The only basis of your argument has been that it's not legal to tell someone to clean your house after they make a mess. I'm telling you no one cares because this is an issue about ethics and respect, not the legal argument, therefore it's irrelevant. There's plenty of things we do or don't do on the basis of social graces. That is the context this thread is being discussed under. If your reason for breaking any of these social rules is "It's not illegal" then you're being an asshole. And if you're raising your kids not to respect people's property, you're raising assholes. It's legal to be an asshole, and if you're okay with being an asshole then good on you, but again we're conducting this conversation on one of ethics and not law. Now that you've clarified that it's not legal (or has precedent) to tell someone to clean a mess they made, bring yourself back to the actual context of this thread.
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The neighbor's dog went inside their house, and the neighbor scolds you for doing so.
- Thread starter Tony Iron Man Stark
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The only basis of your argument has been that it's not legal to tell someone to clean your house after they make a mess. I'm telling you no one cares because this is an issue about ethics and respect, not the legal argument, therefore it's irrelevant. There's plenty of things we do or don't do on the basis of social graces. That is the context this thread is being discussed under. If your reason for breaking any of these social rules is "It's not illegal" then you're being an asshole. And if you're raising your kids not to respect people's property, you're raising assholes. It's legal to be an asshole, and if you're okay with being an asshole then good on you, but again we're conducting this conversation on one of ethics and not law. Now that you've clarified that it's not legal (or has precedent) to tell someone to clean a mess they made, bring yourself back to the actual context of this thread.
Oppo
Member
he didn't fuck up, is the issue.
it's their dog. the dog "made a mess" (remember: left some hair around, as humans and dogs and other mammals do.). the proper response from the neighbour, even ignoring the whole "outdoor dog" thing which smacks of neglect (yes, it does) is hey, listen, we don't normally let the dog in while he sheds, because we are anal retentive as fuck and make poor life decisions, so just try to remember next time. not hey asshole, you fucked up my room, now vacuum this shit up, I don't care if you were doing me a favour.
Triggerhappytel
Member
Where the fuck does she go while you look after her children?! And you do all these favours for her yet she still has the cheek to get shitty with you following an innocent mistake?!
BKatastrophe
Member
Definitely OP and the mom. Not sure how old the sister is, so including her is a dangerous game.
SoRuffShoNuff
Member
How does a dog living outside "smack of neglect"?
Triggerhappytel
Member
So you're in your late teens and sometimes you watch/babysit her daughter (who is also your friend?) for up to five hours?! The whole situation seems odd. I'd put some distance there if I were you.
hurricanes
Member
About ethics and respect:If she have any of that, she should have paid op for babysitting. Demanding free labor("favor") and acting like a demanding boss when he made a mistake is nothing near something you do when you have any basic of "social graces".
To op: you shouldn't have let the dog in. And you should clean up. But no it's not neighbourly of her to scold you for it. And if I were you I'd ask for pay for babysitting.
Honestly, if I were her I would have just politely asked the person who has been helping me to please not let the dog in next time and if it keeps happening, if it really bothered me that much, see if some one else can help me.
It's kinda like I have a neighbor who will watch my cats for me but I am pretty sure she's not great at making sure the litterbox is cleaned every day and the last time I came home and there was no water for the cats at all. IN the past that's not a huge deal as going two days wasn't horrible (even with a cat with failing kidneys which means they pee a lot). And to be fair for the water thing I told her she didn't have to come that day cause we'd actually be home mid day so if she came the morning before it is possible both water bowls evaporated out. But with my two current kittens and cat that will make for a really nasty litterbox quick (I don't know how two little things pee so much).
I don't feel comfortable chiding her cause she's doing me a huge favor and could just not be doing it at all. So now I'm wondering about either paying a service to come or boarding my cats (if it is worth it.. but with three cats now that adds up even more).
It's kinda like I have a neighbor who will watch my cats for me but I am pretty sure she's not great at making sure the litterbox is cleaned every day and the last time I came home and there was no water for the cats at all. IN the past that's not a huge deal as going two days wasn't horrible (even with a cat with failing kidneys which means they pee a lot). And to be fair for the water thing I told her she didn't have to come that day cause we'd actually be home mid day so if she came the morning before it is possible both water bowls evaporated out. But with my two current kittens and cat that will make for a really nasty litterbox quick (I don't know how two little things pee so much).
I don't feel comfortable chiding her cause she's doing me a huge favor and could just not be doing it at all. So now I'm wondering about either paying a service to come or boarding my cats (if it is worth it.. but with three cats now that adds up even more).
That's definitely something you'd say to someone who has no knowledge of the situation...but the OP is not that person.
SoRuffShoNuff
Member
Yeah saw statements that many dogs prefer it outdoors and that they shouldn't be on chains. Saw no reason why dogs can't spend the majority of their time outdoors.
Article mentioned that dogs need to be with their pack, well their pack is at work and school for a good portion of the day. Again, see no reason why they shouldn't spend that time outside instead of inside as long as the weather permits.
As for the portion that says no dog is able to live outside full time I suggest you travel the world a little bit. I can assure you that dogs can and do live outside full time.
She didn't demand free labor. She asked a favor and OP did it willingly. There is nothing unethical about this unless it is normal to demand payment for every little thing you do for friends and family.
Also, why do people keep characterizing this as an innocent mistake? Is it normal to do whatever you want with other people's animals, even when they tell you specifically what not to do with them?
GiantBreadbug
Member
Can people not fucking read? I mean holy shit.
Dunno why the OP had to be "translated" when I've seen unfathomably more unintelligible things out there.
And yeah neighbor is being a jerk. Sorry she has an outside pet (something that most people very poorly do to the point of neglect) and she doesn't want to clean up after it.
People unintentionally make messes for me to clean up all the time, and I know it's more worth my time to clean it myself than go yell at them and ask them to do it. Neighbor needed to be a grown up and do it herself, sorry.
Dunno why the OP had to be "translated" when I've seen unfathomably more unintelligible things out there.
And yeah neighbor is being a jerk. Sorry she has an outside pet (something that most people very poorly do to the point of neglect) and she doesn't want to clean up after it.
People unintentionally make messes for me to clean up all the time, and I know it's more worth my time to clean it myself than go yell at them and ask them to do it. Neighbor needed to be a grown up and do it herself, sorry.
You seemed to have missed the entire thread from the get-go which was unintelligible to the MAX.
he edited it multiple times after posting...
Coming back to this hours later; yeah your neighbor is a dick. Like, no need to yell at you, just let you know in the future not let the dog in the house. They also shouldn't have made you vacuum considering the favors you do for them.
My advice is put this incident behind you and think twice about doing any more favors for this neighbor.
My advice is put this incident behind you and think twice about doing any more favors for this neighbor.
hurricanes
Member
5 hours of babysitting is hardly "a little thing". and she's not his friend, her son is. She is very much taking advantage of OP's niceness and being extremely unforgiving when OP make a mistake. Is she entitled to demand op to clean the mess? Yes. But no decent person will pull an attitude while doing so.
5 hours?! that runs around $100 - $125 an around here. $20 an hour is a good deal $25 is pretty common.
She probably pulled an attitude because he knew not to do it, because it was established beforehand that he knew the dog was an outdoor dog and thus not allowed indoors. We're not talking about him accidentally putting food in the garbage can versus the garbage disposal she just got that he didn't know about it. He knew the dog's condition, and then disobeyed anyway. Why shouldn't she cop an attitude?
hurricanes
Member
Because it is neither a malicious nor a recurring mistake? She knows that OP is a good kid for helping her in serval occasions. A warning would have been more than sufficient. Scolding is hugely unnecessary and make her look intolerant and unforgiving.
A compulsion to post? It really is strange.
A mistake doesn't have to be malicious or recurring on part of the individual to cause a bad mood to the affected victim. Sometimes the way a mistake was performed (like not listening) or the affected property is enough to push someone to anger. Also, the act of scolding is not an action that reasonably signifies a concerning level of intolerance to others. It's an action to let you know not to fuck up again.
Oppo
Member
because-unless they are living on a farm and there's a barn for the dog to sleep in, then the owner most likely decided they don't want the dog anymore, and are ignoring it.
you don't keep "outdoor" dogs in the city or suburbs. hell, a cornered raccoon can disembowel a dog.
Gravy Boat
Member
I think the it should be added to the OP that he knew the dog wasn't allowed in the house. Many people seem to be missing that. This wasn't some 'innocent mistake'.
You actually believe that one dog could shed that much? Wake up. The truth is out there.
TickleMeElbow
Member
That's bullshit.
When I was in Japan, the people in the neighborhood I lived in kept their dogs outside (with a doghouse). They didn't bring the dogs inside because their feet would fuck up the tatame mats. They were well cared for and loved, just weren't allowed in the house (except if there was a typhoon or some shit).
hurricanes
Member
Taking out your anger to others just because you can do it is intolerance. As I said, a warning should have been enough.
hurricanes
Member
If your way of discipline involve scolding for a mistake like that, I found it to be very questionable.
Triggerhappytel
Member
It was from 7am in the morning as well. I'm not even out of bed and able to watch over my own kids at that time of day, let alone be over someone's house and ready for five hours of babysitting.
Do you think of your neighbor like she's your second son?
Triggerhappytel
Member
Just to be clear OP, what exactly are you looking for advice on? I don't think you need to apologise, unless it's just in casual conversation next time you're over there, i.e. "sorry about letting the dog in the other day. I didn't realise she'd make such a mess". You don't need to do anything beyond this, and you have already made up for it by vacuuming. I would still suggest you take a step back though, as it does sound like she's taking advantage of you, and doesn't appreciate all these little favours you keep doing. Next time she asks you to babysit for 5 hours, suggest you would be looking for a salary and you're happy to negotiate.
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
all in all
I'm just curious what kind of dog does your neighbor have?
I'm just curious what kind of dog does your neighbor have?
ZackieChan
Member
Why won't this dog release its long form birth certificate?
Oppo
Member
fair enough, i'm in Canada, where your dog will freeze to death half the year, or pick up roundworm from raccoon shit the other half.
WhateverItTakes
Banned
I'm personally wondering what the 'scolding' entailed. Is the OP upset about a minor telling off or a full on screaming match? GAF has apparently decided she's an evil bitch anyway so I guess it doesn't really matter.
What
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
Lmao, how old are you?
Gotdatmoney
Member
If you agree to do a favor for someone and they give you explicit instructions not to do something and they do it, why would you not listen to them? Of course she is mad/annoyed. Of course I dont believe you actually have to come over and clean anything up. No do I think anything other than a "thank you for helping me out but in the future can you make sure not to let the dog in because X, Y, Z". You did her a favor in the end either way. She can ask someone else for a favor or pay for services if she is not satisfied.
I personally would put an end to any dog duty or favors for her from this point forward. Like a simple "I understand you are annoyed so I'll clean it up but I did you a favor here so from here on out I wont be doing this anymore".
I personally would put an end to any dog duty or favors for her from this point forward. Like a simple "I understand you are annoyed so I'll clean it up but I did you a favor here so from here on out I wont be doing this anymore".
King Gilga
Member
OP's an idiot for doing something he knew wasn't kosher.
Neighbor is a douche of being a major dickhead about it.
OP's kind of a loser for just taking it and going with it.
Neighbor is a douche of being a major dickhead about it.
OP's kind of a loser for just taking it and going with it.
Triggerhappytel
Member
In which case... fuck your neighbour?!
Nipo is suggesting that Iron Tony Stark Man should charge next time he babysits.
Apparently the act of being upset at someone deliberately disrespecting your house rules is not enough to be told anything about except in the nicest manner possible.
ZackieChan
Member
The fact that he has a "best friend" gives it away.
super-famicom
Member
A few pages ago, he stated he is in his late teens. Which explains a lot.
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