It’s time to go to prison in
episode 62 of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Jedi Master Evan Piell has been captured by the Separatists because he possesses a MacGuffin and taken to an impenetrable fortress called the Citadel, made to house rogue Jedi. The Separatists got the place in the divorce, and they’re using it to torture Piell until he coughs up the MacGuffin. After the rescue team, which includes Anakin and Obi-Wan, is done with the mission briefing, Ahsoka shows up to call shotgun. Obi-Wan’s reaction to this can be seen above. Ahsoka kind of has a point when she calls Anakin out for letting her put her life in danger countless other times, but she has an annoying way of going about it.
Meanwhile, R2-D2 now has a posse. He now commands three reprogrammed battle droids, painted blue in places so the audience can identify them but everyone in-universe cannot. Ahsoka’s reaction to being told she can’t come along is, “I’m telling!” and she goes to complain to Plo Koon, who is pretty much in Anakin’s corner. Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex (the bald clone), Fives (the clone with the “5” tattoo), and the others head up to some familiar-looking machines. In order to bypass the Citadel’s life-form scanners, they need to be frozen in carbonite. You remember carbonite, right?
The frozen Jedi and clones are loaded onto a ship piloted by R2 and his droids. They soon arrive in the orbit of the planet housing the Citadel, where we meet our villain: an alien that sounds like Christopher Walken with strep throat and doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s talking directly to the audience. The life-form scan of the ship goes off without a hitch and R2’s ship touches down in a cave outside the Citadel. The Jedi and clones are unloaded and unfrozen, but surprise! Ahsoka is there, too. She unconvincingly says that Plo Koon assigned her to the team and mentions that Anakin always tells her that following orders isn’t the only way to solve a problem.
The entrance that the group plans to use is built into a cliff and surrounded by electrified mines. With wind too strong for jetpacks and no place to shoot a grappling hook, they’re forced to climb up the cliff. As Obi-Wan reaches the balcony, some droids spontaneously pop out for a look because this sort of thing always happens. When they head back inside, they lock the door behind them with ray shields (that red, static-y stuff.) Guess who’s the only one that can fit in the ventilation ducts to get inside and open the door? Just as everyone’s home free because you-know-who was conveniently able to unlock the door, the last clone falls off the cliff and hits a mine, where he’s electrocuted and sets off the alarm before falling into the lake of yellow Metroid acid below.
The group loses another clone to a booby-trapped hallway. Cut to Piell being tortured. Piell is a very short man with floppy elf ears, one eye, and a Russian accent. The group manages to bust him out of his very familiar cell just before a droid gouges out his other eye, and he reveals that he only knows half the MacGuffin. His captain memorized the other half in case either of them cracked under torture. Anakin says they need a new plan, because apparently they were just going to leave everyone else behind originally.
In the hallway, the group encounters an elite unit of droids, who dance onto the scene like guards from Goldeneye. Though they put up more fight than usual, they’re dispatched without a problem until Christopher Walken activates the magnetized ceiling, which hilariously takes not only the lightsabers and guns, but also Anakin due to his mechanical hand. He manages to grab his lightsaber and destroy the magnetization device just in time for everyone else to kill the new group of droids. Then the group enters a familiar-looking hallway housing more cells. They break out some clones as well as Piell’s captain: Tarkin. You may not know him by name, but Tarkin is the guy in charge of the Death Star in episode 4. Otherwise pretty much lacking in any distinguishing attributes, his claim to fame was being played by the late Peter Cushing. Here he is in Clone Wars, not played by Peter Cushing. Everyone decides to split up, Obi-Wan and Piell’s group creating a distraction while Anakin and Ahsoka’s group try to escape. Tarkin argues with this because, since he’s eventually a villain, he has to be a dick. Obi-Wan blows up a significant portion of the Citadel with bombs. Anakin’s group cuts through a wall and enters a cave system, where Tarkin tells him that he hasn’t earned his respect because, again, contractually obligated to be a dick.
As bad as Ahsoka's "me, too!" subplot is, it doesn't make up a terribly significant part of the episode. The rest is fun, if not particularly impressive. A few nice fighting moves here and there, but the Citadel is this weird middle ground of not being unique enough to leave a lasting impact but still different enough to be of note. I wish the show was more creative with its traps and trials (carbonite freezing was a good start that never lead to anything significant), but I'll take what I can get. The appearance of Tarkin is weird; he feels like he's just here for no reason, and his undeserved dickishness is annoying.
B-