Why does he do it? I mean, seriously. Usually when the head bad guy abducts a damsel, he has a reason for it like he needs her virgin blood for a sacrifice or he wants to make her his bride, or etc. But with Bowser? No. He doesn't try to take advantage of her and dress her up in questionable clothing like the way Jabba did with princess Leia. He does NOTHING. There's the theory that he does it to get Mario to come after him, but does he REALLY need to abduct Princess Peach to coax Mario? Mario would go after Bowser to save anyone. You know, for Nintendo's next Mario game, they shouldn't have us go through 8 different worlds just to fight Bowser at the end and 'rescue' Peach from impending doom. They should model the game after a Rocky movie. The game starts off with Bowser and Mario having a press conference where they tell the press that they'll be having a bout in 6 months. Instead of spending the time before the final showdown bouncing around different worlds like you normally would, you spend that time training Mario for his big fight. Toad will be your coach. You have to build up Mario's strength, speed, and stamina by doing all sorts of crazy shyt like.. tapping A rapidly to do pushups while Toad sits on your back, dodging flying goombas thrown at you by Donkey Kong, and doing chinups with a koopa shell tied to each foot. The beauty of the game is you have to train real hard or else when the six months are up and you spent most of your time playing mini-games instead of training, Bowser kicks Mario's ass and gets mad props.
that'd be ill/
that'd be ill/
