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[Alfarif]

Never thought I'd find a videogame forum on the internet where transgendered people could discuss their identity openly. Cheers!

because you can't. This is just to lull you into a false sense of security and then BAM! .... I have nothing after that.

 

[soco]

At this point, I've got an immense sense of guilt and self-hatred over the whole thing. My entire life, I told myself I wasn't going to enter into marriage lightly, because I had watched my parents have a horrible and messy divorce. I was determined to not get married until I met the right person, and until I was sure it was exactly what I wanted.

So here I am now, coming to terms with the fact that I married somebody without having all of my personal issues sorted out, and they're now coming to bite me in the ass. I made a promise to my wife that I now I feel like I can't keep, and I feel like I deceived her in who she was marrying.

there's not a single person in the world that comes without baggage. you'll die before you've solved all of your personal problems. that's not to say people should take marriage lightly, but you can't really blame yourself for that. you made a decision that felt right for you at the time, and because you feel guilt, it's a good sign you haven't taken it lightly.

i'm not really qualified to say much more than that, but in my experience, waiting isn't going to make anything easier or better, and it's just going to waste more of both of your time.

 

[soco]

because you can't. This is just to lull you into a false sense of security and then BAM! .... I have nothing after that.

ah, i've seen a few where it's kinda discussed. i had a guy on my XBL friends list that decided he was trans after he'd added me. (we met on a gay gaming forum where i'd also seen the issue discussed by others)

 

[Cetra]

This really breaks my heart, I know how difficult it is, but you really have to move past that fear of rejection. This isn't about other people, it's about YOU. It's time for 'the' Dr. Seuss quote:

It's really odd you bring that quote up, because outwardly I've always called myself living by it. In a weird way I guess I've used it as some sort of warped defense mechanism, as I've used lots of other things. Video games, drawing, music, anything that allows me to escape.

I find my biggest problem nowadays is still the fear of rejection to a degree, but the largest part is that I've become way to attached to my "walls" so to speak. I constantly keep them up as a means to hide from the world as well as myself. Moments of clarity when I'm reminded out of the blue that I do have these strong feeling of being in the wrong gender cause more pain than being bullied (I've always been over-weight and was born club-footed so I have a strange walk) ever did.

It's rough, and I have nothing but the utmost admiration for other transpeople who summon the will to see it through. Hopefully one day I will as well.

 

[Android18a]

Wow, a surprising amount of us coming out of hiding here!

Just wanna say congrats to all of you for not being too embarrassed to post here It takes a lot of courage, especially on one of the busiest forums on the internet.

So, yeah, =)

Lets all have a slumber party <3

 

[Snuggles]

Big ups to all of you. Seriously.

I have a massive amount of respect for anyone who's willing to be themselves regardless of the prejudice and hatred that some people will have towards you. You're some kick ass dudes and dudettes.

 

[Dead Man]

So much inspiration in this thread, thanks for posting all the stories and info boys and girls.

Maybe ive missed it so far but are there any ftm transguys here?

On the topic of ftm.. i find it interesting that i really appreciate how handsome they are because i kinda understand the work that has gone into making them who theyve become. i can say the same thing with transwomen and beauty but for women in general (genetic or otherwise), beauty is practically a fulltime job.. so its not exactly the same kind of thing :lol i hope this makes sense.. ive tried rewriting it to be clearer but right now the words arent flowing as well as id like heh

I think part of that is that there are more ways for men to be seen as handsome in society. A pretty man is still handsome, but a handsome woman is not considered pretty usually. Maybe. I don't know. It just seems like us guys have more options for being considered good looking without being so conventional, whereas most of society seems to think in a narrower range for what constitutes a good looking woman.

Awesome post of excellence

God. I can't even imagine that. Having to play games one handed! But seriously, you seem like one switched on kid, so best of luck with everything. And remember, you don't have to fit in anyone elses category. For a long time I thought I was straight, then gay, then I thought I had to be a perfect 50% bi guy. Turns out I'm just me. And I like that. So you just be you, and make sure you stay you.

Tragic post of sadness

All I can say is I hope you and her find some happiness, together or apart, and that you find the road you need to be on. Have a hug.

 

[Risette]

Thanks for all the comments/replies to my post. Glad I took the time to type all that up.

It really helps to get something like that out there onto a pretty populated forum like this, and reading all the positive replies and stuff makes me feel better about myself too.

 

[GCX]

I spent yesterday night with an old friend who's had his gender changed (from woman to man, he's only 22). He's such a nice and humble guy.

So yeah, I'm here just to show my support.

 

[Alfarif]

Thanks for all the comments/replies to my post. Glad I took the time to type all that up.

It really helps to get something like that out there onto a pretty populated forum like this, and reading all the positive replies and stuff makes me feel better about myself too.

That's what this is for! If someone comes in here being a douche, I think it should be an instant perma ban for the eternity of the internet... but that's just me.

 

[Scrow]

i don't have anything to add to this topic other than saying i love this quote.

"If you have the courage to ask, I have the courage to answer."

 

[mantidor]

I'm so very glad about this thread. There's so many questions in my head.

For now I will start with just one: the name change. How hard it is? your name is practically hardwired since birth, and it becomes such a big part of you that changing it is almost like being someone else. Yes, changing your gender is huge, but still as I understand it you are not becoming someone else, you are just basically accepting who you are and with whatever help current medical technology can give you, you modify your body to get there as close as possible. I don't see a name change fitting in that picture.

If I were transexual I think I would keep my male name.

so, what are your experiences? are there any transexuals who actually keep their previous gender names? and how hard is to adjust when you decide to change it?

 

[Risette]

I'm so very glad about this thread. There's so many questions in my head.

For now I will start with just one: the name change. How hard it is? your name is practically hardwired since birth, and it becomes such a big part of you that changing it is almost like being someone else. Yes, changing your gender is huge, but still as I understand it you are not becoming someone else, you are just basically accepting who you are and with whatever help current medical technology can give you, you modify your body to get there as close as possible. I don't see a name change fitting in that picture.

If I were transexual I think I would keep my male name.

so, what are your experiences? are there any transexuals who actually keep their previous gender names? and how hard is to adjust when you decide to change it?

My name is Justin and I plan to change my name to Justine when I transition. Easy change. :lol

 

[wRATH2x]

Yeah why do you change your name to something similar? Why not go with something new?

 

[Android18a]

Good question. I think whether your change your name depends on what it is, to start with.

IF you were called Arthur or Henry, a name change would probably be neccessary, wheras an Ashley or Michael could get away with a smaller, or no change.

I've had my new name in mind for decades though, so its as part of me as my "birth" name.

Phil ----> Jessica (toyed with Joanna for a while, but Jessica was cuter!)

 

[Alfarif]

Good question. I think whether your change your name depends on what it is, to start with.

IF you were called Arthur or Henry, a name change would probably be neccessary, wheras an Ashley or Michael could get away with a smaller, or no change.

I've had my new name in mind for decades though, so its as part of me as my "birth" name.

Phil ----> Jessica (toyed with Joanna for a while, but Jessica was cuter!)

Haha. Not that I'll ever use it but I figured I would like to use the name Ariel. I like the way it rolls off the tongue. I name all my female characters either that or Emeraldwind, which I've been using since 1996. It's also the name of the character of my book series I've been working on for awhile.

 

[Risette]

Yeah why do you change your name to something similar? Why not go with something new?

Easier to adjust to, and I'd basically keep the name my parents gave me.

I think the name thing probably depends on the person. Someone could want to go for a complete change if they tie their old name to bad memories.

 

[lexi]

Yeah, generally it's not something you just come up and start thinking of yourself as, it's usually a name you've had in mind for ages. A common trend for TS's is to name themselves after a girl they admired in early school life.

I adapted to Lexi very well, it just seemed so me.

 

[wRATH2x]

Lets all have a slumber party <3

Only if you invite my manly self, I'll make you all feel "comfortable" with the change

 

[Alfarif]

Only if you invite my manly self, I'll make you all feel "comfortable" with the change

You sly dog.

 

[Jet Grind Radio!]

Yea I don't have anything to add, so I'll just give a thumbs up.

*thumbs up*

 

[EatChildren]

Query; when you gals go to the doctor regarding issues, particuarly psychological issues and medical issues involving this situation, do you find they treat you as who you are or the reverse? EG: Do they treat you as women in a mans body, or do you find they have a tendency to treat you as a man with a woman's mindset?

Just curious. I can imagine if it were the latter it would be immensely frustrating.

 

[lexi]

Query; when you gals go to the doctor regarding issues, particuarly psychological issues and medical issues involving this situation, do you find they treat you as who you are or the reverse? EG: Do they treat you as women in a mans body, or do you find they have a tendency to treat you as a man with a woman's mindset?

Just curious. I can imagine if it were the latter it would be immensely frustrating.

It depends on the Doctor. There are several that you will utilize on the journey. In all, (so far) I have 3 professionals that I see. A GP, Therapist and Endocrinologist.

The Endocrinologist is wonderful and treats me like he would any other female patient, his staff do too. (I guess they would be used to it) My GP is a very friendly, very respectful man who listens to my frustrations and offers nothing but firm medical advice, support and encouragement, the way he speaks and interacts with me makes me feel as if he is talking to a woman.

The Therapist is where I have the most issues, Although she did give me the go-ahead I needed to start hormone replacement therapy, she made me feel as if I was being interrogated, tested and determined whether or not I was a candidate for HRT. There's a scene in Transamerica that nails this completely.

'Do you consider yourself a happy person?'
'Yes... I mean no... I mean, I will be..'

 

[dmshaposv]

Only if you invite my manly self, I'll make you all feel "comfortable" with the change

 

[wRATH2x]

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Alfarif]

It depends on the Doctor. There are several that you will utilize on the journey. In all, (so far) I have 3 professionals that I see. A GP, Therapist and Endocrinologist.

The Endocrinologist is wonderful and treats me like he would any other female patient, his staff do too. (I guess they would be used to it) My GP is a very friendly, very respectful man who listens to my frustrations and offers nothing but firm medical advice, support and encouragement, the way he speaks and interacts with me makes me feel as if he is talking to a woman.

The Therapist is where I have the most issues, Although she did give me the go-ahead I needed to start hormone replacement therapy, she made me feel as if I was being interrogated, tested and determined whether or not I was a candidate for HRT. There's a scene in Transamerica that nails this completely.

'Do you consider yourself a happy person?'
'Yes... I mean no... I mean, I will be..'

Just finished watching that movie. It's really sad that the therapist is probably the greatest link to going the whole way and they can be so cavaliar and dismissive.

 

[lexi]

You need their okay to start HRT, which is one of the first steps in transitioning. I felt like it was a job interview, and the experience really soured me on the whole 'GID is a mental illness' hoops we have to jump through like trained seals.

 

[EatChildren]

Just finished watching that movie. It's really sad that the therapist is probably the greatest link to going the whole way and they can be so cavaliar and dismissive.

Thats how a lot of therapists operate though, simply because they're trying to push your buttons and make sure you're making decisions for the right reasons. Therapy of all kinds is not just about helping you go down the right path, but also self understanding of that path, your options, and knowing what truly is best.

Thanks for the answer lexi.

 

[water_wendi]

For now I will start with just one: the name change. How hard it is? your name is practically hardwired since birth, and it becomes such a big part of you that changing it is almost like being someone else. Yes, changing your gender is huge, but still as I understand it you are not becoming someone else, you are just basically accepting who you are and with whatever help current medical technology can give you, you modify your body to get there as close as possible. I don't see a name change fitting in that picture.

That is probably the easiest thing for me to do. i dont identify with my male name out of anything other than necessity. i hate that name. Not because it reminds me of any particular incident or anything.. its just that my given name represents someone who doesnt exist.

If I were transexual I think I would keep my male name.

so, what are your experiences? are there any transexuals who actually keep their previous gender names? and how hard is to adjust when you decide to change it?

i dont think ive ever met a transperson that transitioned that kept their own name. Maybe there was a Chris or Alex but usually they go with the masculine or feminized version.. mtf Chris->Chrissy.. ftm Alex/is->Alexander.

As for how hard it is to adjust.. my female name, wendi, i relate to and respond to just as much as my birth name.. it also helps that i love being called by wendi :lol In terms of practicality, i originally tried to go with an M name since it might make things easier once i start living full-time since my first names initial is M. Take credit cards for instance.. i could have it go from M------ Smith to M Smith.. and once the legal name change takes place change it to Melody Smith, for example. The only reason i did not go with an M name.. and i did go by melody for awhile as it was given to me by someone.. is that the name just didnt click with me. The name wendi was something that i had been called in dreamland a few times before, and it fits my middle initial of W, so i finally settled on it a few years ago.

 

[Android18a]

Only if you invite my manly self, I'll make you all feel "comfortable" with the change

*hides under duvet*

 

[lexi]

Updated OP to include Resources and the option for TransGAFfers to opt in to the prestigious members list.

 

[water_wendi]

Said it in pm but i think it deserves its own post in the thread.. awesome work on the OP lexi! Very nice design and i love the little icons next to the name

Members get a cookie.

Dont even joke about that heh.. i just woke up a little bit ago and im getting hungry :lol

i cant wait to get back on hormones. The short time i was on pharma hormones.. and im certain some of this might be just in my head.. but my senses felt so much sharper. Esp taste and smell. The best thing though was just the sense of well-being. My mind doesnt work very well with test that for sure :lol

 

[Android18a]

Members get a cookie.

 

[wRATH2x]

*hides under duvet*

Whats a duvet?

 

[Android18a]

Quilt/blanket. One of those things you put over yourself when you sleep. ^_^ Soft and warm.

 

[lexi]

i cant wait to get back on hormones. The short time i was on pharma hormones.. and im certain some of this might be just in my head.. but my senses felt so much sharper. Esp taste and smell. The best thing though was just the sense of well-being. My mind doesnt work very well with test that for sure :lol

The sense of well being and calmness is among many of the effects I've noticed since starting. Do you know when you should be starting?

 

[water_wendi]

The sense of well being and calmness is among many of the effects I've noticed since starting. Do you know when you should be starting?

Nope. My plans kinda went awry from job stuff. Might be awhile before i do it properly. When i was on them before it was self-medicating via internet pharmacy. The temptation to order again is so freaking strong though. i know i shouldnt though. i dont want to get moving forward only to cause myself horrible medical issues by not being under supervision.

edit:
i was also on herbals for a bit. Made a little bit of progress using them and a breast pump after a couple months. Decided that i should focus on getting in shape first. Dont want to get mishapen or anything :lol Since then ive come to be much more patient though. i know its said over and over about transitioning not being a race to a finish but a continual path.. but its very true.

 

[SovanJedi]

I never knew until now that "duvet" was more of a UK thing.

 

[NoRéN]

Just showing my support!

 

[lexi]

Nope. My plans kinda went awry from job stuff. Might be awhile before i do it properly. When i was on them before it was self-medicating via internet pharmacy. The temptation to order again is so freaking strong though. i know i shouldnt though. i dont want to get moving forward only to cause myself horrible medical issues by not being under supervision.

Cardinal rule no. 1 is to not self medicate. It's better you are here to transition rather then die and leave an ugly corpse.

Devil's Advocate: In my unprofessional medical opinion which should probably not be followed, I don't there is serious risk in ONLY taking anti-androgens (Spironolactone 100mg a day). This is a major and beneficial boon, you can wait until you have supervision for the more dangerous estradiol, but I think you're safe with Spiro.

 

[water_wendi]

Cardinal rule no. 1 is to not self medicate. It's better you are here to transition rather then die and leave an ugly corpse.

i know. ive had a couple friends that are no longer here because of it. i dont want to become the woman i am just to die before i can live.

edit:

Just showing my support!

<3s to you and everyone else that has done so. It might not seem like much but it really means a lot.

 

[water_wendi]

Devil's Advocate: In my unprofessional medical opinion which should probably not be followed, I don't there is serious risk in ONLY taking anti-androgens (Spironolactone 100mg a day). This is a major and beneficial boon, you can wait until you have supervision for the more dangerous estradiol, but I think you're safe with Spiro.

i have considered spiro alone. Its original purpose was acne right? As much as id like to.. and how taking spiro by itself is likely safe.. i dont think i would be able to control myself :lol

Tons of other stuff ive considered.. even crazy stuff like burdizzo ive contemplated. i need to keep focus though. i dont want to do anything that would jeopardize my transition down the road.

 

[Android18a]

Cardinal rule no. 1 is to not self medicate. It's better you are here to transition rather then die and leave an ugly corpse.

Devil's Advocate: In my unprofessional medical opinion which should probably not be followed, I don't there is serious risk in ONLY taking anti-androgens (Spironolactone 100mg a day). This is a major and beneficial boon, you can wait until you have supervision for the more dangerous estradiol, but I think you're safe with Spiro.

Spiro... spirograph! I used to love that as a kid. Oh wait, spironolactone. That's good too

But yeah, I agree. Do things through the official channels where possible.

 

[wRATH2x]

Quilt/blanket. One of those things you put over yourself when you sleep. ^_^ Soft and warm.

Well that won't stop me

 

[NoRéN]

<3s to you and everyone else that has done so. It might not seem like much but it really means a lot.

I know what it can mean. This is why I try to show my support. I have had one friend in my life who was trans. I've always felt that lack of support led to her taking her ending her life.

Just know that there are people out there like us that are here to lean on.

 

[water_wendi]

I know what it can mean. This is why I try to show my support. I have had one friend in my life who was trans. I've always felt that lack of support led to her taking her ending her life.

Just know that there are people out there like us that are here to lean on.

Sorry about your friend.. and thank you again for the kind words and support.. /hugs!

 

[wRATH2x]

I know what it can mean. This is why I try to show my support. I have had one friend in my life who was trans. I've always felt that lack of support led to her taking her ending her life.

Just know that there are people out there like us that are here to lean on.

Sorry man.

Also I've never met a transsexual that I know of, but I knew there are some in Saudi Arabia. Hell I could tell you gals about them if you want.

 

[Android18a]

Well that won't stop me

Haha, I'm not that kind of girl :lol

 

[NoRéN]

Sorry man.

Also I've never met a transsexual that I know of, but I knew there are some in Saudi Arabia. Hell I could tell you gals about them if you want.

I also knew a Trans person(is that appropriate) back in school. Worked at the library. People were always gossiping and whispering behind her back. Always bugged me. She wasn't hurting anyone. She was just trying to live her life. My last year there I don't remember seeing here. it's a shame if she left because of all the ignorant people.

 

[wRATH2x]

Haha, I'm not that kind of girl :lol

I'll make you

I also knew a Trans person(is that appropriate) back in school. Worked at the library. People were always gossiping and whispering behind her back. Always bugged me. She wasn't hurting anyone. She was just trying to live her life. My last year there I don't remember seeing here. it's a shame if she left because of all the ignorant people.

Too bad, hope she's well.