I'll tell you what Eevee gives us, ladies and gentlemen, and its something that Lapras never could. Eevee gives us a narrative. When we, the poor unwashed masses, pour our hopes and dreams and adulations and sorrows into this great game, we are but mimicking that cruellest of stories which is life. In life, not everything is buttercups and daisies. The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley - but without those depths, without the despair, the struggle, the torment, the pain; well, we wouldn't have the pinnacle, the catharsis, the triumph, the ecstasy. Lapras represented the mechanical option, the brutal utilitarian calculus of efficiency - about as human as a knife to the heart. We're more than that. We embrace what it is to be human, and understand that it's not always about what's efficient, or quickest, or easiest: the joy is in the journey. When I look to Eevee, I see that journey. I see choice, the divergence of paths that we may determine for ourselves. I see a great aspiration, that we may one day better ourselves and realise our full potential. I see a better world, and one we should strive towards. There are those who cast doubt upon those words, who throw petty scorn - and they failed - you failed - for a reason. You failed because in your whinging rebuke, you let go of the narrative. You let go of your ability to influence the story, your input into this little world. So busy with your mewling spite and hatred, your penitence must be to suffer the consequences. Those consequences are that this story is now ours.
#TeamEevee