Staying negative with you guys around is basically impossible
I don't know why the frustration got so bad lately. I played a few rounds with Ice_Beam some time ago and it seemed like he knew exactly what I would do in every situation to the point where I questioned every move I wanted to make which only made it worse. He destroyed me in a way that I haven't been destroyed in a long time. Granted he's one of the best players in Germany, but I didn't know my playstyle was THAT predictable. At that point I realized what I lacked, but instead of motivating me it kind of made me succumb to that weird frustration.
Someone once told me I should be "more than JFSR" and I think I haven't gotten to that point yet. I want to get to a point where I feel like the moves I use are the right ones in that situation, where my playstyle "makes sense". Sometimes I still stand in front of a lying opponent and instead of proper Okizeme I start throwing out random moves that wouldn't even catch him if he stood up the wrong way. Sometimes I sidestep after getting hit or fall for the same trap 2-3 times. My backdash is so weird sometimes that I forget to hold up my defense and get launched. That's the things I have to work on, but instead I panic and do the same mistakes when I'm in a match.
The best place to learn how to deal with stress is Ranked battles, but that's probably where my bad habits come from. Sometimes I watch replays of matches I lost and don't understand what I was doing. I can't learn from those mistakes because it was too random in that situation to begin with.
I hit a wall half a year ago and I stopped improving since then. It's hard to stay motivated at that point. My execution and combos are pretty good, I can sidestep stuff and my movement isn't bad and I even break throws occasionally. Other than that I have a long way to go, but I'll hang in there. I promise
