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Tinder is destroying men’s self-esteem (New York Post)

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The Kree

Banned
ZNdi4d0.jpg
 

Kaban

Member
I'm 5'7 and Tinder actually helped boost my confidence. Of course there were still people on there who would only date taller guys, but that just means they're not worth the time.

Plus it found me my current girlfriend and I couldn't be happier :)
 

-COOLIO-

The Everyman
Glad I don't give a fuck about how short men are. Yeah, eliminating people due to their height is so shallow and messed up, personally speaking.

i'd actually like to make a thread on this subject in the near future, but why is being shallow inherently a bad thing?

if a woman get's hundreds of messages a day, is it not prudent to apply a filter of some sort?
 
I wish I wasn't short :( 5'9. I've legit heard girls I know say guys under 6 feet aren't appealing. I nearly yelled at one of them who said guys under 6'2 need to hit the gym and get taller. Like what the fuck.

brah im 5'6, the struggle is real. not to mention that ive had tinder for over a year and ive only had maybe 10 people in total swipe for me. Ive had just as many swipes from advertisements as Ive had for "real" people.
 

Az987

all good things
I get ghosted a lot, that sucks. It sucks even worse when you have like a date to meet set up and get ghosted when you try to confirm it lol. I can usually pick who will disappear pretty easily.

I usually have like 4 dates set up every week because I know a good bit just vanish.

My self esteem is on a continuous roller coaster ride.

It fluctuates between Kanye West levels to NOBODY WANTS ME!!! every other day.
 

Llyranor

Member
i'd actually like to make a thread on this subject in the near future, but why is being shallow inherently a bad thing?

if a woman get's hundreds of messages a day, is it not prudent to apply a filter of some sort?
It's fine to be 'shallow'. We all have filters and dealbreakers of all kinds, some more superficial than others.

It's when people put stuff like "6' or gtfo" or "no fatties please" or "i have black friends, but don't message me if you're black" on their profile that it becomes a problem. Rather than just being a filter, that display of disgust becomes a part of their personality.
 

KonradLaw

Member
They're looking at it wrong. Sure, at Tinder you will get a lot o rejections, but the sheer volumne of people you swipe through means you will get more hits anyway. And that's all that matters. The secret to dating is to not give a damn about rejection. It's a numbers game in the end and let's be honest...getting rejected on Tinder is still a lot less harsh experience than in real-life.

And I never had problems with height in dating (182cm, which is more than enough in Poland), but I have couple friends who did and I always tell them "if a woman says to you she won't date any man under 180cm just answer that it's ok, you won't date any woman over 30/25 (pick one where she will be excluded) :)
 

NetMapel

Guilty White Male Mods Gave Me This Tag
Meh... Guys have their own filter when it comes to women preference too. Everybody got their own "standard" when it comes to attraction.
 

Qurupeke

Member
I mean I can still land a nice shorter girl, but it sort of makes me not want to bother getting kids. If I marry a shorter girl, the dating life of any sons I would get would be miserable, as he would likely be shorter than me and probably face even taller competition. Not sure I want to inflict that on my son tbh

Is this a joke post or something?
 
well yeah tinder especially is the epitome of shallow dating.

I know it's easy to say this, but I wouldn't dismiss Tinder out of hand. I met the girl whom I'm going to marry with that app. You just have to persevere and understand that you're going to have invest in it and there are going to be disappointments as well.

Disclaimer: I am 6"2.
 

FaintDeftone

Junior Member
I'm a guy who's 5'3, 5'4ish and growing up I was super depressed about it. In high school I had a lot of girls I liked turn me down because of my height. It was rough. Once I got out of high school, got into college and my self esteem started to rise, I had no problems getting girls. I'm married now and have an awesome 20 month old son.

Moral of the story: don't mess with girls who are stuck on height. There are plenty of them who could care less out there and if they refuse to date you because you do not fit their height criteria, they're terrible people to begin with and aren't worth the time of day.

So yeah, fuck Tinder.
 
Honestly, I've rejected women for equally if not more shallow reasons than height. And I'm sure guys in this thread bitchimg have turmed down women for purely vane reasons too. If height is the only shit that men get filtered for consider ourselves lucky. Female beauty standards are infinitely worse. It's Tinder, the entire premise is shallow. Let's not act like ot isn't.

And 5'9" is not short. 5'6" is on the shorter side. 5'4" is short. Your height homestly is not the end all be all. I know lots of lonely tall people if it makes yall feel better. I'm 6'5", I havent meta girl who actually weighed height heavily in person.
 

Jeels

Member
I have a friend that is 5'3" and he has no problems finding fuck buddies. The thing is he works out, always has a sharp haircut, and wears clothes that compliment him. So while he may be short and may be not naturally attractive he does what he can to "boost" himself and he has no issues. YMMV of course.

So what kind of clothes compliment a short person?
 
I've had a few girls unmatch me after they ask my height (5'9). But the biggest deterrent must be that I'm not white. Take into consideration that most women are there just for attention so they were not going to date you regardless.
 

BokehKing

Banned
Or maybe he should just stop swiping on women that are way out of his league? I know that's my problem I just shoot for the moon and hope for the best.
 

Mr Git

Member
I'm 5.8 but honestly that's pretty average where I'm from. Tall people stand out. It's why all my tall friends love the Netherlands. If anyone is really conscious about being vertically challenged just move to a land of short arses, or smokers with stunted growth.
 

-COOLIO-

The Everyman
It's fine to be 'shallow'. We all have filters and dealbreakers of all kinds, some more superficial than others.

It's when people put stuff like "6' or gtfo" or "no fatties please" or "i have black friends, but don't message me if you're black" on their profile that it becomes a problem. Rather than just being a filter, that display of disgust becomes a part of their personality.

well yeah, if you phrase it like that then that's just mean, but I wouldn't have a problem with a girl saying "i only date guys over 6ft" on her profile. It saves us both time, and if she can afford to be that picky/patient then power to her.
 

Skatterd

Member
I'm 5"5'. 5"9' is not short.

My height has never been an issue. Never used Tinder though.
And my wife is 5"0' so there you go I guess lol.
 
Or maybe he should just stop swiping on women that are way out of his league? I know that's my problem I just shoot for the moon and hope for the best.

If all you gotta do is swipe why wouldn't you swipe right on the hottest people? You literally have nothing to lose.
 

Tom Nook

Member
I'm 5'8" and I get insecure when it comes to height.

One thing to get confidence is to wears clothes that fits you.

Learn to sew or go to a tailor. Shorten the sleeves and tighten around the chest on the dress shirt and shorten the in-stream of the pants. This will appear you're thinner and have longer arms and legs.
 

shinkai

Member
Ha jokes on them, my self-esteem was destroyed a long time ago.... way before Tinder.

Then again having the app on my phone and not getting any responses other then from bots is like being kicked while I'm already down and dead
 

BokehKing

Banned
I'm 5'9" and I feel short :(

Luckily my fiancé is also short and likes that I'm not taller.
I won't even date a girl that is 5'9
She is going to want to wear heels and then I'm going to feel short.

Ha jokes on them, my self-esteem was destroyed a long time ago.... way before Tinder.

Then again having the app on my phone and not getting any responses other then from bots is like being kicked while I'm already down and dead

Haha very true
 
Except a small fragment of self esteem, possibly.

I suppose. But a hot person looking at your profile and going naw could be for 100s of reasons. It's not reflective on anything honestly. Go take some better pictures, groom and try again but other than that eh, no real harm should be taken

I'm saying he is probably swiping left on girls that are swiping right on him.

Isn't it assumed that if all you shoot for is models you have lower chances? Most of the tinder woes is mostly 1 million guys competing for 1000 girls. I think most of the bitching is because "conventionally hot" women aren't swiping back. I domt think swiping right on "unatttactive" women in their mind is going to boost their confidence.
 

Empty

Member
i relate to this. it's really really handy as i like to keep a small social circle of reliable old friends, feel uncomfortable about trying to date women i work with and my main hobbies are fairly solitary, so it suits my needs well and its been my main source of dates since i started using it. yet i end up deleting it every couple of months as it really wears me down emotionally. i'm on a delete period atm and not thinking about how many women are rejecting me and why i am so not interesting to them and going about my life normally is v refreshing.
 

Spenny

Member
I figured out that height is a big factor when I asked a girl in our group of friends why my best friend never got any play. I always thought it was because he was bald but she said it was because he was 170cm. He's extremely fit and relatively good looking otherwise. I'm mostly glad he never gets play tough because he has a shitty/creepy personality.
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
Tinder was great for me. Lots of good people and fun times. It was very easy to use and get matched with a lot of other folks. I did disclose my height, though (I'm a giant) so that was probably working for me.
 
Jesus all these 5'9/5'8 is short comments. I'm 5'9 maybe 9 1/2" and I've NEVER had a woman comment on my height with the exception of my last GF who was also 5'9 and would get self conscious sometimes about being taller than me in heels. I've also always done well on Tinder and more importantly in life. You have to project that height fellas lol. Seriously though I've seen plenty of guys over the years faaaar shorter than I am clean up. Long as you're either/or reasonably good looking, in good shape, have winning personality, etc you'll do fine. If a girl is super hung up on height its usually because she's tall herself. So pick someone better suited for you. I've personally met very few women 5'5 and under who really cared all that much about height.
 

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
Men's self esteem could probably be raised by just swiping right on other men. *cough*
 

harSon

Banned
My self confidence shot up using Tinder, but then again I'm 6'2" and built. And I don't really have an issue doing things the old fashion way.... But I just swipe right on everything, and then screen my matches thereafter. I probably get 10-20 legitimate matches a day, and strike conversations with about half of those. I pull a good 8-10 phone numbers a week, and probably go out with about half of those. I actually just went to the Pirates/Giants game on both Monday and Tuesday with girls I met on Tinder.

It's been a positive experience for me. I'm not going out of my way to look for a relationship, but would be totally down if someone catches me off guard. But I've hooked up quite a bit, met some chill ass girls that are becoming good friends, gone on multiple dates with the same person, etc. I just really got into it early last month, and I've probably spent a good 80% of my free time going out with girls I've met on Tinder.
 
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