So as I discussed yesterday, I absconded to the nearest Apple store to exchange my iPad. Thankfully, it is located less than a few miles away from my homestead. Before I left I confirmed with an Apple Customer Service representative whether, in the event of a hardware defect or failure, I could swap out an engraved iPad in an Apple Store for an unmarked one. The CS rep confirmed that to be true, then playfully asked what the engraving was. Bothered as I was by the scratch never mind the screen density! I quickly logged off Apples online chat before I typed out something Id regret.
I arrived at the Apple store around 3pm, leaving my daughter and her gorilla glass-destroying hands with her mother. Perhaps she could use those hands for good and shatter her current boyfriends arm.
I entered the store with iPad exposed, tucked into the nook of my left arm while its box dangled in a yellow Best Buy bag to my right.
Without hesitation I ambled up to the genius bar and explained my situation. First, I wasnt impressed with the quality of the screen. He goes on about how a few customers had light bleed issues and that theyve swapped out a few of the most egregious displays.
Did any of them have higher density screens? I asked
Huh?
Oh, never mind, it was a small joke.
I playfully push his shoulder to emphasize my jocular nature, but realized soon that he was far weaker than most people Ive dealt with. I sent him back several feet and apologized profusely for the mishap. I explained the push as one premised on friendship and camaraderie, an explanation he readily accepted. I could sense that he trusted me.
I then explained what happened with my daughter. How she stole the iPad in a fit of Angry Bird rage and flung it off the table as if it too were on a slingshot. It was a display of petulance that has, sadly, become all too common of late. I believe it to be from the inner rage of watching her parents divorce, but it will take years of therapy to tease that out.
He noticed the scratch immediately, and said it was remarkable that the device managed one so easily. Apparently mine was special. After staring at the screen a few times while turning the device on and off through the power switch, he eventually looked up and said hed swap out the device for a new one, no charge.
I smiled, but asked if it was okay because that the device was engraved. Looking back down at the device and flipping over, he was in the midst of saying
It wont be an issue at
There was silence for a few seconds.
What does this mean?
He looked back up at me. At this point I needed to associate my target with a name, so without gazing off his eyes I asked for it.
Look, George, I know its only a marketing term at this point, but lets be honest here. This is all a sham. This isnt a retina display. The PPI is clearly below 300, which Steve Jobs claimed was the magic point where pixels faded away.
No, this is a retina display. If you hold this at a normal distance from your face you wont notice a pixel.
If I narrow my eyes and squint I wont notice it either.
If you need to squint to pretend this is a Retina display you must have some issues.
How could you call this a Retina screen, only to clarify that distance becomes an issue? I ask incredulously. I turn around and notice a row of Macbook Airs on a table. Do you consider those devices to have Retina screens?
Of course not, b-
I cut George off immediately. Well I surely dont see any pixels on those displays from here, so why shouldnt those be Retina as well? Cant you see this is all a sham, George? They sold us on over 320 PPI for our devices, then hand us this garbage while telling us to forget the past!.
Look, its a Retina screen because thats what Apple calls it
Exactly! Its a marketing term now!
No, there is a scientific basis for it, factoring in pixel density and how far you hold the device from your screen.
In which case nearly any laptop screen or tablet can be called a Retina display (I did make air quotes) so long as you hold the device at enough of a distance from your face. Come on, George, dont you see how stupid this is? Theyre selling us crap and telling us its fillet mignon!
This display is nice, but it certainly isnt as dense as the iPhone 4 or 4S! Do you think Steve Jobs wouldve allowed this to happen were he still alive? Its shameful how slowly this company is turning away from its trendsetting pace, content to follow the herd instead of being the leader!
I clench my fist and raise it.
Sir, youre talking about, what, 70 pixels-per-inch at most.
Yes, and that is what defines a Retina screen for what it truly is
quantifiable and qualitative. The best of the best. This is just garbage, and I cant believe Apple this is how the company now treats its most loyal customers
I take the device out of his hands, and for show, drop it on the counter. There is silence for a few seconds as George realizes that a crowd has formed, both among the customers and some staff. He turns around while whispering something into his headset microphone, taps on his store iPhone and says hell swap the device for me, but only if I agree to leave immediately.
George doesnt even look me in the eye. Its simply shameful.
After some more haggling, I convince George to upgrade my purchase to a cellular model with 32gb of RAM. I chose Verizon as Ive read in this thread that people seem to have the best speeds with them.
Yes, there is irony in that I am spending even more money on a device whose screen, and the marketing behind it, I despise. I cant explain it either.
So that is my story. My engraved, Retina-If-You-Squint iPad is history. I should have taken a picture of the device beforehand, but I barely used it in the days I had it, and was too upset over the scratch (and the device itself, actually) to even bother. I can see the value of the upgrade with the LTE upgrade, though. The speed of the cellular connection is amazing, and should prove useful on some upcoming business trips. I remember the hotel wifi in Birmingham, AL to be particularly wretched the last time I attended a conference there.
they only have 4G versions.
