Frozenprince
Banned
It's basically that one has a structure and the other is chaotic fucking nonsense as loud as possible for two hours.
Transformers: The Last Knight review thread
- Thread starter Biggest-Geek-Ever
- Start date
I still love those movies but if I had to choose, I'll go with the big robots in a heartbeat.
Jill Sandwich
the turds of Optimus Prime
Feels like I had been watching the same movie since the fifth I think.
Boring to me now.
Also Robots baby!!
I mean, I have nothing more to add other than you (Mr. Devil's Advocate) clearly haven't watched movie 5. Speaking as someone who watched 1 multiple times, 2 twice, 3 once and 4 regrettably once, 5 is the giant shining turd that outclassed all of them in the sheer scale of phoning it in.
I like robots. I love robots. 5 BARELY features robot action, which meant that I endured the director, writer, editors and producers strictly doing this E-for-effort deal in favor of reckless visual and auditory noise knowing that they got your money and Hollywood's money already, so they do not care... for no reason.
Actually no, not caring isn't accurate. This movie was the product of vengeance. It wants to actively hurt and punish you for being dumb enough to pay the admission fee and stay beyond the first thirty minutes after four movies of mediocrity punctuated by stereotypes and toxic masculinity. This movie hates you. Make no mistake.
My critique of the Fast and Furious franchise so far is that the drama scenes and emotional payoffs are largely unearned, but that's mainly because Vin Diesel really cannot sell himself beyond being a too-cool-for-school self insert. Also that the series has gone downhill after Tokyo Drift, but it's essentially never going to reach that same dark abyss that Transformers keeps pioneering in digging in deeper.
Valdfellgar
Banned
I'll take Transformers: The Movie over both of them.
Well, I mean, at that point why would you watch literally anything else? It's not fair to compare any of these films to the GOAT.
sems4arsenal
Member
I can give you likable characters (even though the old hey it's a villian but by the next movie he'll be a good guy is very tired) but a coherent plot and well structued action scenes?
The plots to both franchises are just some dialogue and fabricated stupid events so thin they make the mind boggle that are used to lead to the next set piece. FnF's action scenes involve stuff like a gazillion mile runway, cars blocking fire and other dumb shit that has no right being called well structured.
Frozenprince
Banned
FnF's plot is well structured. Everything feeds onto the next event. Feeds into the next movie. It doesn't have to be smart but it does make sense within it's own rules.
Transformers has no plot, they make up a new one every new movie. There are no rules or guidelines or consistency. The first movie has been ENTIRELY retconned at this point.
Transformers has no plot, they make up a new one every new movie. There are no rules or guidelines or consistency. The first movie has been ENTIRELY retconned at this point.
Messofanego
Banned
You're not equipped to tell apart a good from a bad action movie if you equate Fast and Furious to Transformers. You've not thought about these movies past the superficial level of fast cars and talking robots.
FAMILY
FAMILY
Pop-O-Matic
Banned
Before this movie, I'd consider both Transformers and F&F equally dire shit, but I think Bay might have reached a new low with TLK.
Nah, Transformers: The Movie is pretty shit. It being the least bad Transformers movie is literally the best thing you can say about it.
Well, I mean, at that point why would you watch literally anything else? It's not fair to compare any of these films to the GOAT.
Nah, Transformers: The Movie is pretty shit. It being the least bad Transformers movie is literally the best thing you can say about it.
Can I get an amen?!
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
You guys are fighting over the quality of Fast & Furious vs. Transformers......?
Lol.
Lol.
It is pretty crazy. Who would have thought that they would be putting out continuous good Fast & Furious but we're still without a single good live action Transformers movie?
Well structured =/= realistic
To be fair, Fate of the Furious (IMO, the worst movie in the franchise) approached Transformers 1 level of quality. It just wasn't a good movie. BUT, Transformers 1 was the peak of the franchise so Fast and Furious is still trending well above Transformers in terms of quality.
BackLogJoe
Member
I just got back from watching this. For a bit I was like, wtf, this movie is going everywhere.
Then I realized, this over the top ridiculousness is the kind of shit Id make up when I was a kid playing with my Transformers.
Then I fucking just sat back and loved it.
Then I realized, this over the top ridiculousness is the kind of shit Id make up when I was a kid playing with my Transformers.
Then I fucking just sat back and loved it.
Valdfellgar
Banned
Oh no fun allowed, I get it! I get it!
Incoherent? Do they just not know what that word means, or are they really that bad at watching movies? A six year old can follow the plot, and that's the point.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
Michael Bay may be one of the greatest director geniuses of all time, and I say this with no sarcasm either. It takes a really unique talent and genius to create movies that are so universally critically panned over and over and over and over and over again and yet still make an obscene amount of cash every single time.
No wonder even Spielberg teamed up with him to make Transformers.
No wonder even Spielberg teamed up with him to make Transformers.
So like the Adam Sandler of directors?
Messofanego
Banned
Tell me what happens in the Transformers movie without looking it up. Cause I can't recollect anything other than some mysterious artefact that both robot teams are wanting.
Lindsay Ellis made a great case for why it's so hard to remember what happens in Transformers.
Random Human
They were trying to grab your prize. They work for the mercenary. The masked man.
All it takes is a bad director with a lot of marketing behind him. *shrug*
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
Adam Sandler is level 1 compared to Bay's level 99.
You make it sound so easy; and yet this guy managed to pull off his stuff over and over and over and over again, each resulted with massive success.
SenjutsuSage
Banned
You guys are fucking insane. The Fast and Furious movies, objectively, are much better movies than the transformers movies. A whole lot more entertaining also.
Nope. Why the fuck would I take Michael Bay's grotesque sensibilities over people who atleast know what the fuck they're making? And can do actually do it with competence.
falconxcrunner09
Member
That pic of the review in the OP made me almost choke on my toast ROFLMAO. Is there a link to it?
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
Messofanego
Banned
Korey tore it up XD
NealMcCauley
Member
And it was amazing. The Photoshop jobs were icing on the cake.
Random Human
They were trying to grab your prize. They work for the mercenary. The masked man.
A while back I remember they said Transformers was going to get a MCU type universe (of course) and they would have a kind of TV-style "writers room" to guide everything... Does anyone know if this movie was a product of that?
jellies_two
Member
Jeremy jahns rated it dogshit and it will definitely be in his worst movies of 17 list.
He rated the mummy higher, "better time if you are drunk".
He rated the mummy higher, "better time if you are drunk".
Random Human
They were trying to grab your prize. They work for the mercenary. The masked man.
Jesus.
Except in the last 15 years, other than Transformers, he hasn't. The Island, Pain and Gain and 13 hours were all box office duds.
David H Wong
Banned
What? No. These movies are the opposite of that. A convoluted plot doesn't mean it's smart, it means they started with a bunch of action set pieces in storyboard form and then gave a room full of screenwriters a week to cobble together a story that sort of glues them together. The results is a bizarrely tangled plot that changes the mythology every few minutes to accommodate whatever explosion is supposed to happen next.
Frozenprince
Banned
I'll say it till I'm blue in the face, but the first movie may well have never existed at this point, it's completely written off. Hell almost all of them but the one immediately preceeding each entry is subsequently written off.
How many fucking times has Megatron died so far?
Sunster
Member
Yea I think everything before the battle of Chicago never happened. I mean.... they literally destroyed the Khafre Pyramid at Giza AGAIN. The one that they destroyed in the 2nd movie! lmaoooo.
idk man, I love these movies. not worried about the logic, like the 14 year old expert on alien technology. I'm just along for the ride.
Pop-O-Matic
Banned
Fun is allowed.
Bayformers isn't fun.
Fast & Furious isn't fun.
Transformers '86 is only fun if you like cheesy Star Wars knock-offs.
T1 is on par with the middle of the FnF franchise. It's pretty coherent, well structured, and the characters work.
Everything else is a mess, though I will give T3 props for being the best action of the franchise.
FnF on the other hand, is a surprising well structured franchise. It really helped it had the same writer leading the story since 3, same director to bring it to where it is now, same cast and produced for nearly the entire franchise. Even the disappointing entries like 2, 4, and 8. I didn't hate.
Transformers on the other hand, lost all structure after the first one. Each movie rectons the previous and largely there is no reason for any of this.
T1: - They arrive because Mega crashed years ago with a Cube.
T2 - They were here for thousands of years already protecting a weapon!
T3 - They were here already we knew on the Moon!
T4 - They were here already for millions of years!
T5 - They were here because of plot point and keep coming! Because of 1600 years ago... which contradicts movie 2 and 4... which already contradicted each fucking one prior.
CosmicGroinPull
Member
That's the reason I gave up on these movies after the 2nd and 3rd movies had third acts that were exactly that. It really feels like an unrelenting assault, so I totally understand that 'make it stop make it stop' review, lol.
Thatonemoor
Member
Just got back. I'm never seeing a Transformers movie again unless their is a hard reboot. This movie was just bad and I fucking hate it for that. I don't know if I have it in me to watch one more of these train wrecks so I'm not. I'm done. I will not waste another 3 hours of my life on Micheal Bay's bullshit of a franchise that's wearing the corpse of the Transformers I loved as a kid. I would actually review the movie but it's honestly the same fucking movie I've seen 4 times now and I'm sick oD this bullshit. At one point I just stopped paying attention and started watching the audience. This movie was just pure white noise at that point and that's honestly the best way to enjoy it.
To get into things wrong with the actual movie. The dialog reads like a high schooler wrote it and I'm starting to think one did. The humor is all miss, no hit. Some people in my audience laughed a couple times but I was stone faced the whole way through. I don't know who thought it was funny to have a minute long conversation about why Mark Walberg's character hasn't had sex in a long in the movie but it's not funny. It's just sad. The editing is all bad. The jumps are all over the fucking place and I don't have a clear idea what is going on at one point. The climax was just a bunch of shut falling and at that point I was completely tuned out. This movie doesn't have characters. It has people and CG spouting lines without coherent thoughts behind them. Anthony Hopkins is just there to read lines and act silly. You can tell her doesn't actually care for this movie and he really shouldn't. Just no one fucking cares about their role, not even Mark Walberg it seems.
I'm done with these movies. I'm just out, if you like them more power to you but this is just bad imo. We should all demand better from a franchise I'm confident most of us grew up with.
To get into things wrong with the actual movie. The dialog reads like a high schooler wrote it and I'm starting to think one did. The humor is all miss, no hit. Some people in my audience laughed a couple times but I was stone faced the whole way through. I don't know who thought it was funny to have a minute long conversation about why Mark Walberg's character hasn't had sex in a long in the movie but it's not funny. It's just sad. The editing is all bad. The jumps are all over the fucking place and I don't have a clear idea what is going on at one point. The climax was just a bunch of shut falling and at that point I was completely tuned out. This movie doesn't have characters. It has people and CG spouting lines without coherent thoughts behind them. Anthony Hopkins is just there to read lines and act silly. You can tell her doesn't actually care for this movie and he really shouldn't. Just no one fucking cares about their role, not even Mark Walberg it seems.
I'm done with these movies. I'm just out, if you like them more power to you but this is just bad imo. We should all demand better from a franchise I'm confident most of us grew up with.
This is my "favorite" part of the nonsensical DEEP LORE in Bayformers. It's flat out nonsense. Every movie they seem to start development with someone flipping through a history book and stopping at a random page, and deciding that this time THAT piece of history has to involve Transformers, with no regard to what happened in previous films. Then they just build more bullshit around the plot point they randomly decided on.
HOOVER DAM!
PYRAMIDS!
MOON LANDING!
DINOSAURS!
KIIIIIIIIIIING AAAAAAAAAAAAAARTHUR!
?????? YAY FOR BAY! ????????
(Time to light another candle for my altar)
GravityInsanity
Member
This man must be stopped.
ShinoguTakeruKoeru
Member
What's the most logical scenario for movie 6?
...
Prehistoric. The entire film is prehistoric.
BEAST WARS!!!
WITH 3D ACTION!!!!!!!!!
Please.