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[lexi]

Congrats tehAinsley on the username change!

 

[mollipen]

Oh shoot.. now i feel embarrassed. Shes not a relative but she is a sister. Umm, we are both collared to the same Mistress so we are sisters in that regard.

Funny enough, you're not the only transgal that I know that is in a situation like that.

...unless those pics that I saw on a particular site were you. *laughs*

 

[Risette]

Speaking of username changes... Who should I PM for a name change?

Spoiler

I still have to think of a new name though :lol

 

[mollipen]

The whole username thing is tough for me. On one hand, I'm kind of sick of feeling like I can't just be honest about everything and not worry about what other people might think, but on the other, I've go so much history with this name and so many people in various circles know me that I keep wondering if a little more anonymity wouldn't be a good thing.

 

[lexi]

The whole username thing is tough for me. On one hand, I'm kind of sick of feeling like I can't just be honest about everything and not worry about what other people might think, but on the other, I've go so much history with this name and so many people in various circles know me that I keep wondering if a little more anonymity wouldn't be a good thing.

This was a big issue for me for a long time, For me, there was one pivotal person who I was so anxious about knowing, (It was my dad) But when that situation sorted itself out, I realized I no longer worried what anyone thought. It is hard though, I dealt with it for many months after coming out.

Speaking of username changes... Who should I PM for a name change?

I'm not sure if she likes doing it since she seems to have become the defacto admin to ask (any admin can change it), but Dragona is able to.

 

[agrajag]

Yup.

Although I have my doubts when someone is trying to compare a hand to a cock. I mean, there is a pretty big fucking difference. It sounds like Fox is saying two men holding hands could be considered a gay act while playing with a woman's dick isn't. As a straight male, I'd much rather do the former than the latter. But maybe I'm the exception here.

Sign me up for the rather hold hands with a guy than play with a woman's dick club plz.

 

[NewGamePlus]

Sign me up for the rather hold hands with a guy than play with a woman's dick club plz.

agrajag
Unofficial Forum Fellator
(Today, 02:46 PM)
Reply | Quote

You sure?

 

[mollipen]

agrajag
Unofficial Forum Fellator
(Today, 02:46 PM)
Reply | Quote

You sure?

I had to stop myself from doing the same thing. *laughs*

 

[Cetra]

Congrats tehAinsley on the username change!

Thanks! Don't feel so awkward now. XD

 

[Alfarif]

agrajag
Unofficial Forum Fellator
(Today, 02:46 PM)
Reply | Quote

You sure?

Yeah... was going to do this, myself.

 

[agrajag]

Yeah, I'm sure.

 

[whitehawk]

Is there anyway to watch this if you're outside the US? Is there anything worse then regional filters?

Try hotspot shield: http://hotspotshield.com/

I use it to watch Hulu and southparkstudios.com. I'm in Canada and it works perfectly.

 

[lexi]

Try hotspot shield: http://hotspotshield.com/

I use it to watch Hulu and southparkstudios.com. I'm in Canada and it works perfectly.

Thanks for the suggestion, I have tried this, and when activating it, nothing works, it won't go to any site, or any outbound connection will work.

Thanks anyway

 

[Alfarif]

Thanks for the suggestion, I have tried this, and when activating it, nothing works, it won't go to any site, or any outbound connection will work.

Thanks anyway

We'll figure it out, Lexi. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH THIS, OR SO HELP US GOD! :lol :lol :lol

 

[NewGamePlus]

Even if you aren't able to watch it you should read the producers' notes.

http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/2009/09/19/producers-notes-from-true-life-im-changing-my-sex/

In fact everyone should. It sounds like the producers gained a lot from the show as well.

 

[Cetra]

What surprised us the most as we began filming was how determined both characters were to make these changes.

I've found that to be true across the board. Once someone gets over the initial shock of the information they tend to have that exact sentiment.

For example, my Mom brokedown pretty hard when I told her, but over the weeks and months that followed after talking about it with me she often commented on how sure and determined I was to take that road in my life.

The same is pretty much true of most of my friends as well. Though a few of them haven't spoken to me since they were told. But whatever, who needs friends like that anyways, right?

 

[Alfarif]

I've found that to be true across the board. Once someone gets over the initial shock of the information they tend to have that exact sentiment.

For example, my Mom brokedown pretty hard when I told her, but over the weeks and months that followed after talking about it with me she often commented on how sure and determined I was to take that road in my life.

The same is pretty much true of most of my friends as well. Though a few of them haven't spoken to me since they were told. But whatever, who needs friends like that anyways, right?

One of the best things in that show was Elle's mom saying that at first she was sad because she was losing her son, but then she didn't care because she loved this person, regardless of what they looked like. I think shock comes from realizing you're going to have to use a whole new vocabulary with this person. :lol

Even if you aren't able to watch it you should read the producers' notes.

http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/2009/09/19/producers-notes-from-true-life-im-changing-my-sex/

In fact everyone should. It sounds like the producers gained a lot from the show as well.

I'm beginning to think Lexi has her work cut out for her in terms of editing the OP. :lol

 

[Cetra]

Elle's Mom was so awesome. No doubt about that.

You may be right about that too. You can kinda see the brains imploding when they receive that kick in noodle. :lol

EDIT: Just got finished jumping through all the hoops to get new ID Cards for my Med Insurance, think Imma go ahead and set up a therapy appointment tomorrow.

 

[Risette]

Username changed

Spoiler

Name of the character in my avatar

 

[Cetra]

Awesome, congratulations!

 

[NewGamePlus]

Username changed

Awesome!

Just got finished jumping through all the hoops to get new ID Cards for my Med Insurance, think Imma go ahead and set up a therapy appointment tomorrow.

Yay, congratulations!

I'm beginning to think Lexi has her work cut out for her in terms of editing the OP.

I'm saddened that there haven't been any FtM's. Although I suppose we've managed to make a pretty girly thread, they might not want to stick around. :lol

 

[Alfarif]

I'm saddened that there haven't been any FtM's. Although I suppose we've managed to make a pretty girly thread, they might not want to stick around. :lol

While that might be true, I wonder what the ratio is between FtMs and MtFs? I don't remember if this was answered earlier, even though I've read everything in the thread. I'd go look it up, but I'm at work... and you know how companies can be.

 

[NewGamePlus]

While that might be true, I wonder what the ratio is between FtMs and MtFs? I don't remember if this was answered earlier, even though I've read everything in the thread. I'd go look it up, but I'm at work... and you know how companies can be.

Supposedly there are about three times as many MtF's than FtM's.

 

[mantidor]

So, questions! this is a sensitive topic that I try to avoid, specially because of the confusion it generates, and it's kind of personal, it might be offensive to some though... I don't know...

Well as a gay man and I'm sure you people do it as well, I'm the first to jump when people mix up homosexuality and transsexualism, they are completely different things, one thing is to whom do you want to have sex (and more important, for me anyway, is with whom you fall in love), and the other is who do you want to be, and I explain it as such. Its funny I've already been asked twice by the people who now I'm gay that if I want to dress like a woman.

But, is it really that unrelated? I've never heard of the GLBT movement without the T part, but they are supposed to not be related at all, we have the effeminate stereotype, and the butch lesbians, and I read somewhere that the biggest occurrence of gender disconformism (is that word?) comes from homosexual people. How much can we really separate them? I have to admit at some point when I was a kid I did enjoy wearing women clothes, and putting make up, but it felt like a game more than anything, and up to this day there are certain masculine threads that I reject, however I can't picture myself as a woman at all.

So... what are your thoughts on this? what have you heard or read about it?

 

[Cetra]

Yay, congratulations!

Thanks! <3

Supposedly there are about three times as many MtF's than FtM's.

Thats what I'm finding so far as well.

 

[Cetra]

So, questions! this is a sensitive topic that I try to avoid, specially because of the confusion it generates, and it's kind of personal, it might be offensive to some though... I don't know...

Well as a gay man and I'm sure you people do it as well, I'm the first to jump when people mix up homosexuality and transsexualism, they are completely different things, one thing is to whom do you want to have sex (and more important, for me anyway, is with whom you fall in love), and the other is who do you want to be, and I explain it as such. Its funny I've already been asked twice by the people who now I'm gay that if I want to dress like a woman.

But, is it really that unrelated? I've never heard of the GLBT movement without the T part, but they are supposed to not be related at all, we have the effeminate stereotype, and the butch lesbians, and I read somewhere that the biggest occurrence of gender disconformism (is that word?) comes from homosexual people. How much can we really separate them? I have to admit at some point when I was a kid I did enjoy wearing women clothes, and putting make up, but it felt like a game more than anything, and up to this day there are certain masculine threads that I reject, however I can't picture myself as a woman at all.

So... what are your thoughts on this? what have you heard or read about it?

I've never really thought that about myself, but now that you've asked I'm finding myself wondering why the T was slapped on there. I mean, to me anyway, transgenderism is not defined by sexuality in the least. Where homosexuality and Bisexuality are. So as far as looking at those labels for what they are, they aren't related in least.

Though, back in the dark ages transgender people were seen as some sort of sexual deviant with mental health issues out the waazoo much like homosexuals at the time. So maybe that common tie is what bound the T to the end of that acronym?

As you said you've cross-dressed at one point or another but you can't see yourself as woman at all. And that makes all the difference.

I could be smoking the crack though.

 

[NewGamePlus]

So, questions! this is a sensitive topic that I try to avoid, specially because of the confusion it generates, and it's kind of personal, it might be offensive to some though... I don't know...

Well as a gay man and I'm sure you people do it as well, I'm the first to jump when people mix up homosexuality and transsexualism, they are completely different things, one thing is to whom do you want to have sex (and more important, for me anyway, is with whom you fall in love), and the other is who do you want to be, and I explain it as such. Its funny I've already been asked twice by the people who now I'm gay that if I want to dress like a woman.

But, is it really that unrelated? I've never heard of the GLBT movement without the T part, but they are supposed to not be related at all, we have the effeminate stereotype, and the butch lesbians, and I read somewhere that the biggest occurrence of gender disconformism (is that word?) comes from homosexual people. How much can we really separate them? I have to admit at some point when I was a kid I did enjoy wearing women clothes, and putting make up, but it felt like a game more than anything, and up to this day there are certain masculine threads that I reject, however I can't picture myself as a woman at all.

So... what are your thoughts on this? what have you heard or read about it?

I think you know the differences and similarities as well as anyone informed. I saw an article once on why it was important to include transgender in LGBT once. I think maybe it was by PFLAG; I'll try and find it. What it basically comes down to though, is we are working towards the same goals of equality and generally facing opposition by the same people. It just makes sense for us to band together, even if sexual orientation and gender identity aren't really related.

 

[lexi]

I'm saddened that there haven't been any FtM's. Although I suppose we've managed to make a pretty girly thread, they might not want to stick around. :lol

The word 'trans' in the logo is blue!

...And that's about all we've done.

 

[NewGamePlus]

The word 'trans' in the logo is blue!

...And that's about all we've done.

Yep, a nice pretty blue color there and 12 pages of talking about feelings and chocolate. It's a wonder they're not swarming in here. :lol

 

[lexi]

Yep, a nice pretty blue color there and 12 pages of talking about feelings and chocolate. It's a wonder they're not swarming in here. :lol

*nibbles on cadbury creme egg*

 

[Cetra]

*nibbles on cadbury creme egg*

Again with the Cadburry Egg! Argh, if I wasn't so cozy I'd run to the store now.

 

[Alfarif]

There's so much estrogene in here... we need a couple shots of that stuff Ted was using in the MTV Real Life episode. :lol :lol

 

[lexi]

There's so much estrogene in here... we need a couple shots of that stuff Ted was using in the MTV Real Life episode. :lol :lol

Testosterone? Uh, Yeah, we'll leave those for the yet to exist FTM's here.

 

[Cetra]

There's so much estrogene in here... we need a couple shots of that stuff Ted was using in the MTV Real Life episode. :lol :lol

Just don't point any over this direction and we're cool! :lol

 

[NewGamePlus]

That reminds me, my doctor didn't call me back today. T.T
Maybe tomorrow...

 

[Dragona Akehi]

I'm not sure if she likes doing it since she seems to have become the defacto admin to ask (any admin can change it), but Dragona is able to.

Just to let people know in this thread: I don't mind at all. Feel free to PM me anytime.

 

[Alfarif]

You're thinking of Gwen Araujo, who was murdered by her boyfriend when he found out she was transgendered.

All right, I just got around to watching this movie... oh god, was this rough. This was 100x worse to watch than Boys Don't Cry.

 

[Cetra]

I've never seen the movie myself. Seems DVD of it hard to find. Can't even queue it on Netflix.

I do remember seeing the story break on the news back when it happened. Broke my heart. Sadly she's just one in a long list of hate crime victims in the TG community. Hell, here in Memphis we had 3-4 murders exactly like that one in the last half of the year.

One had been viscously beaten by police at the station downtown and it was caught on tape. She ended up being murdered 2-3 weeks later after the officer who did the beating was being brought up on charges if my memory serves.

 

[Alfarif]

I think you might be able to get it on iTunes. It is worth every penny.

I don't even understand HOW people can be so hateful. I guess I should, since I've had some extremely hateful things said to me over the course of my life, but it boggles my mind how anyone can hate someone because... of this. Or being gay. We are so attached to what is or isn't between our legs and how we use it, we kill for it. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Land? I can understand. Resources? Ok, that makes sense. Gender identity and sexual relations? Unless someone is trying to rape someone else, why does it matter?

I don't even really have words to articulate how that movie made me feel. I've seen so many others like it, and, yet, it sticks with me the most out of all of them. Anger would be the only word that adequately expresses my emotions. Anger that people can't step outside of themselves long enough to just... see. I mean really see. But how do you force someone to accept something when they don't want to understand?

That's all I have to say. The fact that none of those pieces of dog shit got convicted of hate crimes enrages me to no end.

 

[lexi]

I think you might be able to get it on iTunes. It is worth every penny.

I don't even understand HOW people can be so hateful. I guess I should, since I've had some extremely hateful things said to me over the course of my life, but it boggles my mind how anyone can hate someone because... of this. Or being gay. We are so attached to what is or isn't between our legs and how we use it, we kill for it. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Land? I can understand. Resources? Ok, that makes sense. Gender identity and sexual relations? Unless someone is trying to rape someone else, why does it matter?

I don't even really have words to articulate how that movie made me feel. I've seen so many others like it, and, yet, it sticks with me the most out of all of them. Anger would be the only word that adequately expresses my emotions. Anger that people can't step outside of themselves long enough to just... see. I mean really see. But how do you force someone to accept something when they don't want to understand?

That's all I have to say. The fact that none of those pieces of dog shit got convicted of hate crimes enrages me to no end.

I may regret watching this movie. There was a Law and Order episode a while ago about a transgendered girl who accidentally killed her boyfriend in self defense, and was convicted for murder and sent to a mens' prison. The closing shot was of her bruised and bloody on a gurney, and I could barely handle that.

 

[Alfarif]

I may regret watching this movie. There was a Law and Order episode a while ago about a transgendered girl who accidentally killed her boyfriend in self defense, and was convicted for murder and sent to a mens' prison. The closing shot was of her bruised and bloody on a gurney, and I could barely handle that.

It's rough, I'm not going to lie. I know my wife will want to watch it (I streamed it from our computer via my iPhone while I'm work), but I can't wait it with her again. I already got angry once.

 

[mollipen]

Again with the Cadburry Egg! Argh, if I wasn't so cozy I'd run to the store now.

I keep having to stop myself from making a joke connecting lexi's love of creme eggs to my peculiar "snack cream = penis" analogy.

Testosterone? Uh, Yeah, we'll leave those for the yet to exist FTM's here.

Wouldn't it be nice if it was like blood, and you could just donate it to one another through an easy procedure?

 

[Android18a]

Never joke about Cadbury's Creme Eggs >=o They are pure nectar and above reproach.

... not good for my diet, though.

 

[Fox the Sly]

There's so much estrogene in here... we need a couple shots of that stuff Ted was using in the MTV Real Life episode. :lol :lol

I'm still lurking and refreshing the page while I listen to music.

I may regret watching this movie. There was a Law and Order episode a while ago about a transgendered girl who accidentally killed her boyfriend in self defense, and was convicted for murder and sent to a mens' prison. The closing shot was of her bruised and bloody on a gurney, and I could barely handle that.

I think I remember seeing that episode but not the ending. Damn.

 

[Cetra]

Wouldn't it be nice if it was like blood, and you could just donate it to one another through an easy procedure?

That would be the most amazing thing ever. Short of brain swaps of course. xD

 

[NoRéN]

All right, I just got around to watching this movie... oh god, was this rough. This was 100x worse to watch than Boys Don't Cry.

I should have warned you. it's one of those movies that invokes terrible sadness and rage.

 

[Alfarif]

I should have warned you. it's one of those movies that invokes terrible sadness and rage.

It was worth every minute. Thanks for the recommendation.

I'm starting into A Soldier's Girl now. Thus far, I really like it. I'll edit once this is over.

 

[Android18a]

That would be the most amazing thing ever. Short of brain swaps of course. xD

Or sex change booths.

"Please insert £5 and place your left hand on the DNA pad. You may feel a tingling sensation"

 

[mollipen]

That would be the most amazing thing ever. Short of brain swaps of course. xD

So, I just watched the movie Surrogates on Saturday. For anybody who hasn't seen it, it's a movie about a point in the future where people live their lives through "surrogates," or basically robots made to look human. Person stays at home, plugged into a chair, and they're out in the world via their robot, so that their human bodies have no hard come to them.

Not even 15 minutes into the movie, this guy (surrogate) ends up making out with this hot blonde (surrogate), and it is revealed that the hot blonde's human controller was this fat, older man.

...so, tangent real quick: why does it always have to be this way? Why, whenever a man is being shown to be at the controls of some sort of virtual female, it has to be some guy made to come off as creepy and disgusting? Even if you still want the "shock" factor of a guy controlling a female, couldn't you do it with a more average looking guy, and not always play into the same stereotype?

Anyhow, the movie made me think of the whole transgender side of things. What if I could sit in a chair, plug my brain into a computer, and live every day as this virtual female me? On one hand, it seemed like the perfect solution to the problems we trans folk face, as it is a possibility that would be easy to put into place, one that would require no dangerous or expensive surgery, and one that is actually legitimately possible.

But then I got to thinking that it might actually be an utterly terrible solution. Part of the point of the story was the addiction that people grew to have for the surrogates, where they would spend their entire waking life in this other body and miss out on a lot of the experiences that make us human. If I had to, at the end of every day, put that me away and come back to my real body, that could be absolute torture from an emotional and mental standpoint. It would be a daily reminded that the me I want to be is not the me I am, and would seemingly create more hate and disgust in myself for that real me.

It was a very interesting thing for me to consider. I wonder what the rest of you think. Would you be happy being able to solve your gender issues that way, or would it just make things worse for you?

 

[Alfarif]

So, I just watched the movie Surrogates on Saturday. For anybody who hasn't seen it, it's a movie about a point in the future where people live their lives through "surrogates," or basically robots made to look human. Person stays at home, plugged into a chair, and they're out in the world via their robot, so that their human bodies have no hard come to them.

Not even 15 minutes into the movie, this guy (surrogate) ends up making out with this hot blonde (surrogate), and it is revealed that the hot blonde's human controller was this fat, older man.

...so, tangent real quick: why does it always have to be this way? Why, whenever a man is being shown to be at the controls of some sort of virtual female, it has to be some guy made to come off as creepy and disgusting? Even if you still want the "shock" factor of a guy controlling a female, couldn't you do it with a more average looking guy, and not always play into the same stereotype?

Anyhow, the movie made me think of the whole transgender side of things. What if I could sit in a chair, plug my brain into a computer, and live every day as this virtual female me? On one hand, it seemed like the perfect solution to the problems we trans folk face, as it is a possibility that would be easy to put into place, one that would require no dangerous or expensive surgery, and one that is actually legitimately possible.

But then I got to thinking that it might actually be an utterly terrible solution. Part of the point of the story was the addiction that people grew to have for the surrogates, where they would spend their entire waking life in this other body and miss out on a lot of the experiences that make us human. If I had to, at the end of every day, put that me away and come back to my real body, that could be absolute torture from an emotional and mental standpoint. It would be a daily reminded that the me I want to be is not the me I am, and would seemingly create more hate and disgust in myself for that real me.

It was a very interesting thing for me to consider. I wonder what the rest of you think. Would you be happy being able to solve your gender issues that way, or would it just make things worse for you?

Ah, I finally saw this movie a couple weeks ago, myself, and was thinking along the same lines as you. There was even the scientist who was a short, dorky white guy using a handsome, tall black surrogate. Sometimes we all want to be something we can not.

You outlined the problem that the movie outlines: even if this solution were viable, you would still be unhappy. At the end of the day, the man who was using the blonde surrogate (I got the sense that people used different genders frequently, because the land lord in Cameron's apartment wasn't shocked that he was a fat male, but that he was dead) wasn't that blonde surrogate. He was himself. If he truly wanted to be female, in all aspects of his life, surrogate included, he would still need to change his gender. I think the surrogate solution would be cheaper and easier to obtain, without all of the "psychological" tests, medical procedures, or money, but it wouldn't solve the underlying problem: identifying with something that you physically and socially were not born.

If I could, I would love to be able to look like my wife. With a surrogate, I could do that. But, at the end of the day, I still wouldn't be her. And if she wanted to look like me, she wouldn't be me, either. It would cause so many more problems that don't even begin to touch on the gender identity side of things.