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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)

J

Jamie xxoo

Member
Subprime said:
I was wondering how ubiquitous the genital aspect of reassignment surgery is. Its always seemed to me looking in from the outside as fruitless, given that it doen't really produce a completely functional piece of machinery (not to put it too calously), though I imagine less so for MTF than FTM. I don't exactly understand the motivation to do it.
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I can't have kids and I dont have periods, but in every other aspect it's functionally the same as my girlfriend's who I was having sex with for 2 months before I told her I was trans. Nothing about my genitals clued her in on it before I told her. It smells, tastes, looks and acts comparably (can't really say "the same" as no two vaginas are).
 
F

Femmeworth

Banned
Jamie xxoo said:
I can't have kids and I dont have periods, but in every other aspect it's functionally the same as my girlfriend's who I was having sex with for 2 months before I told her I was trans. Nothing about my genitals clued her in on it before I told her. It smells, tastes, looks and acts comparably (can't really say "the same" as no two vaginas are).
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Damn.
 
E

Emitan

Member
I should grow my hair out, but I wouldn't know what to do with it because I can't style it without raising suspicion.

shadyspace said:
Has there ever been any research done on why trans women tend be lesbian in larger numbers than the average female population?
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This is a good question.
 
L

lexi

Banned
shadyspace said:
Has there ever been any research done on why trans women tend be lesbian in larger numbers than the average female population?
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I think this is only anecdotally true. I haven't seen any statistics that would lead me to believe otherwise.

Although perhaps trans women being predisposed to the LGBT community allows them to be more inclined toward lesbian relationships.

I should grow my hair out, but I wouldn't know what to do with it because I can't style it without raising suspicion.
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You can grow your hair out surreptitiously if you wish, there are a lot of ways to disguise growing hair. Ask your hairdresser about layering your hair, and that you want to grow your hair out. If you can stomach it, it's also beneficial if you have a hairdresser you can trust with telling them you're trans, that way they won't ruin months of progress in several snips of the scissor. (Trust me on that one)
 
F

Femmeworth

Banned
Billiechu said:
I should grow my hair out, but I wouldn't know what to do with it because I can't style it without raising suspicion.
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I always have my hair in a ponytail.
lexi said:
You can grow your hair out surreptitiously if you wish, there are a lot of ways to disguise growing hair. Ask your hairdresser about layering your hair, and that you want to grow your hair out. If you can stomach it, it's also beneficial if you have a hairdresser you can trust with telling them you're trans, that way they won't ruin months of progress in several snips of the scissor. (Trust me on that one)
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I don't know who to trust in my area, so my hair hasn't been touched by scissors in almost three years. >_>
 
B

Boogiepop

Member
God I love getting randomly referred to by the "wrong" gender. Still not even close to out, just been casually growing out my hair, shaving body hair regularly, etc so it's not too common, but a when I was out to dinner the other night and the waitress came up and said "are you ladies ready to order." Such a nice feeling.

Of course whenever it happens they apologize and "correct" themselves, but the good is already done. :)
 
M

mollipen

Member
shadyspace said:
Has there ever been any research done on why trans women tend be lesbian in larger numbers than the average female population?
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Well, so what makes us heterosexual or homosexual? I think with that question still not fully understood, it makes answering this question hard.

If we separate gender identity from sexuality, then if you're born male, it seems like you'd have a far higher likelihood of being attracted to women than men. From there, it's a question of if that attraction has root in "genetics", social upbringing, sticking with what you know, or so on.

I don't know this for a fact, but I've heard a few time that it's about 50/50 for somebody who transitions from male to female to change their sexual preference. If that attraction to women comes from hormones and whatnot (the burning need to "sow your seed" drawing you toward women), then going from male hormones to female hormones could very easily switch that. Or, you have somebody who may have originally been attracted to men, not felt like that was right, hid those feelings, yet now feels okay to explore that once they identify as female.

On the other hand, though, you could also come up with equally strong reasons for a trans woman being a lesbian. The internal struggle against masculinity inside of themselves ends up also having external affects as well, that initial attraction to women as a man sticking with them, etc.

So—it's very complex! That'd be my opinion. *laughs*



Boogiepop said:
God I love getting randomly referred to by the "wrong" gender. Still not even close to out, just been casually growing out my hair, shaving body hair regularly, etc so it's not too common, but a when I was out to dinner the other night and the waitress came up and said "are you ladies ready to order." Such a nice feeling.

Of course whenever it happens they apologize and "correct" themselves, but the good is already done. :)
Click to expand...

Last year, I was on vacation, and I was having breakfast at the small diner attached to the hotel. The waitress we had identified me as female (I wasn't even beginning to try to present that way), and no matter how many times she looked straight at me, she kept doing so. When we were up at the register paying, I handed the woman at the register my ID and credit card. Our waitress walked past, and said, "You gals have a wonderful day now!"

The cashier looked at her, looked at me, and had one of the most bewildered looks on her face that I've ever seen.
 
F

Femmeworth

Banned
Billiechu said:
Yeah, I don't know what to do. Let's start the clubhouse and learn how to cut hair!
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Sounds like a pla-
sKd7n.gif

Then again...
Boogiepop said:
God I love getting randomly referred to by the "wrong" gender. Still not even close to out, just been casually growing out my hair, shaving body hair regularly, etc so it's not too common, but a when I was out to dinner the other night and the waitress came up and said "are you ladies ready to order." Such a nice feeling.

Of course whenever it happens they apologize and "correct" themselves, but the good is already done. :)
Click to expand...
It's even better when they don't realize that they are mistaken, though I blush like crazy.
 
I

InfiniteNine

Rolling Girl
Billiechu said:
I should grow my hair out, but I wouldn't know what to do with it because I can't style it without raising suspicion.
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I actually never had this problem since I got into Heavy and Thrash Metal in high school and started wearing the metal uniform~! So long hair on me isn't unusual to people really since I've had my hair long for years. *Gives Billie some Judas Priest and Iron Maiden CDs*
 
D

Dead Man

Member
lexi said:
I think this is only anecdotally true. I haven't seen any statistics that would lead me to believe otherwise.

Although perhaps trans women being predisposed to the LGBT community allows them to be more inclined toward lesbian relationships.
Click to expand...
I think it also may be a reflection of female same sex attraction being more diverse socially. Many more women will say they have had some sort of same sex attraction than men.
 
E

Emitan

Member
InfiniteNine said:
I actually never had this problem since I got into Heavy and Thrash Metal in high school and started wearing the metal uniform~! So long hair on me isn't unusual to people really since I've had my hair long for years. *Gives Billie some Judas Priest and Iron Maiden CDs*
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Up the irons!

Maybe I should get back into metal. I was the biggest Metallica fan back in high school and wanted to grow my hair out.
 
G

Gaborn

Member
Femmeworth said:
You know what I mean. -_-
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There is a MASSIVE difference between consensual S&M and wife beating is I think what you meant. People of any gender can have a wide range of tastes for how they're treated but someone who enjoys some level of degradation should always guard against someone who just likes to abuse their partner. It should be about doing something that is enjoyed by both parties.
 
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