In olden times, back when there were only 152 Pokemon, a young boy named RED started his journey with nothing more than a few voices in his head. He was given guidance in the form of ABBBBBK(, whose fiery tail lit the way like a candle-light. And so RED found his way through the dark woods and into the bright world. He defeated a stone-cold tyrant, recruited a fledgling, and eventually wandered to the heart of a great mountain. There he met the creator and the destroyer, the spiral of life and the smooth sheen of death. Both offered their services.
The boy chose wisely.
RED and his companions grew strong, recognizing the voices as the song of the Helix. Along the way they found new friends: The midnight comedian, the decadent exorcist, the samurai with a name, and even the now thrice-cursed underminer. The team conquered roaring seas, thunderous storms, perilous cliffs, angry hikers, and even a cavern eternally blanketed in the Dome's dark underbelly.
But RED didn't make it out of that cave unscathed. As he entered the bright and beautiful Celadon metropolis, some new murmers pierced the holy hymn, whispering of a new prophet who would even surpass Blessed Pidgeot. At first he ignored the voices, determined to cut through the malignant foliage that had wrapped around a temple of the Helix. And when that was done, the siren song drew him to the top of a great tower.
ABBBBBB( by that point was old and weak; its body had been broken by the previous toils. The salamander knew that its role was finished, that its former pupil Pidgey had become a mighty warrior, and that RED now thought of it as a burden. Yet the moment it saw the glass-eyed Eeevee, it realized doom was upon them. It remembered that they needed one more warrior to take them across the ocean, and now a trickster was in its place. They had to make space, and there was only one place they could do that.
Coddled by his new "friend" and unable to comprehend the furious words of Helix, RED walked to the edge of a yawning chasm. This was the PC, the gate to both hell and limbo. He questioned the false prophet if his Pokemon would be safe there, and it only nodded and smiled. And with that confirmation, Red cast Pidgeot into the abyss. We would have lost our greatest hero if but not for ABBBBBB( and Jay Leno, who threw themselves in after it. The two unleashed the last of their energy to toss Pidgeot back to the heavens, and then quietly perished.
RED lost two Pokemon that day. Bitter and angry, the Helix followed ABBBBBB('s example and bided its time, and now it has struck great vengeance.
