This is one of the few cases I think I'll just continue to stay ignorant of the subject matter, lol.
If we really must call both things "Male wish fulfillment fantasies", I guess I'd see Dandy as sneakily fulfilling the dreams, while pretending we think much less of it than we actually do, in order to save face.
While SAO just flat out says "This is what I think is awesome, and in this order of significance!", and expects you to agree. If you don't agree, "screw you, go watch another show!" I think it lucks out in this viewpoint in a series of grand accidents... but I was looking for a show to support my taste, I'd rather see this, than a show that'll make me feel like I shouldn't really feel this way at all...