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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
- Start date
Android18a
Member
I dont think I posted this yet, but I rang the psych yesterday. Got an appt for 10th May =0
NewGamePlus
Member
Welllllll, there's not really that much new to report. I'm still not on anti-androgens yet. The pharmacy has my prescription, but my insurance didn't want to pay for it without getting some authorization or something from my doctor. The thing is I've been seeing this doctor outside of my insurance (which as far as I can tell is how all endo's operate around here when it comes to HRT, I'm not really sure why that is, I suppose I could ask someone, but I'm just kinda going with the flow), so I'm going to see if I can get all that to work tomorrow. I did get my estradiol and syringes today though. See I got that from a mail-in pharmacy in Las Vegas (again I'm not 100% sure why that is but it was cheap, it's here, and I'm going with the flow). Anyways, I'm not sure if it was the change of setting or what, but after I got prepared it took me a good 10 minutes to actually work up the courage to give myself the shot. So, I don't have any really big changes to talk about. I do think I'm probably in an all around better mood these days. I feel like I've stopped eating too much (when I'm depressed, I eat like a lot, I'm not actually overweight though, last year when I wasn't actually depressed I managed to lose 30 pounds). Also, my libido has gone down and there have been some startling developments in the chest area, but I kinda feel embarrassed actually talking about that stuff So, yeah, I guess that's my update.lexi said:We're due for an update, NewGamePlus, how are you feeling?
Awesome!Android18a said:
Jamie xxoo
Member
It's nice to see other people posting to say hello. I was starting to think this thread was just a slower-than-normal IM conversation between 3 or 4 of us. Hello everyone!
Also the thread has moved on so much today I feel like I'm too late to join in on any of the mini-conversations. Just wanted to say congrats to you other girls for your passing experiences and transition progress today.
Also the thread has moved on so much today I feel like I'm too late to join in on any of the mini-conversations. Just wanted to say congrats to you other girls for your passing experiences and transition progress today.
Jamie xxoo
Member
JayDub said:
I've never dated anyone since transition. When I do, they will know beforehand that I'm trans whether I'm pre or post op. That's best for both of us. They wont care because I'm awesome.
Top 5 hardest things (for me) not in order:
1. Body anxiety and feelings of shame when dealing with my own image. Feeling like my face and body will never be right. Feeling like my body is in between genders - one thing up top and another down below. Showering is particularly hard.
2. Loneliness. That feeling of "who would want me?" The feeling of having to make do as a single person from now on.
3. Situations where I have to present ID which has not yet been changed, and generally any situation where I have to tell a stranger I'm transgender, due to the stigma attached.
4. People's assumptions when they know I'm trans - that I must be a sexual deviant, or that I'm a gay guy going overboard, or that I do drag performances. Having my identity as pretty much the girl next door taken away from me and replaced with things that I do not relate to at all.
5. Managing anxiety about my appearance - fighting back the feeling that I look like a public spectacle, or a man in a dress, and being paranoid that people will stare, laugh, comment, etc. Being frightened that I might be ridiculed publicly or beaten or worse if people see that I'm trans.
The thing about this list is that I am learning to be a better person because of it.
My lessons to learn from being transgender are:
1 - to not be self-obsessed and to think of others instead,
2 - to not be hung up on physical appearances, the body is just a vessel,
3 - to be self-reliant, not co-dependent,
4 - to stand up for myself and not give a damn what other people think,
5 - to assert my identity, my feelings of what is true about me, instead of passively allowing others to imprint their negative ideas of who I am on my psyche,
6 - to face fear,
7 - to be positive,
8 - to act with humility, compassion and love.
Hardships contain gifts, although they're difficult to see.
JumpJeff84
Member
Jamie xxoo said:
Those lesssons seem pretty universal for everyone, regardless of gender.
EDIT: not to take anything away from your personal experiences.
NewGamePlus
Member
No, no it never too late. You just got make mega-posts that respond to like 5 things at once. That's we used to do in the good ol' days of this thread. Ah, the good ol' days, I remember it like it was three weeks ago.Jamie xxoo said:
Jamie xxoo
Member
Whoompthereitis said:
Hmm I guess they are! But I meant that being trans forces me to learn them (whether I want to or not!)
Hi NewGame... I've been lurking.. and... I just can't do it. I'm an idiot. :lol
I don't watch the Tyra Show often, but Isis was on there today (I don't know if it was a new one) talking about her transition and SRS. If you don't know, Isis was the first TG model on America's Next Top Model, and was kicked off only because she was too uncomfortable to do the swimsuit sessions and, thus, took extremely poor photos during them. It was not only insightful for people who aren't familiar with transition, but they seemed to be treating it with all of the dignity and respect transitioning deserves. I'm very happy to see Tyra do a show on this.
I don't watch the Tyra Show often, but Isis was on there today (I don't know if it was a new one) talking about her transition and SRS. If you don't know, Isis was the first TG model on America's Next Top Model, and was kicked off only because she was too uncomfortable to do the swimsuit sessions and, thus, took extremely poor photos during them. It was not only insightful for people who aren't familiar with transition, but they seemed to be treating it with all of the dignity and respect transitioning deserves. I'm very happy to see Tyra do a show on this.
I knew I was due for a bad day after my day yesterday.
I went to a salon to get my eyebrows shaped and the girl knew I was trans. While waxing my brows she commented on how tall I was and how that wouldn't help me pass, how frizzy my hair was, how odd my voice was and basically all the confidence I got from yesterday has evaporated.
Further to that, my landlord contacted me and is wanting me out. No job means falling back on the rent.
And I HATE my FUCKING voice and want to see a vocal therapist.
I went to a salon to get my eyebrows shaped and the girl knew I was trans. While waxing my brows she commented on how tall I was and how that wouldn't help me pass, how frizzy my hair was, how odd my voice was and basically all the confidence I got from yesterday has evaporated.
Further to that, my landlord contacted me and is wanting me out. No job means falling back on the rent.
And I HATE my FUCKING voice and want to see a vocal therapist.
water_wendi
Water is not wet!
omg i hate when something like that happens Lexi.. so frustrating.. hugs! New day tomorrow though!
i thought about answering the question thingie posted earlier but dont really know how to answer it so ummm, i wont? i think my response is as confusing as the question :lol
i thought about answering the question thingie posted earlier but dont really know how to answer it so ummm, i wont? i think my response is as confusing as the question :lol
NewGamePlus
Member
So, I managed to get everything worked out today with my insurance and what not. Now have a bottle of Avodart, a 5α-reductase inhibitor. I say that only because I wanted to type a greek letter, αααα. So, here's to hoping that everyone can actually see it.
I really have no idea where you thought you were gonna go with that. :lolAlfarif said:
That really sucks, I'm sorry to hear that.lexi said:
Jamie xxoo
Member
lexi said:
=( Present for you.
JumpJeff84
Member
Sorry to hear about the landlord, Lexi.
Don't let the salon get you down though- those ladies are paid to notice everything.
The Korean lady I pay $ 25 for a haircut to can see into my soul.
Don't let the salon get you down though- those ladies are paid to notice everything.
The Korean lady I pay $ 25 for a haircut to can see into my soul.
Android18a
Member
Yeah, keep positive Lexi and you'll be fine *hugs*
Something tells me that salon doesn't get much repeat business.
*hugs*Something tells me that salon doesn't get much repeat business.
Instigator
Banned
Can't sift through all the pages and the search feature is off, but I wonder if this was brought up before:
What about kids? Do you want some (eventually)? This is particularly targeted at post-ops people (or those planning to be).
It seems to me the price you pay is to sacrifice functional, reproductive organs for hollow facsimiles from the other gender. I haven't kept track of adoption policies in other states/countries but my guess is that transgender people generally can't rely on that either.
What about kids? Do you want some (eventually)? This is particularly targeted at post-ops people (or those planning to be).
It seems to me the price you pay is to sacrifice functional, reproductive organs for hollow facsimiles from the other gender. I haven't kept track of adoption policies in other states/countries but my guess is that transgender people generally can't rely on that either.
Instigator said:
This topic has been mentioned briefly before, yes.
The idea of being a 'father' is so utterly repulsive to me, I would gladly sacrifice it for a so called hollow facsimile. In the same way, breast cancer survivors who undergo augmentation after a double mastectomy are also settling for a hollow facsimile.
As for adoption, at least as far as post-op is concerned, in most western societies you are legally considered female in every sense, so why would there be any problem with adoption?
Instigator
Banned
Breast cancer survivors can still have kids, assuming they didn't hit menopause yet. They just have to bottle feed. And their choice for a mastectomy was really a life or death kind of thing.
While the 'hollowness' is similar, the circumstances and consequences of their choice are completely different.
But thanks for the answer!
While the 'hollowness' is similar, the circumstances and consequences of their choice are completely different.
But thanks for the answer!
NewGamePlus
Member
What lexi said has been echoed many times. I think I might be the only person currently who has said I might like to actually have a child. I thought I might mention however that HRT alone will cause sterility. So it's not just something SRS candidates have to think about.
Whoa, hold up just a little bit. There are a lot of transexuals who would argue their operations were also a matter of life and death.Instigator said:
Instigator
Banned
NewGamePlus said:
Thanks for the answer.
Where I am ultimately getting at is that pregnancy, having kids is part of being a woman. Some women may feel otherwise for whatever reason, but most will want to at some point.
I understand the torment of feeling trapped in the wrong body/gender and wanting to rectify it. Assuming that you've 'fixed' yourself and you think you look like a woman, wanting to have kids or just feeling like you could (fertility) ought to be the next natural step for most (female) post-ops, but your reply implied it wasn't.
A matter of sanity perhaps, but I would strongly disagree that having a penis or boobs you don't want to have will physically kill you. It's not the same.
NewGamePlus
Member
I wasn't implying it wasn't. I meant that I would be okay with "fathering" a child, while many wouldn't. Hopefully in the future there will be ways for MTF's to become pregnant.Instigator said:
I didn't say it would physically kill them. I just think you shouldn't dismiss SRS as some flippant decision because for many it isn't a decision. And I don't appreciate you implying that I or other transgendered individuals are insane.Instigator said:
Instigator
Banned
NewGamePlus said:
But I didn't imply that. Only that remaining in a body/gender you don't feel is yours could drive you insane. It was actually a concession, a way to reach you half way, to what I thought was your earlier point (transgender operations are a matter of life or death).
Got it?
NewGamePlus
Member
Gotcha, I misread the sentence initially.Instigator said:
Jamie xxoo
Member
Instigator said:
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to have children? To be a mom and to be part of a family unit where I fit into it in the right place. I'd be a fantastic mom.
The ironic thing is I never had any urge to have children until the last few weeks - I even said a few weeks ago in this thread that I never wanted any - but looking after my 8 month old nephew has activated a maternal side of me I never knew I had. I've even had a few dreams about being pregnant!
So I don't know how I feel about the children issue anymore. I can't see myself ever having the opportunity to be a mom though, so I'm not going to spend much time on the thought.
Jamie xxoo
Member
If I was writing in a mother's day card or leaving a message for my mother I'd write "mum". Online I write "mom".
I am complex.
I am complex.
This is entirely off-topic, but I thought this would make a few of you happy. It's dark because my niece's room only has a tiny light in it and she wanted me to sit in there:
Princess Warren at your service.
From this... to a pretty princess. I guess you all were right.
Princess Warren at your service.
From this... to a pretty princess. I guess you all were right.
Not a transgender myself but I've known many throughout my time, working as a bartender.
Have nothing but respect for those of you who manage to find the courage and go through with everything. You're always a beacon of light and hope that there are much better things about humanity. The majority of our race may look at you with puzzlement and curiousity, often with hatred, but just know that there is at least one heterosexual male who supports you all whenever he can.
edit: I just noticed my tag is incredibly suss in this thread. Oh well.
Have nothing but respect for those of you who manage to find the courage and go through with everything. You're always a beacon of light and hope that there are much better things about humanity. The majority of our race may look at you with puzzlement and curiousity, often with hatred, but just know that there is at least one heterosexual male who supports you all whenever he can.
edit: I just noticed my tag is incredibly suss in this thread. Oh well.
half a moon
Banned
you can joke about something despite how effective it could or could not be.lexi said:
Jamie xxoo
Member
Thanks for posting with support speedpop.
:lol @ Alfarif.
:lol @ Alfarif.
Android18a
Member
Alfarif said:
Princess Warren at your service.
N'awww look at the likkle pwincess. Do oo want a wowwipop?
So I had dinner with my dad and brother tonight, totally out of the blue and unplanned and I had like 20 minutes to get ready and make a good impression (cause either of them haven't seen me in like 6 months)
Shocker of the decade is my dad is being nice about it and calling me Lex. He also said I looked great and that I have my sisters eyes.
My brother said I must be really proud with how I look. I don't think he quite understands the whole self loathing part of being transgender.
Shocker of the decade is my dad is being nice about it and calling me Lex. He also said I looked great and that I have my sisters eyes.
My brother said I must be really proud with how I look. I don't think he quite understands the whole self loathing part of being transgender.
EatChildren
Currently polling second in Australia's federal election (first in the Gold Coast), this feral may one day be your Bogan King.
Sounds like they were both trying to be as nice and understanding as they can, and even if shrouded in ignorance and misunderstanding, it is still an act of genuine kindness.
AKA: Sounds like it went better than expected and I'm happy to hear.
AKA: Sounds like it went better than expected and I'm happy to hear.
Jamie xxoo
Member
lexi said:
happy stories are happy!
Android18a
Member
Yeah sounds like they were both cool, Lexi. Your brother is right too, you should be proud of how you look. You're very hot
Jamie xxoo
Member
i no rite?
So, after neglecting it for past few years, today I clicked on "Post new pics" thread. I started reading it from the last page and moving backwards. After going through quite a lot of pages I saw a post saying that Jamie and Lexi are members of transgaf. Well, I didn't see it coming! You both look great.
Actually, there's more to it. I consider myself to be very tolerant and open-minded, but I've always wondered how would I react if I discovered that the girl I liked or was attracted to was transgendered. To be honest I was afraid that it would dramatically change how I felt. Hopefully my experience from "Post new pics" thread is an indication that I'm man enough to handle such a situation in real life
Anyway, I admire your strength and courage. It must be very hard to go through all of that, just to be who you really are.
<3
Actually, there's more to it. I consider myself to be very tolerant and open-minded, but I've always wondered how would I react if I discovered that the girl I liked or was attracted to was transgendered. To be honest I was afraid that it would dramatically change how I felt. Hopefully my experience from "Post new pics" thread is an indication that I'm man enough to handle such a situation in real life
Anyway, I admire your strength and courage. It must be very hard to go through all of that, just to be who you really are.
<3
BiasedGamer said:So, after neglecting it for past few years, today I clicked on "Post new pics" thread. I started reading it from the last page and moving backwards. After going through quite a lot of pages I saw a post saying that Jamie and Lexi are members of transgaf. Well, I didn't see it coming! You both look great.
Actually, there's more to it. I consider myself to be very tolerant and open-minded, but I've always wondered how would I react if I discovered that the girl I liked or was attracted to was transgendered. To be honest I was afraid that it would dramatically change how I felt. Hopefully my experience from "Post new pics" thread is an indication that I'm man enough to handle such a situation in real life
Anyway, I admire your strength and courage. It must be very hard to go through all of that, just to be who you really are.
<3
Major ups for this. We all have to remember that transgendered men and women are people, too. They have feelings just like everyone else, and if you've had the time of your life with that person, nothing should change because of what's currently or used to be between their legs.
As for the rest of you ladies... blackmail will not work. I am immune to your torment! Muwahaha!
BiasedGamer said:So, after neglecting it for past few years, today I clicked on "Post new pics" thread. I started reading it from the last page and moving backwards. After going through quite a lot of pages I saw a post saying that Jamie and Lexi are members of transgaf. Well, I didn't see it coming! You both look great.
Actually, there's more to it. I consider myself to be very tolerant and open-minded, but I've always wondered how would I react if I discovered that the girl I liked or was attracted to was transgendered. To be honest I was afraid that it would dramatically change how I felt. Hopefully my experience from "Post new pics" thread is an indication that I'm man enough to handle such a situation in real life
Anyway, I admire your strength and courage. It must be very hard to go through all of that, just to be who you really are.
<3
I think a lot of the stigma is that if you're attracted to a transgirl, that somehow means you're attracted to men as well, when that's generally just not the case. Being attracted to a pretty transgirl to begin with means you like femininity regardless of how it's presented, and that you appreciate her for who she is as a woman rather than her exact anatomical makeup, which I think is pretty admirable.