Support NeoGAF

[unholyrevenger72]

I see the bolded part a lot, and I strongly disagree with it. The high GPA shows that information was learned well, retained, and applied.

Not really just means the students earned enough points for an A. For example in eleventh grade my math teacher pulled me aside and said she wouldn't have to flunk me on tests if i just showed my work because she knows i know the content and i'm not cheating as i was in the first class of the day. I gave her the option on how she wanted to flunk me. She could A.) flunk me for not showing my work or B.) Flunk me for only completing half the Test because i write real slow deliberate.

 

[And_Gignac]

All this sad story left me is that I had wonderful parents that I should appreciate more.

 

[USC-fan]

Wtf

Sure that the daughter version of the story. A lot doesn't make any sense.

 

[Stet]

Your anecdote means nothing. You might have a learning disability (some form of dyslexia). It's not a measure of your intelligence necessarily, but it sounds like you do have a problem.

You could have had your parents apply for extra test time to accommodate for your disability. They do do that.

It's also possible that particular teacher may have not been giving enough time for students to take their tests.

Regardless of the reason, grades are a standard method of assessing information retention and familiarization. The fact that you, personally, struggled with your grades, does not mean that grades are no longer useful.

*edit: I feel that I should add, I had terrible grades. As long as someone doesn't go to a shitty school when you can get As for just showing up, grades do a pretty good job of determining how much effort you put into learning something.

There is a lot of contention academically about the effectiveness of grades to convey information, or even to provide adequate feedback. Maybe at the 4.00+ level they make sense, since obviously the kids aren't struggling, but below that telling a kid or his parents that he got a B- doesn't tell him anything except the amount of information he got right on a test or assignment.

 

[mullet2000]

Toronto resident here. It's been very interesting how many of my Asian friends have had I kind of "I can see how this could happen" response to this story. Not in that they literally want to kill their parents too or something, just in that they understand that type of upbringing and get how it could hit a breaking point.

It's sad. I know multiple people who grew up in "tiger parent" situations that now, at 23-24, absolutely hate their parents and want nothing to do with them. I have one friend who gets visibly upset when she sees anything in support of tiger parenting, like books about it at a book store or anything like that.

 

[Fuchsdh]

How many murderers and monsters are that way because of "tiger parents"?
All those "tiger parents" getting murdered by their own kids, it's a real epidemic...

I'd guess most probably just, you know, actually perform fairly well academically and get into universities, instead of flunking out of high school and deciding to fake their entire college careers and subsequently murder their parents when their elaborate web of lies inevitably falls apart.

Yeah I expected this story to be a poor high schooler who goes crazy and kills his parents in a leadup to admissions or something.

Instead it's a grown woman who essentially lied to her parents for the better part of a decade, failed to ever become self-sufficient, and did her best to ruin the lives of others who got tired of her, and then killed her parents in a pretty calculated manner.

At some point, I feel confident laying the responsibility on the woman.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

Ugh. Horrible story.



RIP parents....

I can relate to her background, having Asian parents who emphasis academic achievements myself, but I would never ever entertain the thought of harming my parents. Ugh. I just feel ill thinking about this story and I wanna hug my parents right now

 

[SystemBug]

Yep. Tiger parenting sucks.

I did similar things as this girl like changing my report cards. Always got caught though since my dad was too smart for that shit.

Now I'm just a depressed mess who hates his life

I still love my parents. They sacrificed a lot to get me here. I just wish I could live up to their expectations.

But more importantly I wish I could learn to love myself

Spoiler

well that got real

 

[rtcn63]

I'd guess most probably just, you know, actually perform fairly well academically and get into universities, instead of flunking out of high school and deciding to fake their entire college careers and subsequently murder their parents when their elaborate web of lies inevitably falls apart.

Not everyone can get the grades necessary to get into great schools, particularly the elite ones their crazy parents desire. And yeah, it's the culture. Lying about going to college and killing them was to her, probably less of an insult than not being the loyal overachieving daughter they wanted. Which sounds entirely illogical and fucked up, but gives you an idea of what tiger parents can do to your head.

But still, she's a murderer and likely deserves whatever fate she gets. There's too much premeditation and attempts at covering up to ignore.

 

[Stet]

/shrug

We could debate grades all day, just like we could debate what it means to be intelligent all day.

I'm sure there are very intelligent people that did poorly in school and still are able to make a difference in the world.

I would be very, very surprised if most of the people that work in labs researching pharmacological breakthroughs, people that work for the government designing and implementing new policies, and people working on furthering technological advancements, were poor students that only barely made passing grades for that subject in school. I don't want a doctor that repeatedly got Cs in med school. I don't want a lawyer that barely passed the bar and went to some T-200 school.

It's quite possible people in the 2.0~2.7 GPA average are all relatively close to each other in terms of how much they know about a particular subject. For the most part, though, someone that really knows a subject and has put in many, many hours studying it, will probably be able to do well on a test about that subject.

Why is the "real world" just doctors and lawyers?

 

[USC-fan]

Yep. Tiger parenting sucks.

I did similar things as this girl like changing my report cards. Always got caught though since my dad was too smart for that shit.

Now I'm just a depressed mess who hates his life

I still love my parents. They sacrificed a lot to get me here. I just wish I could live up to their expectations.

But more importantly I wish I could learn to love myself

Spoiler

well that got real

Just have kids. That all you got to do.

Not even joking.

 

[Kieli]

Edit: This story is extremely fucked up.

Tiger parents are fucking toxic. Toxic.

I'm glad my parents are chill and willing to let me do my thing.

 

[SystemBug]

/patpat. I feel you, but hey, you are your own person .

(If you're Asian, you should come join us at Asian GAF )

I'd totally join you guys but I'm a different kind of Asian lol

 

[rtcn63]

I don't know about that...........

Maybe I've been watching too much Law & Order. But I've seen many Southeast Asian parents completely fuck up their kids, leading them to become violent gangsters, suicidal, etc. The level of control they can apply, and how it twists the children's perception of how to deal with even minor problems. The parents and the culture become God, and well, you just can't disappoint the smite-happy Almighty.

And yeah, there's no guarantee they weren't in need of mental help to begin with. Also, telling your parents that you might be crazy pretty much guarantees a verbal/physical shut down. If they believe you at all.

 

[Quick]

Toronto resident here. It's been very interesting how many of my Asian friends have had I kind of "I can see how this could happen" response to this story. Not in that they literally want to kill their parents too or something, just in that they understand that type of upbringing and get how it could hit a breaking point.

It's sad. I know multiple people who grew up in "tiger parent" situations that now, at 23-24, absolutely hate their parents and want nothing to do with them. I have one friend who gets visibly upset when she sees anything in support of tiger parenting, like books about it at a book store or anything like that.

Toronto Asian resident here. This story hits home a little, in the sense that I've seen "tiger parenting" with some of my other Asian friends. I was in a brief relationship where my girlfriend kept me a secret from her parents, and upon meeting them, they instantly hated me purely because I was dating their daughter.

One of my Asian friends went to the same high school as her, apparently, and I know that the high school is prominent for an even larger focus on academics than your normal TCDSB high school.

Most of my Asian friends have either been born in Toronto/Canada or adapted into the lifestyle well, so their parents weren't so hard on them.

 

[unholyrevenger72]

Your anecdote means nothing. You might have a learning disability (some form of dyslexia). It's not a measure of your intelligence necessarily, but it sounds like you do have a problem.

I don't have a learning disability, i learn just fine and faster than most people. I just write slow

You could have had your parents apply for extra test time to accommodate for your disability. They do do that.

writing slow isn't a learning disability

It's also possible that particular teacher may have not been giving enough time for students to take their tests.

not really, essay exams also kill me academically not because of intellectual reasons, my mind is just faster than my hands.

Regardless of the reason, grades are a standard method of assessing information retention and familiarization.

which is a fundamentally broken premise because every one is different.

The fact that you, personally, struggled with your grades, does not mean that grades are no longer useful.

Grades are rendered useless by the basic premise they're built on.

If you had been granted additional time on your math tests to show your show, you would have been fine (according to your story, in which you knew the material but did not have enough time to show that you did).

If i had been granted more time it's no longer standard or fair to the other students just because i write slow

*edit: I feel that I should add, I had terrible grades. As long as someone doesn't go to a shitty school when you can get As for just showing up, grades do a pretty good job of determining how much effort you put into learning something.

This isn't true either, people will bury themselves in their studies but still come up mediocre grade wise. Then there are assholes like me, who just show up, pay attention in class, don't study and get good grades (previous examples excluded)

 

[meltingparappa]

I find it vaguely deplorable and possibly vaguely racist that there's an implied attempt by some of the reblogs I see on facebook to spin violent sociopathic behavior as having anything to do with overbearing asian parents.

 

[jakoh]

Yep. Tiger parenting sucks.

I did similar things as this girl like changing my report cards. Always got caught though since my dad was too smart for that shit.

Now I'm just a depressed mess who hates his life

I still love my parents. They sacrificed a lot to get me here. I just wish I could live up to their expectations.

But more importantly I wish I could learn to love myself

Spoiler

well that got real

I got caught in as well , atmosphere was nightmarish for a while in my house after that.

I agree with some of these poster who say its hard to break out of this cycle. Usually there isn't any malice involved on parent's side. They tend to think they are doing it for your own good. I've had this argument with my parents countless time when I was younger which always involved them saying "we are doing this for you".

Agree with second bolded part as well. It worked out for me in the end though as my grades improved and I now have a decent career.

 

[Kieli]

I feel sorry for Bich. She seemed to be fairly empathetic and understanding, trying to limit the damage that Hann was doing.

 

[mullet2000]

Toronto Asian resident here. This story hits home a little, in the sense that I've seen "tiger parenting" with some of my other Asian friends. I was in a brief relationship where my girlfriend kept me a secret from her parents, and upon meeting them, they instantly hated me purely because I was dating their daughter.

One of my Asian friends went to the same high school as her, apparently, and I know that the high school is prominent for an even larger focus on academics than your normal TCDSB high school.

Most of my Asian friends have either been born in Toronto/Canada or adapted into the lifestyle well, so their parents weren't so hard on them.

I was also in this situation. Except I dated the girl for 3 1/2 years.

After a short while I wasn't a secret anymore, but her parents ignored my existence as best as possible and over that entire relationship they didn't want to meet me. I never did see them in person other than at a distance when I drove her home if they were in the front yard or something.

 

[Quick]

I find it vaguely deplorable and possibly vaguely racist that there's an implied attempt by some of the reblogs I see on facebook to spin violent sociopathic behavior as having anything to do with overbearing asian parents.

That same friend I mentioned in my previous post made a Facebook post like this. He posted this story and immediately spun it around to make it about himself and how he's glad his parents aren't like that, and how he's connected to her because he saw her at school a few times, etc.

He takes every opportunity he can on Facebook to post his personal opinion against Asian culture, but Japanese culture is exempt because he loves Anime and Japan.

I was also in this situation. Except I dated the girl for 3 1/2 years.

After a short while I wasn't a secret anymore, but her parents ignored my existence as best as possible and over that entire relationship they didn't want to meet me. I never did see them in person other than at a distance when I drove her home if they were in the front yard or something.

When I met her parents, they had an angry chat with my ex in Chinese...in front of me. I just sat there and smiled like an idiot thinking "it definitely isn't about me....right?" (it was)

 

[LiveFromKyoto]

I wish more people in this thread were actually reading the article instead of just the portion of it quoted in the OP and then jumping to conclusions. There's some major shit covered in the article that's not mentioned in the OP (which is fine, he shouldn't have to paste the whole article) like:

The father survived
Her reasoning for going with the hit instead of just moving out (she and the boyfriend were going to live off the estate, worth about $500k)
The sanity question (lawyers didn't present her as unfit to stand trial - she was too obviously calculating throughout the whole thing)


On the question of tiger parenting - the evidence from psychological studies is pretty conclusive: it tends to produce people who are materially successful but unhappy and lacking a sense of individuation and self direction. But it doesn't produce murderers. This happened because of the daughter's own personality, she was obviously a deceptive person from early on.

 

[hipbabboom]

Tiger parenting sounds selfish as fuck... it's literally trying to SIM (or grind) success using your kids. I've heard of parents who have that mindset of "Children don't need love, they just need to be successful!" That's fucked up way to raise a child still its no reason for murder.

 

[PeskyToaster]

Her parents fucked up but she was fucked up too. Deserves whatever punishment she gets. These angsty teens are getting crazy.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

I have very strong feelings on parenting but this is not the thread for it.

 

[Africanus]

Tiger parenting sounds selfish as fuck... it's literally trying to SIM (or grind) success using your kids. I've heard of parents who have that mindset of "Children don't need love, they just need to be successful!" That's fucked up way to raise a child still its no reason for murder.

Tiger parenting, although often misguided, does stem from love many times.

Many of these parents grew up in impoverished countries, or lands devastated by natural disasters, dictatorships, or civil war (as in Vietnam). They come to America to provide their child/children a life where they won't struggle, and success is the "great equalizer" in a sense for races.

I recognize these factors because my own Nigerian immigrant parents practiced a similar method of parenting, driving me towards success. There was pressure yes, but I never felt completely constricted as this girl, nor did I feel the need for forgery and lying about grades. That's where the story shifts from the fault of tiger parenting, to some of this young woman's own struggles.

 

[LiveFromKyoto]

Tiger parenting sounds selfish as fuck... it's literally trying to SIM (or grind) success using your kids. I've heard of parents who have that mindset of "Children don't need love, they just need to be successful!" That's fucked up way to raise a child still its no reason for murder.

Asian societies and the West tend to operate on a lot of different basic assumptions. One of which is that you do what's best for society, not what's best for you. Hence the ethic of working as hard as humanly possible. Face and status also matter a lot - your grades, university and job don't just reflect on you, they make a moral statement about your whole family and their willingness to sacrifice and act as proper, respectable members of society.

The other thing is that there's a warped perception of what it means to be {insert culture here}, both from outsiders and, frequently, members of that culture. Because it's often conscientious people with ambition who make it over to the West in the first place. There's no shortage of lazy underachievers in Asia who just shrug at all this stuff, they just tend to stay there. There are also plenty of people who are more artistic/free minded, or just don't have the edge in their personality to be like this.

And it's worth stating that there are plenty of Westerners who have their daughter practicing piano three hours a night too.

 

[Otakumegane]

My parents did this for a while, but then something bigger than that came up.

I got bullied to shit.

Luckily that sort of made them reevaluate their thoughts, move to a more Asian prominent area and put me in a better school where "fitting in" was getting good grades. (It's actually really funny, there's a separate clique for overachieving Asian kids that pretty much rule the nonsport school clubs, and all the White kids complain about them having too much power.)

Couple years later, while I may not gotten into my college of choice, I've been a mostly A student there and have a 3.8. I do wish sometimes I could have lived up to not only my parents' expectations but my own.
Mad props to my parents for realizing what was and wasn't working, I'm probably a happier person now. Though they still do apply pressure on me at times, it's a good kind of pressure that shows concern.


My sister jokes about it sometimes. If I had stayed the course and gotten into one of the Ivys before I had the bullying her life would suck right now because my parents would not have allowed her to go to art school. So that's a positive that came out of that.

 

[SolicitorPirate]

Why is the "real world" just doctors and lawyers?

Well, we as a class tend to have a disproportionate amount of influence on society. In only my 2nd year of my first job, I was working on model legislation that was eventually made into law. How many 24 year olds can say they had influenced the law of the land?

That said, the tiger parent drive to "succeed" in such a manner needs to die out. I won't pretend and say the money and influence that comes from high performance careers isn't something, but its only great for the people who actively want that life. Parents giving their child no other alternative can greatly harm the child.

And for people who are wondering why a 24 year old woman was so incapable of independence from her parents; thats exactly what this type of parenting does to you. It helicoptor parenting to a degree that it makes it impossible to imagine a life free of the authority of your parents.

 

[Kieli]

On the question of tiger parenting - the evidence from psychological studies is pretty conclusive: it tends to produce people who are materially successful but unhappy and lacking a sense of individuation and self direction. But it doesn't produce murderers.

Well said.

Throughout all of this, I find it unfortunate that it was Bich to lose her life. She seemed the only person of sound reason in all this chaos.

Edit: I also want to add that tiger parenting is particularly insidious because it involves roughly 2 decades of extreme emotional, physical, and mental abuse from persons of particular influence and power over the abused. Might I add some of the most formative and important development years of an individual's life?

When you have been molded by the start to be this puppet that brings fame and prestige and "face" to your parents, it's very difficult to escape from it. You have to understand that most of these tiger parents are so close-minded, selfish, and petty that to rebel against them is essentially tantamount to renouncing family relations ("get the fuck out of my house" sort of situation). If you want to tell 'em to fuck off with their tiger parenting, you have to be willing to pay the high price of severing a relationship with them (even if temporary). After 2 decades, I would be surprised if you possess enough individualism, pride, and confidence to do so.

I also strongly agree with several above posts. The best results you can hope for are:

a) Successful individual who is well-adapted, socially. These individuals would have been successful without your shit parenting, anyway. (rare)
b) Materially successful, but unhappy and likely to struggle in social situations. (common)
c) Individuals with a sense of autonomy. Rebel early from the imposed restrictions. Likely at the expense of it being detrimental to their success than if they had been left alone. (uncommon)

 

[JPLMD]

I see the bolded part a lot, and I strongly disagree with it. The high GPA shows that information was learned well, retained, and applied. Applying the information poorly (or not learning it at all) would lead to a lower GPA. On top of this, in order to attain a perfect GPA, you also have to perform well in your breadth/general education classes, which often include at least a few classes--such as literature or writing--where the scoring is subjective and yet you still apply what you learn well enough to score well.

Tiger parenting is a problem, though, but I honestly think this particular case has less to do with that and more to do with the girl handling pressure in a bad way. Most children of tiger parents don't kill their parents.

I had a 3.9 GPA in college, went to med school, and realized that it meant nothing. Most of my peers in med school were sub 3.5 GPA, barely scraped by through college, but all score consistently better and perform better than I or any of my other fellow 4.0ers on evals in the clinic and in residency. A lot of that has to do with them actually "understanding" the information before and never making that same mistake again. They integrate concepts and take the time to actually LEARN instead of reading/memorizing every word in a textbook. They may have had a 3.5 GPA then, but in the grand scheme of things, because they sacrificed their grades for better understanding of the material, they ended up "on top." That compounded with strong social communication/interaction skills made them excel far more than all of us who just studied 16 hours a day in a dimly lit room.

Not to completely disagree with you, you have a point. I wouldn't have been accepted into my program if I didn't have the scores, but there's a "baseline" that just needs to be reached and any extra effort after that? Honestly don't see the value in it. Time and time again, I have yet to see a real life example of someone who excels so well academically, sacrificing literally everything for the sake of a letter grade, ever being TRULY successful career wise (wealth, fame, happiness, lifestyle, etc)

 

[SRG01]

I was in a brief relationship where my girlfriend kept me a secret from her parents, and upon meeting them, they instantly hated me purely because I was dating their daughter.

My ex kept me as a secret for almost half a year as well. I think it shocked her that her parents actually liked me... which ironically caused her a lot of emotional stress as well.

Just have kids. That all you got to do.

Not even joking.

I've seen a lot of tiger-parented kids become amazing parents with the most well-behaved children I've ever seen.

But then again, I've also seen a lot of tiger-parented kids turn into complete assholes as parents too... probably because they're unconsciously emulating what they've been raised with.

 

[Eos]

fucking speechless. this story is crazy.

 

[Emperor_Uriel]

Hey parents, let your kids have lives.

Hey kids, don't have you parents murdered.

 

[dhlt25]

tiger parenting sucks. I have faked my report card as well and got caught. Faking report card is prob much more common than you'd think with asian kids.

 

[CadetMahoney]

The term Tiger parent sounds dumb to me. There should be a better term for it.

This is a very specifically Asian phenomenon though, but I've never seen it go anywhere as far as this.

I'm not Asian, but anyone got any more info/feedback on this?

Seems to me like it's brushed under the carpet and lack of acknowledgment by society so it only adds to the problem.

 

[CSX]

tiger parenting sucks. I have faked my report card as well and got caught. Faking report card is prob much more common than you'd think with asian kids.

Had tiger mom. Pushed me very hard on academics throughout elementary and middle school. Beat my ass repeatedly for bad grades during those school years along with usual disciplinary problems.


Never went as far as faking report cards but I remember trying to forge my mom's signature for some assignment. I was thinking "I'm about to get a zero on such a stupid easy assignment. My mom is going to kill me and throw my corpse out the front door!" I was panicking and getting paranoid over morals and shit and eventually erased my bad attempt ( I didnt know signatures were meant to be done in pen at the time lol). Thankfully my teacher gave me a extra day to get the signature but my mom saw my forging attempt because I didn't erase it completely. Instead of the usual yelling, beating my ass, making me bawl , etc....she confronted me, gave me the eyes of death, and told me that what I tried to do was illegal and to never try it again.

Years later, this topic came up and she told me the reason why she didnt beat my ass for it was because she knew I realized my mistake and tried to fix it.

 

[Syriel]

*edit: I feel that I should add, I had terrible grades. As long as someone doesn't go to a shitty school when you can get As for just showing up, grades do a pretty good job of determining how much effort you put into learning something.

Grades are a great test of memorization, but a poor test of learning. That's a big part of the reason why top colleges don't rely solely on grades and test scores for admission.

Most genius+ IQ folks aren't going to have perfect grades because they're going to be bored out of their minds.

I had a 3.9 GPA in college, went to med school, and realized that it meant nothing. Most of my peers in med school were sub 3.5 GPA, barely scraped by through college, but all score consistently better and perform better than I or any of my other fellow 4.0ers on evals in the clinic and in residency. A lot of that has to do with them actually "understanding" the information before and never making that same mistake again. They integrate concepts and take the time to actually LEARN instead of reading/memorizing every word in a textbook. They may have had a 3.5 GPA then, but in the grand scheme of things, because they sacrificed their grades for better understanding of the material, they ended up "on top." That compounded with strong social communication/interaction skills made them excel far more than all of us who just studied 16 hours a day in a dimly lit room.

This.

 

[GorillaJu]

Talked to my mom about this story, and my mom's first reaction was-- what a bad kid!

Haha. Not surprising, since my parents are also Asian immigrants and, to some varying degrees, also did what this girl's parents did. My mom thinks that the parents didn't do anything wrong (obviously) and feels sorry for only them.

This girl's story mirrors the story of one of my close high school friends, almost exactly. Crazy pressure in school, not allowing her to have a cell phone, monitoring what she did, no going out, no hanging with friends. Her parents didn't like me because I was a "bad kid" (and no, not in a partying or ditching school way.. I was in AP and honors and band, but I ALSO played too many video games and had a boyfriend. That was terrible, apparently.)

The girl also ended up dropping out of college, running away with her boyfriend, etc. The only difference is that she eventually decided she didn't want to go down that path, and had to go back to Asia for school (since she got kicked out of school here in the US).

This is why, to a certain extent, I think that tiger parenting is so dangerous. When it works, it works (most of my friends went to Ivy League schools or top public schools like UCB, UCLA), but when it doesn't work... kids usually end up worse off than ever (dropping out of school).



Exactly.



It's about a collective culture versus an individual culture.

It would have been okay in a culture that is collective... everyone would be like that and you, essentially, wouldn't feel any different because that's just how it is... but when you bring that kind of culture here, to a country where individualism is celebrated.. it's bad. The kid usually suffers the most because s/he is being raised in a collective manner, but sees all the freedom that an individual culture has.

The breaking point here seems to be that her parents treated her differently than the way her peers were treated, and that kind of juxaposition exacerbates the resentment and anger.



Not really. I lied to my parents about my grades in a similar manner as she did. I actually got really good at faking my transcripts, even in college. In the end it didn't matter because I still got into a respectable graduate program and I'm actually doing surprisingly well now, so I guess there's no harm done .


*edit: & might I add that, even though I fucked up my grades a lot and my parents were still like hers at times, I always knew that everything they did was out of love. Misguided, but still out of love. Tiger parenting only occurs when your parents give a shit about you, and I'd rather have parents that were super hard on me than parents that didn't give a fuck. Obviously, there's an "ideal," but expecting every pair of parents to be ideal is rather stupid, so .. ionno, I'm just grateful that my parents love me, and that's how I choose to view my childhood. They did their best, I shouldn't and don't hold it against them, and I'm not perfect so there's no reason to expect them to be, either.

I don't think tiger parenting "works". It's a bad form of parenting that results in unhappy children who grow up resenting their parents. And I think even those who have great accomplishments still hate their parents and consider their success in spite of them, not because of them.

I didn't go to any great academic feats myself but most of my friends went to Ivies, UCSD, UCLA or UCB, and none of our parents were tiger parents. You can set expectations, be encouraging and set your child's life up for success without being a controlling psychopath.

 

[tell yourself.]

yep was in a similar situation to her, you just start lying to your parents, there is no other option.

 

[Onemic]

I have tiger parents. Shit sucks.

 

[TAJ]

I have nothing but contempt for tiger parents, while I can occasionally manage some positive feelings about murderers.

When it works, it works (most of my friends went to Ivy League schools or top public schools like UCB, UCLA), but when it doesn't work... kids usually end up worse off than ever

You could get into UC with a D average in high school (or even a GED, I think) by completing transfer requirements in community college when I was that age. Don't know what it's like now.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

I have nothing but contempt for tiger parents, while I can occasionally manage some positive feelings about murderers.

...... *scratches head* not sure if serious.jpg

 

[Viridian6]

“I hope my daughter Jennifer thinks about what has happened to her family and can become a good honest person someday.”

Bit sad that the father never acknowledged his role in messing up his daughter, as far as the article goes. And it was the more caring mum who died

That said it was a really twisted thing to do to your own parents. Her "boyfriend" was a scumbag as well.

 

[Stinkles]

Tiger parenting is a problem and certainly they helped create some of what their daughter became, but she could have walked out at any time. She had the wherewithal to organize a complex assassination with multiple participants - she could have left home at any time.

 

[Marty Chinn]

Tiger parenting is a problem and certainly they helped create some of what their daughter became, but she could have walked out at any time. She had the wherewithal to organize a complex assassination with multiple participants - she could have left home at any time.

I don't think that's true. Leaving home would mean directly dealing with the parents which is hard for Asian kids to do under such an environment. Doing a complex assassination is much easier because they're not directly confronting the parents, and in fact she's avoiding dealing with them by having someone else deal with them for her. I don't think it's so easy to say she could have left at any time.

 

[Bleepey]

http://tinyurl.com/psk6mfd

Her being arrested.

 

[LiveFromKyoto]

I don't think that's true. Leaving home would mean directly dealing with the parents which is hard for Asian kids to do under such an environment. Doing a complex assassination is much easier because they're not directly confronting the parents, and in fact she's avoiding dealing with them by having someone else deal with them for her. I don't think it's so easy to say she could have left at any time.

"Hard for Asian kids to do..." come on. Once again, people should read the article before making blanket statements like that - this woman was 24 years old, and she didn't just have others do it, she was right there.

She went through all the logistics and failed steps the article outlines to murder her parents, she faced the emotional weight of anticipating all that and being present when they were bound and shot in their own home. And she planned it out so she could sell off the estate and live free with her boyfriend.

That's hard to do. This woman was the lead conspirator in a multiple (attempted) murder, full stop.

 

[SapientWolf]

I don't think that's true. Leaving home would mean directly dealing with the parents which is hard for Asian kids to do under such an environment. Doing a complex assassination is much easier because they're not directly confronting the parents, and in fact she's avoiding dealing with them by having someone else deal with them for her. I don't think it's so easy to say she could have left at any time.

She could have left without saying a word. She was over 18. Unless I missed the sarcasm, in which case, well done.

 

[cwmartin]

If you don't have any experience with it, why do you think you can still talk about what it results in? I mean, how can you honestly say that it results in <x>, despite not knowing that many people with those parents?

The same way that other people study rocks, psychology, the stars, fish, or volcanoes. You can understand things without being them or a product of them.

I'm not saying the poster you were responding to necessarily can claim this, but to say you can't speak on a topic if you haven't experienced it seems a bit misguided.