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Super Best Friends Thread 10: Frienders Support Straight Shota

B

Banana Aeon

Member
My sister decided that Kangaroo Jack, what honestly may not only be one of the most misleading movies of all time, but one of the worst movies of all time, was too boring, and decided to play with her chair.

Mistakes were made, and her head got stuck. My mom had to take the chair apart, but not before we got pictures♪.
 
Z

zedreamcast

Member
VidulaSaix said:
Babying someone isn't going to help them either.



... what?
Click to expand...
Im guessing you werent here for the story.
For about a year I was in an internet relationship and the person I was with constantly said they loved me but in the end it turned out a person who was just playing with my feelings and didnt give a shit about me. I dont even know if they were a guy or girl.
 
M

misses bull

Banned
Banana Aeon said:
My sister decided that Kangaroo Jack, what honestly may not only be one of the most misleading movies of all time, but one of the worst movies of all time, was too boring, and decided to play with her chair.

Mistakes were made, and her head got stuck. My mom had to take the chair apart, but not before we got pictures♪.
Click to expand...

post the pictures

zedreamcast said:
Im guessing you werent here for the story.
For about a year I was in an internet relationship and the person I was with constantly said they loved me but in the end it turned out a person who was just playing with my feelings and didnt give a shit about me. I dont even know if they were a guy or girl.
Click to expand...

Internet relationships are dumb, which is why I'm in one.
 
C

CthulhuSushi

Banned
JooseBawcks said:
Never trust them gold diggin hoes
Click to expand...

tumblr_md1s8aAHOx1qa4itpo1_500.gif
 
M

Mathaou

legacy of cane
zedreamcast said:
Im guessing you werent here for the story.
For about a year I was in an internet relationship and the person I was with constantly said they loved me but in the end it turned out a person who was just playing with my feelings and didnt give a shit about me. I dont even know if they were a guy or girl.
Click to expand...

I met some girl on Omegle when I was 14.

We skyped.

She had big boobs.

I'm not sure if she was even 14.
 
A

Aaron-Lagann

Banned
When I first turned 21, a really cute girl asked me for my number. I drunkenly gave it to her. She got in her cab and left, immediately as she pulled off I remembered that I just got a new phone and chose not to transfer my number.

New Years Eve 2013 I make out with an older woman at midnight, she bites me a few times and wants me to bite her, which at the time felt normal but in retrospect was not the best of signs, things get hot and heavy, but she has to leave, says she'll text me. The next day she does, then doesn't stop, then kinda stalks me a bit, tries to come to my apartment, tries to setup lunch dates repeatedly. After a couple months of ignoring her she just kinda stopped, haven't seen her since.

One time I made out with this woman on the dance floor, then a couple weeks later I made out with a girl, then the next week I met up with the girl who went to the bar with her mom, who was the woman I made out with a couple weeks prior.

The night I lost my virginity my best friend was sitting in the front room directly next to the room I was doing it in and heard everything.

A fight once broke out on the dance floor and everyone was pushing and shoving around, I somehow managed to not notice this and danced to Thriller. I only found out there was a fight the next day.

I could go on, but that would take awhile to keep typing up.
 
3

360pages

Member
Banana Aeon said:
My sister decided that Kangaroo Jack, what honestly may not only be one of the most misleading movies of all time, but one of the worst movies of all time, was too boring, and decided to play with her chair.

Mistakes were made, and her head got stuck. My mom had to take the chair apart, but not before we got pictures♪.
Click to expand...

I thought it was going to be about an awesome Kangaroo doing awesome things with terrible CGI and hilarity...all we got was two idiots running around trying to get a hoodie back. Such a dumbass movie.
 
V

VidulaSaix

Member
Nothing wrong with meeting people on the internet. You're more likely to meet someone who actually shares the same interest as you that way.

Unless you're me at least. I just make friends that end up liking each other better and I always become third wheels. \o/
 
Z

Zenfalcia

Member
I was in Junior high and two guys in my art class took my art book and started drawing portal shoes and other stuff.

VidulaSaix said:
Nothing wrong with meeting people on the internet. You're more likely to meet someone who actually shares the same interest as you that way.

Unless you're me at least. o/
Click to expand...

You have us and xiriaya
kinda...
and beloved
 
M

misses bull

Banned
VidulaSaix said:
Nothing wrong with meeting people on the internet. You're more likely to meet someone who actually shares the same interest as you that way.

Unless you're me at least. I just make friends that end up liking each other better and I always become third wheels. \o/
Click to expand...

None of my internet friendships last long enough for me to meet them :(
 
I

IDKAboutThat

Member
Aaron-Lagann said:
I think you've told that story before. Still a classic.

In a similar vein, I've talked before about my favorite bathroom joke, whenever someone's pooping, say at the top of your lungs "Smells like shit in here!"
Click to expand...

Alright then, the one about my elementary school rebelliousness. We had a project in third grade social studies where we had to color in and draw around a picture of Mexico to look like something else. I fucking hated coloring because it's a waste of goddamn time and it never looks right because crayon texture ruins your picture, and I had a moral objection to the assignment because what the fuck were we learning from it, so after arguing with the teacher for five minutes about whether or not I could just outline the parts to denote what color they were supposed to be, I decided to make my picture of mexico into a stream of red, yellow, and blue going into a large machine that was sucking the colors out of a city. I had little screaming stick figures running around it and panicking, and the colors were going into three little chambers, so that mexico and the three chambers were the only colorful part, plus I only had to use those three colors. It was a win-win, a masterstroke. But the teacher gave me an F, said I was being contrary, and called a parent-teacher conference. My parents defended my creativity and my ability to see that the assignment was bullshit, and the only punishment I got was a lecture from my dad about how I needed to go along with the system sometimes even though it was stupid, but it was always right to question what you were told to do.
 
A

ArclightBorealis

Member
VidulaSaix said:
Nothing wrong with meeting people on the internet. You're more likely to meet someone who actually shares the same interest as you that way.

Unless you're me at least. \o/
Click to expand...
One friend I met on the internet I got to meet in real life when she visited me during winter break back in Alaska (in 2012). She's still the only person I first knew online to have met in person.

It was only for a few days, but it was still a good time.
 
M

Mathaou

legacy of cane
VidulaSaix said:
Nothing wrong with meeting people on the internet. You're more likely to meet someone who actually shares the same interest as you that way.

Unless you're me at least. I just make friends that end up liking each other better and I always become third wheels. \o/
Click to expand...

Preach-tumblr.gif
 
A

Aaron-Lagann

Banned
SickWheelchairCombos said:
.
Click to expand...

When I had to take a GED preparation class for free college credits I realized I knew everything they were teaching me, so I just sat on my laptop listening to music and reading webcomics for 11 weeks, not paying attention in class once, then passed the test with the highest scores of everyone in the class, allowing me to have a picture of me and a quote put up in the main hall of the school, as some way to make people feel good about getting the most useless piece of paper in existence, so I put on sunglasses, did a finger gun and put the quote "I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep, 'cause I'd miss you baby, and I didn't even learn a thing!"

18 year old Aaron thought that was hilarious and 22 year old Aaron only thinks it's slightly less hilarious.
 
I

IDKAboutThat

Member
Aaron-Lagann said:
When I had to take a GED preparation class for free college credits I realized I knew everything they were teaching me, so I just sat on my laptop listening to music and reading webcomics for 11 weeks, not paying attention in class once, then passed the test with the highest scores of everyone in the class, allowing me to have a picture of me and a quote put up in the main hall of the school, as some way to make people feel good about getting the most useless piece of paper in existence, so I put on sunglasses, did a finger gun and put the quote "I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep, 'cause I'd miss you baby, and I didn't even learn a thing!"

18 year old Aaron thought that was hilarious and 22 year old Aaron only thinks it's slightly less hilarious.
Click to expand...
You. You are a card.

I took no prep, studied no books, and played FFV on my iphone through every mandatory advice seminar, and I got a 2180 on my SATs first try. Turns out if you pay attention in class, you don't need any of the extra bullshit!
 
M

Mathaou

legacy of cane
Banana Aeon said:
Kanye the type of nigga to check out his own ass.
Click to expand...

Type a' nigga that suck dick fo' bus money and walk home.

Aaron-Lagann said:
When I had to take a GED preparation class for free college credits I realized I knew everything they were teaching me, so I just sat on my laptop listening to music and reading webcomics for 11 weeks, not paying attention in class once, then passed the test with the highest scores of everyone in the class, allowing me to have a picture of me and a quote put up in the main hall of the school, as some way to make people feel good about getting the most useless piece of paper in existence, so I put on sunglasses, did a finger gun and put the quote "I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep, 'cause I'd miss you baby, and I didn't even learn a thing!"

18 year old Aaron thought that was hilarious and 22 year old Aaron only thinks it's slightly less hilarious.
Click to expand...

I love reading shit I said/ wrote in the past. In my 8th grade yearbook, when it said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I wrote down Denzel Washington.
 
Z

Zenfalcia

Member
Aaron-Lagann said:
When I had to take a GED preparation class for free college credits I realized I knew everything they were teaching me, so I just sat on my laptop listening to music and reading webcomics for 11 weeks, not paying attention in class once, then passed the test with the highest scores of everyone in the class, allowing me to have a picture of me and a quote put up in the main hall of the school, as some way to make people feel good about getting the most useless piece of paper in existence, so I put on sunglasses, did a finger gun and put the quote "I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep, 'cause I'd miss you baby, and I didn't even learn a thing!"

18 year old Aaron thought that was hilarious and 22 year old Aaron only thinks it's slightly less hilarious.
Click to expand...

It's still hilarious, now.
 
M

mike0dude

Member
HOLY SHIT!I didn't know Mike Tyson is in crocodile dundee 3!
Like I didn't know that Bunk was in Hackers...

edit: Oh god, that acting... I can't even...
 
I

IDKAboutThat

Member
Mathaou said:
I love reading shit I said/ wrote in the past. In my 8th grade yearbook, when it said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I wrote down Denzel Washington.
Click to expand...
Doesn't everyone?

They wouldn't let me attribute a quote to myself in my senior yearbook, so I just did "Do the impossible. See the invisible. Row, row, fight the powah." -Gurren Lagann
 
S

skLaFarebear

Member
Dumb GAF

My friends thought it'd be a funny idea to put a gym locker we found on my other friends jeans.

Unfortunately, no one knew the password. It was pretty hilarious.
 
I

IDKAboutThat

Member
skLaFarebear said:
Dumb GAF

My friends thought it'd be a funny idea to put a gym locker we found on my other friends jeans.

Unfortunately, no one knew the password. It was pretty hilarious.
Click to expand...

Haven't you ever seen a Nomura character design? Hanging locks off your clothes only makes them more fashionable. It's flippant, yet desirable. It says "I know secrets... But you can't have them."
 
B

Beloved

Member
Meanwhile Xiraiya and I are on the phone talking about how fap socks can cheer me up.

I could provide context but whats the fun in that?
 
A

Aaron-Lagann

Banned
DAREALGUMMY said:
I realize most of my stories will make me look like a scumbag. So share more stories to entertain me.
Click to expand...

One of the bars I frequent had a system where the DJ would play any song you requested for $5. I singlehandedly got them to remove this in one night by forcing the DJ to play the Mortal Kombat theme three times in a night, every time doing fake karate fights with my friend, which every time went into a recreation of the fight from the end of The Matrix when Neo became the one and held off Agent Smith with one hand.

I was was stuck in a cab for a half an hour, so I decided to make a lengthy story about how when I was homeless I got involved in the bum fighting scene, fighting for McDonalds hamburgers. About twenty minutes in the person stopped me, assuring me that they knew I was full of shit, but then I assured them that I was 100% serious.

I once went to a Rodeo, got super drunk, then another drunk guy tried to fight me because he thought I stole his cowboy hat, I almost fought him because that's bullshit, it was my cowboy hat that I payed good money for! Then our friends broke us up.
 
M

Mathaou

legacy of cane
This is a story about my uncle.

My uncle is first and foremost a extremely conservative Christian. Rejects evolution and all that good stuff. He believes that schools teach immoral lessons, so he homeschools his kids. His kids are super weird and have fucked up senses of humor. They aren't allowed to use the internet or watch the Discovery channel, and their only interaction with other kids their age is through children their parents approve of coming over to their house.

So that's what their lives are like.

One day, my uncle buys two calfs for his huge yard behind his house. He and his kids name them, build them a shelter/ feeding area, and brush them. He thought it would teach them responsibility. After a year or two, this cow was a part of the family. One was for milk, one was just a pet. They castrated the bull cuz they didn't want to deal with breeding.

One day, he suddenly calls his three kids, 14, 9, and 7 at the time, to the shelter. He tells them to close their eyes and wait there. When he tells them to open their eyes, he is holding a rifle.

"And now I'll teach you how food gets put on our table. We can only live through the sacrifice of another creature. I want you to pray for Amy and Stan's souls, okay?"

Without skipping a beat he readies his rifle and shoots both cows in the head. In front of his kids. He then tells his oldest son to fetch a clean axe and a cleaver, as well as a rope to drag it to the barn so they can butcher it. Every one of his kids are crying, and he makes them butcher these cows so they can 'appreciate sacrifice'.

What a swell guy.
 
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