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[Bam Bam Baklava]

Not true at all. My life is in disarray, I'm angry and aggressive all the time, and the rest of my life is in relative disorder, yet for some reason now is the time when I'm actually finding that women are attracted to me, have actually had a few propositions thrown my way, and have actually had contact with a girl for once.

A stark contrast to 5 or so years ago, when I was more confident, hopeful, and happy, yet couldn't get a girl to give me the time of day.

You just blew all of Dating-age's advice out the window.

 

[zethren]

Not true at all. My life is in disarray, I'm angry and aggressive all the time, and the rest of my life is in relative disorder, yet for some reason now is the time when I'm actually finding that women are attracted to me, have actually had a few propositions thrown my way, and have actually had contact with a girl for once.

A stark contrast to 5 or so years ago, when I was more confident, hopeful, and happy, yet couldn't get a girl to give me the time of day.

Yes, it is true.

You're an exception. Congratulations.

You just blew all of Dating-age's advice out the window.

Exceptions to rules do happen.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Yes, it is true.

You're an exception. Congratulations.

I don't know man. How many times have you heard about those guys who have no job or anything going for them but still got a girl for some reason or another. Everyone wondering why she's going out with him.

 

[CountAntonius]

I don't know man. How many times have you heard about those guys who have no job or anything going for them but still got a girl for some reason or another. Everyone wondering why she's going out with him.

Maybe cause the woman is attracted to the individual and not some archetype he fits into?

 

[BananaBomb]

just coming in to say that this is a very awkward thread to have at the top of neogaf in the event anyone looks at my monitor. that is all.

 

[Fezzan]

I don't know man. How many times have you heard about those guys who have no job or anything going for them but still got a girl for some reason or another. Everyone wondering why she's going out with him.

That's incredibly cynical, maybe the woman loves the man and doesn;t care if they have a job etc.

 

[zethren]

I don't know man. How many times have you heard about those guys who have no job or anything going for them but still got a girl for some reason or another. Everyone wondering why she's going out with him.

Because they may not have a job but probably have a good mindset, though I would wonder why. Other aspects of their life, mainly psychological more than likely, are probably in order enough to where a girl could find something attractive in him. There's always something that someone can find attractive about you, but it's harder for people to see when you bog yourself down with other life issues.

Honestly, I don't personally know too many losers who randomly have women falling all over them.

There are always exceptions to every rule, and people without jobs or loads of head problems can get dates/girlfriends. Would you recommend that lifestyle as an effective method of attraction?

 

[TUROK]

Yes, it is true.

You're an exception. Congratulations.

It's not true and it's not false. The reality lies somewhere in between.

Plenty of people have their lives in order, yet still can't get their feelings or advances reciprocated by those they are attracted to.

Sure, you can call me an exception, but I'm not the only one. There's tons of "exceptions" out there, exceptions that call into question your "rule."

You just blew all of Dating-age's advice out the window.

Haha... Key difference between me back then and me now (aside from all the fucked up stuff): exercise. So uh... Lift weights, I guess.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Would you recommend that lifestyle as an effective method of attraction?

I would recommend trying anything and everything if you're at the point guys like Kinggi are at.

Haha... Key difference between me back then and me now (aside from all the fucked up stuff): exercise. So uh... Lift weights, I guess.

Damn man it's all physical?

 

[Omegasquash]

Tim Tebow is STILL a virgin

For good reason, he's a fucking weirdo. Kate Upton hitting on you and you haven't had sex yet?

The latest bachelor (on the show the bachelor), looks like this:
...
and is a virgin.

Granted, it more so by choice..which is kind of different.

Then it doesn't count.

David Gandy, The worlds number 1 male model (highest grossing revenue), had women problems all throughout out his young adolescent life. He never had a girl friend before the age of 22, and lost his virginity shortly after.

So I mean guys, just chill. It's a universal problem that affects everyone.

That last bit is the one that people ought to read and pay attention to. And fuck Tim Tebow.

 

[TUROK]

Damn man it's all physical?

Lol, I know you're being facetious, but I don't know. Attracting women eludes me, but for some reason my current situation is working in that regard.

 

[zethren]

If you're having luck in your life and you're okay with your situation, I see no problem. I'm happy for ya.

But it's a very basic idea, that works more often than not, that if you improve the quality of your life you are more likely to attract somebody else. That's a win win in my book.

 

[Omegasquash]

Lol, I know you're being facetious, but I don't know. Attracting women eludes me, but for some reason my current situation is working in that regard.

Because it's a myth. The only men that "attract" women are goddamn supermodels and superstars. The rest of us just need to have game.

 

[jorma]

Yes, and I was joking. The problem is the fact that they actually percieve it as a problem. They have other issues that need working on in that case. Just because you think something is a problem doesn't actually mean it is the problem.

^Yes, it's a delusion. Exactly.

It's not a delusion. The drive to have sex is pretty strong, and it's true for all animals. I don't find it at all hard to belive that involontary virginity is a root cause for depression instead of the other way around as you seem to suggest.

 

[Fezzan]

Damn man it's all physical?

Well, unless you have money.

 

[TUROK]

But it's a very basic idea, that works more often than not, that if you improve the quality of your life you are more likely to attract somebody else. That's a win win in my book.

Now that I can agree with. It's definitely a more rational and practical approach.

 

[Funky Papa]

Because it's a myth. The only men that "attract" women are goddamn supermodels and superstars. The rest of us just need to have game.

Not really. Women fall and crush for average men with zero game just like men fall and crush for average women. It happens all the time.

The thread about clueless gaffers failing to realise when member of the other sex want to rub genitals is pretty eye opening (and I say this as a senior contributor).

 

[Conciliator]

Now that I came here this thread is actually pretty interesting, but I really wish someone would change the title.

 

[Timbuktu]

It's not a delusion. The drive to have sex is pretty strong, and it's true for all animals.

Yeah, just watching that new BBC nature doc 'Africa' and half of it was about animals fighting to get laid. It's pretty funny, the rhinos that couldn't get it on and that young elephant losing his virginity and got so happy, but then got tossed out by the bigger jock.

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

It's not true and it's not false. The reality lies somewhere in between.

Plenty of people have their lives in order, yet still can't get their feelings or advances reciprocated by those they are attracted to.

Sure, you can call me an exception, but I'm not the only one. There's tons of "exceptions" out there, exceptions that call into question your "rule."

Haha... Key difference between me back then and me now (aside from all the fucked up stuff): exercise. So uh... Lift weights, I guess.

I would recommend trying anything and everything if you're at the point guys like Kinggi are at.



Damn man it's all physical?

Because it's a myth. The only men that "attract" women are goddamn supermodels and superstars. The rest of us just need to have game.

Well, unless you have money.

Holy shit there's so much wrong in this thread.

 

[Fezzan]

Holy shit there's so much wrong in this thread.

It's not wrong, Women go out with guys just because they have money, it's really a terrible thing and I agree that is wrong, but it still happens.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Mh. I wonder why some people in here are still virgins.

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

It's not wrong, Women go out with guys just because they have money, it's really a terrible thing and I agree that is wrong, but it still happens.

Im a broke as fuck student and i have no problem getting girls? So yea you are wrong.

Mh. I wonder why some people in here are still virgins.

Seriously. Peoples attitudes to women in here are so fucked up its ridiculous. Then again if you believe all women are interested in is money well then enjoy spending your life as a virgin.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

I'm eighteen, have been with my girlfriend for almost two years, and we're both still virgins. We have fun, of course, but we have not had sex. I really don't see what the big deal is, but I guess everyone is different and has different priorities.

 

[BadAss2961]

Im a broke as fuck student and i have no problem getting girls? So yea you are wrong.

Seriously. Peoples attitudes to women in here are so fucked up its ridiculous. Then again if you believe all women are interested in is money well then enjoy spending your life as a virgin.

I think he's just saying that it happens. That it's easier to attract people if you have money. Not that you can't if you're broke.

 

[TUROK]

Holy shit there's so much wrong in this thread.

Please tell me how I'm wrong.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Holy shit there's so much wrong in this thread.

The fuck is wrong with what I said? I'm saying try new things if you're having troubles and that physical shit was a joke in response to that guys post about working out.

 

[Izayoi]

We've had people who sound super depressed, who sound angry, who sound afraid, and who have obvious body image issues along with people making fun of them and mocking them. Can you imagine, even in this thread about virginity you're still mocked? It's no wonder.

Yeah, it's pretty depressing. Like I said earlier, I really do think it's sad that many members of GAF seem to have such an immature view of sex and sexuality. Although, it seems much of our society still struggles a lot with sexuality, especially in the US. Maybe if we weren't so repressive and judgmental toward people who weren't "normal" this wouldn't be as big of a problem as it is.

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

The fuck is wrong with what I said? I'm saying try new things if you're having troubles and that physical shit was a joke in response to that guys post about working out.

Hard to read sarcasm over the internet. I thought you were serious, my fault.

 

[CountAntonius]

Mh. I wonder why some people in here are still virgins.

The sexual experiences I've had all left me feeling pretty empty afterward. I really would rather care for someone that I'm going to sleep with. The opportunities that have arisen would have been fuck buddies or one night stands and neither of those appeal to me. The bigger issue is my inability to feel close to anyone. So the virginity is an offshoot of that and having sex wouldn't do anything to fix it.

 

[Fezzan]

Im a broke as fuck student and i have no problem getting girls? So yea you are wrong.



Seriously. Peoples attitudes to women in here are so fucked up its ridiculous. Then again if you believe all women are interested in is money well then enjoy spending your life as a virgin.

Not what I said, I said Women will go out with men because they have money.

 

[depths20XX]

I think he's just saying that it happens. That it's easier to attract people if you have money. Not that you can't if you're broke.

The type of women that are attracted by money aren't worth attracting anyways.

 

[Fezzan]

The type of women that are attracted by money aren't worth attracting anyways.

I agree completely, I was just saying it happens.

 

[chicko1983]

I was a stud just after i finished high school and got women coming up to me all the time until I was about 22. Then I started drinking heavily after a close friend died (6 or so years ago) and stopped exercising and got badly out of shape (I'm now about 30kg over the weight I was in high school).

Been laid only 5 or 6 times since I was 22 (now 28) so I feel like I can relate somewhat to some of virginGAF.

After a lot of soul searching and bouts of depression, I have decided to get back in shape and turn my life around. It was a new years resolution and I have been exercising and working out every day of this year.

Its done amazing things to my self esteem, even though i probably have only lost a kilo or two. Last night I went out with some friends for drinks (a bunch of friends that I had been avoiding for a year due to social anxiety) and got a number of a girl I met at a bar.

Hey it's not sex, but its it's a step in the right direction, especially considering my last 12 months when I've barely spoken to a girl.

One thing that I was told about 6 months ago and I am starting to see is true is : Improve yourself and your self esteem before worrying about why a girl won't sleep with you.

Ask youself this: If you were a girl, would you ask someone like your depressed self out? if the answer is no, the do something about it.

 

[ICKE]

Turn 29, hate everyone, find glorious ways to die, nobody cares. Oh but they will.

You people might want to think about this comment the next time you post these "virgins should just kill themselves" pics from 4chan.

Reinforcing negative emotions leads to school shootings and horrible tragedies.

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

You people might want to think about this comment the next time you post these "virgins should just kill themselves" pics from 4chan.

Reinforcing negative emotions leads to school shootings and horrible tragedies.

I dont agree with the guy who posted that picture in any way.

But if you really cant see that the post you quoted was an act of desperate attention seeking then i dont know what to tell you really.

 

[CountAntonius]

You people might want to think about this comment the next time you post these "virgins should just kill themselves" pics from 4chan.

Reinforcing negative emotions leads to school shootings and horrible tragedies.

Well said.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

I dont agree with the guy who posted that picture in any way.

But if you really cant see that the post you quoted was an act of desperate attention seeking then i dont know what to tell you really.

Didn't you say being a virgin in your 20s means you're a failure?

 

[Enter The 36 Chambers]

Didn't you say being a virgin in your 20s means you're a failure?

Not directly, but it does mean your doing something wrong. I mean of course, your a virgin and you dont want to be. Im sure there are specific cases of people who dont want to have sex, as rare as they are.

 

[Fezzan]

I was a stud just after i finished high school and got women coming up to me all the time until I was about 22. Then I started drinking heavily after a close friend died (6 or so years ago) and stopped exercising and got badly out of shape (I'm now about 30kg over the weight I was in high school).

Been laid only 5 or 6 times since I was 22 (now 28) so I feel like I can relate somewhat to some of virginGAF.

After a lot of soul searching and bouts of depression, I have decided to get back in shape and turn my life around. It was a new years resolution and I have been exercising and working out every day of this year.

Its done amazing things to my self esteem, even though i probably have only lost a kilo or two. Last night I went out with some friends for drinks (a bunch of friends that I had been avoiding for a year due to social anxiety) and got a number of a girl I met at a bar.

Hey it's not sex, but its it's a step in the right direction, especially considering my last 12 months when I've barely spoken to a girl.

One thing that I was told about 6 months ago and I am starting to see is true is : Improve yourself and your self esteem before worrying about why a girl won't sleep with you.

Ask youself this: If you were a girl, would you ask someone like your depressed self out? if the answer is no, the do something about it.

Sounds like you needed professional help, you obviously didn't know how to handle it.

 

[ICKE]

But if you really cant see that the post you quoted was an act of desperate attention seeking then i dont know what to tell you really.

A bit like a certain Finnish person was just desperate for attention when he stated his intentions three years ago (even to well known youtube personalities).

If I was a moderator I would consider closing this thread and maybe try to contact the person in question etc.

It might feel like a waste of time and resources to you and I sincerely hope you are correct.

 

[Vermillion]

My thing with this sex = achievement unlocked? stuff here is that it's a matter of what you perceive to be important to you, which is shaped by our present western culture. The "achievement" part is just construct. Let me explain. first of all not everyone in the world thinks in uniformity about a sexual encounter/first time sexual encounter. In the US and the west, it is generally viewed that boys and girls should have sex and it is "right". If they don't, parents, friends, relatives or colleagues might think there's something wrong, etc. The media and our culture promotes this by tying societal acceptance with having sex. So when you do have sexy time for the first time, you feel "cool" and accepted, or part of the herd. This is the result of the sexual revolution of the 60's, where having sex before marriage was the defining characteristic of a youth disillusioned by the establishment and the painstaking norms of the old where the world is ruled by only Men (capital M). No kids allowed. Only Men do cool things. Men run businesses. Men are great. Men rule the world. Then Rock n Roll came along and really a paradigm shift happened. It gave the youth a voice.

I'm not saying that sex outside marriage did not happen at all before 1950 in the US. I'm talking about a general perception of it changing completely in the US. But in many parts of the world, the world is still ruled by Men (figuratively). In these places, sex outside marriage is seen as a shameful act that will bring dishonor and drag the family name in the mud. You are an outcast if you have pre-marital sex, instead of being the "cool" guy in the west. People will label you all sorts of names. This is their perception according to their cultural influences. The sexual revolution or the demystification of Man's Dominance hasn't happened in these countries. But slowly we see their societies also becoming greatly influenced by the west due to the pervasiveness of our music, movies, TV, books and now the internet. I'm not passing judgment on western cultures vs eastern cultures. It's just how our societies took shape.

It's important to know why we view sex like we do, especially if it's the first time. It's all about how society perceives it. So if you're thinking "boohoos I'm a lonely nerd and I will die", don't. The pressures are making you feel that way. Think about it. If you were born in a different culture or sometime before 1940, you'd be the paragon of greatness.

If I were born in another time, a lot of different things would happen. We exist now, mate.

 

[Vermillion]

Because it's a myth. The only men that "attract" women are goddamn supermodels and superstars. The rest of us just need to have game.

This is factually incorrect.

 

[~Kinggi~]

A bit like a certain Finnish person was just desperate for attention when he stated his intentions three years ago (even to well known youtube personalities).

If I was a moderator I would consider closing this thread and maybe try to contact the person in question etc.

It might feel like a waste of time and resources to you and I sincerely hope you are correct.

Im fine, im very manic and when im low im very low and hate everything and am very angry.

 

[m14]

Im fine, im very manic and when im low im very low and hate everything and am very angry.

Anyone familiar with your posts will know that you mention suicide often, but it looks like people only noticed in this case because they thought you were talking about harming others. I'm touched by their empathy.

IMO ~Kinggi~ is one of a number of posters here who have fallen through the cracks. Some of you will acknowledge him but often the advice given is insincere and vapid.

He has done pretty much everything people would suggest to him, put in much more effort (especially in the gym) than most of you would in the same situation and he's angry. I don't blame him at all.

I'm just waiting for some douche to tell him to go to salsa classes.

 

[Vermillion]

Im fine, im very manic and when im low im very low and hate everything and am very angry.

Just go to sa- oh.

Joking. If you need to chat, PM me anytime.

 

[~Kinggi~]

Anyone familiar with your posts will know that you mention suicide often, but it looks like people only noticed in this case because they thought you were talking about harming others. I'm touched by their empathy.

IMO ~Kinggi~ is one of a number of posters here who have fallen through the cracks. Some of you will acknowledge him but often the advice given is insincere and vapid.

He has done pretty much everything people would suggest to him, put in much more effort (especially in the gym) than most of you would in the same situation and he's angry. I don't blame him at all.

I'm just waiting for some douche to tell him to go to salsa classes.

I dont blame anyone here for much of anything. I think the advice is usually good it just is hard to apply to a bad set of circumstances that have accumulated to form my life. Anyway i appreciate your post.

 

[Camp Lo]

I lied but I was 15 and she didn't want to have sex with a virgin due to attachments.

 

[Dilly]

Yes, and I was joking. The problem is the fact that they actually percieve it as a problem. They have other issues that need working on in that case. Just because you think something is a problem doesn't actually mean it is the problem.

^Yes, it's a delusion. Exactly.

Nah, I got my troubles out of the way. I lost weight, found 2 hobbies I love doing (Guitar/music and karting), I'm doing fine in school and I have a lot of good friends (who are mostly in the same situation as I am), I'm pretty sure I'm an interesting person and don't have bad looks. However, trying to climb out of years of feeling inconfident with yourself and still having to read stuff like this:

Not directly, but it does mean your doing something wrong. I mean of course, your a virgin and you dont want to be. Im sure there are specific cases of people who dont want to have sex, as rare as they are.

or that I'm not normal isn't exactly helping. I obviously know there's something wrong here, don't have rub it in my face every time the subject comes up.

I mean, I felt happier ever since I first asked a girl I got to know at a party her number a few months ago just because it finally feels like a step in the right direction after all that hard work of trying to improve myself.

 

[ICKE]

Im fine, im very manic and when im low im very low and hate everything and am very angry.

Understood, it's good to let out some steam from time to time - as long as we stay in the verbal dimension.

And I wouldn't worry about being 29 and still trying to find your place. I know people who were in their mid 30s before they decided to get a masters degree and really make something out of their lives. Now they are what you might call successful people who work as attorneys etc.

Best of luck to you.