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[Foreign Jackass]

This is the first time I've ever used this boards as a blog, but now my anger is unbearable.

Three months ago, while riding the subway in Montreal, I accidently stepped on someone's foot when the sub driver hit the brakes for an unknown reason. The guy whose feets I stepped on was a 20-ish years old 250-pound fatass latino I shall hereby name "Fat-ass Latino". I turn to him, and say "Scuse", which in french is like, well, "Sorry". So Mr. Fat-ass Latino waits about 10 seconds, kicks my leg, and says "SCUSE". I look at him, just walk a couple of feet away from him. I just stand there, and when I get out of the sub a couple of stations later, he whispers "Tapette", which means, well, "Wuss."

So a couple of weeks ago, having completely forgotten about the incident, I get out of the subway station to get home, and I'm off to cross the street when I feel a kick on my leg. I turn around, and the fucker is there, looking at me. I just stop right there, and he keeps walking, and crosses the street, while at the same time looking at me and giving me fingers. Just as he gets on the bus on the other side of the street, he gives me another finger, while I'm just standing there, completely clueless.

And now, I just came back from work, and while pushing the door to get outside the subway station, I feel the same kick. I thought some guy was just eager to get out and had kicked my leg accidently. NO! IT'S THE SAME FUCKING MR. FAT ASS LATINO. I get outside, I yell "What the fuck is your problem???". He just walks backwards, crossing the street, and GIVES ME FINGERS WHILE WALKING FUCKING BACKWARDS CROSSING THE FUCKING STREET.

I'm thinking this guy isn't realistic enough to be real, and I might be getting completely mad and having hallucinations. Should I carry a gun or a weapon to shoot the fucker's head off, or look for medicination?

 

[impirius]

+

I don't know what to tell you... it's always tough to determine how to deal with people who don't have an ounce of sense or decency.

 

[darscot]

The sad apart your story is this guy is looking for a friend.

 

[Foreign Jackass]

The sad apart your story is this guy is looking for a friend.

I think he's looking for a lover.

 

[AlphaSnake]

Oh God. Please bump this thread if you see him again.

 

[Jewbacca]

Just punch him in the fucking neck.

 

[ManDudeChild]

This is the first time I've ever used this boards as a blog, but now my anger is unbearable.

Three months ago, while riding the subway in Montreal, I accidently stepped on someone's foot when the sub driver hit the brakes for an unknown reason. The guy whose feets I stepped on was a 20-ish years old 250-pound fatass latino I shall hereby name "Fat-ass Latino". I turn to him, and say "Scuse", which in french is like, well, "Sorry". So Mr. Fat-ass Latino waits about 10 seconds, kicks my leg, and says "SCUSE". I look at him, just walk a couple of feet away from him. I just stand there, and when I get out of the sub a couple of stations later, he whispers "Tapette", which means, well, "Wuss."

So a couple of weeks ago, having completely forgotten about the incident, I get out of the subway station to get home, and I'm off to cross the street when I feel a kick on my leg. I turn around, and the fucker is there, looking at me. I just stop right there, and he keeps walking, and crosses the street, while at the same time looking at me and giving me fingers. Just as he gets on the bus on the other side of the street, he gives me another finger, while I'm just standing there, completely clueless.

And now, I just came back from work, and while pushing the door to get outside the subway station, I feel the same kick. I thought some guy was just eager to get out and had kicked my leg accidently. NO! IT'S THE SAME FUCKING MR. FAT ASS LATINO. I get outside, I yell "What the fuck is your problem???". He just walks backwards, crossing the street, and GIVES ME FINGERS WHILE WALKING FUCKING BACKWARDS CROSSING THE FUCKING STREET.

I'm thinking this guy isn't realistic enough to be real, and I might be getting completely mad and having hallucinations. Should I carry a gun or a weapon to shoot the fucker's head off, or look for medicination?

The correct ending to this story is: back alley beat down of this fat fuck

 

[CB3]

The correct ending to this story is: back alley beat down of this fat fuck

+1

 

[Foreign Jackass]

I hate to look like a weak guy, but fighting a humongous mass of 250-300 pounds of latino fat doesn't look too good from my point of view. It'd make for a very entertaining follow up for you guys, I know.

 

[Jonk]

Pepper Spray/Mace his ass (the fat lard's face actually) the next time he touches you.

 

[The Bookerman]

He said you were a "Tapette", that don't mean Wuss, he called you a "fag".


I had a similar problem with an old guy in a bus on my way to the "Cegep". I accidently stepped on his foot. All he did was look back at me, then he stepped back on my foot. The thing was I had my running shoes on, he had construction boots. It hurt like hell. If I had more guts at the time....

 

[dem]

 

[Wellington]

In all seriousness though, confront him.

Be aware, of course, that he's got some mental instability... obviously.

 

[Foreign Jackass]

That looks like a freaking fine idea.

 

[Lunar Aura]

you haven't done anything yet then you have indeed become his whipping boy. wuss. :lol dude next time he does something, without warning just haul off and punch him in the nose. seriously.

 

[Foreign Jackass]

you haven't done anything yet then you have indeed become his whipping boy. wuss. :lol dude next time he does something, without warning just haul off and punch him in the nose. seriously.

Who needs a fucking whipping boy after 15? He's a twenty something socially inapt moron. He doesn't need a punch in the nose, he obviously needs medication. Although punching him in the nose would be fun.

 

[Minotauro]

You have three options:

1. Switch bus routes
2. Live with it
3. Physically harm him in some way

I doubt he'll stop of his own volition.

 

[Leon]

I understand your frustration, I once had to deal with these assholes. The kind who think that they can stir shit up, just because. I am by no means a violent guy, and even though I'd probably get beaten up, I cant help but be extremely pissed to the point of acting irresponsibly. I once started walking towards one of these random assholes who thought he was at a safe distance to start stirring shit up. Didnt know what I was gonna do once I got to him, that thought didnt even cross my mind. I was just pissed. He was in his car too. He thought I was just gonna fuck off, but he noticed me walking towards him, I saw him yell at his friend to get in the car, and he slammed his foot on the accelerator. That was in Montreal too.

90% of these guys are pussies.

 

[negitoro7]

Embarass him publicly and maybe he'll stop.

"Sir, I DO NOT KNOW YOU, MAY I ASK WHY YOU ARE REPEATEDLY KICKING ME?!?".

Make sure to say it really loudly and sternly.

 

[ManDudeChild]

I hate to look like a weak guy, but fighting a humongous mass of 250-300 pounds of latino fat doesn't look too good from my point of view. It'd make for a very entertaining follow up for you guys, I know.

You know that fat doesn't protect the face very much, right?

 

[..pakbeka..]

pepper spray, or a taser

or a running kick in the back if he hasn't seen you yet, you can then point to his face and yell: NOT TODAY

 

[Foreign Jackass]

Embarass him publicly and maybe he'll stop.

"Sir, I DO NOT KNOW YOU, MAY I ASK WHY YOU ARE REPEATEDLY KICKING ME?!?".

Make sure to say it really loudly and sternly.

I don't think he's afraid of being embarassed pubicly, since he's just repeatedly giving me fingers in front of everyone while being on the other side of the street and looking like a retard. He's 250 pounds, too, and looks like a dumbass.

 

[goodcow]

And this is why public transportation is superior, and should be embraced by all.

 

[negitoro7]

In that case, you are better off changing routes.

 

[Coin Return]

Pepper spray him and then kick him.

 

[Cherubae]

Whip it out while on the bus and then pee on him. Ya, right on the front of his pants. When he gets off the bus everyone will think he wet himself and they'll all point and laugh.

Of course, he might try for revenge and pee on you the next time he sees you on the bus.

The two of you will just keep pissing on each other until you both get banned from the mass transit system.

Then the two of you will laugh and become best friends.

The end.

 

[ManDudeChild]

Whip it out while on the bus and then pee on him. Ya, right on the front of his pants. When he gets off the bus everyone will think he wet himself and they'll all point and laugh.

Of course, he might try for revenge and pee on you the next time he sees you on the bus.

The two of you will just keep pissing on each other until you both get banned from the mass transit system.

Then the two of you will laugh and become best friends.

The end.

Awww. Isn't that cute ... BUT ITS WRONG!

 

[BuG]

I'm sorry, but this just sounds so out-there that it's hilarious to me. Punching him in the nose will serve no purpose other than to make you feel like a big tough guy for five minutes and then realise what an idiot you are for resorting to violence to deal with someone who is quite clearly a fucking moron. I think embarrassment might work, but then again your description does sound as though he won't be embarrassed by anything, and even if it doesn't work it's probably better than just looking at him in a stupor. The thing I really want to know is how the hell he keeps finding you.

 

[whytemyke]

Fuck that shit. Smoke that mothafucka!

 

[Drinky Crow]

wink suggestively at him. make a jerking off motion with your hand, and then nod toward the back of the bus. if you're close enough, rub his manboob a little. say "Et tu tapette?" with a really bad accent of any variety and lick him right on the forehead.

 

[Widfara]

wink suggestively at him. make a jerking off motion with your hand, and then nod toward the back of the bus. if you're close enough, rub his manboob a little. say "Et tu tapette?" with a really bad accent of any variety and lick him right on the forehead.

don't follow this advice

 

[totoro'd]

Isn't this assault? Next time he does it, grab a cop if there's one nearby.

 

[Cherubae]

Awww. Isn't that cute ... BUT ITS WRONG!

NOOOOOOOOO *agony* Now my day is ruined :'(

 

[Nameless]

Next time he says that simple reply:

"If you kick my leg one more time, I will skin your fat ass alive, shit on your carcass and whipe my ass with your peeled skin....so help me god" Then head but the wall with your head 3 times spit on the ground and walk off.

At that point he'll either be deathly afraid of your or kick your ass but either way it should be over.

 

[iapetus]

don't follow this advice

...without a camera crew.

 

[Foreign Jackass]

I'm sorry, but this just sounds so out-there that it's hilarious to me. Punching him in the nose will serve no purpose other than to make you feel like a big tough guy for five minutes and then realise what an idiot you are for resorting to violence to deal with someone who is quite clearly a fucking moron. I think embarrassment might work, but then again your description does sound as though he won't be embarrassed by anything, and even if it doesn't work it's probably better than just looking at him in a stupor. The thing I really want to know is how the hell he keeps finding you.

I KNOW! It's completely freaking me out. He must live in my neighbourhood, but to meet him thrice (and I've seen him a fourth time in a wagon in the subway, but I chose wisely to go to the next door) in two or three months and for him to get in my back and kick me twice is rather weird.

I'm really starting to think this guy might just be in my mind. He's probably just some old guy I'm gonna end up shooting in the head for what I thought was an assault. I THINK I'M PARANOID

Next time he says that simple reply:

"If you kick my leg one more time, I will skin your fat ass alive, shit on your carcass and whipe my ass with your peeled skin....so help me god" Then head but the wall with your head 3 times spit on the ground and walk off.

At that point he'll either be deathly afraid of your or kick your ass but either way it should be over.

:lol This thread is comedy gold.

 

[bjork]

I can seriously fix your problem, but it will take a large amount of intestinal fortitude on your part. But having done this to people who've fucked with me for no reason in the past, I can guarantee you that it works:

Get on the bus. Sit next to him. Pretend to not even notice that he's there. If he kicks you when you sit down, disregard it.

Once the bus pulls away from the curb and heads down the street, do that "yawning fakeout to put your arm around the person" move. He'll either look at your hand on his other side, or look at your face with some "wtf" look.

Then, the move that ends the feud:

You lean in and lick his face from his chin to his temple, then pull back and pull your arm back and act like nothing ever happened. He'll be way too fucked up on that to try and kick or do anything of the sort. And if he does make a scene,you play the victim and he gets booted from the train.

Simple, easy, and only requires a small bit of mouthwash afterwards.

 

[Foreign Jackass]

I can seriously fix your problem, but it will take a large amount of intestinal fortitude on your part. But having done this to people who've fucked with me for no reason in the past, I can guarantee you that it works:

Get on the bus. Sit next to him. Pretend to not even notice that he's there. If he kicks you when you sit down, disregard it.

Once the bus pulls away from the curb and heads down the street, do that "yawning fakeout to put your arm around the person" move. He'll either look at your hand on his other side, or look at your face with some "wtf" look.

Then, the move that ends the feud:

You lean in and lick his face from his chin to his temple, then pull back and pull your arm back and act like nothing ever happened. He'll be way too fucked up on that to try and kick or do anything of the sort. And if he does make a scene,you play the victim and he gets booted from the train.

Simple, easy, and only requires a small bit of mouthwash afterwards.

 

[bjork]

What ""

I'm serious, it works.

 

[Widfara]

I can seriously fix your problem, but it will take a large amount of intestinal fortitude on your part. But having done this to people who've fucked with me for no reason in the past, I can guarantee you that it works:

Get on the bus. Sit next to him. Pretend to not even notice that he's there. If he kicks you when you sit down, disregard it.

Once the bus pulls away from the curb and heads down the street, do that "yawning fakeout to put your arm around the person" move. He'll either look at your hand on his other side, or look at your face with some "wtf" look.

Then, the move that ends the feud:

You lean in and lick his face from his chin to his temple, then pull back and pull your arm back and act like nothing ever happened. He'll be way too fucked up on that to try and kick or do anything of the sort. And if he does make a scene,you play the victim and he gets booted from the train.

Simple, easy, and only requires a small bit of mouthwash afterwards.

Have you really done this? Licking a strange man's face is not something I could do.

 

[bjork]

Have you really done this? Licking a strange man's face is not something I could do.

I once walked up to a man, hugged him, and tried to give him a hickey on his neck. It was like physical paralysis via shock, he just stood there and took it.

I've licked lots of people. It always makes me laugh, and makes them not know what to do.

 

[Foreign Jackass]

I once walked up to a man, hugged him, and tried to give him a hickey on his neck. It was like physical paralysis via shock, he just stood there and took it.

I've licked lots of people. It always makes me laugh, and makes them not know what to do.

I might punch you in the face for doing that.

 

[McLesterolBeast]

Intestinal fortitude?

 

[bjork]

I might punch you in the face for doing that.

you say that, but when it actually happens, you'd be too busy freaking out to do anything.

I mean, if some fat mexican kicking you has you all traumatized, me biting your neck would probably make you shit yourself. :lol

 

[Foreign Jackass]

you say that, but when it actually happens, you'd be too busy freaking out to do anything.

I mean, if some fat mexican kicking you has you all traumatized, me biting your neck would probably make you shit yourself. :lol

:lol

 

[BuG]

I once walked up to a man, hugged him, and tried to give him a hickey on his neck. It was like physical paralysis via shock, he just stood there and took it.

I've licked lots of people. It always makes me laugh, and makes them not know what to do.

Let us know how that disgusting rash or whatever you develop works out, yeah?

Intestinal fortitude?

Intestinal fortitude is to "guts" as testicular fortitude is to "balls".

 

[bjork]

Let us know how that disgusting rash or whatever you develop works out, yeah?

It's never given me anything, so it works out okay. I mean, you obviously wouldn't do it to a FILTHY person, so it's not different than giving some girl a hickey... aside from it being a guy, and it not being enjoyable outside of comedic value...

 

[Bowflex]

This is the greatest thread I've ever seen.

But seriously, this guy has slapped you in the face multiple times and needs to be owned.

I say castrate the mother fucker.

Or fly a commerical airliner into his house.

Or slice his achilles tendon.

Or you could always just lick him

 

[The Main Event]

While I understand not everyone can fight, practice these simple moves and use them if you feel like it, they can be pretty useful against big guys (unless he's 6'5 and you're 5'6).

Elbow strike to the side of the EYE, not the cheek, it'll throw him off a little bit.

And then, grab his head with both of your hands and strike it with your knee.

Repeat those steps if he's still standing.

Once he's down, continue with this position:

Both your legs surrounding him, on top of him. Continue striking with your elbows to the sides of his head, or if you really feel like deforming the guy, elbow to the eyes and nose. Avoid doing punches, since if you miss and hit the ground, it'll hurt like hell.

And of course, you finish those steps with: "Cé qui la tapette astheure criss de gros attardé", which means, "Who's the faggot now you fucking big retard". Add "Mexicain" or "Latino" if you feel like it, but it'll sound like you beat the guy to death because of his ethnicity.

And leave the scene with pride and the great looking Montreal women.

 

[UtadaBarkley]

IBATA :lol


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