Want kids? Have kids? Don’t want kids?

Kids?

  • I have kids

    Votes: 73 41.2%

  • I want kids

    Votes: 25 14.1%

  • I don’t want kids

    Votes: 65 36.7%

  • Im undecided

    Votes: 15 8.5%

  • She’s pregnant

    Votes: 4 2.3%
  • Total voters
    177
Aesius said:
Counterpoint: with two kids you get to reuse a lot of stuff with the second (clothes, toys, accessories, etc.). And the day-to-day can actually be easier once they reach a certain age because they can play with each other instead of demanding your time.
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This guy gets it.

With two kids (and especially so if they're one gender) you have everything you need from the get go. We just had to re buy clothes that were trashed by the first one, shoes and seasonal clothes (winter gear due to size difference).
They play with the same toys and the younger one just skipped almost all of the baby stuff cause he wanted to do everything his older bro does and plays with.
 
Doczu said:
This guy gets it.

With two kids (and especially so if they're one gender) you have everything you need from the get go. We just had to re buy clothes that were trashed by the first one, shoes and seasonal clothes (winter gear due to size difference).
They play with the same toys and the younger one just skipped almost all of the baby stuff cause he wanted to do everything his older bro does and plays with.
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How well do your boys get along?
 
I call this combo the gambler:
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Aesius said:
How well do your boys get along?
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Quite good.
Older one pushes and bites his bro, younger one uses a small wooden hammer in defense, both are kicking the living shit out of themself. I'd say they are on the way to be good bro's.
The younger one is fucking enormous in height, the difference between them is like 10cm. Or about just above 2 inches in burger metrics, so i'll give him some time to be the one to slap some sense to the older one.
 
Don't have, maybe want. But not just to have kids, it would have to be with the right person (who I might have just met? We'll see...). If I don't meet that right person in the next few years it's not gonna happen, and if so I'm fine with that I think. There's no natural law saying you HAVE TO have kids and your life is a failure if you don't, but it sure can feel that way sometimes.
 
RoadHazard said:
Don't have, maybe want. But not just to have kids, it would have to be with the right person (who I might have just met? We'll see...). If I don't meet that right person in the next few years it's not gonna happen, and if so I'm fine with that I think. There's no natural law saying you HAVE TO have kids and your life is a failure if you don't, but it sure can feel that way sometimes.
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This is very important. My wife and I were together for nearly a decade before our first child was born. I would never have kids just to have them, nor would I have had them with a woman I wasn't 100% sure was trustworthy, likely to be a good mother, and had the right priorities.
 
I'm 49 and have 2 kids (boy and girl) Didn't want kids at first but wife's biological clock was ticking. Gave in and having kids is great. Not for everyone and is a huge life adjustment. My son is approaching the age of enlistment and I am hoping this Russian crap ends soon.
 
I'm 41 and have 1 wonderful soon to be 14 year old boy, he played Fortnite now I have 0 sons. J/k.

Planning on having one more hopefully soon. I wrote down the stats for what my second son should be but my balls never listen.
 
36yo, have 2 kids, no plans on another one. I think 2 is enough, its a rewarding experience, still is, but it just constantly takes a lot of attention and energy for the 2 that I don't think I have any left to spare for another one. Thankfully the wife agrees with this.
 
It's never the right time and you can always decide later...until it happens and that's the best thing that could have happened. And twice.
 
I think most men don't WANT kids if they're honest with themselves, as evidenced by the vote.

I love kids, they're endlessly adorable, entertaining and fascinating.

But I wouldn't want to have one to take care of for 18+ years!

I like my freedom too much.

Edit: I'd also echo the sentiment that the world is basically in the shitter, and seems to be getting worse by the year. I think you need to have a moral word with yourself before taking the leap into parenthood.
 
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I have 3 kids. Best thing that happened in my life. But I worry about their future. The future is very bleak for them at this point I question the morality of my choice of bringing them into this shit ass world. Especially with the type of personality they have, they are so fucked. Doesn't help either that their mom is psychotic over protective.
 
Not going to vote here. I have two sons.

I never wanted kids. Got with someone early on in life who said they couldn't have any. Their mother supported this theory through doctors records or other dark incarnations.

Made 1 (miracle) baby with condoms.

Bought condoms, used them. Years later learned from my ex-wife's sister she poked holes in them.

Made baby 2. With condoms.

Both checked, DNA match. Turns out her mom wanted grandchildren and this was a thing between them.

I've got 2, they're both past 10. I'm doing my best. Remarried to an incredible woman who never wants kids, I had the operation.

Wish I'd taken this scene more seriously.
 
We don't want kids, we want to enjoy our lives. And it's not like we don't know what we're "missing"... we were around plenty of kids from family & friends and that ensured us we don't want that.
 
i want kids, but only with a baby mama I def don't want to have wife/gf I'd rather have another dog i prolly wouldn't mind paying child support & having once a week visits thats gud enuff 4 me
 
Have kids. I was 37 … imo too old for me and was a mistake. I should have it a lot early.
My wife was 29.

Life change a lot and feels like before I was just wasting time doing Netflix, games and travel 😂 .
 
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NinjaBoiX said:
I think most men don't WANT kids if they're honest with themselves, as evidenced by the vote.

I love kids, they're endlessly adorable, entertaining and fascinating.

But I wouldn't want to have one to take care of for 18+ years!

I like my freedom too much.

Edit: I'd also echo the sentiment that the world is basically in the shitter, and seems to be getting worse by the year. I think you need to have a moral word with yourself before taking the leap into parenthood.
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every father I know didn't want kids, it's true. But afterwards they can't believe they ever thought that way.

The world has never been safer lol. Doommaxxing and believing you're living in a uniquely dangerous time is a story as old as time.
 
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gaming_again said:
You're in

every father I know didn't want kids, it's true. But afterwards they can't believe they ever thought that way.

The world has never been safer lol. Doommaxxing and believing you're living in a uniquely dangerous time is a story as old as time.
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It's mostly because currently there is a strong pushback to being a parent and people saying "you got time for everything" couldn't be more wrong.
Better to have kids when you are younger than older. For you and for them
 
10 years married and so far neither of us wants kids.

If that changes we'd probably go for an adoption, but I doubt it. I just don't have the desire for kids and value my freedom more.
 
I'm honestly surprised that the "I have kids/I want kids" is "winning" in the poll.

I think if my wife didn't want them, I wouldn't have had them. It does seem nonsensical to disrupt your life, especially in your 30s when you are used to answering only to yourself for many years, to take care of helpless little humans for years and years. But man is it rewarding. Frustrating, tiring, and stressful, yes. But as others have said, it does make most other things in life seem inconsequential.
 
Dont want kids. I enjoy my lifestyle, and have enough fun with nieces and nephews. It's great being the fun uncle buying their kids stuff, while not being the parent. I love how when I see them they listen to what I say, but rarely listen to their own parents. If they say clear the table or get off the tablet they dont listen. When I say do it, they do it. lol
 
gaming_again said:
every father I know didn't want kids, it's true. But afterwards they can't believe they ever thought that way.

The world has never been safer lol. Doommaxxing and believing you're living in a uniquely dangerous time is a story as old as time.
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I hear the same from parents. I've never met a friend or fam member say they made a mistake with Kid X being a pain in the ass. Although at the same time, I'm surprised by how many of them say some of their kids were unplanned. Youd think two adults ramming each other would be more responsible regarding the possibility of being a parent 9 months later. It's like half the time, they're like "We didn't plan for Susie, but were happy we still had her". It's like they treat having a child like not being sure if putting pineapple on pizza is a good idea, but turns out it's ok after all.
 
I like this verse in Psalms bout kids. I wish I had more.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth, Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
 
StreetsofBeige said:
I hear the same from parents. I've never met a friend or fam member say they made a mistake with Kid X being a pain in the ass. Although at the same time, I'm surprised by how many of them say some of their kids were unplanned. Youd think two adults ramming each other would be more responsible regarding the possibility of being a parent 9 months later. It's like half the time, they're like "We didn't plan for Susie, but were happy we still had her". It's like they treat having a child like not being sure if putting pineapple on pizza is a good idea, but turns out it's ok after all.
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I think for lots of people 'unplanned' means 'not going for it but not really trying to stop it either'.

After my wife's miscarriage she was desperate to get pregnant again. But every time we had sex with that intention I couldn't stay hard… not that I didn't want to get her pregnant. It was just weird turning sex into a task. I had to convince myself that I was just having fun to perform to my usual standard (still wretched of course).
 
Outlier said:
I want ONE son. Just 1... SON. I also want to raise him myself. I've thought about the methods, but know it's never so simple, but It's the only realistic dream I have in life.
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as I'm sure you realize, raising a kid yourself would be very, very difficult

we had our first child (a son) last November and although he's fairly "easy", I really can't imagine doing it alone. I have a newfound deep respect for single parents
 
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Amory said:
as I'm sure you realize, raising a kid yourself would be very, very difficult

we had our first child (a son) last November and although he's fairly "easy", I really can't imagine doing it alone. I have a newfound deep respect for single parents
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Yeah, being a single parent of one child seems impossible. Multiple children? Fucking hell.

I also have become significantly less judgmental of parents in general. Having kids is a roll of the dice in many ways. You may get lucky and have relatively quiet, well-adjusted, well-behaved, and easygoing kids, in which case parenthood is a breeze. Or you may have nothing but hellions running around who don't sleep, destroy everything in sight, and constantly throw tantrums long after the age they should have grown out of them.
 
SJRB said:
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I lol literally every time I talk to someone my age who's like "I can't do or afford this fun/cool/awesome/nice thing anymore because I have kids".
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lol, I'll clue folks in to something. The vast majority of people who say that don't actually want to do whatever it is they claim to not have time or money for. Kids are the ultimate excuse for bailing out of things those who've extended their youth far past its warranty period tend to get into.

The rest of that group are likely in a one-sided relationship and are fearful of incurring the wrath of their partner. Kids don't really create problems for people, but they amplify the shit out of existing ones.
 
Aesius said:
Yeah, being a single parent of one child seems impossible. Multiple children? Fucking hell.

I also have become significantly less judgmental of parents in general. Having kids is a roll of the dice in many ways. You may get lucky and have relatively quiet, well-adjusted, well-behaved, and easygoing kids, in which case parenthood is a breeze. Or you may have nothing but hellions running around who don't sleep, destroy everything in sight, and constantly throw tantrums long after the age they should have grown out of them.
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I no longer roll my eyes at kids grasping an ipad while sitting in a trolley. In fact, half the time I want to ask the parent what the supermarket WiFi password is.
 
gaming_again said:
I no longer roll my eyes at kids grasping an ipad while sitting in a trolley. In fact, half the time I want to ask the parent what the supermarket WiFi password is.
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My son watches the hell out of some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. We haven't gotten him a tablet yet but given that we were initially resistant to screen time, I'm sure it's coming.
 
Aesius said:
My son watches the hell out of some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. We haven't gotten him a tablet yet but given that we were initially resistant to screen time, I'm sure it's coming.
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Dealing with the effects firsthand, I would say hold off. Tablets and electronics to me seem to stifle the imagination and critical thinking. Both of my kids have used them and there are good and bad things. they make great babysitters; they do not inspire much else. They may be good at helping a kid learn.... Our kids our now limited to weekends with tablets and I don't let them watch Youtube at all.
 
Screens are a weird one. Instinctively you know they're bad but… it's the world they're growing up in. I try to limit it to 30 mins in the morning and 30 mins in the evening. So far so good… (lol)
 
Nah, i can barely keep up with myself, economically. I'm also single for most of my life and find it too hard to get into a relationship. I'm also 40 so a bit late to the party.
 
Don't want any. Not interested in them. Call me selfish but I am very happy to focus on myself. Lots of time to myself doing what I want and I can spend my money on what I want. Kids are expensive and too much work and effort.
 
AJUMP23 said:
Dealing with the effects firsthand, I would say hold off. Tablets and electronics to me seem to stifle the imagination and critical thinking. Both of my kids have used them and there are good and bad things. they make great babysitters; they do not inspire much else. They may be good at helping a kid learn.... Our kids our now limited to weekends with tablets and I don't let them watch Youtube at all.
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Yeah, it's a bridge we haven't needed to cross yet. Right now we have MMC or Puppy Dog Pals on the TV and he will roam around from the living room to watch those for a bit and then go into his playroom and play for a while, rinse and repeat. A tablet seems like a bit much because then he's got permanent access and control. Right now we control the remote and can just turn it off. I think if he had a tablet he'd want to bring it into bed with him.
 
Aesius said:
Yeah, being a single parent of one child seems impossible. Multiple children? Fucking hell.

I also have become significantly less judgmental of parents in general. Having kids is a roll of the dice in many ways. You may get lucky and have relatively quiet, well-adjusted, well-behaved, and easygoing kids, in which case parenthood is a breeze. Or you may have nothing but hellions running around who don't sleep, destroy everything in sight, and constantly throw tantrums long after the age they should have grown out of them.
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WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY KIDS?!

It's literally my boys, the older one more so. That's also why we are waiting before we make any judgement (ADD) cause my mom told me i was a hell spawn too when i was a kid.
If there is ANYTHING they can DESTROY they will do it. Once when we were getting out of our car we lost sight of our older one for a split second. Long enough for him to find the biggest fucking rock laying nearby and testing what will happen when he scratches the bumber of our neighbours Benz... That was the moment we decided to get some good insurance for him...
 
mclaren777 said:
I've wanted to be a father since middle school and I now have a seven-year-old son and a five-year-old daughter.

Couldn't be happier! :messenger_heart:

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Adorable!
gaming_again said:
every father I know didn't want kids, it's true. But afterwards they can't believe they ever thought that way.

The world has never been safer lol. Doommaxxing and believing you're living in a uniquely dangerous time is a story as old as time.
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Oh yeah, I'd imagine I'd feel exactly the same. As I say, I love being around the little tykes, I can only imagine how I'd feel if that tyke was my progeny.

And in terms of "world in the shitter", I certainly wasn't referring to being concerned for for their immediate safety.

Just, you know, the ever growing likelihood that our planet is dying and the effect that might have on a kid's mental state, stuff like that…
 
Two kids, both boys. 6 and 3.5.

Both of them are my world. They both love Mario & Sonic too which is just awesome to me! But as others have mentioned, I have no free time. By the time they go to bed, I'm exhausted and can't be bothered doing anything else haha
 
Met my wife after I split with who I thought was going to be my wife. Bullet dodged. Originally my wife and I had a distinct conversation on a night out with friends and she was asking me if I ever wanted kids (we were not together then). I knew what the answer was doing to her feelings about me at the time but I really didn't want kids with the headspace I was in and was forgoing a summer fling or possible relationship in lieu of that insight. A couple of years later and we'd been dating for a while and the convo came up again, do you want kids? I said yes, this time and meant it. I grew up in a family of 5 and have always wanted kids, there was just a period there where I didn't. Fast forward and the misses was the driving force behind our first house, our first born and second born and generally has a far better handle on our life and planning than I do. What a ride having kids is. It is not for the selfish or feint hearted, and things will constantly be outside your comfort zone. That's the beauty of it, you get to enjoy this wild ride together. I wouldn't change having kids for anything, I do worry for our planet though. Hopefully our kids receive a better planet than we did and continue with that lofty goal. Living through your kids is an experience like no other. Seeing their failures, successes and personalities develop is an incredible gift I happily pay the price of constant diligence and hard work in raising them to be a part of their lives.

A partner of a high school buddy of mine was at a Christmas BBQ years ago when our kids were little and of course everyone was asking when they're having kids. They cannot have kids but don't want to tell everyone, wife and I know them closely. After the group social baby factory circle jerk finished I heard her say to him about their pregnancy issues and they're perfectly happy with a life without kids etc. I chatted to them about the "grass is greener on the other side" rule, I could easily enjoy a lavish life with the wife and I and no kids. We'd travel multiple times a year or travel for a year or two completely etc. She appreciated a parent/friend being honest that it's not just "have kids, they make everything roses" bullshit.
 
JayK47 said:
I've heard of DINK, but DINKWAD? Ha. I think this is a good take on DINKs.

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I think this is a bit harsh. I have kids but don't begrudge anyone who doesn't. There are perfectly valid reasons to not have them, including "being selfish" or just simply not wanting to deal with them. His premise is flawed because while extrapolating DINKism all the way to its logical conclusion means the end of the human race, it will never come to that. People are gonna have sex and produce children. Even with a myriad of birth control methods available, babies are still conceived and born, even when the parents are iffy on having kids in the first place.
 
I want kids. Where else will I pass on my huge collection of video games that I've been deluding myself they're going to love playing with me.

(I've actually would be ok not having kids. I don't consider myself mature enough to handle the responsibility)
 
Didn't really have an opportunity to have kids when I was younger, but now when I'm older, I feel like I can no longer shoulder the responsibility and sacrifices to raise a kid(s). It's basically giving up 18+ years of your life and freedom. I don't have the energy or dedication for that anymore.
 
Do not have kids if you want life per your own terms. Therenis extremely rare cases where kids are gift and you can do what you want and your wife won't change.
 
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