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Valve's fake, rigged, waste of time Progress Quest troll Portal 2 ARG

T

TheExodu5

Banned
The Lamonster said:
I haven't been keeping up with things in the last couple days. Are Steam users getting Portal 2 early or what?
Click to expand...

We're getting it at the same time as console players are getting it, on the 19th.

At least the potato countdown is a cool way to end it.
 
M

Mad Max

Member
The depletion rate has increased a bit since half an hour ago or so, I calculated 12,5 hours until release then, and about 10 now.
 
L

LordPhoque

Banned
I'm so tired of this bullshit. My hype is decreasing as time passes. Fuck you Gabe for this lame trolling. Worst game launch EVER. Who gives a crap about potatoes and ARG. JUST GIVE US THE DAMN GAME ALREADY. And yes, I mad.
 
C

clav

Member
So if you look at these two variables at the source code carefully:

var g_originalEstimate = 70737 + ( Math.round( new Date().getTime() / 1000 ) );
var g_updatedEstimate = 50921 + ( Math.round( new Date().getTime() / 1000 ) );
Click to expand...


var g_originalEstimate = Original countdown.

var g_updatedEstimate = New countdown.

Someone is controlling this variable as you notice there is an arbitrary number listed in there as solid numbers are listed in seconds (3600 seconds in an hour). Do the math if you don't believe me.

The numbers 70737 and 50921 should be changing as those were mine at the time of writing this message.

tl;dr Valve will release Portal 2 within 24 hours.
 
K

kamspy

Member
WHY DID WE ALL GET SO MANY POTATOES???????????????

I'd be thrilled with just a 8:00PM EST launch. Give me a couple hours at least Gabe. Don't make me go operate heavy machinery with no sleep, fueled only by rage and cocaine.
 
A

ahoyhoy

Unconfirmed Member
The Lamonster said:
I haven't been keeping up with things in the last couple days. Are Steam users getting Portal 2 early or what?
Click to expand...

This thread is not a good place for casual readers to stumble in right now. Please come back when the pottato dust clears.
 
T

The Omega Man

Member
after the potatos reach cero the real countdown will appear, even Kojima will be amazed at valve's teasing capabilities.

kamspy said:
I guess I'll need to score some cocaine and just pull an all nighter. Fuck my job anyways.
Click to expand...

dude you are on a roll keep them coming, I am laughing here at work.
 
U

Ultrabum

Member
Mr. Spinnington said:
best case scenario is an unlock when the first test subject finishes

game is 6-7 hours?
Click to expand...

"Pre-release lethality assessment initiated..." seems to suggest that it may be based on how the 9 players do? Maybe how many times they die before they beat it?
 
S

Stop It

Perfectly able to grasp the inherent value of the fishing game.
TheExodu5 said:
Alright, so the math brings it to exactly (and I mean exactly) a 12AM EST release.

You guys still saying this wasn't rigged from the very start?

Still, PORTAL 2 TONIGHT OH MY GOD!

I took the day off work tomorrow.

edit: wait...maybe that's exactly a 1AM EST release...
Click to expand...
It also means I cannot count :) (I was banking on Valve using their local PST and more importantly, accelerating the bloody countdown!)

12am EST is 5am for me, so I don't think I'll stay awake for this one!
 
T

TheExodu5

Banned
Mad Max said:
The depletion rate has increased a bit since half an hour ago or so, I calculated 12,5 hours until release and about 10 now.
Click to expand...

Alright, so it'll probably end up lining up for a 12AM EST release after all. I'm guessing that's the earliest they're allowed to release it.
 
C

Campster

Do you like my tight white sweater? STOP STARING
TheExodu5 said:
Alright, so the math brings it to exactly (and I mean exactly) a 12AM EST release.

You guys still saying this wasn't rigged from the very start?

Still, PORTAL 2 TONIGHT OH MY GOD!

I took the day off work tomorrow.

edit: wait...maybe that's exactly a 1AM EST release...
Click to expand...

Regardless, it is hardly an "early" release considering the number of hoops we've had to go through. And yeah, there was definitely a target release date from the get-go.
 
S

Spookie

Member
fuckingpotatoeshowdotheywork.gif

I've given up trying to work out on how this madness works. Though I have to admit it is amusing to see it reignite all the tin foil hat theories. If this unlocks when those potatoes hit 0 fantastic. If not, well it just means I'll have to play it after work at this point.
 
W

wotter

Member
What's happening :eek:

10:50 - Engaging starch-based power cells
11:00 - Reboot safety test protocol initiated...
11:00 - Relaxation chamber locks released...
11:00 - Involuntary hazard mitigation associates have assumed testing positions...
11:00 - Pre-release lethality assessment initiated...
 
C

Cindres

Vied for a tag related to cocks, so here it is.
Would it be possible that the potatoes removed are being added to a different variable, and that THAT is the multiplier?
 
S

StuBurns

Banned
Until now I literally never even made the connection between potatoes and a power source, did everyone else know this and I just never read it/am an idiot?

potatoclock.jpg
 
T

TheExodu5

Banned
claviertekky said:
So eh, as much as to be excited about, someone's manipulating this.

tl;dr Valve will release it when they feel like it within the next 24 hours.
Click to expand...

That's been pretty clear from what we've seen these past few days.

I've been saying it like a broken record. It just amazed me that people could be blinded to this.

LordPhoque said:
I'm so tired of this bullshit. My hype is decreasing as time passes. Fuck you Gabe for this lame trolling. Worst game launch EVER. Who gives a crap about potatoes and ARG. JUST GIVE US THE DAMN GAME ALREADY. And yes, I mad.
Click to expand...

For some reason the potato coutndown has reinitiated my hype. It's giving me a clear indication of when to expect something tangible.

At least we see now that the individual game completion bars means shit all. Shit all.
 
D

dollartaco

Member
Ok, so, are the potatoes:

A) Overclocking the individual game CPU bars

B) Supplementing the main bar

C) Not doing anything at all until they are all consumed

Only option C means potato collecting was counterproductive.
 
C

clav

Member
TheExodu5 said:
That's been pretty clear from what we've seen these past few days.

I've been saying it like a broken record. It just amazed me that people could be blinded to this.
Click to expand...
Assuming that the potato consumption is at the same rate as it is and that the game releases when the potato count = 0, I will predict that approximately 10.5 hours from now unless something changes.
 
S

Sn4ke_911

If I ever post something in Japanese which I don't understand, please BAN me.
XeroSauce said:
The countdown timer is moving faster then normal, is it not? Or am I crazy?
Click to expand...

I don't think so. After the potato counter is on zero then i believe GLaDOS will overclock the CPU's and shit gets released.
 
B

badcrumble

Member
dollartaco said:
Ok, so, are the potatoes:

A) Overclocking the individual game CPU bars

B) Supplementing the main bar

C) Not doing anything at all until they are all consumed

Only option C means potato collecting was counterproductive.
Click to expand...
It's unlocking at 12 AM EST and the whole 'potatoes' thing is pure nonsense and a hilarious troll because this whole thing is incredibly opaque and impossible to interpret and/or predict.
 
T

TheExodu5

Banned
dollartaco said:
Ok, so, are the potatoes:

A) Overclocking the individual game CPU bars

B) Supplementing the main bar

C) Not doing anything at all until they are all consumed

Only option C means potato collecting was counterproductive.
Click to expand...

D) It doesn't matter what we would have done up until this point, Valve would have fudged the math to launch the game precisely when they had planned to launch it.
 
T

Twig

Banned
TheExodu5 said:
That's been pretty clear from what we've seen these past few days.

I've been saying it like a broken record. It just amazed me that people could be blinded to this.
Click to expand...
Yep. You have. :D
 
C

Cindres

Vied for a tag related to cocks, so here it is.
Ok i'm sure i can see the G-Man's face after that picture, probably just trying to convince myself too hard though.

But i definitely saw the potato counter start decreasing faster!
 
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