Sleeping with someone is pretty comfortable, why would you want to ruin it with disgusting sex?
Times you have read into sexual/romantic advances incorrectly
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Sleeping with someone is pretty comfortable, why would you want to ruin it with disgusting sex?
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
I am sorry, but this is a funny thing to say considering you put forth a story about her wanting to bone you out in the public and even put forth a photo of her for everyone to see so they can identify who she is very easily. I am sure she will appreciate the fact that you tell everyone here that story while of course basically revealing her identity, I mean, who wouldn't, right?
Have some damn respect? Hahaha.
It's still courtesy.
ConradCervantes
Banned
Girl and I were making out in her bedroom when we were seventeen or so, think she may have been a year younger. I was in the midst of a dry spell and had a raging hard-on. In the middle of it she stops to catch her breath, then takes off her shirt and bra to "make [her]self more comfortable." I give my approval and we resume. After thirty seconds of macking, I move my hand from her tummy up to her tit, and she grabs my hand and pushes it down all "No no no, look don't touch." I was like "Girl, you serious? Can't just whip out dem tittays without a man wanting at least a grope!" She told me she wasn't ready for that just yet, which definitely meant I wasn't getting any that night. Bluest balls ever.
I later hooked up with a friend of hers I met at a Christmas party shortly afterwards, so all was well in the end.
I later hooked up with a friend of hers I met at a Christmas party shortly afterwards, so all was well in the end.
Complex Shadow
Cudi Lame
i had a kind of a little crush on a girl (girl A) in high school, who was in the same class as me. whenever we had group work, me, her and her friend (girl B) would group up. turns out her friend was pretty into me, i had no clue, even after she(A) explicitly told me in front her friend(B). i just kinda brushed it off, and toke it as a way for her to tell me to back off and give her room ( that and i thought she was trying to prank me or something ). like 2 years later i saw her, and she told me again " she(B) was really into you, like really " at that point i just shrugged and went on with my day.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
Well, alright, but it's just funny he demanded people to show respect to the lady after what he personally did himself in this thread.
This one chick on some cam site was really getting into a heated chat with me, and oh man I thought I finally had found the one. Alas, she started asking about tokens and from that point on I knew she was just trying to work me for my sweet, sweet money.. Not falling for that one! Ha!
I have no words for what that girl did to you, that's just depressing.
crazy_about_denise
Member
Am I the only one to get that or similar more than once in his life and to think it wasn't that brutal?
Anyhow, if the girl has some sense of guilt because of it she should just do something else maybe?
A
A More Normal Bird
Unconfirmed Member
I'm sorry, but half your posts in this thread seem to come from some bizarro-world. Who on earth goes to a club, meets a stranger and then returns to their house, takes off their clothes and gets into their bed for the sole purpose of sleeping? I racked my brain and came up with a jewel thief wanting to case the bedroom. If you just want to crash somewhere sleep on the couch. If the bed is the only option make your intentions clear beforehand. If I was in that situation I'd leave some of my clothes on as well. Even if you know the person going over to their house late at night and climbing into their bed in a state of undress is pretty damn different to the usual platonic reasons for sharing a bed. "At least you didn't sleep alone that night." Yes, because having someone you don't know and don't want to touch for fear of being misinterpreted taking up half of your bed is one of life's better pleasures. At least the confusion is offset by the protection their shared body-heat gives from glacial winds.
sleeping_dragon
Banned
Everyday at the gym. It distracts me greatly from my workout.
Liquid_015
Gold Member
Uncle Rupee
Banned
What's up with all the people in this thread trying to shame JasonMCG?
What was he supposed to do, rape her? She denied him three times, pretty sure she wasn't into him. That doesn't mean he needs to hand in his "man card". Though poking her with his dick afterwards was a disgusting creep move. Don't you have a couch?
What was he supposed to do, rape her? She denied him three times, pretty sure she wasn't into him. That doesn't mean he needs to hand in his "man card". Though poking her with his dick afterwards was a disgusting creep move. Don't you have a couch?
Welcome to my world. This happens to me all the time. Sigh. What can I do
Stop making new woman friends. If it's not good for you psychologically, just stop it.
I kept my closest friends but said "I don't want another relationship like this anymore, it's not doing me any good". And so I did.
I had a friend that had a girlfriend invite him to her house, they were naked on the bed with each other and she was on top of him ready to go then she just said " Na " or something like that, she got up and kicked him out of the house.
After he told me and my friends we all came to the realization that some people are just messed up, my friend still talks about it to this day since that night was hell for him.
Liquid_015
Gold Member
Yeah tell me about it. I make a few female frds, but all they do in the end is use me cause they wanted someone to talk to. Worse case was an old high school frd (who never messages me and we havent talked in like 4 years) wouldn't stop talking about her fight with her BF. I'm fucking 21 with zero experience.... how am I gonna help :/
ConradCervantes
Banned
That was someone else. Jason turned down willing poon. From a model, no less.
To Jason: it's alright, man. I've been propositioned before, but due to inebriation or unreciprocated attraction, I didn't move forward either. And if whomever you're with makes you happy, good for you.
No one is saying it isn't misleading, what is being said is that you make your move you get denied game is over. Go ahead kick them out of your house, but beyond that one denial, you start getting in to the rapey-er side of things.
You're not messed up just because you change your mind about something.
Jason got an all expenses paid trip to Pound Town and was oblivious to it.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Huh, this thread just made me come to an interesting realization about my life.
I've got lots of women friends, some of them past girlfriends or flings, and we definitely talk about each other's relationships and any other stuff going on in our day to day lives, but I can't say I've felt like a single one of them has ever been overbearing about it, or crossed the line to where I felt she was just letting out steam and I didn't care to listen anymore.
Now I'm a fairly good listener, but far from the most patient person in the world, to the point I believe this isn't just a sign of my lady friends all being exceptionally stable and efficient when it comes to dealing with emotional matters.
I care for all of them and appreciate our friendships very much of course, but now I also think they hold back a bit due to the way our conversations usually develop. You see my life has been full of unpleasant and unexpected shit for many years now, so it seems like almost every time we get together and catch up I'm always dropping some bomb like "my mother has cancer", "my sister is missing and the police are investigating her disappearance", "my father was put in a mental institution", "I'm in the hospital for internal bleeding", etc.
Kind of a morbid thing to be joking about, but I actually find it amusing that due to the circumstances of my life in recent years I essentially have it easy when it comes to providing emotional support
I've got lots of women friends, some of them past girlfriends or flings, and we definitely talk about each other's relationships and any other stuff going on in our day to day lives, but I can't say I've felt like a single one of them has ever been overbearing about it, or crossed the line to where I felt she was just letting out steam and I didn't care to listen anymore.
Now I'm a fairly good listener, but far from the most patient person in the world, to the point I believe this isn't just a sign of my lady friends all being exceptionally stable and efficient when it comes to dealing with emotional matters.
I care for all of them and appreciate our friendships very much of course, but now I also think they hold back a bit due to the way our conversations usually develop. You see my life has been full of unpleasant and unexpected shit for many years now, so it seems like almost every time we get together and catch up I'm always dropping some bomb like "my mother has cancer", "my sister is missing and the police are investigating her disappearance", "my father was put in a mental institution", "I'm in the hospital for internal bleeding", etc.
Kind of a morbid thing to be joking about, but I actually find it amusing that due to the circumstances of my life in recent years I essentially have it easy when it comes to providing emotional support
In college one drunken night this girl called me over her dorm. She was in her bed and told me to get in and jumped ontop of me and started making out. I attempted to take things further but she said no and I stopped.
Then for the next couple days she sent me some dirty texts. Like, really dirty. Absolutely filthy! And wanted me to describe in detail what I'd do to her and all that.
Then a couple days later were alone and she's sober and extremely awkward around me and there's no sexual chemistry whatsoever. I realized she's only frisky when drunk. Not worth my time.
I faked not feeling good, asked her to leave and played rock band with my roommates all night.
Then for the next couple days she sent me some dirty texts. Like, really dirty. Absolutely filthy! And wanted me to describe in detail what I'd do to her and all that.
Then a couple days later were alone and she's sober and extremely awkward around me and there's no sexual chemistry whatsoever. I realized she's only frisky when drunk. Not worth my time.
I faked not feeling good, asked her to leave and played rock band with my roommates all night.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I really don't like how you're making me nitpick this to death in order to get my point across. The problem here stems from poor communication, and instead of acknowledging that fact the girl is essentially shifting all the responsibility to the guy, which is wrong.
If she perceived it as a completely non-romantic or non-sexual get together with no possibility to develop into anything else, then what was she doing implying he may have a shot at seeing her bedroom?
And if, as you suggest, she was considering a one night stand, then it's up to her to be much more clear that this is what she has in mind, because for him to assume a casual innuendo like that implies such a thing is much more risky than to assume she's just somewhat interested in him.
So either way you look at it, she's the one that wasn't being clear. He interpreted her signals in a manner that was completely reasonable and acted upon them correctly and respectfully.
Had she then said "No, thank you" or "I've changed my mind" or something to that effect, it would have been fine, because she would have acknowledged there was a legitimate basis for him to ask her out. But by saying "you got the wrong idea" she was essentially denying his interpretation of the situation, which is just misleading and dishonest.
And this other case is just one of many examples in this thread of why it's important for both sides to work on their communication at an early age, starting from the little things. It shows how misunderstandings that lead to potential sexual or emotional harm later in life stem from the exact same ones that occur over the small things like "was it an "actual date" or just a "hangout"?"
Just as men have a responsibility to listen and obey when a woman is clear, so do women have the responsibility to be
SkepticalPanda
Member
My age probably limits my understanding of situations like this. When I go out, girls know what they want, almost to the point that they're forward. They, as much I, don't have time for silly games. Maybe its just a new generation.
I agree with much of what you said, but this is projecting a level of confidence on to women that is unreasonable. We are insecure of our own feelings most of the time, and yet we assume others are sure of themselves because we don't see their internal strife. Just like many guys are unsure of how to interpret advances, women do the same. Humans tend to over-emphasise their perspective, and it's just as likely that a forum with a prominently female membership has the mirror of this thread. It's not about who was right or wrong, but what we take away from our experiences.
Vox-Pop, is that you?
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
How can both sexes take away something meaningful from the experience and learn from it if they can't even agree on what the experience was?
That is the part I have trouble with...
Regarding an over emphasis on one's own perspective, the way to deal with this is to increase interaction and exposure to one another from as early an age as possible, so that each of us can learn first hand how our behavior is perceived by others and how it affects them.
I'd love to understand more about why women feel as if they are less sure of themselves than others around them, because I definitely agree with you that there is a difference in how we perceive ourselves and the world at the bottom of this. Men, I feel, are the opposite and tend to err on the side of confidence more often. To date, the best explanation I could find for this difference is based on evolutionary concepts that are very difficult to prove.
I'd like to add my approval here as well. vikki did nothing wrong and has nothing to feel bad about.
Man, there's nothing wrong with this. She had a boyfriend, so what? Doesn't make this a clueless advance; you made the right move and she thought you were sweet regardless.
This thread is like a terrifying dip into the male psyche. My eyes are bleeding.
crazy_about_denise
Member
I agree on a lot of what you say but it's to simple to say men have the confidence edge.
I think it's more an individual question.
If I find myself flipping sides too often I lose patience with myself and go for one option.
If the result doesn't match my expectations I analyse it, and eventually need more samples. If I don't get them I lose even more patience...
First I was like "care to explain?" but now I'm like I don't give....
Evolutionary concepts?
:lol
It's much more simple than that. Women have been up until very recently struggling in a society (both Western and Eastern) that tries to ensure they have as little confidence or self-assurance as possible.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I'm aware of that explanation as well, and actually find it much more complex and even less convincing. Certainly it played a big part in determining how our society is built, but as a first principle it falls short in my opinion.
I'm not saying the evolutionary explanation is the correct one, but rather saying that even that explanation is weak, or in other words I'm still not satisfied by the explanations I've heard.
The person initiating the relationship, man or woman, knows their desired outcome but can sometimes find difficulty expressing these desires due to fear of rejection. It becomes a matter of a theoretical relationship providing more comfort ('what could be') than having to face a real relationship with all its ups and downs. Projected relationships are incredibly selfish because it's one person thinking only about their wants and needs rather than considering the feelings of the person they have convinced themselves they care about. Meanwhile the person not initiating the relationship might have never considered it a possibility due to either a lack of attraction to the person in question or insecurity (how many people in this thread stated they had no idea they were being hit on because they considered themselves out of that person's league?)
I don't think it's as much a male/female thing as you make it out to be, but a human thing. Relationships are now about happiness rather than survival/status/business. We often have no idea what will make us happy, which leads to awkward situations.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I was struggling with the phrasing and ended up making a poor choice of words earlier, saying women have a responsibility to be consistent about what they feel is wrong. Asking that of anybody would be too much. What I probably should have said is they have a responsibility to be clear about what they feel and make sure they're understood (men have this responsibility too of course).
Being the side that is more often pursued than doing the pursuing, I agree with you completely that it is unreasonable to assume the woman has a desired outcome in mind, (unless the roles are reversed obviously). And I'd love to see the female equivalent of this thread, because it does feel like too much emphasis is being put on just one side of the picture.
PanicFreak
Member
And how old are you?
Because we've been conditioned to be less sure of ourselves. You say you don't buy that explanation, but no offense, it sounds like you're discrediting it because you haven't had the experience yourself (as someone who is not a woman).
Fairly Rational
Banned
An ex girlfriend of mine called me up on Saturday night asking if she could come over. I kept telling her it wasn't a good idea, but she kept saying we could order a pizza and just "talk and stuff." Thinking back, the way she kept stressing "and stuff" makes me think she was after some pepperoni in addition to extra cheese.
Meh, whatever.
Meh, whatever.
1. Sometimes people's feelings change, deal with it. You want humans to be unchanging emotional rocks, we aren't.
2. If you want something you have to get it yourself. If you want clarity on if something is a date or not and if some one is romantically interested in you have to set those boundaries that when approached lets you feel inclined that they are into you. One of those boundaries is if I say to a girl lets go out on a date or let me take you out sometime, that means they like me and want to get to know me more. People know what a date means. That why declaring an excursion a date or not is important to avoid confusion for both parties involved.
3. The girl that dude went out with made it clear that he got the wrong idea by shooting him down on the next official invitation for a date. That's how it goes.
Seriously, men and women are all confused. Depression, self loathing, and uncertainty help sell stuff. The consequences of those tactics in marketing is generations of to scared to appropriately express how they feel to one and other.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I'm not entirely discounting that possibility, but sometimes when I think about it, it almost seems to be more demeaning to women to assume that as a whole they could be manipulated like that by men, all else being equal. History has records of class struggles, cultural clashes, religious wars, and if this were primarily a social issue I'd expect to see some records of a conflict between the sexes. The alternative is that this conflict occurred in pre history, and that we've been living with the status quo for as long as civilization has existed.
Furthermore, we know for a fact there are very real physiological differences between male and female individuals in any species, as well as differing behaviors. When it comes to humans we also know of considerable differences when it comes to variability of certain traits such as chronic health and mental problems which are determined at birth and seem to occur much more frequently in men. So from this point of view it is only natural to believe there may also be differences in whatever drives us socially.
I certainly do not believe there's a difference in abilities between the sexes nor a difference in potential, but rather a difference in how we act on these capabilities and the desires that stem from them.
It's also easy to look back only on recent centuries and paint a picture of an oppressive patriarchal society when you could just as easily turn the picture on its head and look at some of the things accomplished by women as major victories. Is it not a major achievement that women have almost never had to risk and sacrifice their lives for land and natural resources even though they've always enjoyed the benefits when belonging to the winning or otherwise successful side?
When we look back on human civilization it is apparent that as time goes on, these sort of physical benefits become less and less important due to the advent of walls, city states, industry and so on, but for the majority of human existence this was not the case. Even the intellectual rights and liberties women fight so hard to achieve today have only been available to most men of the world for about a century, and while it certainly isn't comforting or fair to see the world adapt and change so slowly while our own lives pass by, this isn't an issue exclusive to women's social status. Far from it.
The conflict is happening now. And no, it's not more demeaning. I think it's more demeaning to assume that evolution has designated our roles to be more passive and somehow naturally subservient to the wills of men.
I wouldn't call that being an achievement when you are literally the property of someone else. Sounds very much like the paternalistic arguments for the advantages of being a slave.
Holy dear god. I don't even know what you are arguing anymore, but I assure you that history as a whole is worse off for not treating women as equals, and none of that has anything to do with why women won't touch your dick.
The behaviour of that girl sounds like something I'd do. Yeah, I can be pretty oblivious about things like that. For instance, my current girlfriend had to make a move on me when I invited her over for tea. I didn't even see it as a date back then, I just wanted some company.Met a cute girl in a club and got her into my place. After 5 minutes of talking she asks if she could sleep at my place for the night because she's too tired to walk to her place. I'm like "Yeah sure but I only have one bed"p) and I'm thinking I'm gonna bang her right? Wrong.
We go to my bed and straight to a spoon position with underwear on and I start kissing her neck. She turns around and says I got the wrong idea, she just wants to sleep. I was like "Haha good one..." and continue. She stops again and says no really she didn't come to my place and to my fucking bed for sex. I'm confused as fuck but then just say "Okay then, let's just sleep". Of course I couldn't sleep for like 40 minutes because my boner didn't come down and I even poked her every now and then so she couldn't sleep either.
Next morning when we wake up my first thought is that maybe she really was sleepy so I make my move again. Rejected for the third time. I gave up at that point and just made us breakfast and then she left.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Please explain to me how the world would be a better place if during World War I and II an entire generation of both men and women were lost in the west, instead of just a generation of men?
And please explain to me why getting yourself killed is actually more respectable than being passive? If anything I'd say the smart/lucky ones are those that could avoid it.
(To be clear, I don't associate this with subservience, nor do I think women should be subservient to the wills of men).
We live with this very strange notion that we're an advanced society, that humans in general have achieved a generally superior form of culture, when the truth is probably closer to the opposite. We still haven't figured out the most fundamental stuff. Look at LGBT rights, hell look at rights of African Americans just fifty years ago. We suck! We're self important monkeys, with much work ahead of us if we ever want to live up to our ideals. Life is still exceptionally hard. People are still treated cruelly all around the world, ignorance and malice are widespread, and extreme sacrifices are still made just to keep the world turning. What I'm trying to say is we're much slower to adapt than we like to think, and a lot of the harsh realities of the world we want to believe we've conquered still very much influence us every day.
Consider my example of the "lost generation" above as evidence that these things still affect us to a great extent, and that there may also be some benefits to being a women.
But I am derailing this thread, and for that I apologize. We can continue this in a new thread if there is enough interest.
I'll say this: Going to war is not the opposite of being passive. Being able to make your own decisions and not be the property of others (as women have been for most of history) is. If you think that not being drafted into wars is more beneficial to women than having those rights in times outside of war, then I don't know what to tell you.
I am trying to figure out how you got from a woman saying she did not want to date someone to saying that the historical hostility and oppression of women is somehow a win for women since they weren't allowed to fight in a war whether they wanted to or not. It's like saying slaves should have been thankful to their owners since they didn't have to pay taxes. It's irrelevant to both the larger context of the issue and the thread itself.
What are you talking about? What do the world wars have to do with asking girls out on dates?
Girls have evolved to be less passive and that can be a good thing for them (?). It also means they are less likely to ask me out because evolution has given them lower self esteem.
Even though this is a joke, I'm still disgusted by the thought that people believe this.
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