
The father of someone a year ahead of my class in HS was sent to prison for drug trafficking

A couple of years later his brother committed a double murder and was sent to prison

A couple of years later his mother was convicted of trying to hire a hitman to kill the main witness against his brother
 
FStop7 said:
The father of someone a year ahead of my class in HS was sent to prison for drug trafficking

A couple of years later his brother committed a double murder and was sent to prison

A couple of years later his mother was convicted of trying to hire a hitman to kill the main witness against his brother
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So, party at his house.
 
I remembered one!

In my primary school, there were thus group of Bengali girls in my year. None of them spoke any English so they just kept themselves to themselves. Anyway, in a year 4 assembly I was sitting behind one of them and the sun was shining through the window right onto her hair. In the light, I could see headlice crawling all over the back of her head and then burying themselves back into her hair. It was like an ant farm on her head.
 
- In 8th or 9th grade we were in PE doing floor exercises. Everyone sucked beside of one girl who used to do gym outside school. Each in turn we had to present a routine in front of everyone. It was finally the turn of the duffer of the class. He was doing his routine then out of nowhere he decided to execute a front flip. He ended up lamentably the face on the floor with a broken collarbone. The whole class burst in laugh. I remember I was in tears, my stomach was painful from the laugh. The PE teacher kept (miraculously) a straight face and took the guy to the infirmery.

- In high school the french teacher was absent two whole weeks after he asked us to read a book with a ton of pages. When he was back he had dark circles and smelled the smoke. He told us his house had burned and his daughter was severely ill (poor luck he was a great teacher). He also told us that the test about that book burned with his house as well (I read the damn book for nothing !).
 
6th grade - when 9/11 happened. the assistant principal came in and told my math teacher the news. Mind you all of the students were clueless about the attack. then my math teacher stopped her lesson and explained what happened. We could actually see the smoke of the WTT from our classroom window.

9th grade - My teacher was reading us a book on the holocaust and she fell back off the desk, hit her head on the chalkboard and got up like it was nothing. funniest shit ever.
 
Haven't had the time to read the whole thread yet but I just got to say that the pretzel story on page 2 (or page 1 for elitists) had me in tears.
 
My high school's AP chemistry teacher killed himself a few years after graduation. He had a drinking problem (visibly drunk during class frequently) and his wife left him. That pushed him over the edge.
 
In secondary modern school, a kid wore long underpants one day because it was Winter and very cold outside. He had forgotten that he had physical education that day, and his gym pants were short pants. So he just wore them above his long underpants. It looked hilarious.

That was me.
 
From top of my head:
1-3 grade, dont recall, this mentally challenged girl was taking a shit in front of the school in yard so when everyone got out for recess(15 minutes outside) hundreds of kids saw her and all laughed, was biggest shit I ever saw in my life and like green color O_O

10th grade we decided to demolish our classroom, took all chairs and tables and dumped them in corners, made huge hole in the wall and many small ones in the ceiling... lol

In 7th grade I took this spray that smells like, well worst smell and sprayed accross school, didn't have some classes that day. Then sometimes bubble gum in classroom lock so we can't get in, didn't work most of times.
In ~7-8th grade I got habit of destroying things over school including light switches, power switches, chairs, threw some out of window and teacher got kid to rat on who it was, brought him to classroom but he was scared to tell lol
I was hyperactive and crazy kid, also somewhat of a bully, rarely physical but I made fun of people and felt superior to everyone(now that I think about it I had narcissism even then heh). Later I regreted most of it tho, it wasn't anything serious or harmful just mean stuff but in HS I protected minorities and bullied people, it sucks.

Could have been more but I started skipping school to play WoW(fail) and can't remember right now :p


Oh and lots of fights, kids/parents weren't pussies like today, fight it out and get back to normal tomorrow.
 
The last day of school before graduation, myself and about 15 people all dressed up as characters from Dragon Ball Z and chased each other around the halls for more than half the day, producing very audible sound effects. I was adult Gohan lol.

I might actually still have pictures of this somewhere on my old laptop.
 
FStop7 said:
The father of someone a year ahead of my class in HS was sent to prison for drug trafficking

A couple of years later his brother committed a double murder and was sent to prison

A couple of years later his mother was convicted of trying to hire a hitman to kill the main witness against his brother
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Damn.
 
Nothing too crazy, a girl in front of me pissed herself in fourth grade. One girl in my freshmen year health class couldn't take how in-depth our sex education unit was and fainted in her seat while reading aloud about the testes.
 
Lionel Mandrake said:
In college, I was in a communications class. It was a presentation day, and everyone was waiting for their turn to give their report. Then as one of the people is going on about their subject, the professor just goes, "Oh!" We see that a girl has thrown up all over her desk and dropped her face down into it. It was unclear if she was passed out, cringing in pain, or what. The professor told us all to go stand outside the classroom. So we're all gathered around, looking inside, trying to figure out what's happening.

The professor says, call the nurse. And somebody else yells. "Someone go buy her some pretzels!" I didn't know what the fuck pretzels were supposed to do, but they said it with so much assured authority that I called back, "I'm on it!" And ran downstairs to the vending machines. There's like a line, and I'm pushing people out of the way, yelling "Emergency! I gotta get these pretzels!" I hit the wrong button, I get jelly beans or some shit. I think, "Will jelly beans work?" But that person specifically said pretzels. So I put more money in, leave the jelly beans and run back up with my pretzels.

As I'm running down the hall, I pass by some guys with an oxygen tank and first-aid kit, heading to class. I'm outrunning them, because I have it in my mind that these pretzels are essential. I get to the crowd and I'm all, "It's okay! I got the pretzels." Everyone just ignores me, and I'm kind of pissed, because they were a dollar. Not to mention the jelly beans. So the medic people come in and put her in the chair. I'm standing there with pretzels, like a jackass. They get her conscious and stuff. I try again, "Hey, give her these pretzels." Someone finally takes the pretzels and hands it off into the crowd. They wheel the girl out and take her to the elevator, and she's completely out of it, but I see that someone placed the bag of pretzels on her lap and she's clutching onto them, clearly unaware of what the hell they are. And the whole time I'm thinking "Pretzels were not as essential to this as people had me believe." Anyway, I was out $2 and I never saw that girl again.
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Lost it here. Great story.
 
I just remembered. In an oral communications (speech) class I had in college, we were all supposed to deliver three speeches each throughout the semester. On the last day we had to deliver a persuasive speech about a common problem that exists in society that people don't pay enough attention to. We were allowed to choose the topic and I chose DLC in video games, double-dipping into popular franchises like Capcom does with Street Fighter and locking out game modes like MS did with Halo 3, and other things like re-releases of films with a little bit more content each time. Anyway, another person after me talked about the use of hormones in milk cows and how it can be detrimental to society. After I went and this other person went (with the milk topic), there was only one person left to deliver their speech.

It was a guy and he came up and started to introduce his topic like this: "Today, I'm not going to talk to you about milk or video games or any insignificant bullshit like that. I want to talk about the gaping hole in the Earth right now, spilling billions of gallons of toxic oil into our oceans...." At this point, the professor, a kind elderly woman who barely ever spoke above a whisper, lost it. She started screaming at him for being inconsiderate and disrespectful of the other presenters. And it was just the saddest thing to sit there and watch the poor guy crumble because even though his intro was kind of douchey, it was obviously made on the fly since he didn't know what our topics were until a few minutes prior. We all spent weeks working on our speeches in order to get the timing right and I guess this guy just left it until the last minute. He tried to apologize but the professor was having none of it and at that point the class was ending and I just turned in my index cards and left because the scene was just terrible.
 
-A kid was celebrating after scored on a indoor soccer game, he hold the top of the goal with his hand and the goal fell on his head smashing it into pieces ( He was from HS and i was on 4th grade,i didn't know him)
-Drama teacher killed himself with a gun
-There was a fat kid on HS who worked as a DJ at night and nicknamed himself DJ Salomon(lol) he got bullied during a entire year before letting the school, his father owned a barbecue shop who was constantly robbed by some guys of my class
 
ledman said:
-A kid was celebrating after scored on a indoor soccer game, he hold the top of the goal with his hand and the goal fell on his head smashing it into pieces ( He was from HS and i was on 4th grade,i didn't know him)
-Drama teacher killed himself with a gun
-There was a fat kid on HS who worked as a DJ at night and nicknamed himself DJ Salomon(lol) he got bullied during a entire year before letting the school, his father owned a barbecue shop who was constantly robbed by some guys of my class
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Ha kind of ironic.
 
Theres more but thats for the anonymous confession thread.

And i just remembered in 5th grade there was this Iranian kid named Massud. One day he tells us that he and his parents have to go to Iran because of some emergency. He gets permission from school and everything. Neighter we or the public authorities have ever heard of them again.
 
Woorloog said:
It was windy outside and a window got sucked close, shattering. Kinda looked like someone had jumped through the window.
A math teacher started by reminding us of basics and wrote "2+2=5".
Other than that, can't remember any odd incidents.



I have a graphite mark on my right hand, i got it some ten years ago: i sharpened a pencil a bit too much and then i somehow managed to stick to my right hand.
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I did the same thing i still see it in my hand. 28 now.

SomeOneInaHat said:
In 10th grade some kids cellphone started ringing during class. After about 10 minute worth of searching and asking to confess the teacher eventually called the on campus police to help with the situation. The cops eventually confiscated 10 peoples' cellphones, but that isn't where the story ends. One kid, the one I suspected to be the original cause of the problem, refused to give up his phone throwing out excuse after excuse about why he should keep his phone. After a lengthy back and forth between the cops and a kid who is now crying, the kid ends it all by saying,"If you want my phone, GO GET IT!", and then throwing his cellphone across the room towards the officers.

He was arrested.
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Having police in school is a fucking stupid idea. Would never happen in Germany.
 
I still have bits of graphite in both my hands from accidentally stabbing myself with my mechanical pencil in junior high- glad I'm not the only one. What the fuck is up the shit stories though?
 
I was once answering a question in class when one of my classmates had a seizure.

Yeah, that got weird.
 
My spanish teacher would frequently let us out of class a couple minutes before it actually ended. Being the last class before lunch, this caused us to be out and about in the halls right before lunch when the hallways were completely dead. One day when that happened I was walking towards the main stairs of our school (like if you were to go through the entrance of the school there would be a huge staircase) and noticed our principal exiting an office on the main floor. He didn't see me at the top of the stairs. He then looked around as if to see if anyone were watching and then spread his arms out and starting flapping them like a bird for about 10 seconds using his head (bobbing) and shoulders (shrugging) too. He then stopped and just walked away as if nothing happened.

I swear the guy was baked half the time at school, another time he was picking up litter and came to my group of friends with a garbage can. As we all threw our garbage in, he threw his coffee (empty) down on the ground in front of us and went "woops that's mine" and put it in the garbage.
 
- Oh, in tech high, would be like 10th grade in the US, our Janitor threw a fit. He was constantly displeased with the way we cleaned the blackboard, "cleaning not licking!", and various other stuff. One day, he was so pissed he said, "Under Hitler, you would all have been gassed!!"
Boom!!! Don't know what happened afterwards
-Same school, same year, we had a German teacher who was a chronic alcoholic. Very often heavily smelt of wine. Went into rehab, came back, went into rehab again, then we got a new teacher.
 
Some of these are absolutely nuts.

Strangest thing I can remember is from Grade 5. I couldn't tell at the time but it turns out that our teacher was gay, eventually quitting his job and moving on to television acting as a drag queen.

Also in Grade 7 a classmate jumped out of a 2nd story window - he was fine afterwards.
 
FoxSpirit said:
- Oh, in tech high, would be like 10th grade in the US, our Janitor threw a fit. He was constantly displeased with the way we cleaned the blackboard, "cleaning not licking!", and various other stuff. One day, he was so pissed he said, "Under Hitler, you would all have been gassed!!"
Boom!!! Don't know what happened afterwards
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Holy fucking shit. How old was this guy? How long ago was this?
 
Weird stuff in my school-er-ing:

- When I was in like 1st grade a girl whispered in my ear, "I like you", and then she kept being little girl horny by like calling me "Tiger", and kissing me on the cheek, and showing her panties to me the rest of the year. I was like 6 so it did nothing for me

- In 4th Grade I was like class clown and would like talk in spanish and follow behind the teacher and pulling my pants down and making weird faces; for some reason the teacher allowed me to do all this

- In 8th Grade I think everyone hit puberty together so I think everyone had started basically giving oral to everyone else; I had like a shitload of sex at school, as did everyone else in the "cool" clique. Also I had a cool math teacher who would like sing the formulas for quadratic equations on the guitar and that was neat

- Also also in 8th Grade, there was this kid who ran off campus and was chased around by the gym teacher on a golf cart to get him back to class and no one ever caught him

- In 10th grade there was this big man on campus dude who was sort of weird, and would like pull the main power breaker for the school when he was bored and just treated everyone like shit including the teachers. turns out he was actually semi-homeless and he actually burnt down a house, then blamed it on ghosts. it was on the news:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c5e_1189180193

later on i found out he was 8th grade math teacher's son.
 
Great idea for a thread; here's mine:

In high school, we were playing a hockey game against our biggest rivals. During the 2nd period, most of our students threw tea bags on the ice,and got ejected from the arena. As a result, all the students from the other school tried to leave as well to go fight us. The cops were called and barricaded everyone inside the building until the game ended. They tried to make everyone in the parking lot go home, but when the game ended and they let everyone out, a huge fight broke out.

Once I went into 1st period gym to see an eviscerated deer hanging from the basketball hoop. D
on't think they ever found who did it.

As a senior prank, some kids burned a giant dick into our brand new astroturf field. Taxpayers had to pay for repairs.

Once to break up a fight between two girls (security was afraid to lay hands on them), a gym teacher, a former NFL player, tossed a girl into a glass case, cracking it. She still wouldn't stop going after the other girl, so he literally carried her away by her neck.

One week we had 4 bomb threats. I found it strange that they evacuated us to the same location each time... made me really nervous.
 
I think I've posted this somewhere on GAF before, but I had an Algebra II teacher my junior year of high school that had an interesting way of explaining functions.

X's are girls, and Y's are guys. If an X has more than one Y, then she's a slut, and it's not a function. If a Y has more than one X, then he's a stud, and it's a function.
 
Hylian7 said:
I think I've posted this somewhere on GAF before, but I had an Algebra II teacher my junior year of high school that had an interesting way of explaining functions.

X's are girls, and Y's are guys. If an X has more than one Y, then she's a slut, and it's not a function. If a Y has more than one X, then he's a stud, and it's a function.
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That can't have gone well for certain students in that class.
 
My capstone Leadership class for my degree had a couple awkward moments in presentations. One was this girl who was pretty cute doing a presentation with an awkwardly extremely low position of her jeans on her waist where she was probably an inch from pussy territory. No one said anything it though, was kind of quietly weird through the whole time she was presenting though and you're basically seeing her whole midsection below her belly button.

Another presentation in the same class was about leadership in a movie and one group did 'Remember the Titans.' Note that our professor was black and a girl was talking about Coach Boone, the character Denzel portrayed in the movie. She had a slip of the tongue and called him 'Coach Coon' and my professor started laughing like crazy along with a few people in the class. Her face turned bright red like a tomato she was so embarrassed, I seriously felt embarrassed for her, worst possible time for a slip.
 
7th grade: Math teacher got overly frustrated with a student that was hard to deal with (he was obnoxious and socially dysfunctional at the same time) and took his desk and slammed it against the wall in a fit of rage. Not sure if anyone said anything to the administration or their parents because he didn't seem to of been reprimanded in any way.

8th grade: One girl passed out in class from not eating enough. She was anorexic. Same year some kid stole his dad's nitro glycerin pills and swallowed them in the bathroom at school in hopes to kill himself. Ambulance came and they pumped his stomach at the hospital.

Freshman year: Someone slipped a viagra in this guy's orange juice at lunch. Had a stiff one all day long as well as track practice after school. Everyone got questioned (we knew who did it and so did the kid who took it) but no one ever got punished for it somehow.

Junior year: Saw two girls fighting in the lunch room and one girl ripped out the other girls weave. A freshman asked another freshman to marry him in front of hundreds of people in the lunch room. She said yes.

All I can think of for now.
 
French lessons were fun. Any one hour lesson would have at least one of these things occurring:

- Glue sticks suddenly appearing either on the ceiling, or behind the teacher on the whiteboard without him ever noticing.

- The tables being turned around to face the wrong way, forcing our teacher to teach us from the wrong side of the classroom, using notepads as a substitute for the whiteboard.

- The entire class speaking in broken spanish and broken italian when asked to attempt speaking any form of french

- all of the chairs ending up mysteriously disappearing and ending up in the boy's toilets one by one, each time the teacher had his back to the class.

- the entire class escaping out of the window, leaving our confused teacher completely unaware of what was happening behind him until all the students were gone.

- One time, a sixth former ran into our class wearing nothing but a pair of womans knickers, pushed our teacher into the cupboard and locked it.

I got an F in French.

My Maths teacher had short term memory issues (for real)

"Lewis, where's your homework? Why haven't you done it?"
"Richard hasn't done his sir"
*gives me detention, forgets completely about lewis*

and

*shouts at us for throwing ink all over another student called scott, then goes out back to get something*
"SCOTT! WHY HAVE YOU GOT INK ALL OVER YOURSELF?"
"but they threw it at me, you just shouted at them"
" DON'T BE SO STUPID! DETENTION. TONIGHT."

fucking hilarious. no one ever turned up to his detentions because he always forgot he set them.
 
In grade 10 (we don't say 10th grade in Canada) there was a cat fight between two girls that sat in front of me in English. Pretty sure a boob popped out.
 
Its been a while since I've been in school (96-00, yea, I'm an old fart), anyways, here's some of the stories I remember.

We had a bomb threat called in and we were evacuated from our classrooms into the courtyard of the school. The cops were doing their investigation and found a strange bag under a bench with some strange powder in it. It ended up being a student's bag with some tang in it. Also, they found out who called in the bomb threat, it was the Vice Principal's son (the VP was let go at the end of the year).

On a sad note, we had someone pass away during the 4 years I went there.

This didn't happen at my school, but one of the homecoming floats one year was burned to a crisp when some idiot fired a cap gun next to it and the gun sparked. The class still put the float in the parade.

I won $100 for putting the most time into our senior year homecoming float (and we won, after getting screwed by the class before us the 3 previous years).
 
In highschool maths class a kid shot a spitball and it hit the teacher on the face.

But the amazing part was that it actually STUCK there on his face and he had NO IDEA.

The whole class was laughing like crazy for about 10-15 minutes and the teacher just couldnt figure out why.

Then eventually he realised and flicked it off his face quickly.
Boy did he look pissed.
 
One of our subs was a creepy perv who would ask the girls to tie his shoes. He would sit on a desk and have his foot on a chair and he would tell the girls stories while they knelt down and tied his shoes. This is in the front of the class.

When we had a spelling test someone raised their hands and asked him how to spell that word. He started saying letters and everyone burst our laughing, pretty funny. Saw him at Costco later that year, he looked homeless.

One kid peeded his pants before a speech. Famous last words: "oh no"
 
richisawesome said:
- The tables being turned around to face the wrong way, forcing our teacher to teach us from the wrong side of the classroom, using notepads as a substitute for the whiteboard.

- all of the chairs ending up mysteriously disappearing and ending up in the boy's toilets one by one, each time the teacher had his back to the class.
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One of the grade 7 classes at my middle school did something similar to their homeroom teacher, who was a bit of a drunk. Every time he turned around to write on the blackboard everyone in class would move their desk an inch or so at a time. Classes were an hour and a half long. By the end of class every desk (these were the desks that had the chair attached mind you) had moved to within two feet of the front of the room, giving him just enough room to turn around. He left at the end of that year.
 
12th Grade- Robi-trippin (Robitussin ODing) became a cool thing for certain band kids to do. The one kid regularly did it at least twice a week. He would then start to act all loopy and proceed to lock himself in the uniform room for the whole day. He did this for a month until he slipped up and someone caught on. Shortly after this, he would regularly get sent out of the school to get his stomach pumped due to his Robitussin habits. He was eventually committed to rehab and never came back that school year.
 
Primary School

We had a pretty ancient primary school, pretty much classic old school Australian school where the toilet was literally a 100m walk from the classrooms. I must have been pretty young but I remember going to the toilet and sitting down, doing my business then turning around to see a great big fat toad sitting in the bowl surrounded in shit, scared the crap out of me.

I'm now 33 and still check the toilet bowl before sitting on it.

I remember we had a big hessian bag that would get filled with aluminium cans to be recycled and raise money for those school, it was underneath a big camphor floral tree which used to drop a ton of leaves. One lunch break we were playing soccer near it and one kid slid to kick the ball and kept sliding along the leaves and he knee went straight into one of those star shaped metal pegs\spikes holding the bag up. Took his kneecap right off clean. I can remember seeing 2 older girls carrying him to the sick bay and just seeing his knee all opened up.

A couple of years later the same kid's (or maybe it was his younger brother who took he kneecap off? not sure) mother was driving her mini moke doing the paper rounds and got cleaned up by a semi and died instantly. The kid was already a troublemaker so I can't imagine how fucked up he is now.

High School

Numerous fights between blood brothers, one set of which were aboriginal identical twins,
these weren't pansy fights either, full on brawls, slamming heads into the branches of trees and kicking each other in in the head while they were down.

I used to play basketball every lunch break and I remember one kid who wanted to dunk so another guy knelt down on all fours so he could jump off his back. The dunking kid ran up and smacked his arm almost center between the elbow and wrist and snapped it clean it 2, his arm just flopped there held together by skin and muscle. He must have been in shock or something as he just sat down and dangled it in front of his face laughing.
 
There was this one incident in High School where a girl in my Physics class slipped and hit her head on the edge of a workbench, fell and had a seizure right there on the floor. It was some freaky shit.
 
In 8th grade a kid sat on my chair during recess and had explosive diarrhea. I came back to class to witness the aftermath. My chair was dripping...

And the smell... oh LAWD the smell.

Poor kid though, he had to walk around with his clothes soaked in his own shit.
 
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