Story time I guess
I don't even know where to start with this shit. So my sister been having problems with her baby daddy. 3 years ago dude does some dumb shit with his friends and get his ass put in prison. His sentence was 3 years and he came out of prison this spring. During the beginning of his sentence they break up. Basically he wants her back but my sister moved on and was seeing another guy. He starts stalking the guy she was seeing Instagram page (he had to friend the guy since his instagram page is private, afaik) and notices a picture of her son and the dude with the caption that says that's my boy. He gets mad and sends my sister angry texts about don't let me son be around this nigga and then starts threatening her with physical violence and threatening to take the boy. Naturally my sister is keeping this guy at arms length and not happy with this situation at all but doesn't know what to do about.
He comes over today to my mothers house unannounced to take his son to the park but my sister isn't there. My mom pulls him to the side and talks to him about what he's doing and why it's wrong and a stern yo moms! like manner. So this seems like enough drama already but here is where shit gets interesting. My cousins and aunt actually jumps to the guys defense. They start saying like my sister has a mouth, we don't know what she said to him, he don't mean what he said anyway, and it's not fair that he can't take his kid to the park etc. They even start arguing with my mom saying she's wrong for talking to him the way she is. They even said that hes just in telling her who she cant and can have their son around. My aunt drops this little jewel "I know where he coming from if I had a chair and I see someone else sitting in it imma feel a way about."
So guys idk wtf to do about this shit at all and its really killing my vibe right now.
He definitely lost the ability to have a relationship with her. He went to jail and is threatening her? He on probation? She might really fuck his whole life up. They won't think twice of putting him back in.
As far as him having a relationship with the child, I would want every man to have that but he's got to do it the right way. Mainly, not threatening other people and get his life in order. Now's not the time to be fucking up; if illegal immigrants can stand on the corner outside of home depot begging for work, then he has to ask himself what's truly important. He can go into a funk and blame everything except himself or get out there and hustle to make something for himself. That's cold ass logic but reality. Life is unfair for convicts. Sorry.
All this advice is assuming he did some terrible shit to get three years. I think I would modify it knowing what he did.
I would back my mom and tell the other folk to step aside. Like, 'don't come back to the house' type of shit. 'We ain't down with no fuck shit of you beating my sister' and the whole train goes full stop when he plays that. I would pull him aside and let him know that. From how you describe it, I have a smidge of sympathy for him but when you threaten a woman, it's out the door. Stop that yesterday. And threatening moms fucks up your dad privileges.
Then its a long long road to redemption. I can't tell you how long it takes but we have to see immediate improvement and he has to come correct. I would advise monitored visits at public locations but after you fully know he's not a threat. As a man, you talking to him may get that. I would advise your sister to document the threats, consider legal action if he doesn't correct himself like yesterday(restraints from the police, etc) and consider moving, changing cell phone numbers.
Did I mention he is fucking up? I just reread: he's threatening to take the kid? Who does that? As Chappele said 'We would have made orange juice out of dat nigga... They would have found a bloody glove... At OUR HOUSE.' I have no tolerance for the threats. He may not be serious but the potential for your sister and her son to end up on the evening news is too high. That's enough to just say fuck it, go to the police and get a restraining order and ask for charges on a guy who's probably on probation. But only you can tell us how he truly is. A lot of people would give no fucks and still put him behind bars and I wouldn't give a single fuck when you threaten a mom and her child. As guys, we have no good way of understanding the terror that comes with that. We naturally feel like we can handle that easily and it doesn't happen to us often. They get the kids through court and we don't have a great chance of dying. I just thought I saw on the news some dad killing the whole family, mom and grand mom. Actually, the more I write the more I want to just throw him back in jail. Stupid. Threats on text after getting out of jail?