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Valve's fake, rigged, waste of time Progress Quest troll Portal 2 ARG

J

JaseC

gave away the keys to the kingdom.
Jintor said:
Ah, I know your pain.

I found best strategy to do Medium Pro, head for oranges in slow sections, head for blues in fast sections, hit every cube. It's not essential but it means you have a far smaller chance of accidentally walling off the bottom half of your screen.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've been doing that. It helps, sure, but as yet it hasn't been enough. :p
 
Zomba13

Zomba13

Member
The progress bars are based on sales made. The more times a certain game has been bought, the more you have to play it to unlock it.

For example, 1 2 3 KICK IT! was released at (nearly) the same time as the pack, so it has the fewest sales making it easier to complete.

Killing Floor and Audiosurf were out for longer and as such have had more sales, so they require more hours to complete.

According to Dougley, Potatos still matter. Get them.

The Store should keep a record of how many times a certain game has been bought, so we need to go find that and order which games we should play based off that.
Click to expand...

Don't know if this was posted yet.
 
J

Jintor

Member
It weighs the case so heavily against Audiosurf and Killing Floor and other popular games though. Not all of those dudes buying it are going to bother with the ARG
 
E

evlcookie

but ever so delicious
Looks like 1 2 3 got a kick up the ass, About half way there now. Looks like those actually participating are working as a community and focussing down game by game.
 
C

Cindres

Vied for a tag related to cocks, so here it is.
The current order of taking them down on the IRC is:
1. TWEOTW (Done).
2. 1..2..3 Kick It! (In progress)
3. AAaaaAA!
4. Rush.
5. BIT.TRIP BEAT
6. Toki Tori
7. Cogs
8. The Ball
9. Audiosurf
10. Amnesia
11. Super Meat Boy
12. Defense Grid
13. Killing Floor

Though personally i'd have put Cogs as the next one after 123 juding by the current state of the bars...
 
S

StuBurns

Banned
Right now that countdown thing say fifty minutes ahead of time, is that true at the moment? I'd hate to be the company that gets thousands of people to waste all this electricity to give them a game an hour early.
 
Zomba13

Zomba13

Member
StuBurns said:
Right now that countdown thing say fifty minutes ahead of time, is that true at the moment? I'd hate to be the company that gets thousands of people to waste all this electricity to give them a game an hour early.
Click to expand...
We're 26.5% of the way to release. The main thing to focus on is the big launch bar and not the projected launch time (that is the time the game will launch if the bar wasn't completed before the timer hit 0)
 
M

matrix-cat

Member
StuBurns said:
Right now that countdown thing say fifty minutes ahead of time, is that true at the moment? I'd hate to be the company that gets thousands of people to waste all this electricity to give them a game an hour early.
Click to expand...
The counter went down 50 minutes when The Wonderful End of the World's bar filled up, so we're all assuming that every game that gets completed will knock another chunk out of the countdown. We have no idea whether they're all going to be 50 minutes or something completely different, though, and likely won't know until 1,2,3 Kick It's bar fills up in a few hours.
 
J

JaseC

gave away the keys to the kingdom.
Oh man, The Ball's Portal content is brilliant. I should probably save its potato for the end.
 
Zomba13

Zomba13

Member
Code: 
javascript:(function(){var el=document.createElement('div'),b=document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0];otherlib=false,msg='';el.style.position='fixed';el.style.height='32px';el.style.width='220px';el.style.marginLeft='-110px';el.style.top='0';el.style.left='50%';el.style.padding='5px 10px';el.style.zIndex=1001;el.style.fontSize='12px';el.style.color='#222';el.style.backgroundColor='#f99';if(typeof jQuery!='undefined'){msg='This page already using jQuery v'+jQuery.fn.jquery;return showMsg();}function getScript(url,success){var script=document.createElement('script');script.src=url;var head=document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0],done=false;script.onload=script.onreadystatechange=function(){if(!done&&(!this.readyState||this.readyState=='loaded'||this.readyState=='complete')){done=true;success();script.onload=script.onreadystatechange=null;head.removeChild(script);}};head.appendChild(script);}getScript('http://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.3/jquery.min.js',function(){msg='This page is now jQuerified with v'+jQuery.fn.jquery;(function(){var space=' ';var current_pourcent=parseInt($('#overall_progress_bar').css('width').replace('px',''))*100/494;$('#overall_progress_ctn').append('<h2 style="display:block;position:relative;top:-50px;left:80px;color:gray;">Progress:'+space+current_pourcent.toFixed(3)+'%</h2><br/><br/>');var now=(Math.round(new Date().getTime()/1000));var g_endTimeLocal=g_originalEstimate;var old_time=g_endTimeLocal;g_updatedEstimate=Math.round(now+(3600*(100/current_pourcent)*(((now+338400)-g_endTimeLocal)/3600)));var timeArray=new Object();timeArray["game_row_18500"]=450000;timeArray["game_row_1250"]=1200000;timeArray["game_row_26500"]=65000;timeArray["game_row_38720"]=50000;timeArray["game_row_38700"]=50000;timeArray["game_row_63700"]=60000;timeArray["game_row_15540"]=50000;timeArray["game_row_12900"]=300000;timeArray["game_row_15500"]=30000;timeArray["game_row_40800"]=350000;timeArray["game_row_57300"]=300000;timeArray["game_row_15520"]=60000;timeArray["game_row_35460"]=120000;var playingtotal=0;var hourstotal=0;var hourslefttotal=0;var potatoes=parseInt($('#potato_count').text().replace(/\D/g,''));$('.game_row').each(function(){var playing=parseInt($(this).find('.game_cpus').text().replace(',','').replace(space+'CURRENT CPUS',''));if(isNaN(playing))return;playingtotal+=playing;var hours_elapsed=(((now+338400)-old_time)/3600).toFixed(3);var spent=playing*hours_elapsed;var owners=Math.round(459/parseInt($(this).find('.game_progress').css('width').replace('px;',''))*playing);var total=Math.round(spent*(457/parseInt($(this).find('.game_progress').css('width').replace('px;',''))));var eta=timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]-((Math.round(playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]);eta=(eta/playing)/(potatoes/100000);hourstotal+=(((playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]);hourslefttotal+=timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]-(((playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]);oldtext='<br/>'+$(this).find('.game_cpus').text().replace(space+'CURRENT CPUS','');oldtext+=space+'('+(((playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]).toFixed(2)+space+'H/'+timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]+'~'+space+'Hours'+')'+space+'('+Math.round(playing*100/owners)+'%)'+space+'ETA:'+space+eta.toFixed(3)+space+'Hours left@curr.rate';$(this).find('.game_cpus').html(oldtext);});$('#console_inner').append('09:01'+space+'-'+space+'Potatoes multiplier:'+space+(potatoes/100000).toFixed(2)+'<br/>');$('#console_inner').append('09:01'+space+'-'+space+'Currently saving:'+space+((old_time-g_updatedEstimate)/3600).toFixed(3)+space+'Hours<br/>');var estimatedhoursleft=(hourslefttotal/playingtotal)/(potatoes/100000);g_updatedEstimate=now+Math.round(estimatedhoursleft*3600);var newDate=new Date();newDate.setTime(g_updatedEstimate*1000);var dateString=newDate.toUTCString();$('#console_inner').append(newDate.toLocaleString()+space+'(Your timezone)'+space+'-'+space+'Portal 2 released<br/>');})();return showMsg();});function showMsg(){el.innerHTML=msg;b.appendChild(el);window.setTimeout(function(){if(typeof jQuery=='undefined'){b.removeChild(el);}else{jQuery(el).fadeOut('slow',function(){jQuery(this).remove();});if(otherlib){$jq=jQuery.noConflict();}}},2500);}})();

Latest java thingie for the GLaDOS page. First one that has actually worked for me. Shows 59 hours till release at current rate.
 
G

gifife

Member
Did anyone join the group I linked to at the top of the page?? You really do get a potato...

Edit: Anyone that tries, confirm that it does work so everyone else will do it also.
 
R

reptilescorpio

Member
gifife said:
Did anyone join the group I linked to at the top of the page?? You really do get a potato...

Edit: Anyone that tries, confirm that it does work so everyone else will do it also.
Click to expand...
It has already been posted several times.
 
J

JaseC

gave away the keys to the kingdom.
I FINALLY GOT THE BLOODY ELUSIVE STARCH-FILLED PIECE OF CRAP. I am never playing Audiosurf again.

I have never been more proud of myself. :p

Others who haven't had much luck, keep at it. If I can do it, you can do it!
 
S

Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew

Banned
Zomba13 said:
Code: 
javascript:(function(){var el=document.createElement('div'),b=document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0];otherlib=false,msg='';el.style.position='fixed';el.style.height='32px';el.style.width='220px';el.style.marginLeft='-110px';el.style.top='0';el.style.left='50%';el.style.padding='5px 10px';el.style.zIndex=1001;el.style.fontSize='12px';el.style.color='#222';el.style.backgroundColor='#f99';if(typeof jQuery!='undefined'){msg='This page already using jQuery v'+jQuery.fn.jquery;return showMsg();}function getScript(url,success){var script=document.createElement('script');script.src=url;var head=document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0],done=false;script.onload=script.onreadystatechange=function(){if(!done&&(!this.readyState||this.readyState=='loaded'||this.readyState=='complete')){done=true;success();script.onload=script.onreadystatechange=null;head.removeChild(script);}};head.appendChild(script);}getScript('http://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.3/jquery.min.js',function(){msg='This page is now jQuerified with v'+jQuery.fn.jquery;(function(){var space=' ';var current_pourcent=parseInt($('#overall_progress_bar').css('width').replace('px',''))*100/494;$('#overall_progress_ctn').append('<h2 style="display:block;position:relative;top:-50px;left:80px;color:gray;">Progress:'+space+current_pourcent.toFixed(3)+'%</h2><br/><br/>');var now=(Math.round(new Date().getTime()/1000));var g_endTimeLocal=g_originalEstimate;var old_time=g_endTimeLocal;g_updatedEstimate=Math.round(now+(3600*(100/current_pourcent)*(((now+338400)-g_endTimeLocal)/3600)));var timeArray=new Object();timeArray["game_row_18500"]=450000;timeArray["game_row_1250"]=1200000;timeArray["game_row_26500"]=65000;timeArray["game_row_38720"]=50000;timeArray["game_row_38700"]=50000;timeArray["game_row_63700"]=60000;timeArray["game_row_15540"]=50000;timeArray["game_row_12900"]=300000;timeArray["game_row_15500"]=30000;timeArray["game_row_40800"]=350000;timeArray["game_row_57300"]=300000;timeArray["game_row_15520"]=60000;timeArray["game_row_35460"]=120000;var playingtotal=0;var hourstotal=0;var hourslefttotal=0;var potatoes=parseInt($('#potato_count').text().replace(/\D/g,''));$('.game_row').each(function(){var playing=parseInt($(this).find('.game_cpus').text().replace(',','').replace(space+'CURRENT CPUS',''));if(isNaN(playing))return;playingtotal+=playing;var hours_elapsed=(((now+338400)-old_time)/3600).toFixed(3);var spent=playing*hours_elapsed;var owners=Math.round(459/parseInt($(this).find('.game_progress').css('width').replace('px;',''))*playing);var total=Math.round(spent*(457/parseInt($(this).find('.game_progress').css('width').replace('px;',''))));var eta=timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]-((Math.round(playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]);eta=(eta/playing)/(potatoes/100000);hourstotal+=(((playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]);hourslefttotal+=timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]-(((playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]);oldtext='<br/>'+$(this).find('.game_cpus').text().replace(space+'CURRENT CPUS','');oldtext+=space+'('+(((playing*100/owners)/100)*timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]).toFixed(2)+space+'H/'+timeArray[$(this).attr('id')]+'~'+space+'Hours'+')'+space+'('+Math.round(playing*100/owners)+'%)'+space+'ETA:'+space+eta.toFixed(3)+space+'Hours left@curr.rate';$(this).find('.game_cpus').html(oldtext);});$('#console_inner').append('09:01'+space+'-'+space+'Potatoes multiplier:'+space+(potatoes/100000).toFixed(2)+'<br/>');$('#console_inner').append('09:01'+space+'-'+space+'Currently saving:'+space+((old_time-g_updatedEstimate)/3600).toFixed(3)+space+'Hours<br/>');var estimatedhoursleft=(hourslefttotal/playingtotal)/(potatoes/100000);g_updatedEstimate=now+Math.round(estimatedhoursleft*3600);var newDate=new Date();newDate.setTime(g_updatedEstimate*1000);var dateString=newDate.toUTCString();$('#console_inner').append(newDate.toLocaleString()+space+'(Your timezone)'+space+'-'+space+'Portal 2 released<br/>');})();return showMsg();});function showMsg(){el.innerHTML=msg;b.appendChild(el);window.setTimeout(function(){if(typeof jQuery=='undefined'){b.removeChild(el);}else{jQuery(el).fadeOut('slow',function(){jQuery(this).remove();});if(otherlib){$jq=jQuery.noConflict();}}},2500);}})();

Latest java thingie for the GLaDOS page. First one that has actually worked for me. Shows 59 hours till release at current rate.
Click to expand...

Ahh! Thanks for the latest update. Finally I know how this shit works cause they added a little tidbit.

09:01 - Potatoes multiplier: 2.38
09:01 - Currently saving: -5.151 Hours
Monday, April 18, 2011 5:58:23 PM (Your timezone) - Portal 2 released

So every 100,000 potato counts as 1 multiplier. Since there are 238,000 potatoes: that's 2.38x multiplier. And I guess this has a correct time on how much we are currently saving and when it's destined to launch,
 
P

Palette Swap

Member
Only one potato to collect and it's the second AaAaAaa one, I can't play this game for shit. Using Xpadder, I've been using a controller and I've gotten better but I really suck at this game.
Any tips anyone?
 
E

epmode

Member
This promotion is a waste of electricity. Unless something changes soon, I'm going to try to cancel my pre-order and go with Amazon PS3.
 
B

Baha

Member
It seems things have slowed down a bit, we'll see if things change in a few hours when the people who left games idling overnight wake up and restart their games so the steam stats get updated.
 
D

dani_dc

Member
Zeouterlimits said:
Thank you :).
Even with clean finish I'd have been at least 100k short. Time to re-think this.
Click to expand...
I just focused on getting all companion cubes and orange blocks while skipping blue blocks unless there were no other blocks in sight.
 
E

epmode

Member
Baha said:
It seems things have slowed down a bit, we'll see if things change in a few hours when the people who left games idling overnight wake up and restart their games so the steam stats get updated.
Click to expand...
http://store.steampowered.com/stats/

We're approaching the daily high-point for Steam's numbers. It's not going to get much better unless the next completed bar drops the timer by 8 hours or something. Instead of 50 minutes.
 
P

Phandy

Member
shagg_187 said:
Ahh! Thanks for the latest update. Finally I know how this shit works cause they added a little tidbit.

09:01 - Potatoes multiplier: 2.38
09:01 - Currently saving: -5.151 Hours
Monday, April 18, 2011 5:58:23 PM (Your timezone) - Portal 2 released

So every 100,000 potato counts as 1 multiplier. Since there are 238,000 potatoes: that's 2.38x multiplier. And I guess this has a correct time on how much we are currently saving and when it's destined to launch,
Click to expand...

Depending on what the potatoes are multiplying. But that could mean that it will get quicker and quicker as the amount of potatoes goes up.
 
D

Doopliss

Member
shagg_187 said:
Ahh! Thanks for the latest update. Finally I know how this shit works cause they added a little tidbit.

09:01 - Potatoes multiplier: 2.38
09:01 - Currently saving: -5.151 Hours
Monday, April 18, 2011 5:58:23 PM (Your timezone) - Portal 2 released

So every 100,000 potato counts as 1 multiplier. Since there are 238,000 potatoes: that's 2.38x multiplier. And I guess this has a correct time on how much we are currently saving and when it's destined to launch,
Click to expand...
The multiplier seems like (yet more) baseless speculation, unless you know of calculations proving that there actually is one.
 
A

Azure Dream

Member
I actually got AaAaAA's. For some reason it seemed a lot longer from the outside. Threading the Needle bonus and turning off the sound really helped too.

I guess that means I've got some Killing Floor, Cogs, and a bit of 1, 2, 3 Kick It to go.

Oh, and Amnesia.
._.
 
C

Cindres

Vied for a tag related to cocks, so here it is.
Finally got the 1 from DG and the 1 from Audiosurf, so i have all the potatoes i can get, don't really feel like getting any of the other games. Though i do kinda want Amnesia...
 
B

butter_stick

Banned
Aaaahhhhhh's was a nice challenge. Took me about an hour to get them both. Audiosurf was a bitch, I spent about 2 hours on and off playing that damn Glados song.

Hello, and welcome to the Enrichment Center, hello, and welcome to the Enrichment Center....
 
B

BY2K

Membero Americo
This is taking way too long. I sleep for 8 hours (leaving Kick It running) and Kick It isn't even done yet. T_T
 
T

TheExodu5

Banned
Zomba13 said:
We're 26.5% of the way to release. The main thing to focus on is the big launch bar and not the projected launch time (that is the time the game will launch if the bar wasn't completed before the timer hit 0)
Click to expand...

The problem is that as more games get filled up, less people will be able to participate, slowing down the rate at which the bar will go up.

I went to bed and it seems as if nothing's moved except for 1 2 3. It doesn't even look likely that this will come out on Monday. This is a big waste of time.
 
D

DarkKyo

Member
butter_stick said:
Aaaahhhhhh's was a nice challenge. Took me about an hour to get them both. Audiosurf was a bitch, I spent about 2 hours on and off playing that damn Glados song.

Hello, and welcome to the Enrichment Center, hello, and welcome to the Enrichment Center....
Click to expand...
Such a good song though!
Especially when it picks up again at "please proceed into android hell *feral growl*"
 
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