Would you be insulted if someone was interested in you -because- of your ethnicity?

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I don't agree with the posters who say it's the same as being attracted to certain physical features. It's one thing to be attracted to certain features, but it's another to be attracted purely by ethnicity.

And it's another thing to be interested enough to date the person.

Devolution said:
This is going to sound terrible but there's more than a few white women view minorities as fuckable but not marriageable material.

This, sadly, goes the other way for most minority families too, especially with people that come from more traditional families.
 
Devolution said:
This is going to sound terrible but there's more than a few white women view minorities as fuckable but not marriageable material.
well that confirms a suspicion I've had for a while then.
 
DanteFox said:
Yeah it's news to me. It's rare to see white women with black guys, as well as other non-white -looking minorities.
White girls often love black guys. It's not an uncommon match.
 
FairyD said:


I don't have my camera with me and the best pic I can compare to it now is one that is almost two years old.

tuy1R.jpg


Its like that only almost twice as big.

They always go up to me and say "I like your hair" and then feel it.
 
Devolution said:
This is going to sound terrible but there's more than a few white women view minorities as fuckable but not marriageable material.

This is true of Asian men? What little I know suggests this isn't the case, but I could easily be wrong. This is hardly an area of inquiry I've invested in.

By "minorities" do you really mean all minorities?

As a side note, this is a potentially explosive topic. Everyone try to avoid racism -- you're doing well so far, keep it up.
 
BocoDragon said:
White girls often love black guys. It's not an uncommon match.

I think that's because B/W relationships are more socially acceptable than other combinations.

Opiate said:
This is true of Asian men? What little I know suggests this isn't the case, but I could easily be wrong. This is hardly an area of inquiry I've invested in.

By "minorities" do you really mean all minorities?

As a side note, this is a potentially explosive topic. Everyone try to avoid racism -- you're doing well so far, keep it up.

As an Asian guy, I can tell you two things:

- Traditional/1st-gen Asian guys will typically go for Asian girls as marriage material since there's the whole "family expectations" kind of thing.
- 2nd or 3rd gen Asian men are more likely to date outside their ethnicity.
 
BocoDragon said:
True. :P Well, I think attraction is an area where race and ethnicity are valid criterion of judgement. We're not talking about judging the quality of character... We're talking about individual taste. It doesn't matter if it's mating or food. Some people have broad pallets, some have narrow pallets. some like only local, while some like foreign :P
In a perfect world that would be good enough for everyone. Still if you hear a white girl say she won't date a black guy no one gets upset because they think that is just her preference. Everyone just assumes it's plain ole racism.

It might be some of the time, but I doubt all of it is.
 
Opiate said:
This is true of Asian men? What little I know suggests this isn't the case, but I could easily be wrong. This is hardly an area of inquiry I've invested in.
I dated a girl from Tennessee my freshman year and she told me she had to go limited profile just in case one of our family members saw pictures or something. That's my personal experience.
 
Opiate said:
This is true of Asian men? What little I know suggests this isn't the case, but I could easily be wrong. This is hardly an area of inquiry I've invested in.

By "minorities" do you really mean all minorities?

As a side note, this is a potentially explosive topic. Everyone try to avoid racism -- you're doing well so far, keep it up.

I mostly mean hispanic and black. To be honest I haven't heard much about one time or fleeting sexual interests in asian men.
 
Opiate said:
Do black men do better in the dating pool? I've never been interested in casual sex, so I honestly don't know. I had kind of assumed that white men had the (unfair) advantage, as they seem to in almost all other arenas.

It may be different where I am from, where the taboo of inter-ethnic dating is pretty much dried up. But there are an astronomical amount of black men with non-black women. I have plenty of female friends who will occasionally dish and say something along the lines of, they've occasionally fantasized about what it would be like being with a black man - or something along those lines.
 
Opiate said:
Do black men do better in the dating pool? I've never been interested in casual sex, so I honestly don't know. I had kind of assumed that white men had the (unfair) advantage, as they seem to in almost all other arenas.

Quite possibly a different story in the real world, but okcupid statistics have this to say:


http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

Reply-By-Race-Male.png


White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.


White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.
 
shadyspace said:
More acceptable than Hispanic and Black? Or Asian and White? Or White and Hispanic? Nah.

I'd probably say that it's definitely more acceptable than Asian man and White woman, at the very least. White/Black couples of both genders are quite common up here in Canada.
 
SRG01 said:
I don't agree with the posters who say it's the same as being attracted to certain physical features. It's one thing to be attracted to certain features, but it's another to be attracted purely by ethnicity.

And it's another thing to be interested enough to date the person.



This, sadly, goes the other way for most minority families too, especially with people that come from more traditional families.
Ethnicities are bundles of traits, though.

If you like blonde hair on a girl... You're probably going to choose Caucasian.

If you like almond shaped eyes on a girl.. you're probably going to choose Asian.

In so far as much as we judge mates based on physical looks at all... Ethnicity is potentially a factor. Nothing wrong with that.
 
It would depend largely on their approach, no? There's ways to be flattering and creepy/weird/overly fetishistic.

I'm not sure black men necessarily have a huge advantage compared to other ethnicities, but they are often portrayed as hyper-masculine and sexually proficient.
 
EschatonDX said:
It's always weird. But it's not a bad thing as long as they're not 'ohhh let me know your culture' and shit. That's just strange.

laugh.gif


Embarassing, pretty self-aggrandizing. There's no mythic ultra racial dating status for them. My neighbors in this hall say they wanna bang a black dude before they get married or something once in a while though.



I know that feel bro. It's weird. I don't wanna watch a bollywood movie with you girl.

Ah yes. College is basically the all you can eat blonde white chick buffet for a moderately attractive black man.
 
BocoDragon said:
White girls often love black guys. It's not an uncommon match.

I think it is rare statistically.

"In 2007, 4.6% of all married Blacks in the United States were wed to a White partner, and 0.4% of all Whites were married to a Black partner"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriage_in_the_United_States

This also shows black men having a far lower response rate than other men though it's nowhere as bad as black women:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/
 
I don't think I'd be insulted at all unless they expect stereotypes out of me.

As for you second question here's my anecdotal:

From what I've seen white females are interested in black men at least for one night stands.

Asian females are mostly interested in white men, at least Koreans are.

Hispanic females are interested in black or hispanic.

Again, based on what I've seen.
 
SRG01 said:
I'd probably say that it's definitely more acceptable than Asian man and White woman, at the very least. White/Black couples of both genders are quite common up here in Canada.
If they are fine with white guy/asian girl, then asian guy/white girl shouldn't be a huge difference... the only thing is that it's seen as very uncommon more than to say it's not acceptable per se
 
Trying to combine Kinitari's experience with that data, it's possible that women willing to date black men are not just willing but particularly interested in black men. By contrast, white men get broad interest from a variety of women, but none of them has a particular and overwhelming preference for them.

It's also possible that, as Evilore said, that data doesn't represent preferences outside the internet. Or it's possible Kinitari's anecdotal evidence represents too small a sample size.
 
Atrus said:
I think it is rare statistically.

"In 2007, 4.6% of all married Blacks in the United States were wed to a White partner, and 0.4% of all Whites were married to a Black partner"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriage_in_the_United_States

This also shows black men having a far lower response rate than other men though it's nowhere as bad as black women:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

Its different in Canada. Black guys got game.
 
Medalion said:
If they are fine with white guy/asian girl, then asian guy/white girl shouldn't be a huge difference... the only thing is that it's seen as very uncommon more than to say it's not acceptable per se

That reminds me of one of my best buddies (who is from Korea). He used to get down about seeing white guys with Asian girls all over the place and felt like he would never have a chance because they prefer white guys to Asian guys.

I'm not sure if there are any stats on that, but I tried to cheer him up by telling him to look out for Asian girl plus Asian guy couples. Not sure if it worked...
 
SRG01 said:
I'd probably say that it's definitely more acceptable than Asian man and White woman, at the very least. White/Black couples of both genders are quite common up here in Canada.
Oh well, there you go. It's the exact opposite in America. Especially considering our history with white female/black male relationships. Nobody ever got lynched when an Asian dude hooked up with a white woman.
 
I'm middle eastern. I don't look particularly middle eastern. I've had girls that were interested before knowing my ethnicity. Turned off after learning the truth. It kind of sucks.
 
Peagles said:
That reminds me of one of my best buddies (who is from Korea). He used to get down about seeing white guys with Asian girls all over the place and felt like he would never have a chance because they prefer white guys to Asian guys.

I'm not sure if there are any stats on that, but I tried to cheer him up by telling him to look out for Asian girl plus Asian guy couples. Not sure if it worked...
Tell that to fellow GAFfer Kuro Madoushi. I remember him mentioning that he's a non-Korean Asian (chinese Canadian) who did just fine landing a Korean wife .
 
Opiate said:
Trying to combine Kinitari's experience with that data, it's possible that women willing to date black men are not just willing but particularly interested in black men. By contrast, white men get broad interest from a variety of women, but none of them has a particular and overwhelming preference for them.

It's also possible that, as Evilore said, that data doesn't represent preferences outside the internet. Or it's possible Kinitari's anecdotal evidence represents too small a sample size.

I'd say it's also about being interested in what people perceive as a different outlook/culture. It's often assumed a minority is "exotic" in one form or another, thus more interesting. It sounds racist but it's usually not meant to be demeaning or offensive.
 
One of my good friends is Filipino and he will date almost any race girl, but the one that comes home to see mom has to be Filipino or no deal. I don't have a problem with it but I laugh at him sometimes for how strict he is with the rule.
 
As someone with interracial attractions, i say Yes...there's a difference between being attracted to people of other ethnicities, and fetish-izing it.
 
I've had this happen to me a couple times. In high school mostly and once more in community college. I'd say it's more of an immature chick move to do (or guy if that's your thing) this, so that's why I haven't encountered this anytime lately (and I haven't met any girls parents in a long time...my relationships don't last long).

I did do it once for a friend so her dad would let her date this other guy.
 
Opiate said:
Trying to combine Kinitari's experience with that data, it's possible that women willing to date black men are not just willing but particularly interested in black men. By contrast, white men get broad interest from a variety of women, but none of them has a particular and overwhelming preference for them.

It's also possible that, as Evilore said, that data doesn't represent preferences outside the internet. Or it's possible Kinitari's anecdotal evidence represents too small a sample size.

I think this probably makes sense, the reason why it sticks out so much to me is ethnicity in particular is an aspect of attraction. Using OKC as an example, a girl messaged me saying

"Hey, not to sound creepy, but I think dreads are really sexy, along with the black men attached to them ;)" - that's verbatim. I've met this girl, I've talked to her, and she's a nice enough person - but it's very obvious from talking to her that my ethnicity played a role, at least with the initial attraction.

Also, location probably plays a part too.
 
Asian women more so than any other group seem to date outside their race. It's almost out of the ordinary to see a Asian woman/Asian male pairing in the US.
 
crimzonflame said:
Its different in Canada. Black guys got game.

They're also exceedingly rare in many parts of Canada. The metropolitan areas may differ but I'd figure that the population distributions don't necessarily allow people to date others from a similar background.

I was essentially one of a small handful of non-white students up until high school here in Calgary. It blows my mind when I look back and realize that I never really thought about myself being the only few visible minorities in the grade.

Not only am I ethnically ambiguous, it would be impossible for me to date 'within my race' so technically every relationship I've had is 'interracial'.

I usually hate these types of conversations anyway. It always makes me feel bad when everybody's essentially pointing and saying "not one of us!".
 
Medalion said:
If they are fine with white guy/asian girl, then asian guy/white girl shouldn't be a huge difference... the only thing is that it's seen as very uncommon more than to say it's not acceptable per se

It is a huge difference, at least from my experience. Gender reversals aren't trivial.
 
BocoDragon said:
White girls often love black guys. It's not an uncommon match.
In my experience, this is not what I've observed.
EviLore said:
Quite possibly a different story in the real world, but okcupid statistics have this to say:


http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

Reply-By-Race-Male.png
White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.


White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.
THIS is what I've observed.
 
DanteFox said:
In my experience, this is not what I've observed.

THIS is what I've observed.

To be fair I think it depends on region. I'd like to see the OKC breakdown with urban/metropolitan places compared with say middle america, and see if there is a discrepancy in pattern or frequency.
 
Devolution said:
To be fair I think it depends on region. I'd like to see the OKC breakdown with urban/metropolitan places compared with say middle america, and see if there is a discrepancy in pattern or frequency.

I agree. I expect conservative cultural views would greatly reduce the number of women interested in dating anyone outside their race.

On the other hand, I also suspect that OkCupid is already a slightly more liberal slice of America than would be average. I cannot prove that, though.

Edit: Wait, yes I can. They say that explicitly in the article linked.

As a side discussion, has any white man here ever had a woman specifically interested in them because of their ethnicity? I agree instinctively with Devolution who suggests that the "exotic" nature of minorities makes them appealing sometimes, but I can't imagine white men are "exotic" to many women in America. Again, despite the fact that I am white and might actually have input on this part of the discussion, my almost complete lack of interest in the dating scene makes my knowledge of the topic very limited.
 
Opiate said:
I agree. I expect conservative cultural views would greatly reduce the number of women interested in dating anyone outside their race.

On the other hand, I also suspect that OkCupid is already a slightly more liberal slice of America than would be average. I cannot prove that, though.

Edit: Wait, yes I can. They say that explicitly in the article linked.

As a side discussion, has any white man here ever had a woman specifically interested in them because of their ethnicity? I agree instinctively with Devolution who suggests that the "exotic" nature of minorities makes them appealing sometimes, but I can't imagine white men are "exotic" to many women in America. Again, despite the fact that I am white and might actually have input on this part of the discussion, my almost complete lack of interest in the dating scene makes my knowledge of the topic very limited.

I don't know man, i think you are underestimating how slow assimilation can be for immigrants in america or other parts of the west. I think in more traditional households or communities white men might represent this "exotic breath of fresh air" to first generation children. Well maybe exotic isn't the right word in this case. I've seen with my immediate relatives how white males represent an embrace to their american cultural identity while at the same time a distancing to what they perceive as their archaic heritage.
 
Opiate said:
I agree. I expect conservative cultural views would greatly reduce the number of women interested in dating anyone outside their race.

On the other hand, I also suspect that OkCupid is already a slightly more liberal slice of America than would be average. I cannot prove that, though.

Edit: Wait, yes I can. They say that explicitly in the article linked.

As a side discussion, has any white man here ever had a woman specifically interested in them because of their ethnicity? I agree instinctively with Devolution who suggests that the "exotic" nature of minorities makes them appealing sometimes, but I can't imagine white men are "exotic" to many women in America. Again, despite the fact that I am white and might actually have input on this part of the discussion, my almost complete lack of interest in the dating scene makes my knowledge of the topic very limited.
A black girl in high school was flirting with me and told me she liked white boys.
 
I'm not really ethnically unique (french/english) but rare ethnic peoples are hotter because they're not common yes.

If I was in their shoes, I wouldn't be insulted.
 
Devolution said:
This is going to sound terrible but more than a few white women view minorities as fuckable but not marriageable material.


Seen it happen.
I get the feeling that it's outside pressure and internal doubts, but that's just a theory.
 
Opiate said:
I agree. I expect conservative cultural views would greatly reduce the number of women interested in dating anyone outside their race.

On the other hand, I also suspect that OkCupid is already a slightly more liberal slice of America than would be average. I cannot prove that, though.

Edit: Wait, yes I can. They say that explicitly in the article linked.

As a side discussion, has any white man here ever had a woman specifically interested in them because of their ethnicity? I agree instinctively with Devolution who suggests that the "exotic" nature of minorities makes them appealing sometimes, but I can't imagine white men are "exotic" to many women in America. Again, despite the fact that I am white and might actually have input on this part of the discussion, my almost complete lack of interest in the dating scene makes my knowledge of the topic very limited.

White men are favored because they are perceived to be, and technically are, culturally dominant.
 
Well I'm white, so I don't have an ethnicity.


Opiate said:
As a side discussion, has any white man here ever had a woman specifically interested in them because of their ethnicity?

I grew up in an area with a lot of hispanic immigrants who had a very endemic culture. They definitely viewed white culture as exotic, and in some cases sexy because to them it embodied high culture and class.
 
I'd only mind if they go out with me solely because I'm black, and/or they only go out with black guys. I won't be upset if they just appreciate the "perks." :p
shadyspace said:
Asian women more so than any other group seem to date outside their race. It's almost out of the ordinary to see a Asian woman/Asian male pairing in the US.
Anecdotal, but in my college (roughly 80/20 female/male, and has a good number of Asians), all the Asian females are with Asian guys. Some of them told me they don't mind dating outside their race, but still.
 
IMO I don't really agree or buy into the idea of "race" w/r/t to skin color or whatever. Everyone is part of the human "Race" and other things like black or asian or middle eastern are just geographical subdivisions or whatever you'd call it.
 
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