Stripper posts insane story on Twitter with more twists than a Shonda Rhimes script

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She goes "u can just check the guys in, he's not gna force u to trap" I said, "OH BITCH I KNOW HE NOT I KILL DEAD ASS KILL YALL" verbatim

Fav tweet of the bunch. The 'verbatim' made me laugh out loud at work.
 
"We pull up to KOD. Instantly the guys outside like, "DAMN! White girl strapped!" lol. Zola seemed a little insecure."

Jess please you're the Robin on that duo everyone knows.
 
Just read it, it's crazy and I believe it's just but it was a fun read.

This Jess this is killing it though, in a bad way. Don't do it.
 
Thousands of people Tweet the same sort of cringeworthy stuff with 100% sincerity

The cheese doesn't invalidate it

(Doesn't validate it either, obviously, but hey)
Reads like a back-n-forth you'd find on a show like Two Broke Girls is all. Trying too hard to be clever while failing miserably.
 
She's typing out those types really fast which leads me to believe that's a bunch of bullshit.

Especially with how "she" is trying to make it funny like Zola's. Someone definitely has this whole thing pre-written
 
What is this I'm reading

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I wonder if Jess' story will have any major differences. Because if she just tells the same exact story but from a different point of view and with minor differences then that'll be kinda lame, but if it's at all majorly different then that makes things interesting.
 
She's typing out those types really fast which leads me to believe that's a bunch of bullshit.

Especially with how "she" is trying to make it funny like Zola's. Someone definitely has this whole thing pre-written

Of course she wrote the whole thing down prior to her taking it to twitter. Doesn't make it any less - or more - true.
 
I think that's too obscure... but if we do Kryptonian and Klingon and Elvish and Angelus' weeabo translation and inscribe them all on massive stone tablets with the original story then maybe future generations of nerds will be able to understand AAVE after society collapses.

A "hoeseta stone" if you will.
I'm coming in a few pages late to clarify that Klingonese is the formal term. We can, however, discuss the contrast of the 'petaQ' "Klingon" and 'proper' "Klingonsese," and how it relates to differences between Standard English and AAVE.
 
Wait who is Xavier? Is that Z possibly and Zola just misunderstood the name and thought it was spelled with a Z? Xavier would be pronounced like a Z sound.
No, Xavier is huge black guy #1 from Zola's tale. Z was huge black guy #2.

I feel like some of you guys weren't paying Zola's story the attention it deserves. She makes a point to clarify that there are at least two huge black guys in this tale.

Could be, but she doesn't look that similar in the 4-panel spread put up by Zola. Facially, I mean.

Could be wrong, though.
She has her hair done up the same way in both pictures and her facial features are similar enough, IMO.
 
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