NoRéN said:So, how do you handle it when this happens? Can you tell when someone is just showing interest because your tg?
You can pretty much tell when they start asking about your anatomy within 10 seconds.
NoRéN said:So, how do you handle it when this happens? Can you tell when someone is just showing interest because your tg?
that upfront? wow.lexi said:You can pretty much tell when they start asking about your anatomy within 10 seconds.
Yea there usually isnt much small talk with those types. Its very easy to tell because most dont really seem to think of you as a person.NoRéN said:that upfront? wow.
lexi said:So, My mother is admonishing me out for going out in 'such a short skirt'. :lol Mused that my sister went through the same phase.
Android18a said:For the non-trans people here: Would you date a trans-girl/guy? Or how would you respond if the person you'd been dating revealed they were trans after you'd been out a few times (and likely grown fond of already)? Would it change things for you, or would you find it irrelevant? Would you expect to be informed of your date being trans before you went out together, or wouldn't you mind if it came up later?
Curious as to how you guys think here. Sorry if this was asked and I missed it.
Hows it going?Amibguous Cad said:I'm dating a non op MtF right now No problem whatsoever!
Wrath2X said:Hows it going?
NewGamePlus said:Yeah, that's what I mean. A preference is one thing, but a true fetish, even the ubiquitous foot fetish, will just put distance in the relationship. Imagine if you want to have sex and your partner just wants to play with your feet.
Amibguous Cad said:I'm dating a non op MtF right now No problem whatsoever!
Amibguous Cad said:I have to take exception to the uniformly negative sense in which fetish is being used here, though. I think denigrating people for different sexual attractions is immoral. It's certainly shitty when people treat transgendered people as sex objects alone, and that it's really difficult to find someone to pursue an actual relationship with, but the problem there isn't fetish or an alternative sexual attraction, but people not treating their sexual partners as human beings.
Whoa bombshell!Himuro said:My ex is a post-op mtf.
She was the coolest gal I've ever met. Very feminine and girly (perhaps more so than most "natural" girls I know, who try their hardest to be as masculine or as aggressive as possible to usurp male authority).
Quite a looker as well.
She's the closest friend I have and honestly, if we could be together again in a more than friend's way, I'd do it.
What about me?Android18a said:You're a goodie =3
lexi said:So, yeah, this is the skirt I went out in. :3
*hides*
Tyrant_Onion said:I love it when people mistake me with a woman without crossdressing (never actually did it in public except for two times in kindergarten), is that happening to other Trans-Gaffers too?
Us DudeBro crew are pretty progressive aren't we?thetrin said:This past wednesday, I attended a fundraiser hosted by the nonprofit organization "Urban Peak", which serves homeless youth in Denver. The fundraiser in question is called "Maverick Thinkers", and each year honors an outstanding activist and donor who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to help struggling youth in Colorado, as well as one youth who has risen from homelessness and helplessness to a position of great strength and success.
This year, two youths were honored (as well as two activists). One of the youths was a man by the named of Jason Marquez, who was transgendered, born as a female. Despite coming from an upper middle class family and having stellar grades throughout high school, he eventually found himself on the street after revealing to his parents that he was, in fact, transgendered, and wished to be a man.
After being on the streets for a number of months, he came upon Rainbow Alley, an organization that has youth volunteers that help troubled Denver youth, where he met two of his best friends (who were at the fundraiser sitting at my table, there purely to cheer him on).
After his time with Urban Peak, he moved into transitional housing, found himself a job, and enrolled into Metro State College in downtown Denver, where he is now making stellar progress. His story really touched me, as he reminded me a lot of my childhood best friend who found himself at the age of 20 to be transgendered. My friend took a different path, and pretended that it was a phase so that he could get the financial support he needed to finish college.
The fact that Jason had the courage to do what he did really wowed me. His speech at the event was also incredible, and it was a great chance for a well spoken youth to explain his life, and explain why transgendered youth are not some "phase", but a reality, and that they deserve the same respect, understanding and support as anyone else.
So yes. That's my story. Also, love and support for Tgaf from thetrin.
EatChildren said:I kind of put it up there with the highly sexualised gay stereotype. A few of my gay friends hate the image that is given to the male gay community, in that they're extremely sexual, always looking for dirty, rough sex, etc. For them it really hurts social perception of who they are, as even when they're very 'camp' in personality they're not the super horny, flamboyant, sexualised image that is often seen in the media.
Adoption?Himuro said:Well, for one thing, marriage is something not remotely on my mind right now. However, the discussion of children came up often.
shidoshi said:Those are very tough feelings to deal with, when at the same time you want to fully support somebody in what they are doing, but also feel some level of regret over the connection that person has with you in the greater thoughts of society.
Siebzehn50 said:What have been the reactions from friends/family?
EatChildren said:Exactly, and thats why I mentioned the whole social treatment and the way it affects a person, especially the support they're given.
Even though they're being themselves and letting their colours shine, so to speak, their manner of doing so is almost a cry for help in itself. If, much like yourselves, they're a woman trapped in the body of a man, they've probably got no coping mechanisms and haven't developed any means of understanding who they are and growing.
Its why they're often older people. They've probably struggled with these feelings their whole life with absolutely zero proper support, and finally...cracked. Like being trapped in a cage your whole life and then being let out, you're going to be a bit socially retarded and unable to cope with the rest of the world in a healthy way. Finally free to be who they want to be after never having the chance, its like all those years of frustration, confusion, and depression explode at once.
The same can be said about any inner conflict for any kind of people, of course. I guess I'm trying to say that no matter how hard it is (not that I could ever truly understand the extent), its wonderful that so many of you have grasped this now and are attempting to truly understand yourselves and grow in the way you want to. You're the kind of cases that lead to a future society understanding and accepting you as people, opposed to the sadder cases seen in others.
shidoshi said:I am utterly disgustedby how stupidly hot and skinny you are and by how jealous I am.
When I was in junior high, I was at a female friend's birthday party. I think it might have been like 15 girls and then me. There was an older neighbor lady who showed up, and for whatever cosmic reason made it a point to single me out and mention how "cute of a little girl" I was. Part of me was of course embarrassed, because obviously the entire group of girls burst out into laughter over that, but the other part of me was secretly happy from the comment. *laughs*
Amibguous Cad said:This is something that I see a lot with rape victims as well, and I think it's really unhelpful. Empathizing with the trauma someone's gone through is helpful, of course, but reducing someone to essentially victim status, a point after which they've "cracked," merely serves to dehumanize them, justify treating them poorly, and places an unsurmountable barrier between us and them.
Your empathy is laudable, but don't let it get in the way of respecting someone's autonomy as a free human being.
Himu its seems like you do something nice without noticing all the time, that gives me an idea for a show.Himuro said:The other month I was in a suit shop picking up some new dress shoes.
A guy was in the way, so I said,"Excuse me, brother." because that's how I address fellow black males, and went back to my seat to try on another box of shoes. I saw him light up like a light bulb.
His mother comes up to me and says,"She loves it when people do that, thank you."
And I just sat there confused.
Wrath2X said:Anyone who feels bad should listen to this.
I think it might help you gals somewhat, I thought Queen was the best way to show my support.
Wrath2X said:Has there ever been that really close male friend, whether he's your best friend or not, who you were afraid o tell for various reasons? And how was his reaction?
Dice said:1) Gender traits are entirely a social construct, and boy/girl could have anything you want associated with it, it is just a matter of perspective and preference.
2) I am [Gender A] in a [Gender B] body, and I have always had this strong affinity for [Gender A] before living it out and prefer being called [Gender A Pronoun]
Hey I'm not a dick, well not some times.lexi said:I swore this going to be 'I want to break free' and was pre-rolling my eyes
Wrath2X said:Hey I'm not a dick, well not some times.
How ya like the song?
But everyone must love it!Tyrant_Onion said:Oh come on, everyone likes that song! :lol
Wrath2X said:I hope you girls don't mind me asking this:
Has there ever been that really close male friend, whether he's your best friend or not, who you were afraid o tell for various reasons? And how was his reaction?
Android18a said:For the non-trans people here: Would you date a trans-girl/guy? Or how would you respond if the person you'd been dating revealed they were trans after you'd been out a few times (and likely grown fond of already)? Would it change things for you, or would you find it irrelevant? Would you expect to be informed of your date being trans before you went out together, or wouldn't you mind if it came up later?
Curious as to how you guys think here. Sorry if this was asked and I missed it.
I just quickly want to say I wouldn't categorize power exchange or roleplaying relationships under what I was talking about even though they're part of the "fetish" scene, but that's just stupid semantics. I'm really happy for you two!Amibguous Cad said:I have to take exception to the uniformly negative sense in which fetish is being used here, though. I think denigrating people for different sexual attractions is immoral. It's certainly shitty when people treat transgendered people as sex objects alone, and that it's really difficult to find someone to pursue an actual relationship with, but the problem there isn't fetish or an alternative sexual attraction, but people not treating their sexual partners as human beings.
This has apparently happened to me even in high school, although they never talked to me directly about it. It was more like my girlfriend told me that so-and-so said that so-and-so thought you were a girl, and I think someone in her family mistook me for a girl once. :lol I did have long hair and was wearing eyeliner at the time, but I thought I was offsetting it with button-up shirts and ties, apparently not. Anyways, I was very secretly happy about it but it kind of upset my girlfriend...Tyrant_Onion said:I love it when people mistake me with a woman without crossdressing (never actually did it in public except for two times in kindergarten), is that happening to other Trans-Gaffers too?
When I decided to come out, it took me like three weeks to tell my best friend. I told him I had something important to tell him and he had to bring it up about three times before I was finally able to tell him. That was despite the fact that I didn't think he would have a problem with it. He ended up being totally understanding, albeit rather surprised. He then helped me come out to a second friend (who was also totally cool, and we all ended up spilling some secrets for a couple hours), but the craziest thing happened with the third friend I told.Wrath2X said:Has there ever been that really close male friend, whether he's your best friend or not, who you were afraid o tell for various reasons? And how was his reaction?
Android18a said:For the non-trans people here: Would you date a trans-girl/guy? Or how would you respond if the person you'd been dating revealed they were trans after you'd been out a few times (and likely grown fond of already)? Would it change things for you, or would you find it irrelevant? Would you expect to be informed of your date being trans before you went out together, or wouldn't you mind if it came up later?
Curious as to how you guys think here. Sorry if this was asked and I missed it.
Fox, you so just stole my post. <3Fox the Sly said:Yes, I would. I've said before that I have an appreciation for trans women in addition to natural-born women (including sexual attraction). If it takes a few dates for me to realize she is trans then that speaks volumes to her "passability."
My whole thing is, I don't care if she's born male female or a flying monkey, if she is intrinsically female, looks, dress, and carries herself as one then she's no different from a natural-born woman to me. And because I see her as a woman it's still a straight relationship. I just love women, I don't care what she has between her legs. :lol
You'd just as soon suck a girl's dick as you would eat a girl out? That smells a bit like false nonchalance. I mean, if you have a particular admitted fetish one way or both ways I can understand that, but it seems you're trying really hard to fit said preference into something more rigid and hetero-normative than it really is ("I'm still straight!").Fox the Sly said:My whole thing is, I don't care if she's born male female or a flying monkey, if she is intrinsically female, looks, dress, and carries herself as one then she's no different from a natural-born woman to me. And because I see her as a woman it's still a straight relationship. I just love women, I don't care what she has between her legs. :lol
border said:You'd just as soon suck a girl's dick as you would eat a girl out? That smells a bit like false nonchalance. I mean, if you have a particular admitted fetish one way or both ways I can understand that, but it seems you're trying really hard to fit said preference into something more rigid and hetero-normative than it really is ("I'm still straight!").