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[Off-Kilter]

No injuries/deaths thankfully.

A bacon-crazed Michigan woman faces prison for shooting up a McDonald’s after workers screwed up her order.

Shaneka Torres allegedly said “Bitch, you don’t know who you’re talking to,” before she fired into the drive-thru window of the Grand Rapids fast food spot.

...

Torres had twice tried to get a bacon cheeseburger before she went on the McWarpath.

She complained when the first sandwich arrived sans bacon, and McDonald’s promised make it up to her with a free one next time she came in.

So Torres returned a few hours later to collect.

...

But she soured quickly when workers shorted her once again on the promised pig strips.

Kent County prosecutors claimed Torres hopped in a car with her friend, pulled a handgun out of her purse and squeezed off a round.

The bullet shattered the drive-thru window, narrowly missing a worker who’d ducked away seconds earlier to pick up another burger.

She faces at least seven years in prison on felony gun charges, MLive reported.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/bacon-crazed-michigan-woman-guilty-mcdonald-shooting-article-1.2162639

put me on the McWarpath if old

 

[Scum]

D:

 

[entremet]

She should've went to Burger King.

 

[Delta Assault]

Pigs showed up afterwards though, I bet.

 

[GaimeGuy]

The solution is to give everyone a gun. Also the coca cola tap machines should be outfitted with turrets and top grade military sensors

 

[Floridian]

 

[Amir0x]

Pigs showed up afterwards though, I bet.

heh.

But seriously, how fucking low do you have to be to shoot at someone over missing bacon on your order. How goddamn hard are you craving for some bacon ma'am?

The solution is to give everyone a gun. Also the coca cola tap machines should be outfitted with turrets and top grade military sensors

If the cashier was able to carry a gun, all of this could have been avoided. I agree. Should be able to order a gun with your happy meal too.

 

[Kurita]

Guns, bacon and McDonalds, story is so 'Murica it hurts.

 

[Randolph Freelander]

I mean, we are talking about bacon.

 

[- J - D -]

No bacon in prison, lady.

 

[DOWN]

 

[Rest]

Well, I mean, they did screw her order up twice.

 

[Hiltz]

Crazy lady, giving bacon to a pig is cannibalism.

 

[EulaCapra]

Jesus glad no one was hurt.

But at the same time... I feel her struggle.

 

[Brannon]

New Line Cinema presents:

McDonald's II: The Baconing

This summer, she's gonna pu... oh wow that was going to get dark...

 

[jman2050]

Imagine if the Hamburglar used a handgun.

 

[L33T]

I thought the story was satire when I first read the title.
Good ol' Murica.

 

[entremet]

What happened to that guy? Funny poster.

 

[legbone]

unleash the grimace.

this country is quickly becoming the wild wild west of the old days. pretty soon we are going to have to all have guns on our hips and a long rifle or shotgun on our backs. between the criminals and the police i feel like i'm caught in a crossfire. not sure i want to own a gun myself though. i have pretty dark days and i guarantee i would use it on myself before some poor innocent stranger.

 

[bjork]

Suge Knight of fast food.

Facing seven years over some bacon, what the hell.

 

[Grizzo]

Bitch Better Have My Bacon

 

[Amory]

Kind of flippant language in that article for something pretty serious...

 

[The Janitor]

 

[hatmoza]

This is why swine is forbidden in some religions.

 

[legbone]

Kind of flippant language in that article for something pretty serious...

well, it is the daily news after all.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

She wants the B!

 

[Angelus Errare]

lmao this made me laugh so damn hard for some reason.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I think this picture is appropriate for this story.

 

[Razmos]

She needs that gun to defend her rights you guys.

 

[Synless]

My boss was directly behind this woman at this McDonalds when this happened. He had to court to testify against her. Pretty crazy woman.

 

[terrisus]

There are papers that write "screwed up?"

...Oh, New York Daily News.

She seemed like she was in a good mood, slipping a handsome cashier her number

Wonder if he'll be calling her.

 

[Kittygirl]

She, sadly, didn't know you can buy pre-cooked bacon at the grocery store. And it may be sad, but it's better than McDonald's bacon.

 

[studyguy]

That's not an Onion article. God damn.

 

[Piston Hyundai]

Kind of flippant language in that article for something pretty serious...

"Thank god nobody was hurt. Now we can be silly with our article!"

Fuck whoever wrote this. You don't get to crack jokes because it's "just" an attempted murder.

Spoiler

Save that kind of shit for the dozen or so people above me to do.

 

[bengraven]

Oh fuck, it was Shaneka Torres? Don't they know not to fuck with Shaneka Torres?

Didn't they know who they were talking to?

 

[see5harp]

lmao this made me laugh so damn hard for some reason.

It's because it's funny.

 

[Producer]

7 years for a mcdonalds burger...lol dammm

 

[LOLDSFAN]

She should've went to Burger King.

She could have had it her way.

 

[- J - D -]

The saddest burger.

 

[terrisus]

That's not an Onion article. God damn.

Did the burger have onion on it?

 

[Floridian]

 

[NobleGundam]

The victim here is really bacon.

 

[cdyhybrid]

She needs that gun to defend her rights you guys.

Well, it is written in the Constitution. Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and bacon.

 

[IISANDERII]

But she soured quickly when workers shorted her once again

 

[Angelus Errare]

It's because it's funny.

Nah, I figured it out. It's the avatar.

 

[3phemeral]

Glad it wasn't the one near here. There's a really sweet, older lady that is just fantastic to everyone. So bright and cheery, it's infectious. They even use her voice on the intercom when you pull up at the drivethru.

Fortunate no one was hurt.

 

[ffdgh]

I know many love some bacon but come on.

 

[ItIsOkBro]

anywhere else would gladly give up their guns in the hopes that crazy ass people would no longer be able to get their hands on them.

 

[Frog-fu]

Lock this cunt up for life and throw away the key. Just thinking of how many bystanders could have been hurt is infuriating.

 

[gutter_trash]

where did she get her gun?

put her in jail.

put the gun seller in jail

put the gun manufacturer in jail