Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
Fox the Sly
Member
tehAinsley said:
Been 3 years for me too. They wanted to experience level 99 since none of us ever expected SE to raise the level cap again. :lol
I don't think I'm going to see the light until FFXIV comes out. Wait...! Oh crap. :<
lexi said:
Sweet, hope you get it.
@Lexi: Yays! I'm glad to hear it went well! I'll be sending the positive vibes you way!
@Fox: I resubbed after the level cap raise announcement. Logged in for all of 10 minutes and experienced the hell that is Aht Urghan Lag-gate. Then promptly deactivated my Content IDs and uninstalled the game from my 360. I love my Mithra Paladin/Ninja/Dragoon/Beast Master... but not that much. :lol
I am SUPER stoked fro Final Fantasy XIV though. It's looking really good.
@Fox: I resubbed after the level cap raise announcement. Logged in for all of 10 minutes and experienced the hell that is Aht Urghan Lag-gate. Then promptly deactivated my Content IDs and uninstalled the game from my 360. I love my Mithra Paladin/Ninja/Dragoon/Beast Master... but not that much. :lol
I am SUPER stoked fro Final Fantasy XIV though. It's looking really good.
Jamie xxoo
Member
Whether you get the job or not Lexi you already win just by having gone to the interview as you are with no apologies or explanations. So proud of you!
tehAinsley and Fox the Sly said:
I'm going to back away very, very slowly. Then sprint like hell off of the nearest cliff.
Lexi said:
I'm with Jamie on this one. It's so awesome that you went as yourself and didn't try to cover anything or do any explaining. I'm really, really proud of you!
Android18a
Member
Congrats Lexi! Hope you get it!
JumpJeff84
Member
Love all the pics in this thread...
Brian Griffin
Member
Hi all. Transgenderism is a subject I find extremely interesting and over the past few days Ive read/skimmed my way through the whole thread and it's really a great one. I think it's so cool that we have the medical tech and enough social acceptance that trans people can actually attain the bodies they are supposed to have and live happy lives as their correct gender.
Im not trans and dont know anyone who is, but I 100% accept and support all of you who are. I'm about as liberal as one can be when it comes to social issues so I find the notion that you actually need acceptance unfortunate. To me, not accepting you isn't even an option, you're all human just like everyone else and that fact alone validates any choice you make regarding what you do with your body and how you live your life. I'm probably preaching to the choir here but I have very strong feelings on the subject and I can't pass up the opportunity to express them to all of you who are brave enough to be who you really are inside despite what society, and in the worst cases family, thinks.
I have a question about how the transgender community feels about transgender pornstars. Many of you have said that the words used to describe them in their industry are highly offensive, even likening them to the N word, but they don't seem to mind and some even go so far as to plaster "shemale" all over their personal sites. They've gone through transition as well so I would think they would be sensitive to the idea that they could be hurting the transgender community at large by perpetuating the fetish. Does the community frown on what they do and see it as a blocker to overall acceptance of transgender people?
Im not trans and dont know anyone who is, but I 100% accept and support all of you who are. I'm about as liberal as one can be when it comes to social issues so I find the notion that you actually need acceptance unfortunate. To me, not accepting you isn't even an option, you're all human just like everyone else and that fact alone validates any choice you make regarding what you do with your body and how you live your life. I'm probably preaching to the choir here but I have very strong feelings on the subject and I can't pass up the opportunity to express them to all of you who are brave enough to be who you really are inside despite what society, and in the worst cases family, thinks.
I have a question about how the transgender community feels about transgender pornstars. Many of you have said that the words used to describe them in their industry are highly offensive, even likening them to the N word, but they don't seem to mind and some even go so far as to plaster "shemale" all over their personal sites. They've gone through transition as well so I would think they would be sensitive to the idea that they could be hurting the transgender community at large by perpetuating the fetish. Does the community frown on what they do and see it as a blocker to overall acceptance of transgender people?
Jamie xxoo
Member
A section of the community does - the ones not involved in the sex industry basically.
I don't understand how anyone, trans or not, can separate love and sex to the extent that they can do it on camera for other people's entertainment. And I don't understand why someone would enjoy being pre-op trans - or why they would like to be valued for the contrast between how they look and what they have in their pants, and adopt a label that identifies them as a sex-object. But, some people do.
I fully respect that people have different relationships with sex and with their body to me and that what's right for me may not be right for them. I just hate that THIS type of transgender person is so well-known and jumps immediately to mind when I tell someone I'm trans. The only way to fix that is for people like me and Lexi - regular people struggling to overcome a condition - to become more visible in the media, but personally I couldn't stand the attention and the scrutiny. I did have a YouTube channel where I posted updates about my transition and discussed topics of interest to trans people to help support others like me and to show non-trans people that we're regular people, but recently I started hating my own image so much I had to pull the channel - I couldn't stand seeing my face on there and I didn't want anyone else to see it either. Sometimes I get so dysphoric about the parts of me that look male or remind me of how I used to look that I just crumble and lose all self confidence.
I'm actually gearing up right now to take my niece down to my brother's shop to get some fish and chips for lunch and the anxiety level of going out in a small town to a place where lots of local teens hang out is making me feel sick. I've never once been recognized as trans in public by anyone since I started living as a woman but the fear is constantly there. Can you imagine someone like that going on the news and campaigning for trans-rights?
All respect to those in the trans community who do activist work, I don't know how they find the strength. There was actually a story in the news last night about a trans-man in New South Wales (a state of Australia where I'm from) who was campaigning to have the government allow him to change his birth certificate gender without having genital surgery (because he medically wouldn't survive the operation and has been living as a man for years). I nearly cried when I saw him - you would never in a million years guess he was trans from his appearance, he could easily just disappear into the crowd, and yet here he was standing up in public and fighting for his rights because he wont be able to get legally married if he meets a woman as long as his birth certificate lists him as female. I really admire him for putting himself out there.
Sorry I'm rambling.
But... you do blend in to the crowd! Guys have hit on you IRL, nobody's read you in public, GAF practically faps to you... But the kind of dysphoria I know you have is utterly crippling and I too deal with it every waking moment of my day.
Personally I think the evidence speaks for itself, for both of us.
Personally I think the evidence speaks for itself, for both of us.
PhoenixDark
Banned
I'd take you both out for fish and chips
Jamie xxoo
Member
lexi said:
I know, but I'm not at the stage yet where I take it for granted.
Plus you should know Lexi about me and assurances and compliments and good experiences - I'm immune to them. For some reason they just don't make a dent with me, no matter who they come from or how many there are or what the situation is. To me I'm still fugmo based on what I see in my own image even if a bank teller is flat out refusing to believe my ID or if a guy is hitting on me as I walk down the street. I see my own face and I just want to hide. I had zero problems at the cafe today and there were about 30 teens and country people there (we went right in the middle of lunch) - but I'll be just as nervous next time. It's actually harder in the country - I wasn't this bad in the city where people have seen it all before and even if I'm recognized as trans it's not really a big deal.
In 43 days (!!) I'll be getting cut up and rearranged and put back together to get rid of these things that remind me of my old face though and then hopefully I'll lose this unattractive timid-rabbit attitude and get mah fierce on. If not, I'll just have to extend the fake confidence I put on in public to my private thoughts. My gender psych says that confidence in my appearance would happen in time by itself anyway but that because of my quick transition I just haven't learned to trust how people see me yet and my mental map of my face is still clinging to an old image.
Alfarif said:
lol not really. I think what you're seeing is her strong jaw line.
idahoblue said:
PhoenixDark said:
I am totally getting in on that "NeoGAF hangout: Meet real gaffers in your area!" thread once I have healed up from this surgery in May and feel a bit more confident in meeting new people IRL. I could do with some (console) gamer buddies. Well.... maybe PC. Lexi maybe you could teach me how to play Team Fortress and take me to your LAN parties hehe. I think if I organized to meet a group of people from GAF right now I would just have a panic attack and chicken out at the last second. Which is lame I know. But idahoblue I might take you up on that offer one day (wait... ADELAIDE? Maaaaaaaybe not then lol).
I know how you are with compliments because I'm the same way. But what nobody has the guts to say to my face is that people give me compliments because they're being nice, they give you compliments because they're true.
To think that we feel the same way going out in public is ridiculous to me, I'm at the point where I think people just think I'm male even with the way I'm presenting. I had to hand over ID today and they didn't bat an eyelid. Just thinking about this upsets me massively, I'm like, worse than the obvious trucker in a dress, people just still see me as a male.
To think that we feel the same way going out in public is ridiculous to me, I'm at the point where I think people just think I'm male even with the way I'm presenting. I had to hand over ID today and they didn't bat an eyelid. Just thinking about this upsets me massively, I'm like, worse than the obvious trucker in a dress, people just still see me as a male.
Brian Griffin
Member
Well, I hope you eventually do learn because there are few things more frustrating than a great looking girl who can't see her own beauty. The other night my fiance rattled off a list of things that were "ugly" about her body and face and I just sat there slack jawed in amazement at how wrong she was. I know how I see her and how she sees herself are totally different but dammit, it feels like we are arguing over what color the sky is. It's fucking blue! :lolJamie xxoo said:
Despite your self-professed immunity to THINGS THAT ARE TRUE, I think you look like Tina Fey mixed with Rachael Leigh Cook.
JumpJeff84
Member
Jamie xxoo said:
Money?
JumpJeff84
Member
lexi said:
Get used to it, girlfriend.
NewGamePlus
Member
@
So, I was typing up a response to your first post yesterday when my grandma called and then I got completely sidetracked. What I mainly wanted to say though was thanks for the words of support. I was just wondering about how many people read this thread but don't post. If anyone's reading this who hasn't posted yet, would you? Even if you don't have anything to say just write "Hi" or something. It would totally make my day.
So, I was typing up a response to your first post yesterday when my grandma called and then I got completely sidetracked. What I mainly wanted to say though was thanks for the words of support. I was just wondering about how many people read this thread but don't post. If anyone's reading this who hasn't posted yet, would you? Even if you don't have anything to say just write "Hi" or something. It would totally make my day.
A couple weeks ago a big group of my friends were out having dinner to celebrate my best friend's birthday. It was really loud at the restaurant, so I didn't actually hear what the waiter said at first. But when he came to take my order it sounded like he clumsily and embarrassingly corrected himself into calling my sir. I don't know if he did mistake me for a girl, but I'm going to assume he did because it makes me happy.lexi said:
NewGamePlus said:@
So, I was typing up a response to your first post yesterday when my grandma called and then I got completely sidetracked. What I mainly wanted to say though was thanks for the words of support. I was just wondering about how many people read this thread but don't post. If anyone's reading this who hasn't posted yet, would you? Even if you don't have anything to say just write "Hi" or something. It would totally make my day.
A couple weeks ago a big group of my friends were out having dinner to celebrate my best friend's birthday. It was really loud at the restaurant, so I didn't actually hear what the waiter said at first. But when he came to take my order it sounded like he clumsily and embarrassingly corrected himself into calling my sir. I don't know if he did mistake me for a girl, but I'm going to assume he did because it makes me happy.
i was going to say hi, or comment on lexi and jamie's picture situation, however now i feel obligated to ask whether in public you try to appear as a guy or as a girl? and if you're dressing like a guy, isn't it insulting that the waiter might have thought at first that you are a girl?
NewGamePlus
Member
Yay! I was actually dressed in rather androgynes women's clothing. I was wearing a black female blazer with the sleeves slightly rolled up sorta like this, and skinny pants. I suppose the t-shirt I was wearing was men's though. Anyways, I wasn't actually trying to present female, but I would never be upset with someone thinking I was. It was apparently androgynes enough that not one of the 10 people I was with mentioned anything about the way I was dressed all night. Only three of them know I'm trans. Oh, and I was also carrying a really small messenger bag (basically an androgynes purse). Yet not a thing; which I'm perfectly fine with. I think all the gender-bending talk got exhausted early on when one of my male friends showed up with his toenails painted. His little sister likes to do that every now and then and he never removes it. It takes like months to wear off.mcrae said:
NewGamePlus said:
Hi! I've been lurking since it started and I thought about posting a couple of times, but talked myself out of it...
I can't say I fully understand, but I definitely support all of you in your journey to be the real you. Also, can't believe someone actually bitched about posting pictures. This is your thread so feel free to keep on keeping on!
Oh, and you ladies look amazing!
NewGamePlus
Member
Hi! Thanks for not talking yourself out of it this time.Wads said:
Papa
Banned
Quite an interesting thread. It's not a topic that's ever really come up for me outside of the "tranny surprise" joke among friends, so it's pretty eye-opening to actually start learning about it.
Shortly after reading the thread, I noticed this article on news.com.au. How does Transgendered-GAF feel about it? To me, it seems to portray the transgendered as sub-human, which is incredibly ignorant for what seems to be (correct me if I'm wrong) a pretty reputable Australian news site.
http://www.news.com.au/travel/world/how-to-spot-a-thai-ladyboy/story-e6frfqai-1225851216328
Shortly after reading the thread, I noticed this article on news.com.au. How does Transgendered-GAF feel about it? To me, it seems to portray the transgendered as sub-human, which is incredibly ignorant for what seems to be (correct me if I'm wrong) a pretty reputable Australian news site.
http://www.news.com.au/travel/world/how-to-spot-a-thai-ladyboy/story-e6frfqai-1225851216328
NewGamePlus
Member
Oh fuck me. That's ok, more people say hi and you'll redeem my night.matt404au said:
news.com.au is a Murdoch rag and thus vilifies minorities more often than not. All you need is the ABC for Local and Australian news. Be thankful the article wasn't written by Andrew Bolt.
I was in contact with an elderly gentlemen today who knew the old me, I fixed his PC a few times, and I was doing a favor for him today too. He didn't ask me about how I looked so I informed him and he took it just in amazing stride. By the time I went to leave he escorted me out and opened my car door for me. I'm still smiling.
I was in contact with an elderly gentlemen today who knew the old me, I fixed his PC a few times, and I was doing a favor for him today too. He didn't ask me about how I looked so I informed him and he took it just in amazing stride. By the time I went to leave he escorted me out and opened my car door for me. I'm still smiling.
NewGamePlus
Member
That sounds awesome. It seems like you are having a good day today.
ShadyLurker
Member
lexi said:
I think you're doing it wrong. When I smile at a cute girl, she normally just rolls her eyes and turns away...
Ok, so I just found out my friend's brother just found out his girl is transgendered by choice (hope I put this the right way; as in, she's not genetically transgendered, pre-op and all). He found out the "hard way," and supposedly cannot stop throwing up. He's constantly feeling sick.
A couple of questions (all for M2F btw):
1. How did the men you dated react when you revealed the truth. Or do you feel it unnecessary to do so?
2. Same question as above, but for pre-op (not counting breast augmentation, of course) M2F.
3. What is the top 5 hardest things you go through on a day to day basis?
A couple of questions (all for M2F btw):
1. How did the men you dated react when you revealed the truth. Or do you feel it unnecessary to do so?
2. Same question as above, but for pre-op (not counting breast augmentation, of course) M2F.
3. What is the top 5 hardest things you go through on a day to day basis?
JayDub said:
I'd edify a little bit on this but really I'm not qualified and somebody else will probably do a much better job then I can. I just hope he doesn't go and do something stupid.
1. I'm in a relationship with someone who knew from the start and is very sweet about it.
2. Um.. See above.
3.
a) seeing my face in the morning
b) feeling that I look like a guy
c) talking
d) feeling that I look like a guy
e) feeling that I look like a guy
NewGamePlus
Member
Yeah, a lot could probably be said about that, but I'm just going to say I think that you meant to say she is transgendered and not intersexed.JayDub said:
As for your questions, I've never dated a man nor have I dated anyone since beginning transition, so I can't really speak to that. My daily hardships are as follows:
1. Punctuality, I'm constantly late to everything (getting better though)
2. Getting motivated to clean my house, do dishes, do laundry, etc.
3. Waking up in the morning, I love to sleep (feeds number 1)
4. Deciding what to eat, I'm horribly indecisive especially when it comes to this
5. Disliking the way I look/sound/feel
... I know you meant in relation to being trans, but I don't really get called a freak on a daily basis. I suppose that could change as I start to appear more feminine, and I become more comfortable with how dress and act and such. But I feel like most of us probably have pretty normal, boring lives.
NewGamePlus
Member
I wasn't trying to imply that you were disrespectful, just trying to best answer your questions. And that's what I meant with the transgender vs. intersex thing. A person who is born with ambiguous genitalia or is genetically atypical is considered intersexed. A person who doesn't fit the gender role assigned to them at birth is transgendered. The latter is what I assumed you meant by saying "by choice." No one really chooses to be transgendered. Also, someone who is intersexed could end up being transgendered if assigned to the wrong gender. Err, I hope that actually made sense. :lolJayDub said: