-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Stupid violent retard on the subway
- Thread starter Foreign Jackass
- Start date
- Status
WordAssassin
Member
JeffDowns said:
You fool.
Prince of Space
Banned
Start carrying a briefcase filled with a variety of kitchen knives. Next time he does it, stab him in the leg and yell, "OOPS, PARDON ME SIR, MY SAMPLES SEEM TO HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN!"
Companion Cube
Member
I believe I have the solution to your problem
KILL HIM WITH THIS
KILL HIM WITH THIS
The Faceless Master
Member
you need to spot him first one day, and then blindside him with a punch to the face, then say "stop kicking me you asshole!" and back away
shpankey
not an idiot
Most people don't realize how fragile the human body is, and if they did, wouldn't act so tough. A very swift (not even that hard) tap to their adam's apple will incompacitate them into a lumbering slug of helplessness. The trick is to act like you're scared and then get them while their acting bravado and not paying attention. While their choking for air, just calmly walk away. 
I dunno, I'd usually say kick his ass but I had a simple bus problem escalate to something huge.
When I went to college some kids sitting across from me and my friends said to one of my friends, "what's your problem? Got a staring problem?" and said he was gay and all that stuff. I interupted and asked everyone in the back of the bus if they knew why this punk kid was wearing a cast (he had one with a sling), and people thought I knew the guy when I asked that. I said it was because of "too much jiggin" and everybody was laughing at them. They said they'll beat the crap out of us blah blah blah so I get up and then use the back of my hand to lightly slap both of their faces and said "What are you going to do? What are you going to do?". They shut up for good and when we get off the bus one of them kicks my friend's back and he was leaving.
Months later I some guys got on the bus and sat beside me and one said that he heard I was talking to his girlfriend and stuff. I didn't know who he was talking about (found out later, some girl who came up to me and started this whole conversation on how she's going to Hawaii
) and I asked him if there was a problem with that. He tried to stir up stuff but I totally made him look stupid. Then out of nowhere when the bus stopped at a stop he elbowed me in the face and him and his crew runs off. I grabbed one of the last guys and told him he and his friend should be glad I was fasting (I don't know WHY I said that it must have seemed really retarded to the that guy, but it was true, I wasn't as angry as I should have been).
Anyways I move out of Red Deer months later and a couple months after moving I hear my friend was beat up into a Coma. Apparently it was these guys who did it. My friend got a Diploma in computer programming and he literally forgot all of it and he had to go to NAIT again to relearn that stuff. When he first came to, 2 months after the beating, he couldn't even recognize his own mother.
It was insanely retarded how these low-lives could take something so personal. I could easily take those guys and my friend apparently did too, he cracked a few ribs and fractured a wrist of one of the 7 guys who attacked him. But that's the thing, the odds are never even. Especially if you're dealing with the Chinese in Calgary heheh. So I'd study the situation more closely. My friend and I plan to still get those guys in Red Deer and in time we'll do it. The more time passes the more sweet it will be, and we're in no rush. Heh, maybe this will incriminate me...well I can always edit.
In the meantime if I were in your boots I'd be fuming and thus I'd try to find out more about this person and call in some fake tips to Police about him and say, drugs. I wouldn't be surprise if he was guilty of something. Anyways, that way he doesn't know it's you and you're still getting back at him.
When I went to college some kids sitting across from me and my friends said to one of my friends, "what's your problem? Got a staring problem?" and said he was gay and all that stuff. I interupted and asked everyone in the back of the bus if they knew why this punk kid was wearing a cast (he had one with a sling), and people thought I knew the guy when I asked that. I said it was because of "too much jiggin" and everybody was laughing at them. They said they'll beat the crap out of us blah blah blah so I get up and then use the back of my hand to lightly slap both of their faces and said "What are you going to do? What are you going to do?". They shut up for good and when we get off the bus one of them kicks my friend's back and he was leaving.
Months later I some guys got on the bus and sat beside me and one said that he heard I was talking to his girlfriend and stuff. I didn't know who he was talking about (found out later, some girl who came up to me and started this whole conversation on how she's going to Hawaii
) and I asked him if there was a problem with that. He tried to stir up stuff but I totally made him look stupid. Then out of nowhere when the bus stopped at a stop he elbowed me in the face and him and his crew runs off. I grabbed one of the last guys and told him he and his friend should be glad I was fasting (I don't know WHY I said that it must have seemed really retarded to the that guy, but it was true, I wasn't as angry as I should have been). Anyways I move out of Red Deer months later and a couple months after moving I hear my friend was beat up into a Coma. Apparently it was these guys who did it. My friend got a Diploma in computer programming and he literally forgot all of it and he had to go to NAIT again to relearn that stuff. When he first came to, 2 months after the beating, he couldn't even recognize his own mother.
It was insanely retarded how these low-lives could take something so personal. I could easily take those guys and my friend apparently did too, he cracked a few ribs and fractured a wrist of one of the 7 guys who attacked him. But that's the thing, the odds are never even. Especially if you're dealing with the Chinese in Calgary heheh. So I'd study the situation more closely. My friend and I plan to still get those guys in Red Deer and in time we'll do it. The more time passes the more sweet it will be, and we're in no rush. Heh, maybe this will incriminate me...well I can always edit.
In the meantime if I were in your boots I'd be fuming and thus I'd try to find out more about this person and call in some fake tips to Police about him and say, drugs. I wouldn't be surprise if he was guilty of something. Anyways, that way he doesn't know it's you and you're still getting back at him.
This may sound really crazy but, I think u should carry a large knife with you, next time he kicks you or you see him get off the subway chase him waving ur knife, act crazy, he will run away and probabley never bug u agin. I am in no way saying use it, but u wont have too and buy scaring him shitless and acting crazy this wont escerlate into a fight which even if u win, he'll probabley just get some of hes mates with him another time.
Companion Cube
Member
Fight for Freeform said:
QUOTED FOR EVIDENCE! :lol jk...
<copy><paste>
Really though, don't bring a weapon, especially an obvious one like a knife.
Foreign Jackass said:
What metro do you keep running into him at? Snap a cell picture of him, I'll keep an eye out for him and if I see him I'll make his fucking life hell.
And to people saying get a cop, the Montreal metro cops are a tall pitcher of cocksuckers. Bunch of Tim Horton's eating pushovers.
If that fat ass ever touches you again, I would grab his fucking gullet and whisper "Casse toi mon ostie."
Shinoobi said:
I was just about to edit it too! was gonna replace it with what bjork said.
Anyways, I don't think anyone would care if anything happened to those guys. When I talked to the police during my friend's coma, those punks were involved in all sorts of shiz and were wanted for other stuff.
Fight for Freeform said:I was just about to edit it too! was gonna replace it with what bjork said.
Anyways, I don't think anyone would care if anything happened to those guys. When I talked to the police during my friend's coma, those punks were involved in all sorts of shiz and were wanted for other stuff.
Your avatar is horrifying. That's all I have to add.
No, seriously, change it.
Foreign Jackass
Member
mattx5 said:
Hahaha, I now have my own private posse!
GAF ROCKS
Metro Sauvé, by the way, which is way up north.
ManDudeChild
Member
Fight for Freeform said:So I'd study the situation more closely. My friend and I plan to still get those guys in Red Deer and in time we'll do it. The more time passes the more sweet it will be, and we're in no rush. Heh, maybe this will incriminate me...well I can always edit.
Yeah dude, I don't think anyone's going to point this thread out if you eventually get those guys. I do think violence leads to more violence but fuck, those guys need to pay. It's horrible how we as a species treat each other.
negitoro7 said:
Fuck that. To quote Michael Bolton in Office Space: "No way. Why should I have to change? He's the one who sucks."
As they say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you see the guy, do what you can to avoid him, and given the size of this fucker, he shouldn't really be THAT hard to miss. However, assuming he manages to sneak up and kick you again, you can't keep letting him get away with it. Maybe spit in his face (preferably the eyes) and as he goes to wipe it off (assuming he's not completely fucking bonkers and just leaves it) cold cock that mofo. I'm not sure what else to tell you, but bringing a weapon into the equation is a bad idea.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
is he fat enough so that when you get off the bus and he does the fingers thing again you could yell at him and then dance around his fat ass and laugh and make him run and shit?
I say do that, then if he catches you the people watching will be all "oh no the skinny guy is done for" then you tazer him!
I say do that, then if he catches you the people watching will be all "oh no the skinny guy is done for" then you tazer him!
suikodan
Member
Some people are dicks in the Montreal subway. There is a big poster saying to people to put their ****ing bags on the ground and you see lots of bastards pushing people around with their bags. I know that I push the bag back when it happens to me as I put mine on the ground.
Anyways, I hate the people in the subway. Stop glaring at my PSP you tards. :lol
Anyways, I hate the people in the subway. Stop glaring at my PSP you tards. :lol
â Narayan
Member
If I were you, I would have literally crushed this guy's skull.
Head + Smashing on curb = WIN!
Head + Smashing on curb = WIN!
ManDudeChild said:
I totally agree with your statement about violence begetting more violence. I don't think these guys will know it's us anyways, since it's around 3 years after the fact. We were joking that we'd dress up as clowns and use baseball bats...I still think that'd be hilarious, and it would help guarentee anonymity (sp).
Again, which is why violence is probably not the best option in this case. I don't recommend it at all. Get a pic of him with your phone, create some flyers with that pic about him offering some "services" for a homosexual audience and post them all over Montreal or something. IMO that'd be better than trying to start a whole cycle of violence.
..pakbeka..
Member
shpankey said:
the famous APPLE TACKLE has been used since the days of the ancient asian kingdoms and is said to be the best way to kick ass and take names after you loose at a game of chinese chess
in other words, IT WORKS, try it on yourself and see
suikodan said:
stop watching porn
Foreign Jackass
Member
I must bump the topic just to mention that it is hilarious. :lol
Well, the bjork-stalker method would be effective...but I wouldn't do it. I would fight fire with fire...I'd either kick him again and be prepared to run...or if it is just too much for you then call some friends/familiars and give him a lesson. Might sound violent but you are making his day everyday and he won't stop.
evilromero
Member
No no no. Just be the bigger man and ignore him.Jewbacca said:
Edit: I just couldn't keep my face straight any longer. Seriously, kick his goddamn motherfuckin ass. Ask him to follow you to an area where you won't be spotted. Then pull out the billyclub and go to town on his head. Free makeover.
DCX
DCX
If you ever did that to me you will lose the ability to smell for weeks...bjork said:
Seriously though, you need to show some type of agression here. Once you show weakness he will act upon that weakness until:
A) he punks you til the cows come home
B) you punch him in the throat and elbow him in the back of the head
You need to end it and it has been shown that ignoring isn't the problem, and "talking" about aint going to work either.
DCX
Heres what you do Ok!?
Go get a syringe, hang around the subway covertly so you find him but he doesnt notice you. Wait til it gets really crowded, load the syringe with air, bump into the back of him and get him with the syringe, filling his blood stream with air. He has a heart attack from it, everyone thinks its just a fat fuck having a heart attack and you get away scot free.
Edit: Also, I always carry a taser and a switch blade on me @ all times. You can get a 100,000 Volt taser off the internet for about 25$ US. For refrence, the air tasers cops carry on them are 50,000 volts. For about 55$ you can get a 700,000 volt taser stick lol. Basiclly the thing about tasers is it all depends on how long you leave it on the person. Anything over 5 seconds and the person is going down but just a quick second and it feels like someones pinching you really fast. (tasering yourself always impresses the ladies)
Go get a syringe, hang around the subway covertly so you find him but he doesnt notice you. Wait til it gets really crowded, load the syringe with air, bump into the back of him and get him with the syringe, filling his blood stream with air. He has a heart attack from it, everyone thinks its just a fat fuck having a heart attack and you get away scot free.
Edit: Also, I always carry a taser and a switch blade on me @ all times. You can get a 100,000 Volt taser off the internet for about 25$ US. For refrence, the air tasers cops carry on them are 50,000 volts. For about 55$ you can get a 700,000 volt taser stick lol. Basiclly the thing about tasers is it all depends on how long you leave it on the person. Anything over 5 seconds and the person is going down but just a quick second and it feels like someones pinching you really fast. (tasering yourself always impresses the ladies)
Strike East
Member
Heres the trick, you dont want to use conventional weapons because that would get you into alot of trouble. Next time, make sure you purchase the lagerst available coffe and board the train. If you spot him early enough loosen the lid on the cup. Let the fatass kick you in the leg, but dont react right away. wait for either another kick or for the train to lurch, then fake "accidently" spilling hot coffe all over him(or just on his crotch,or face whatever...)then while he is writhing in pain either ignore him or pretend to help him brush it off, while lifting a well placed knee to the scrotum.
Also try this, next time he kicks you make sure you follow him off the train. Hopefully he will be flipping you off and acting like an asshole, meanwhile you just keep calm stern faced and continue to follow him. If he goes to a bar,restaurant,club...etc break off the the tailing, but if he happens to go to what you belive to be his house, all you gotta do is stand outside for a min and make it look like youre taking down his adress on a peice of paper. Aftewards get one your cell(or payphone nearby) and start screaming into it. Yell stuff like "I NEED EVERYBODY HERE NOW!" and yell out the adress, the add "YEAH, THE DOGS TOO!" also throw in something about air support. Peace and tranquility therafter.
Also try this, next time he kicks you make sure you follow him off the train. Hopefully he will be flipping you off and acting like an asshole, meanwhile you just keep calm stern faced and continue to follow him. If he goes to a bar,restaurant,club...etc break off the the tailing, but if he happens to go to what you belive to be his house, all you gotta do is stand outside for a min and make it look like youre taking down his adress on a peice of paper. Aftewards get one your cell(or payphone nearby) and start screaming into it. Yell stuff like "I NEED EVERYBODY HERE NOW!" and yell out the adress, the add "YEAH, THE DOGS TOO!" also throw in something about air support. Peace and tranquility therafter.
whoever said that licking thing works... lied.
a dude in high school came up behind me and tried to be funny/gay, so he wrapped his arms around me from behind and laid his head on my shoulder to talk to me. I threw that fucker into the wall so fast he didn't know what to do :lol... the point is, the uncomfortable thing may work on some, but may spur others on to violence.
case in point? Tombstone. When Doc winks at the guy, the whole battle at the OK Corral started. Do you want that on your conscience? 3 dead people? All cuz of a wink? Of course not. So don't take that route.
a dude in high school came up behind me and tried to be funny/gay, so he wrapped his arms around me from behind and laid his head on my shoulder to talk to me. I threw that fucker into the wall so fast he didn't know what to do :lol... the point is, the uncomfortable thing may work on some, but may spur others on to violence.
case in point? Tombstone. When Doc winks at the guy, the whole battle at the OK Corral started. Do you want that on your conscience? 3 dead people? All cuz of a wink? Of course not. So don't take that route.
- Status