I got the game earlier than most after paying £50 for the privilege.
Spoiler-Free Review
The environment/setting
I think by now the presumption this to be an open world game has been concluded to be nothing but a misconception. In reality, for all the scope, detail and authenticity of the city, it feels like a prop of a static background more suited, ironically, for a Hollywood set than it being a reflection of a living urban environment. There is no interaction involved save the ability to occasionally bump it lamp posts or benches because of the poor driving controls. 95% of the discussion you hear on the rare moments you step outside your automobile is essentially "Look, it's that cop from the papers". There is no chatter or sign of life. The hot dog stands we saw in GTA IV make a return but surprisingly you can't interact with them either.
At the beginning of the game, it's noted that you can enter buildings with golden handles but in reality you can only enter buildings relating to the actual case, whether it be a store or motel you had interview someone in. Unlike previous Rockstar iterations, you can't shop for inventory - the buildings, of which rarely catch your interest outside the landmarks, are effectively a background. And the ones I mentioned you could enter? Their only purpose is to interview a character - you can't actually interact with anything inside them. From a design perspective, I'm curious as to why Team Bondi failed to take advantage of this by i.e. requiring players to improve their fitness (for the countless on-foot chase scenes); perhaps access to a Gym with mini-games that improve your stamina? Heck, why not require the player to eat once in a while for the same reason?
The vehicles that populate the streets are forgettable and appear, outside detailed study of the trunk, to feature 5 different models. Sometimes, you'll want to try to immerse yourself into the setting by changing cars. Even though they will stop, they will only do so if you walk directly in front of them. You can't call a cab, or call for a car to stop - you have to get next to the window, and this will see you often chasing a car just to be able to get behind its wheel. Being LA, the weather rarely varies. In fact, the night-day transitions rarely vary unless you're actively searching around the map for a landmark or a film reel; these weather transitions are uncommon within the actual story though. In the 20 hours it took me to complete the game, it rained twice in open play and twice in cinematics. So, being outside - in this large city, is pretty pointless. The driving is clumsy and there is nothing visually interesting to look at; a complete contrast to the free roam abilities you have in Red Dead or Grand Theft Auto IV; remember speeding in a motorcycle on a wet highway during rain and being chased by cops? Yeah, well I hope you enjoy watching rail cars because that's the height of the excitement you'll have, unless its a scripted chase sequence that lasts a few blocks and ends in the predictable arrest after the repetitive tactic of bumping it off course. Arguably there was more atmosphere in a fire camp in RDR than what I experienced in the entire LA. I'm left genuinely baffled by those who actually enjoyed the environment.
The investigation/interrogation
This is the bread and butter of the game. Unfortunately, for 14 straight cases, you're first phase of the investigation involves crime scenes the size of your toilet. The police mark out the vicinity around the scene, leaving a small space where clues are placed. You find them quite easily enough, even without the vibration helping you. After those 2 minutes of searching, you are directed to the conveniently placed telephone - which always seems to be directly next to the body or vehicle. You call, the same lady picks up, and she gives you an address. You ask the suspect 3 or 4 pre-defined questions, and judging by whether or not their eyes lean left or right, it is a cue to press either Doubt or Lie; the latter being a lie when you found evidence that contradicts their statement. Investigation done. You are then directed to another crime scene - same tune, walk around for a few seconds, stumble across the oddly placed object, ask them the pre-set question and respond to the cue.
This mechanic was present in RDR, but for a bar game. Given, there was no facial capture technology behind the faces, its nonetheless essentially responding to a scripted scene, except they've managed to class it as an entire game this time. In fact it could be said the entire game is centered on watching the facial expressions rather than the actual story. It is compounded by the bizarre changes of tone by Phelps, already mentioned, where he asks one question in a calm tone, then the other angrily for no explicable reason, and then back to a tone of politeness. Personally, all the cases until the last Desk, and perhaps the one before it (Vice) were completely unappealing, uninteresting and crucially offered no sense of mystery or intrigue. The lask Desk is different in structure and in content. It doesn't involve looking for an individual suspect or relying on actual clues - by now you already know who is involved, but Team Bondi set you out on finding the reasons why. Most importantly, it isn't set around a dead body or a crime scene. It's a welcome change of pace, but it ends right after that.
I'm concerned that the DLC will be of similar structure as the cases that preceded this Desk, where by you are told to go to X crime scene, pick up the objects off the floor and then go to a telephone to get the address of suspect 1. I'm actively considering what game(s) I could this trade in for. I've been fortunate enough to be great games this generation, but this is possibly one of the worst I've personally played.
6.5 - 7 out of 10
