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The New and Improved Cricket Thread© - Now Roadblock Free!

G

guidop

Member
2 things; Watson isn't a smart guy, one of those easily excitable persons and why are all the English players wearing those power balance bands? They don't actually think they work do they?
 
G

guidop

Member
newelly87 said:
Lol @ all the clarke hate. So jealous.
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I hate him so. Girls wanna see his dongle make a me jealouz

Tremlett on = Clarke out. He hasn't handle tremlett well at all this summer
 
D

Dead Man

Member
hamchan said:
CLAKE ISNT OUT YET! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
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I find myself very conflicted. I wanted Australia to eke out a draw (not likely now) but I also want Clarke to fail miserably. Looks like both dreams have been shattered. Great bowling by England here.
 
D

Dead Man

Member
A caption of a picture at the punch amused me. They discuss the stages of cricket grief with this picture and caption.

http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/the-punch-the-scg-day-4/

Michael-Clarke-sad.gif

The little-understood sixth phase of grief: tosserishness.

Well, that’ll do me. I give up. The farcical Hughes/Watson runout, the second between the hapless duo in two tests, is all the evidence you need that the Aussie cricketers are completely stuffed in every conceivable way.

This was going to be a piece in praise of England. Because really, as much as we’ve all bagged Australia all summer, the Poms have been brilliant. There are no Capital G “Greats” in this England team, but each player plays his part to perfection.

But forget England. We’ve just had what can only be called a revelation. Slightly unexpected twist here, but let’s switch our attention to Swiss-born psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, whose seminal work On Death and Dying could well have been written for this summer of cricket.

In On Death And Dying, Kubler Ross identifies five stages of grief, which I’m sure you’re familiar with, as they’ve pretty much passed into popular culture.

So here’s where things get really spooky. Each Kubler-Ross phase corresponds with a Test in this series. Seriously, you’d swear Kubler-Ross had been sitting in the outer all summer.

Phase 1: Denial. (The Brisbane Test)
As the pre-series tour against India demonstrates, Australian cricket is in trouble. But when Hilfenhaus bowls Strauss on the third ball and Siddle takes a hat-trick, we have reason to be in total denial about our inability to bowl out England in the second innings in this drawn match. Foolish us.

Phase 2: Anger. (The Adelaide Test)
We totally suck in all departments in a massive defeat. Kubler-Ross says the victim in this phase usually asks “Who is to Blame?” Australia answers: Xavier Doherty, with a special mention to Ricky Ponting for picking him.

Phase 3: Bargaining (The Perth Test)
“So unfair universe…” Australia asks. “If we recall the dropped Mitchell Johnson can we have at least one win?” And the universe says “okey-dokey. But there’ll be hell to pay later.” Johnson duly has his one good match of the series. Then sucks thereafter.

Phase 4: Depression. (The Melbourne Test)
90,000 pack the MCG to watch a team play who would’ve got beaten by Malvern fourth grade. According to Kubler-Ross, people in this phase ask: “Why bother with anything?” Cricket fans do likewise.

Phase 5: Acceptance (The Sydney Test)
We’re rubbish, we admit it. The whole of Australia admits it. And The Punch is not going to the SCG for the last rites tomorrow, free lunch or no free lunch.
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phisheep

phisheep

NeoGAF's Chief Barrister
Barmy Army singing God Save the Queen, huh. Seems a bit pointless that, since she is the Queen of both countries.
 
C

Choc

Banned
phisheep said:
Barmy Army singing God Save the Queen, huh. Seems a bit pointless that, since she is the Queen of both countries.
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they are singing your queen not the queen.

it's exerting english dominance
 
M

Meadows

Banned
BBC Test Match Special's Michael Vaughan
"Here's a joke. What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer? Retired."

B

U

R

N
 
M

Meadows

Banned
More!

"Vaughan on TMS.:What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne? A waiter."

BBC Test Match Special's Michael Vaughan
"What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch? A fisherman."

Martyn, Southampton, TMS inbox: "Just to join Vaughany in the terrible jokes stakes... Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment? They haven't got any openers..."
 
scotcheggz

scotcheggz

Member
Meadows said:
BBC Test Match Special's Michael Vaughan
"Here's a joke. What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer? Retired."

B

U

R

N
Click to expand...

:lol

Bet this rain is welcome isn't it? Ozzies been dancing all night? :p
 
L

legend166

Member
I do admit, listening to all the previous English players who were consistently embarrassed by Australia (not so much Vaughn, but Hussein, Atherton, Grieg, Lloyd, et al) now living vicariously through this team is pretty funny.

This team winning isn't going to make your careers any better, chumps!
 
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