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[water_wendi]

i know you guys who say you wont date are not meaning to be offensive, just honest. It is all just very frustrating though. Pretty much every single relationship ive had has never gone beyond the physical. That kind of thing happens to women too.. but it hurts because its not just sexual conquest but a kind of sexual curiosity that never had any intention of going further.

 

[NewGamePlus]

well, was thinking mainly of MTF people. I think i can just flat out say right now that I wouldn't date a ftm(and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to date me either). I'd be your bro, though!

No that's what I meant. You should use she to refer to MTF's and he to refer to FTM's. You could have said 'he or she' or they but just try and stay away from it. It is very dehumanizing.

 

[aoi tsuki]

For the non-trans people here: Would you date a trans-girl/guy? Or how would you respond if the person you'd been dating revealed they were trans after you'd been out a few times (and likely grown fond of already)? Would it change things for you, or would you find it irrelevant? Would you expect to be informed of your date being trans before you went out together, or wouldn't you mind if it came up later?

Curious as to how you guys think here. Sorry if this was asked and I missed it.

i'd be up for it, but i think the point at which she (assuming MtF) would be transitioning would be a large factor in the success of any such relationship. i'd definitely like some TG friends just for the perspective.

Regarding when to let the person know, Trannygirl15 has a video titled "How to get a straight boyfriend" that i agree with. i think letting them know after they've gotten to know you would be best. i think that's how i'd rather be told, instead of stating it before i got to know her, which would make it more of an issue than finding out later.

i'd add that if you go the letter route from Trannygirl15's video, send an email, probably from an account you get spam/junk sent to if you're cautious like me, and include a couple of links succintly explaining transgenderism.

 

[lexi]

I'm back from my outing! I had such a great time, and it was the first time I was actually out in a skirt. Previously I'd kept it to slacks, jeans, even shorts when I was feeling adventurous, but I took the big leap today!

ANDDDD when I arrived home two guys in their early 20s were sitting on a bench just outside my place. I nearly had a mini freak out, BUT I confidently approached, took the keys out of my purse and began unlocking my door, at which one of the guys said the typical sort of 'hey baby!' the other began singing 'everybody on the dance floor'. Wow. :3 Did I just attract leers?

 

[water_wendi]

I'm back from my outing! I had such a great time, and it was the first time I was actually out in a skirt. Previously I'd kept it to slacks, jeans, even shorts when I was feeling adventurous, but I took the big leap today!

ANDDDD when I arrived home two guys in their early 20s were sitting on a bench just outside my place. I nearly had a mini freak out, BUT I confidently approached, took the keys out of my purse and began unlocking my door, at which one of the guys said the typical sort of 'hey baby!' the other began singing 'everybody on the dance floor'. Wow. :3 Did I just attract leers?

Yay lexi

 

[Pop On Arrival]

No that's what I meant. You should use she to refer to MTF's and he to refer to FTM's. You could have said 'he or she' or they but just try and stay away from it. It is very dehumanizing.

oh, lol. I thought I did type "she" so i was kinda confused for a bit. Whoops.

 

[whitehawk]

May I ask why? Is it because you would feel deceived? What if you hadn't even kissed yet? What if instead of being trans the person told you they had HIV?

It's just that I am not interested in dating a trans gendered person. Finding out that my date is transgendered on the first date wouldn't be a big deal, but if you wait a while, yes, I will be very upset.

Why are you comparing HIV to being trans gendered? It's just that me and some others aren't interested in trans gendered people (for dating). Of course I would be mad if I found out someone I was dating had HIV, but that's irrelevant.

 

[Android18a]

Go Lexi, go lexi, go lexi!

 

[NewGamePlus]

It's just that I am not interested in dating a trans gendered person. Finding out that my date is transgendered on the first date wouldn't be a big deal, but if you wait a while, yes, I will be very upset.

Why are you comparing HIV to being trans gendered? It's just that me and some others aren't interested in trans gendered people (for dating). Of course I would be mad if I found out someone I was dating had HIV, but that's irrelevant.

I didn't mean to compare the two, it just popped into my head as something you might not want to bring up when you first meet someone. I'm just trying to understand if it's purely feelings of deception or homophobia or what.

And way to go Lexi!

 

[Cetra]

Yay Lexi! Skirts and Leers for the win! Glad you had a good time.

And Number 2, we will indeed.

 

[lexi]

So, yeah, this is the skirt I went out in. :3

*hides*

 

[Alfarif]

Sorry about the bumping. I was on my iPhone and didn't have a quick/easy way to combine all of those posts. LOL

For the non-trans people here: Would you date a trans-girl/guy? Or how would you respond if the person you'd been dating revealed they were trans after you'd been out a few times (and likely grown fond of already)? Would it change things for you, or would you find it irrelevant? Would you expect to be informed of your date being trans before you went out together, or wouldn't you mind if it came up later?

Curious as to how you guys think here. Sorry if this was asked and I missed it.

And this is where it gets complicated. How far along are we talking? I am a personality kind of person but when I'm looking at the world from a male perspective, stereotypical LOOKING females are the only people attractive to me. The more feminine, the more attractive. GGs with very masculine features aren't very attractive to me, and this is why. This is why I find TGs who are very far along, whether they've had the SRS or not, attractive. Downstairs, I'd prefer a little opening, but I can make due if need be. Especially if the person is upfront fairly early.

There's no clear defining "yes" or "no" for me. If everything feels feminine, yes, I will date. If there's too much masculinity, then no. But that goes for GGs as well. Then again, I'm married, so why should I even be answering this question. My wife is a girly girl, by the way. She wants to be cute every day, and I adore her for that.

I'm back from my outing! I had such a great time, and it was the first time I was actually out in a skirt. Previously I'd kept it to slacks, jeans, even shorts when I was feeling adventurous, but I took the big leap today!

ANDDDD when I arrived home two guys in their early 20s were sitting on a bench just outside my place. I nearly had a mini freak out, BUT I confidently approached, took the keys out of my purse and began unlocking my door, at which one of the guys said the typical sort of 'hey baby!' the other began singing 'everybody on the dance floor'. Wow. :3 Did I just attract leers?

Way to go, girl! Now I'm interested in these "non-flattering" progression pictures you were talking about. If you're attracting some eyes (and you had a couple in this thread based on your old avatar), you're definitely doing something right.

EDIT:

So, yeah, this is the skirt I went out in. :3

*hides*

Um... yeah, you look a little like one of my ex-girlfriends, so that was really freakin' weird and unnerving. You look good, though. Keep it up!

 

[Android18a]

So, yeah, this is the skirt I went out in. :3

*hotness*

*hides*

You look awesome. No wonder you got attention from the guys!

 

[NewGamePlus]

I don't know why you had a mini freak out, you look stunning.

 

[wRATH2x]

Oh I see how it is. Now I don't care even if you do look like Bruce Lee. :lol?

You can see my pic in the post your pics thread. And don't lie, you want me!

 

[Cetra]

I don't know why you had a mini freak out, you look stunning.

This. Totally this.

 

[wRATH2x]

And Lexi you look good, keep it up

 

[water_wendi]

lexi you look awesome girl

 

[wRATH2x]

i know you guys who say you wont date are not meaning to be offensive, just honest. It is all just very frustrating though. Pretty much every single relationship ive had has never gone beyond the physical. That kind of thing happens to women too.. but it hurts because its not just sexual conquest but a kind of sexual curiosity that never had any intention of going further.

Thats kind of it for me, I'm more curious and I am attracted to MtF's if they're hot. And like I said I wouldn't date one because it isn't what I'm looking for, and I'd be wasting me and her time.

Although I'm sure there are guys out there who would love to date and go the extra mile for you girls.

 

[Alfarif]

Thats kind of it for me, I'm more curious and I am attracted to MtF's if they're hot. And like I said I wouldn't date one because it isn't what I'm looking for, and I'd be wasting me and her time.

Although I'm sure there are guys out there who would love to date and go the extra mile for you girls.

It's not even so much "the extra mile." For me, a person is a person. I could fall for anyone if they had the right qualities to fall for, in the first place. Just, when it comes to the way someone looks, I prefer a girl, TG or GG, who is very feminine. I like petite, with curves, big, soft eyes, soft skin, etc. If a woman is too masculine, it doesn't do it for me, even if they're GG.

I can understand the kids thing. I think it doesn't affect me, because my wife and I are holding off until we're in our 30s anyway. That, and we consider adoption to be one of the most noble things a person could ever do in their life.

 

[NewGamePlus]

Thats kind of it for me, I'm more curious and I am attracted to MtF's if they're hot. And like I said I wouldn't date one because it isn't what I'm looking for, and I'd be wasting me and her time.

Although I'm sure there are guys out there who would love to date and go the extra mile for you girls.

I understand, it's just very disheartening.

 

[NoRéN]

For the non-trans people here: Would you date a trans-girl/guy? Or how would you respond if the person you'd been dating revealed they were trans after you'd been out a few times (and likely grown fond of already)? Would it change things for you, or would you find it irrelevant? Would you expect to be informed of your date being trans before you went out together, or wouldn't you mind if it came up later?

Curious as to how you guys think here. Sorry if this was asked and I missed it.

I don't think it would bother me. Why would/should it? I am a straight man who likes women and if the person I am dating is now a woman, there's no problem. If I am already hitting it off with this person, whether they were born a man or woman would not change the qualities which I already find attractive in this person.

 

[wRATH2x]

I like the idea of adoption, but I could never do it. The kid knowing I'm not his real parent could affect him, and I don' want that.

 

[Siebzehn50]

I understand, it's just very disheartening.

There were a couple of us that said we wouldn't have a problem with it. Take heart in that.

 

[Alfarif]

I understand, it's just very disheartening.

TGs have a major uphill battle. This is a war that won't be won for another hundred years, I fear.

I like the idea of adoption, but I could never do it. The kid knowing I'm not his real parent could affect him, and I don' want that.

The kid being in foster homes and bouncing from place to place every year until someone took pity on him (if they ever did) and adopted him, would be 100x worse. If you're not in the sweet spot of four or younger, your chances of being adopted are essentially halved every year.

 

[wRATH2x]

I understand, it's just very disheartening.

Well sorry for upsetting you

Next time we get it on, you dominate

 

[wRATH2x]

The kid being in foster homes and bouncing from place to place every year until someone took pity on him (if they ever did) and adopted him, would be 100x worse. If you're not in the sweet spot of four or younger, your chances of being adopted are essentially halved every year.

I know what you mean, and I support adoption and such.

But myself I could never do it, I might do a big brother like program. I like that, helping the kid out and such.

 

[Arde5643]

It's sad that some of those people who will date trans people sometimes do so because of their fetish for trans people.

Although, that brings up to mind, is that usually a problem with trans people in general? Dating people who have a fetish to trans people?

I can see that being very weird just because of the fetish thing.

 

[NoRéN]

It's sad that some of those people who will date trans people sometimes do so because of their fetish for trans people.

Although, that brings up to mind, is that usually a problem with trans people in general? Dating people who have a fetish to trans people?

I can see that being very weird just because of the fetish thing.

I did not even think of that possibility. As someone who once worked at a non-retail chain video store, all i can say is that ALOT of people have that fetish.

 

[wRATH2x]

It's sad that some of those people who will date trans people sometimes do so because of their fetish for trans people.

Although, that brings up to mind, is that usually a problem with trans people in general? Dating people who have a fetish to trans people?

I can see that being very weird just because of the fetish thing.

I don't really consider my attraction to some a fetish, more like being attracted to a hot chick. Its natural.

 

[Arde5643]

I did not even think of that possibility. As someone who once worked at a non-retail chain video store, all i can say is that ALOT of people have that fetish.

Hahhahaa...umm....yeah... still, how do you tell if the person you're currently dating has that fetish or not? :lol

It'll feel weird to date someone because he/she has a fetish to your gender.

 

[NewGamePlus]

It's sad that some of those people who will date trans people sometimes do so because of their fetish for trans people.

Although, that brings up to mind, is that usually a problem with trans people in general? Dating people who have a fetish to trans people?

I can see that being very weird just because of the fetish thing.

Yeah, I think Number 2 has already expressed her disappointment in this. It's a matter of being objectified.

 

[lexi]

It's sad that some of those people who will date trans people sometimes do so because of their fetish for trans people.

Although, that brings up to mind, is that usually a problem with trans people in general? Dating people who have a fetish to trans people?

I can see that being very weird just because of the fetish thing.

We get a lot of attention from the aptly named 'tranny chasers'. These are generally lecherous older men who don't even put up the pretense of romance and courtship and will approach and speak to you as if you'll just give it up in a microsecond.

 

[Alfarif]

I know what you mean, and I support adoption and such.

But myself I could never do it, I might do a big brother like program. I like that, helping the kid out and such.

I hope you don't think I'm attacking you. You're right to have your own opinions. Doing a big brother program goes a LONG way. I'll start big brothering when I hit 30 in 2 years because I think it's really important for young black kids to have older black males to look up to.

So you should mentor. It's equally as rewarding as adoption.

 

[wRATH2x]

I hope you don't think I'm attacking you. You're right to have your own opinions. Doing a big brother program goes a LONG way. I'll start big brothering when I hit 30 in 2 years because I think it's really important for young black kids to have older black males to look up to.

So you should mentor. It's equally as rewarding as adoption.

Nah its cool man. It would be understandable if you attacked me though.

 

[Alfarif]

Hahhahaa...umm....yeah... still, how do you tell if the person you're currently dating has that fetish or not? :lol

It'll feel weird to date someone because he/she has a fetish to your gender.

But is the fetish for pre or post OP? That's a distinction that needs to be made.

And everyone has a "fetish" ... sometimes it's just preference. I have a redhead "fetish," which is really just an attraction for girls with red hair.

 

[Naked Snake]

GAF has grown up, good stuff!

 

[Arde5643]

We get a lot of attention from the aptly named 'tranny chasers'. These are generally lecherous older men who don't even put up the pretense of romance and courtship and will approach and speak to you as if you'll just give it up in a microsecond.

That sucks.

But is the fetish for pre or post OP? That's a distinction that needs to be made.

And everyone has a "fetish" ... sometimes it's just preference. I have a redhead "fetish," which is really just an attraction for girls with red hair.

Ooooh, good point.

Judging from the state of the porn industry and NorEn's comment, my guess is the fetish is mostly for the "pre-op" variety.
so yeah, definitely no support from the fetish crowd towards actual romance or the eventual post-op future. Bah.

 

[NewGamePlus]

But is the fetish for pre or post OP? That's a distinction that needs to be made.

And everyone has a "fetish" ... sometimes it's just preference. I have a redhead "fetish," which is really just an attraction for girls with red hair.

I don't know, I think that is just that, a preference. A fetish is something that is depersonalized and actually interferes with emotional attachment.

 

[NoRéN]

But is the fetish for pre or post OP? That's a distinction that needs to be made.

And everyone has a "fetish" ... sometimes it's just preference. I have a redhead "fetish," which is really just an attraction for girls with red hair.

From what I got from the dvd covers, Pre-op.

I see what you mean. But, I don't think they were referring to older men who like to date TG individuals. I guess my best guess at an explanation is this: there was this episode of Mtv's True Life with people who were heavy and happy with their bodies. there was this one guy who was very large and he would meet up with guys he met online because those guys had a chub "fetish. the guy was looking for a serious relationship, while the guys he met just wanted to have sex with a large guy.

 

[Alfarif]

From what I got from the dvd covers, Pre-op.

I see what you mean. But, I don't think they were referring to older men who like to date TG individuals. I guess my best guess at an explanation is this: there was this episode of Mtv's True Life with people who were heavy and happy with their bodies. there was this one guy who was very large and he would meet up with guys he met online because those guys had a chub "fetish. the guy was looking for a serious relationship, while the guys he met just wanted to have sex with a large guy.

Ah, then, yes, you have a point. If you make it a point to go after some pre-op, or someone who will not go through with SRS, then that could definitely be labeled a fetish, unless it's just chance circumstance.

 

[NewGamePlus]

From what I got from the dvd covers, Pre-op.

I see what you mean. But, I don't think they were referring to older men who like to date TG individuals. I guess my best guess at an explanation is this: there was this episode of Mtv's True Life with people who were heavy and happy with their bodies. there was this one guy who was very large and he would meet up with guys he met online because those guys had a chub "fetish. the guy was looking for a serious relationship, while the guys he met just wanted to have sex with a large guy.

Yeah, that's what I mean. A preference is one thing, but a true fetish, even the ubiquitous foot fetish, will just put distance in the relationship. Imagine if you want to have sex and your partner just wants to play with your feet.

 

[Android18a]

Okay, so its easy to assume anyone who's "into" TG girls is a "tranny chaser", but what if someone is just genuinely TG-sexual?

Like, you've got "straight", "gay" and "bi"... is it a stretch to say that someone can be naturally attracted to trans girls or guys without it being a fetish? Just an honest love and appreciation of transguys and transgirls? Does liking pre-op t-girls really make it a fetish?

I think again it depends on individuals. Some guys might just genuinely want to marry and persue a lifetime relationship with a pre-op girl, because thats where their preference lies.

Everyone is different, so I don't think its fair to tar every "admirer" a "chaser". Transgenderism is just too new to the mainstream for it to be an accepted preference as yet, just as even being gay or bi is only really now becoming "normal".

 

[Alfarif]

Okay, so its easy to assume anyone who's "into" TG girls is a "tranny chaser", but what if someone is just genuinely TG-sexual?

Like, you've got "straight", "gay" and "bi"... is it a stretch to say that someone can be naturally attracted to trans girls or guys without it being a fetish? Just an honest love and appreciation of transguys and transgirls? Does liking pre-op t-girls really make it a fetish?

I think again it depends on individuals. Some guys might just genuinely want to marry and persue a lifetime relationship with a pre-op girl, because thats where their preference lies.

Everyone is different, so I don't think its fair to tar every "admirer" a "chaser". Transgenderism is just too new to the mainstream for it to be an accepted preference as yet, just as even being gay or bi is only really now becoming "normal".

This is kind of what I was getting at, but then I started thinking "What person would say 'NO I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU IF YOU DO SRS." ... then I wouldn't say it's so much TG-sexual, as you put it, but a fetish. Then again, as you said, it's still too relatively "new" for any real answer to come from this question.

 

[ajim]

Okay, so its easy to assume anyone who's "into" TG girls is a "tranny chaser", but what if someone is just genuinely TG-sexual?

Like, you've got "straight", "gay" and "bi"... is it a stretch to say that someone can be naturally attracted to trans girls or guys without it being a fetish? Just an honest love and appreciation of transguys and transgirls? Does liking pre-op t-girls really make it a fetish?

I think again it depends on individuals. Some guys might just genuinely want to marry and persue a lifetime relationship with a pre-op girl, because thats where their preference lies.

Everyone is different, so I don't think its fair to tar every "admirer" a "chaser". Transgenderism is just too new to the mainstream for it to be an accepted preference as yet, just as even being gay or bi is only really now becoming "normal".

I'm in the boat where I would love to date a pre-op TG. My interest in pre op TG isn't a fetish, it is a genuine attraction. It's unique, it's beautiful.

However, all the TG I know here in Melbourne work in the sex industry and dating one of them is out of the question.

There are a group of guys who just view TG as sex objects, but, that goes for all sexes, so, it can be ignored I guess. I also don't see a problem with being attracted specifically to pre-op TG like others are saying in the thread.

 

[NewGamePlus]

Okay, so its easy to assume anyone who's "into" TG girls is a "tranny chaser", but what if someone is just genuinely TG-sexual?

Like, you've got "straight", "gay" and "bi"... is it a stretch to say that someone can be naturally attracted to trans girls or guys without it being a fetish? Just an honest love and appreciation of transguys and transgirls? Does liking pre-op t-girls really make it a fetish?

I think again it depends on individuals. Some guys might just genuinely want to marry and persue a lifetime relationship with a pre-op girl, because thats where their preference lies.

Everyone is different, so I don't think its fair to tar every "admirer" a "chaser". Transgenderism is just too new to the mainstream for it to be an accepted preference as yet, just as even being gay or bi is only really now becoming "normal".

I don't think it's a stretch. Like I said, I think it just comes down to objectification. I think part of it is also that most transexuals don't want to be labeled as such and just be seen as normal.

 

[lexi]

Sorry if it seems like I was painting with a broad brush, I was really talking about a very specific group.

 

[Arde5643]

I don't think it's a stretch. Like I said, I think it just comes down to objectification. I think part of it is also that most transexuals don't want to be labeled as such and just be seen as normal.

Unfortunately, for most TGs to be "normal" (as normal as "normal" people are I suppose) this usually involves long hormone therapy and the expensive SRS procedures.

Hope I'm wrong with my assumption though and that TGs can be happy even before SRS and still be somewhat the same after SRS.
From what I've read in here, some TGs seem to put all of their baskets into SRS making things happy and right in their lifes unfortunately.

 

[NoRéN]

We get a lot of attention from the aptly named 'tranny chasers'. These are generally lecherous older men who don't even put up the pretense of romance and courtship and will approach and speak to you as if you'll just give it up in a microsecond.

So, how do you handle it when this happens? Can you tell when someone is just showing interest because your tg?

 

[water_wendi]

i think a big part of what drives the whole tg "fetish" thing is whats portrayed in the porn industry. What sane man believes that what happens with genetic girls in porno is the norm for relationships? Not many id think. However for the idea of transgirls though, a lot of guys seem to have this twisted ideal that mostly exists only in dvds or on websites as some kind of standard for our lives. Compound that with the number of our sisters that have been effectively pushed into the sex worker or porn industry. i honestly say i cant really blame the average man that thinks this, no matter how misguided their notions are.

im super tired and been watching episodes of Rome way past my bed time so im hoping im making some kind of sense :lol