T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
I don't like shallow people, but i'd date a shallow person. I like to think I could look past their shallowness, especially if they're really hot.
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Tinder is destroying mens self-esteem (New York Post)
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I don't like shallow people, but i'd date a shallow person. I like to think I could look past their shallowness, especially if they're really hot.
Well, I'm doomed.
Never had any problems with my height, I'm 5'9 (always thought I was 5'8 but I only work in cm's and this stuff was new for me). Most of the girls I've been with were taller than me but that's what you get for living in The Netherlands.
It's all about how you present yourself to others. Online dating is full of people wanting the "perfect" match when it comes to appearence and I can't really blame them, everyone has their preferences.
And lol at taller people being able to "protect their girl" better, where the hell do they need to be protected from? And taller people are always automatically stronger right? This way of thinking will always boggle my mind.
It's all about how you present yourself to others. Online dating is full of people wanting the "perfect" match when it comes to appearence and I can't really blame them, everyone has their preferences.
And lol at taller people being able to "protect their girl" better, where the hell do they need to be protected from? And taller people are always automatically stronger right? This way of thinking will always boggle my mind.
Sectorseven
Member
If the gender split irl is pretty much 1:1, why are there so many more men than women on these dating sites?
FortuneFaded
Member
I would love to see his profile. I'm 5'6 living in NYC and I get dates all the time from online dating. One of my longest relationships was with a girl who was 5'9. I can't imagine a 5'9 guy living a "woe is me" scenario.
My younger brother who is 5'2, now that guy legit has it hard.
Edit: And my older brother is 5'4 and married with kids to a woman who is 5'11.
My younger brother who is 5'2, now that guy legit has it hard.
Edit: And my older brother is 5'4 and married with kids to a woman who is 5'11.
ElfArmy177
Member
Eh, I'm 5 7' and my fiance is 5 10'. She doesn't care. But yea if she left me I'd probably be scared of my height lol
-COOLIO-
The Everyman
as well as sex bots of variable height. as trump would say, he's going to love it.
Introvert has nothing to do with being social.
Women don't need dating sites. Our culture expects men to initiate a relationship.
spiderman123
Member
My tinder is pumping.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Hopefully you're joking, because what makes you think she wouldn't just reject you for some shallow reason?
I generally found taller people to be easier to knock over personally (For clarification: I spar in martial arts), and no inherent genetic muscular/strong advantage without working out than a person of average height, so I don't know where that comes from.
People always cite it based on evolution, but I feel like taller people (6'2" or more) would actually be bigger targets in battle so wouldn't like 5'8"-6'1" be better for survival? Whatever.
Point is, you have to work with what you have. Personality, humor, confidence, and just putting yourself out there again and again until you find something is better than worrying that no one will ever find something to love about you.
Guys, you can't let shallow dating services like Tinder hit your self-esteem. If you're looking just for sex, then sure go for it.
But if you're looking for meaningful relationships there's really only one thing to do: get out there and talk to women.
Women are intelligent and complex and are capable of developing an attraction to men based on multiple factors. Sure some women may dismiss you based on one factor, but that happens and you move on.
I'm a petite guy, I'm 5"5. There have been women who have rejected me because of my height, and that's alright.
But I am a chick magnet. I take care of myself in terms of nutrition and regularly going to the gym. I'm into fashion so I dress well. I try to learn and read as much about world events and news so as to be interesting and up to date in conversations. And being a medical doctor and upholding yourself in a confident professional manner helps.
I had no success online dating, but in real life I had very little difficulty dating women.
Moral of the story: focus on your strengths and let them give you confidence. Don't be preoccupied on single factors: height, income, looks, whatever. Women who reject you because of those single factors are not the type for you.
Focus on improving the areas you can improve (sociability, fitness, health, intelligence) and the many women who do look at men as a whole will find you more attractive.
But if you're looking for meaningful relationships there's really only one thing to do: get out there and talk to women.
Women are intelligent and complex and are capable of developing an attraction to men based on multiple factors. Sure some women may dismiss you based on one factor, but that happens and you move on.
I'm a petite guy, I'm 5"5. There have been women who have rejected me because of my height, and that's alright.
But I am a chick magnet. I take care of myself in terms of nutrition and regularly going to the gym. I'm into fashion so I dress well. I try to learn and read as much about world events and news so as to be interesting and up to date in conversations. And being a medical doctor and upholding yourself in a confident professional manner helps.
I had no success online dating, but in real life I had very little difficulty dating women.
Moral of the story: focus on your strengths and let them give you confidence. Don't be preoccupied on single factors: height, income, looks, whatever. Women who reject you because of those single factors are not the type for you.
Focus on improving the areas you can improve (sociability, fitness, health, intelligence) and the many women who do look at men as a whole will find you more attractive.
I think I quit Tinder three or four times because of the effect it had on my self esteem. Everybody presents themselves at their absolute best, so you get a completely skewed view of reality, and I really didn't feel like I could live up to that. Everybody on Tinder loves to travel the world, do the most interesting things, is completely outgoing, eats the most delicious food, puts up the best pictures of themselves.
And I'm kind of an introvert, I'm not THAT outgoing, I'm quite shy and I haven't travelled a lot. I certainly feel my own, sometimes mundane and boring life doesn't stack up to Tinder's collective coolness. Of course I've put up my own, best, (pretty highly rated) pictures of me doing cool stuff as well. So I'm part of the problem, I get that.
But even though I've put up the best version of myself, I'd get at most two matches a day, in Amsterdam, the biggest city in the Netherlands. And in three or four months of Tindering I got three dates. Istarted out shy and awkward, and I got 'better' at it eventually, but it became such a chore, and my self esteem really took a hit. Seeing a truly awesome profile that really seemed like my type, sending a super like, not getting a match. Having a fun conversation with someone, and they'd just stop talking. Getting along great online, and having the date be a total bust.
And reading this, I was pretty much playing on easy mode as well. I'm not bad looking, and 6,3'. I wouldn't say my pictures are bad, or that I have a bad profile, but people on Tinder can afford to be so inredibly picky (that goes for me as well) that the rejection rate is so incredibly high. Glad I finally found someone offline.
And I'm kind of an introvert, I'm not THAT outgoing, I'm quite shy and I haven't travelled a lot. I certainly feel my own, sometimes mundane and boring life doesn't stack up to Tinder's collective coolness. Of course I've put up my own, best, (pretty highly rated) pictures of me doing cool stuff as well. So I'm part of the problem, I get that.
But even though I've put up the best version of myself, I'd get at most two matches a day, in Amsterdam, the biggest city in the Netherlands. And in three or four months of Tindering I got three dates. Istarted out shy and awkward, and I got 'better' at it eventually, but it became such a chore, and my self esteem really took a hit. Seeing a truly awesome profile that really seemed like my type, sending a super like, not getting a match. Having a fun conversation with someone, and they'd just stop talking. Getting along great online, and having the date be a total bust.
And reading this, I was pretty much playing on easy mode as well. I'm not bad looking, and 6,3'. I wouldn't say my pictures are bad, or that I have a bad profile, but people on Tinder can afford to be so inredibly picky (that goes for me as well) that the rejection rate is so incredibly high. Glad I finally found someone offline.
RockTurtle
Member
genius!
I guess we would need to see swiping quickness for separate countries. As in shallowness being considered on how quick a person swipes yes or no.
Always-honest
Banned
Eh.. no.. moral values.
There is short and short. Between 5'7'' and 5'10'' height is unlikely to become a true detriment. Sure, you're shorter than the average guy, but you are still so close to the average point that it really makes little difference (in real life interactions at least, online dating is a different beast).. When you go below that is when the real problems begin. Believe me, I'd know. (I'm male and 5'4'').
Some of my lady friends have told me they don't use Tinder because they can easily punch above their weight, then end up disappointed in future because the guys willing to invest in a relationship with them are "below" what they could get on Tinder.
Either that or some heavy cognitive dissonance/post-purchase rationalization trying to feel attracted to their man.
Either that or some heavy cognitive dissonance/post-purchase rationalization trying to feel attracted to their man.
spiderman123
Member
Im 6,4 and let me tell you it is a goddamn pain to be.
Stereogatari
Banned
Of course not, but an introvert finds themselves in social settings less, so internet dating can bridge that gap for them.
Exactly. This comparison is on of the most common fallacies I know of. You fat? Work on it. It's fucking doable. You short? Not a god damn thing you can do but curse your bad luck. Height and weight are not even on the same statosphere since you can work on the other but not on the other. At all.
Maedre
Banned
why?
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Are we talking good or bad moral values? Because I think this misunderstanding is why I'm missing your point.
Sure there are disadvantages, but something tells me you would rather deal with the disadvantages of being 5" over average height than 5" under.
At 5'6'', you're close enough to it, anyway.
Specialmias
Member
Stupid men, if they stopped spending money on video games like man children they could afford height surgery. It's only 10k USD.
http://www.drsarin.in/height-gain.html
A real man that loves me would go through with it instead of embarrassing me in public being 5'8.
Sectorseven
Member
But aren't they going to congregate where all the men are?
Or just do what O.P.'s female friend said and hit the gym to get taller...
Hahahaha.
I'm not sure about that being the reason behind it. But the amount of guys who are willing to sleep with a girl extends far, far longer then the amount of guys willing to date her.
While with guys, the line is still longer with girls who want to sleep with them. But it's more there isn't the same massive disproportion.
lemme guess, youre tall but skinny
spiderman123
Member
1) I loved being tall but as you get older, the back pains and knee pains become worst
2) I live in a country with a majority of the women being short.
3) I always have to bend down to hear ppl and bending down sucks especially with the pain
4) You have to get custom clothing and furniture at times ( Which is way more expensive).
5) Areas of the house to small for you to access
6) Food wise, I eat like a horse ( even though I weigh 196 pounds,) and can rack up a bill.
7) Being in small cars and tight spaces sucks
8) Did I mention the pain.
Psycho_Mantis
Banned
Made it but lets be honest.....bet most of these women are short (below 5'5).
Brian Fellows
Pete Carroll Owns Me
As someone who is also 5'6 I laughed and I cried.
GutsOfThor
Member
I tried tinder for almost a year and only got one date out of it. Must have rated over 1,000 women. Didn't really destroy my self-esteem since I knew I was an ugly fuck going into it though lol.
Glendemonium
Member
Maybe it's a west coast thing, but there are lots of tall women here. Everywhere I go there is a woman who broke six feet easily. A 5'9 guy would have some trouble, even a 6'1 guy might be at a slight disadvantage. Plenty of women here who are 5'10 or higher and very few guys who are above 6'.
BrokenIcarus
Member
Quite simple,
Women aren't considered losers when they don't have sex, in fact it's the exact opposite, they're considered to be "sluts".
I deleted Tinder after a week it made me feel like I wasn't a very interesting person. But also I'm gay and I think a lot of guys care a lot less about height (I'm 5'7).
And I think Grindr lowers gay men's self esteem at a far higher rate than Tinder does primarily because I view gay men as far more shallow than women. I'm probably part of the problem too...
And I think Grindr lowers gay men's self esteem at a far higher rate than Tinder does primarily because I view gay men as far more shallow than women. I'm probably part of the problem too...
Polioliolio
Member
I wish I wasn't short
Can't fight it. I'm shorter than you by an inch or so, but all you can do is say, 'I wouldn't want to date someone who wouldn't like me based on height'
I think my natural preference is for shorter girls, but I've dated women taller than me and wouldn't refuse a date based on height.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Share with us?
Always-honest
Banned
Good manners, even if geographical distance and anonymity protects you, you can still choose to be a good person.
come to the Netherlands. You'll be about avarage. Long females too here.
Maedre
Banned
Where are you from?
I'm 6'1 and dont have any problem.
My dad is 6'4 and he has no problems with clothings or furniture.
My best friend is 6'5 no problems at all.
Germany here.
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