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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)
- Thread starter lexi
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Femmeworth
Banned
No, her latest video is from six months ago. I'm not too far into her videos yet, though.Alfarif said:
I checked out Transamerica from the library today, and I'm probably going to watch it tonight.
Jamie xxoo
Member
seal_club said:
I would. As long as his height didn't make me feel like I was overly big.
I read your post Shidoshi, and I'm thinking about it. Honestly though, who needs the negativity.
Breakfast on Pluto
Considering I watched this at work, the first 45 minutes didn't make a whole lick of sense. Well, it did, it was just I kept having to start and stop, and focus on other things. My barometer for whether I like a movie or not is based entirely on whether I get a headache or not. Breakfast on Pluto gave me a very slight headache, some of which had to do with how I watched it, and some of it having to do with the pacing.
The movie wasn't transrelated so much as the main character was trans without specifically stating as such (actually, there was only one point at which I believe a trans word was even used). You're introduced to Patrick "Kitten" Braden from her birth, and follow her life as she tries to find out more about herself and the mother and father that she doesn't know. The relationships Kitten develops with suitors, her friends, and the world at large, play such an intricate role in the movie, that it's not the plot (finding her mother) that drives the movie forward, but which character she'll meet next.
Trans-issues aren't necessarily the focus of the movie, either. This is a great example of having a trans-character in your movie, but not focusing on the fact that they are trans. We learn about Kitten purely on how she sees things and moves through them, not on whether the world agrees with transgendereds or not. This was rather refreshing. Oh, and Cillian Murphy makes a damn good looking woman, as well.
Overall, it was a decent movie. I don't think it was the best, and the pacing was pretty slow during the first half of it, but once it picked up, it picked up in a good way. It's probably better to watch this with no distractions, as well. That may have been my problem with the pacing.
Considering I watched this at work, the first 45 minutes didn't make a whole lick of sense. Well, it did, it was just I kept having to start and stop, and focus on other things. My barometer for whether I like a movie or not is based entirely on whether I get a headache or not. Breakfast on Pluto gave me a very slight headache, some of which had to do with how I watched it, and some of it having to do with the pacing.
The movie wasn't transrelated so much as the main character was trans without specifically stating as such (actually, there was only one point at which I believe a trans word was even used). You're introduced to Patrick "Kitten" Braden from her birth, and follow her life as she tries to find out more about herself and the mother and father that she doesn't know. The relationships Kitten develops with suitors, her friends, and the world at large, play such an intricate role in the movie, that it's not the plot (finding her mother) that drives the movie forward, but which character she'll meet next.
Trans-issues aren't necessarily the focus of the movie, either. This is a great example of having a trans-character in your movie, but not focusing on the fact that they are trans. We learn about Kitten purely on how she sees things and moves through them, not on whether the world agrees with transgendereds or not. This was rather refreshing. Oh, and Cillian Murphy makes a damn good looking woman, as well.
Overall, it was a decent movie. I don't think it was the best, and the pacing was pretty slow during the first half of it, but once it picked up, it picked up in a good way. It's probably better to watch this with no distractions, as well. That may have been my problem with the pacing.
Femmeworth
Banned
It was good, though a bit contrived. I appreciate that it wasn't overly dramatic, but at the same time I didn't get too emotionally involved. Bree's taste in clothing made me cringe. >_< The Lord of the Rings joke was just great. :lolAlfarif said:
Kevin Zegers was in Air Bud? Wow, he has definitely come a long way.
I think I'll be checking this movie out. I have a total mancrush(?) on Cillian Murhpy.Alfarif said:
Femmeworth
Banned
Glad to see I'm not the only one.Alfarif said:
Yeah threadless still has a lot of nice designs. I bought these earlier this week;ninj4junpei said:
http://media.threadless.com//product/1246/zoom.gif
http://media.threadless.com//product/1160/zoom.gif
Got them today.
lexi said:
Thanks, I just snorted orange juice out of my nose while reading that. Not a pleasant thing to do :lol
Great new avi's, Jamie and Lexi!
So talking about this whole being attracted to the opposite sex and so on... which famous person would you not kick out of the bed for crumbs so to say?
Jamie xxoo
Member
I can't tell you how much fun it was putting this together.
How about you Miriam?
water_wendi
Water is not wet!
nods at Guy and Ewan :lol
This thread moves so fast its crazy. Like 300 posts for me to catch up on hah
This thread moves so fast its crazy. Like 300 posts for me to catch up on hah
Oh nice, especially this one:
Oh, that must have been such hardship to google all these pictures!
I always feel a bit guilty about making these lists, since I'm happily married. But, in the hypothetical situation that I would be single again, these guys would defenitely on my list:
I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of any right now.
Jamie xxoo said:
I can't tell you how much fun it was putting this together.
Oh, that must have been such hardship to google all these pictures!
Jamie xxoo said:
I always feel a bit guilty about making these lists, since I'm happily married. But, in the hypothetical situation that I would be single again, these guys would defenitely on my list:
I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of any right now.
Jamie xxoo
Member
I think I'm the only person on the planet who thinks Brad Pitt isn't worth crossing the street for. I think it's 'cause he left Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie. I thought that was pretty jank.
Jamie xxoo
Member
I don't find married guys who leave their wife for another woman very attractive, is all I meant.
I would usually agree.
But I think that the Pitt/Aniston marriage was a doomed marriage.
It was obvious Jennifer had different priorities then Brad, who wanted to become a father, whereas Jennifer wanted to establish her carier after Friends. I think that even if Brad hadn't met Angelina, the marriage would have ended anyway.
I don't know ofcourse, I was not there and I don't know them personally. But Brad seems a lot happier in pictures nowadays then he did before, he seems a doting father, and Angelina has always firmly stated that nothing happened between them until Brad got divorced.
So in this case I'm giving him the benifit of the doubt.
Personally I find cheating one of the vilest things one can do to a loved one. Marriages aren't forever anymore, if one is unhappy and can't see things ever getting right again then that person should leave. There's no need to break that trust. But that's a personal view.
And, admittedly, Brad was mainly chosen for looks. I remember seeing him for the first time in Interview with a Vampire, which I only went to because my best friend had a huge crush on Tom Cruise (blegh) at the time. I was instantly smitten, and he's awlways had a soft place in my heart.
Viggo vagualy resembles my husband (in LOTRO anyway, with the beard), so much so that my daughter who was a toddler at the time would yell out "That's my daddy" if we walked past any of the LOTR movie posters :lol (I never got as many foul looks from women in my life as in those days )
So its no wonder I found him instantly attractive I suppose....
But I think that the Pitt/Aniston marriage was a doomed marriage.
It was obvious Jennifer had different priorities then Brad, who wanted to become a father, whereas Jennifer wanted to establish her carier after Friends. I think that even if Brad hadn't met Angelina, the marriage would have ended anyway.
I don't know ofcourse, I was not there and I don't know them personally. But Brad seems a lot happier in pictures nowadays then he did before, he seems a doting father, and Angelina has always firmly stated that nothing happened between them until Brad got divorced.
So in this case I'm giving him the benifit of the doubt.
Personally I find cheating one of the vilest things one can do to a loved one. Marriages aren't forever anymore, if one is unhappy and can't see things ever getting right again then that person should leave. There's no need to break that trust. But that's a personal view.
And, admittedly, Brad was mainly chosen for looks. I remember seeing him for the first time in Interview with a Vampire, which I only went to because my best friend had a huge crush on Tom Cruise (blegh) at the time. I was instantly smitten, and he's awlways had a soft place in my heart.
Viggo vagualy resembles my husband (in LOTRO anyway, with the beard), so much so that my daughter who was a toddler at the time would yell out "That's my daddy" if we walked past any of the LOTR movie posters :lol (I never got as many foul looks from women in my life as in those days
)So its no wonder I found him instantly attractive I suppose....
Jamie xxoo
Member
MiriamV said:Viggo vagualy resembles my husband (in LOTRO anyway, with the beard), so much so that my daughter who was a toddler at the time would yell out "That's my daddy" if we walked past any of the LOTR movie posters :lol (I never got as many foul looks from women in my life as in those days
That... is so awesome. :lol
I don't know, I mean, you're right, I don't know what happened between them either. He's always just struck me as kind of "pretty", but not attractive, even before all that. I feel the same way about Johnny Depp, yet he's considered one of the world's sexiest men.
But if everyone found the same thing attractive, what fun would that be?
EatChildren
Currently polling second in Australia's federal election (first in the Gold Coast), this feral may one day be your Bogan King.
I get the impression Jamie has a taste for men with strong, masculine body buids (strong shoulders, somewhat muscular, tall), lwith a wee bit of neat stuble, but dressing neat and profession with perhaps a dash of casual.
Femmeworth
Banned
Jamie, you have interesting taste in men. I definitely wasn't expecting Vince Vaughn. :lol
On a more serious note, I need advice. I'm going to have to "come out" fairly early to my parents, since I will need their support, especially financially. Of course, I won't "come out" until I know it is for sure, so I'll need to see a therapist. I would see a therapist here at my university, but it's too late for that as the semester is coming to an end. I will be returning home (to my parents) for the summer, where I hope I will be able to get a job. The thing is I keep my parents on a "need to know" basis, which I have done for quite a long time. Unfortunately because of that, I have kept a lot of things from them, like the fact that I am an atheist. I have seen a counselor/therapist and psychiatrist, and I'm on anti-depressants because I had/have suicidal thoughts. On top of that, college hasn't been going to so great and I am going to have to switch majors. I think I have ADHD, so I need to get tested for that too.
I've been meaning to talk to my father, but I've been too afraid to. He called last week and I ignored it, and when he called today I used it as a good reason to go take a shower. >_>
Essentially, I have dug myself into afairly really fucking deep hole, and I'm not sure where to begin when explaining this to my parents. I know to not drop all of this on them at once, but I'm not sure how to go about it.
I would really appreciate some advice.
On a sillier note, I think I'm going to make slide show to "come out" and explain to my family about transsexualism. While I don't think my father or sister will react too badly, my mother is rather ignorant but still caring.
On a more serious note, I need advice. I'm going to have to "come out" fairly early to my parents, since I will need their support, especially financially. Of course, I won't "come out" until I know it is for sure, so I'll need to see a therapist. I would see a therapist here at my university, but it's too late for that as the semester is coming to an end. I will be returning home (to my parents) for the summer, where I hope I will be able to get a job. The thing is I keep my parents on a "need to know" basis, which I have done for quite a long time. Unfortunately because of that, I have kept a lot of things from them, like the fact that I am an atheist. I have seen a counselor/therapist and psychiatrist, and I'm on anti-depressants because I had/have suicidal thoughts. On top of that, college hasn't been going to so great and I am going to have to switch majors. I think I have ADHD, so I need to get tested for that too.
I've been meaning to talk to my father, but I've been too afraid to. He called last week and I ignored it, and when he called today I used it as a good reason to go take a shower. >_>
Essentially, I have dug myself into a
I would really appreciate some advice.
On a sillier note, I think I'm going to make slide show to "come out" and explain to my family about transsexualism. While I don't think my father or sister will react too badly, my mother is rather ignorant but still caring.
Femmeworth
Banned
Well, I already look a bit androgynous. I have long (about neck length) hair, and I typically go out wearing a hair band and sometimes a ponytail. I enjoy wearing tight jeans and clothing. Funny story, I tried on a pair of girl jeans and liked it, but the pockets were too small. I had some terrible facial hair, because I thought girls would like me better and I was lazy, but I've been shaving more regularly lately. Unfortunately, I suck at shaving. :\ I've been considering trimming my body hair, but I am on the hairier side.Himuro said:
Femmeworth
Banned
I definitely don't want to grow my nails out, perhaps paint them. My sister hurts and bitches about her nails way too often. :lol I can't really be too girly this summer, since I will be staying with my parents. I don't really have any friends I could trust where I'm from. I do have two female friends that I could trust and know they would be supportive, but they live in another state and I don't think they'll be coming home for the summer.Himuro said:
I mostly have trouble with ingrown hairs, razor burn, and getting a close shave in general. My neck is the biggest source of my problems. I was using a five bladed razor, but I just tried a three bladed razor and had an easier time.Himuro said:
I remember that. :lolHimuro said:
Will do.Rctdaemon said:
Femmeworth
Banned
Yeah, I'll have to try the Bodygroom out. I already have one of the Norelco products, the one for the face and head. I forgot how amazingly brilliant the website is for it. :lolHimuro said:
Edit: I just had a brilliant idea. I'll trim/shave my body hair, and if anyone is suspicious I'll just tell them I get really hot in the summer time. I wouldn't be lying either.
Whoops, I forgot to say thanks for the advice, Himuro.
JumpJeff84
Member
Being a hot guy is harder than it looks.
ninj4junpei said:
Not to say that our situations are similar, but I spent a great deal of my life not opening up to my family. I really didn't understand why early on, I just felt like they wouldn't understand the kinds of things I was going through, who I was, things like that. So, I had a situation that kind of sounds familiar in what you're saying.
You know what advice I'd give you? Sit your family down and just be honest with them. Don't tell them you're "transgender" or part of this or that group, don't make yourself into a lifestyle or disorder or whatever else, just be you. That's who they care about, and that's who they'd be able to understand most.
Tell them your feelings. Tell them what you're going through, tell them how confused you are, tell them why it's been hard for you to open up to them before. The more honest and sincere and emotional you are about the things you share with them and open up about, the more they will hopefully be willing to try to understand what it is that you're dealing with.
Only you know if your family could handle that or not, but if they can, then be honest with them. The longer you put off being honest about who you are, the harder it is to admit to, and the more crazy you'll drive yourself trying to figure out when and how to tell them. Don't go in with a plan, or charts, or statistics, or any of that, because it'll be information overload. Let that come as a follow-up step, once they're ready to understand more about those kinds of aspect.
Hit home the point that matters most - that somebody that they love and care about isn't happy, and really needs compassion and support right now. That's what a family is supposed to be there for.
Anyhow, that's my opinion on the situation. If you think you family won't be supportive, then I agree that there are better ways to go about it. If you think they will be, though, then open up to them. Let them know. Who cares if you haven't fully figured yourself out yet; if they're decent human beings and family members, that won't matter one bit.
Femmeworth
Banned
Definitely good advice and I appreciate it, but I just have a really hard time being sincere with my family. I've spent a good portion of my life distancing myself emotionally from them. I have too many barriers in place for me to simply pull a 180. I talked to my counselor about it last semester, but she couldn't really help me understand it. Though, it's not just my family I'm distant from. I don't really have any deep or close relationships (romantic or platonic) with anyone. When it comes down to it, I don't think I really trust anyone. (Except this this thread of course, but you know what I mean.)shidoshi said:
Jamie xxoo
Member
EatChildren said:
Well, I wouldn't say that any of that is a pre-requisite for me to crush on a guy, but it all sounds pretty good! :lol
ninj4junpei said:
Mostly with Vince it's in the personality. I just have the crushes for him! Usually it's just something about a guy's presence that gets me, he doesn't have to be classically good looking or have the best body in the world. I guess if I'm being honest though the guys I have been in relationships with generally tend to have pretty broad shoulders, but Paul Rudd's not broad-shouldered, so... *shrug*.
ninj4junpei said:
I have a guy friend with this problem who was talking about it one day, also mainly on his neck, and someone else we were with recommended using an antiseptic wipe, like the anti-pimple/skin-cleansing pads you can buy from clearasil, to stop small cuts and nicks being infected, and to help prevent ingrown hairs, allowing you to shave more often with fewer problems. I think he said you need to use the wipe both before you shave, and after, and that it's a good idea to wait 30 seconds after using the wipe before you do anything else to your face, to give time for the bacteria to die. I hope that helps!
@ninj4junpei:
shidoshi said:
Everything Shidoshi wrote in that post is just such brilliant advice and exactly what I would like to have said (if I could say it that well). Staying away from labels might be a good idea because labels can bring all sorts of pre-conceived ideas and prejudices up in people's minds. You could just go with the simple truth: you're lost, you're in trouble, you feel bad all the time, you don't know what to do, you need help, and this is how you feel and this is what you think.
I know it's hard to break through that barrier of "I don't talk about this stuff with people", but there's no preparation you need to do, no process to go through first that makes you ready to feel like talking to people from the heart. I know we all want things like this to be less frightening, less potentially humiliating, and less difficult. But in trying to avoid all that, you can end up waiting around forever, not doing anything. If you've decided that this is something that you want to do at some point - talk to your parents I mean - then honestly, isn't it better in the long run to just DO it, fear and all, so you can move on to the next stage? Even if you think you can't, you can open your mouth and just say SOMETHING. Just START. Do it for yourself, because until you do it, you can just sink deeper and deeper into a hole. You're already using language that shows a mindset that you've "gone too far". This is *never* true. Everything can change in a day when you break through the fear and just talk.
I mean, if you think your parents will react reasonably. If you think they will cut you off emotionally and financially while you are still studying, then that's a different story. It sounds like you are close though, so I'm not sure that that would be a realistic fear. Only you or those close to you can know that.
Most of the things you have to face in transition, if that is the road you go down, involve doing things that you don't "feel" ready for. Some people say to do things when you feel comfortable - and you can do that, but you can lose years and years of your life to "getting ready" if you do, and you'll probably still find yourself nervous and scared when you finally DO reach that "I'm ready" point. I have never once regretted "just doing it" when it comes to facing fear - when you know you want or need to do something to move on, and there's something frightening in the way, I've found the best policy is to just push yourself through it. That's me though, you may not think the same. But that's the best advice I can give. =)
ninj4junpei said:
Trust me, I know how you feel. I've been there; hell, I'm still there in a lot of ways! I still feel very distant from my mother, and talking about her when it comes to even the smallest things can be torture for me. I don't know why. She's not at all a bad person, she's never judged me - hell, she's always been supportive of me no matter who I was or what I wanted to be.
But, like Jamie said, it's never too late. I remember a couple of years ago, when I really, seriously talked to my mother for the first time in a long time. I mean, an honest, heartfelt talk, not just casual conversation. I didn't think I could do it, and getting myself to start was torture. But the moment I spoke my first words, bam - it just all came flowing out. Years and years of pent-up feelings that had wanted to be freed for a long time.
I know that telling you "just do it" is so simple for me to do, but... just do it. If you have faith in them, of course. That first step, I totally understand. It's brutal. I'm willing to be though that you and I probably aren't all that different in this regard. I think that as hard as it can be to allow yourself to open up, the moment you do, you'll find it hard to stop. And then, afterward, you'll have let yourself do something you've probably been wanting to do inside for years, and you'll feel much, much better having done it.
Jamie xxoo
Member
Post the other one where you are showing your nails up close - I love that pic! And are you going to tell the story?
EatChildren
Currently polling second in Australia's federal election (first in the Gold Coast), this feral may one day be your Bogan King.
I like stories. Do itttttttt.
Oh wow, Lexi, I love your eyelashes! Mine have always ben so short while my brother's are ultra long, it's so unfair
Love the lipstick tooo, what a nice warm color!
ninj4junpei, I don't have much advice, but I think the advice that has been given so far is very good.
Are you more comfortable with one parent then the other? I used to get on with my mum better then my dad for example. Maybe you could talk to only one of them first, would that be easier?
I've been adviced in the past to hold difficult conversations while going for a drive or a walk. Sometimes it's easier to talk about difficult things when you are next to each other, rather then opposite each other.
Being in semi public (like a quiet beach or a park, somewhere where you might run in to other people, but not too busy a place) also can help prevent yelling at each other, which keeps the conversation more civil even if you don't quite agree with what the other says.
Another thing could be to bring a friend for backup, or to have a friend waiting for you afterwards. Ofcourse that would mean letting one of your friends know about all of this too. But it might give you some emotional support, regardles of how things go.
Either way, do try and talk to your parents. they might surprise you. After all, most parents do love their children, regardles of any differences they might have, and would like to see their child happy.
Love the lipstick tooo, what a nice warm color!
ninj4junpei, I don't have much advice, but I think the advice that has been given so far is very good.
Are you more comfortable with one parent then the other? I used to get on with my mum better then my dad for example. Maybe you could talk to only one of them first, would that be easier?
I've been adviced in the past to hold difficult conversations while going for a drive or a walk. Sometimes it's easier to talk about difficult things when you are next to each other, rather then opposite each other.
Being in semi public (like a quiet beach or a park, somewhere where you might run in to other people, but not too busy a place) also can help prevent yelling at each other, which keeps the conversation more civil even if you don't quite agree with what the other says.
Another thing could be to bring a friend for backup, or to have a friend waiting for you afterwards. Ofcourse that would mean letting one of your friends know about all of this too. But it might give you some emotional support, regardles of how things go.
Either way, do try and talk to your parents. they might surprise you. After all, most parents do love their children, regardles of any differences they might have, and would like to see their child happy.
MiriamV said:Oh wow, Lexi, I love your eyelashes! Mine have always ben so short while my brother's are ultra long, it's so unfair
Love the lipstick tooo, what a nice warm color!
Jangaroo said:
II CETRA II said:
Thank you! I really love the shade too.
Jamie xxoo said:
Which story? I have a few stories from today.
Jamie xxoo
Member
Not something I know off the top of my head. There is a comprehensive document about what happens in Queensland jails (in Australia) here. From what I can make out, by default it's based on your genitals, but if you are trans and have not had genital surgery, it's decided on a case-by-case basis. It sounds like trans prisoners are isolated in some cases.
Perhaps someone else can google for the U.S., I'm tired. =)
P.S. a "Transvestite" is just a man who dresses as a woman sometimes - but he still thinks of himself as a man and doesn't want to live as a woman. He doesn't go through a medical transition. The majority of transvestites are heterosexual (they like women) and are often married. It's another, more old-fashioned word for "crossdresser".
Some transsexuals do go through a cross-dressing stage before they internally get to the point where they can accept they are transsexual though, and decide to medically transition. So it can be a gray area. But if a crossdresser/transvestite went to jail in Australia, they'd just be put in a men's jail. No hormone therapy - no case for special treatment.
Perhaps someone else can google for the U.S., I'm tired. =)
selig said:
P.S. a "Transvestite" is just a man who dresses as a woman sometimes - but he still thinks of himself as a man and doesn't want to live as a woman. He doesn't go through a medical transition. The majority of transvestites are heterosexual (they like women) and are often married. It's another, more old-fashioned word for "crossdresser".
Some transsexuals do go through a cross-dressing stage before they internally get to the point where they can accept they are transsexual though, and decide to medically transition. So it can be a gray area. But if a crossdresser/transvestite went to jail in Australia, they'd just be put in a men's jail. No hormone therapy - no case for special treatment.
Jamie xxoo
Member
lexi said:
About how you came to get your nails and makeup done.
Jamie xxoo said:
The Clearasil pads most likely helped him because they're decent exfoliators, which would help the ingrown hair issue. However, they also burn like the devil on freshly-shaved faces (understatement), so I would recommend getting something like this and trying it first (used at least 3 times a week pre-shave). Any other scrub would be fine if you don't like that (or if it's too expensive for you (you being the guy Jamie replied to)) the Jack Black products are just my personal favorites (they've got an amazing shaving cream/thing called Beard Lube too). They're pretty great for sensitive skin.
miserabile visu
Banned
wow read the thread on that other board. So much misogynic hatred. Probably fuled by their own lack of experience of the opposite sex. Its so sad. That olimario person is probably a homosexual himself. Just waiting to bust out.
Dont let these cockroaches get to you.
Dont let these cockroaches get to you.
Femmeworth
Banned
lexi said:
Femmeworth
Banned
Thanks, I hope so too.Himuro said:
I just used my beard trimmer on the lowest setting. It's far from perfect, as I need a better method body shaver or otherwise. Since I still have masculine skin, would regular shaving cream and a razor be okay on my legs and such? Or do I need to look into what women use?Himuro said:
Lexi: Looking good there!
And I have a somewhat personal question for transgaf:
Do you believe in a traditional God or are part of a organized religion?
And if yes, do you find it hard to reconcile that you were born in the wrong body with the existence of God's supposed all-benevolence?
Hair removal cream is fucking ace, wish I could use that on face (never do that).Himuro said:
And I have a somewhat personal question for transgaf:
Do you believe in a traditional God or are part of a organized religion?
And if yes, do you find it hard to reconcile that you were born in the wrong body with the existence of God's supposed all-benevolence?
Femmeworth
Banned
Himuro said:
Whoa! O_O I'll definitely check that out, though it sounds like I'll still need to use a shaver in combination with it.Himuro said:
Femmeworth
Banned
Jayge said:
What kind of torture device is this thing?!